This Will Be My Mother’s First Lone Seder

By Tzirl Goldman for COLlive.com

It’s Friday morning, erev Shabbos Hagodol (the Shabbos before Pesach) days of coronavirus in the month of Nissan 5780 (April 2020).

My husband and I have been home for the past two weeks. We’ve settled into a routine; learning chassidus in the morning, davening, breakfast. He then “go to work” at the desk he’s created at the kitchen table. My “work” then takes me around the house cleaning for the upcoming holiday or heading to the grocery store and other errands. Most importantly, we are well and grateful for that, thank G-d. Additionally, we’re blessed to have our children married. Although we miss them, and the grandchildren, it’s a blessing in disguise that there are less people in the house. Dare I say, that I can handle this.

My mother, Mrs. Sarah Malka Simon, on the other hand, is all alone.

Although she lives a few blocks away, in the same neighborhood my seeing her is not as I’m used to. I have “visited” her from “six feet away”. It’s insane to not walk into her home and spend time with her face to face. I’ll simply drop off something she requested, or while on a walk stop by to check that she’s ok, but it’s not as I would usually do.

She too is preparing for Pesach.

Everyone is preparing for Pesach! While for some, plans for the holiday have not changed, for many it has. There will be no Pesach programs to attend, no traveling to grandparents’ homes, no gathering of families in large spacious accommodations so everyone can be together. And so that leaves Pesach to be celebrated at home and for a lot of people, it will be the first time they’re doing so.

It’s also a first for my mother. Her first Pesach that she will be alone. This I cannot handle.

My father passed away last year (Adar I 5779/February 2019). Pesach last year was a first as well, for my mother and my siblings. Although my father had been ill for many years, he was taken care of at home, by my mother. Pesach was soon after his passing the first in which his presence was missed.

Corona has now taken over our lives. The elderly are at risk.

“You are not to leave the house, and no one is to come in”, were the instructions of our family doctor. My mother had called to tell me the verdict.

In the past few weeks,( realizing my mother’s plans to join my sister and her family in Montreal will not be) my sisters and I were discussing what the chances would be of Ma joining one of us locally or one of us going to her home to be with her. As per the clear instructions of Dr. Rosen, it’s neither.

Ma will be alone for the seder and the holiday of Pesach.

While talking to my mother last night, the reality of it set in, and hit me hard. I tried to keep my emotions intact, didn’t want to make it harder on her than it already is, so I tried to make the conversation light.

On her living room couch there is a collection of photo pillows. A few years ago, my sister had ordered the pillows, with a collage of family pictures on each, as an anniversary gift to my parents.
“Ma, so for the seder, you can set a pillow on a dining room chair, and have the family with you!” She and I had a laugh. “You know how the little girls set up imaginary tea parties, well you’ll have your own tea party-seder”. And we chuckled a little more.

My mother is a strong woman. She has shown me and my siblings how to face, work through and live through challenging times. During the years she cared for my father she was always positive and hopeful. Her home was a welcoming place for family and friends, simchas, celebrating and just visiting.

Her advice to me, during challenging times in life, has always been der aibishter bleibt nit kein baal choiv, G-d is not a debtor, He doesn’t forsake his people.

Dear G-d, now is a good time to pay up.

Let Ma cancel her seder-tea party.

 

In the merit of a speedy recovery for those who are stricken by COVID-19.