Thursday, 18 Shevat, 5783
  |  February 9, 2023

Rabbi Yitzy’s 10 Marriage Tips

Rabbi Yitzy Hurwitz, the spirited Shliach battling ALS disease, offers 10 quick marriage tips for men in honor of Tu B'Av. Full Story

Applied Chassidus: The Middle East

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good one
August 15, 2014 11:49 am

just forwarded to my hubby 🙂

August 14, 2014 11:09 pm

wow that is so perfect, thank you! so practical and meaningful and helpful

August 13, 2014 11:49 am

Thank you for your wonderful suggestions.
With this month of great happenings we want to see you strong and healthy again.
I love your writing please continue.
I read it to my husband and we decided to do things better than ever before, in respecting and caring for one another.
Thank you again

To Number 70
August 13, 2014 11:42 am

Of course there are exceptions and you clearly have made a decision to change the past…this is the ultimate in lifes purpose, which is to change how you behave against your nature and break your teva.

I take my borsalino off to you, and your husband is a very lucky guy. We can either continue the bad trend, take a good upbringing and be a nasty person or, like you, determine to change the past.

Thats why baalei Tshuvah are even higher than Tzaddikim. I salute you !

ONE MORE for the list
August 13, 2014 11:37 am

If and when you mess up and speak harshly or meanly to her, don’t pretend nothing happened or that there’s something wrong with her for being upset.
INSTEAD: Put on your “big boy” pants and go to her and ask her to forgive you for what you did — ASAP (don’t delay)!

August 13, 2014 2:11 am

women also need respect. or at least i do. for neither gender does it mean unnecessary honor. it means basic human civility and respect for the other’s opinions and desires. it means you dont demean the other person or undermine them in front of others.

"women get emotional and irrational"
August 13, 2014 2:08 am

correction: PEOPLE get emotional and irrational

to 66
August 12, 2014 9:04 pm

The way ur future mother in law treats her husband is not at all necessarily how ur wife will treat u. my friend has a cousin who comes from a loving good home, her parents had a wonderful marriage to emulate, but she herself is pretty obnoxious and uncaring and her marriage is VERY different than her parents. on the other hand, my parents did not have the greatest marriage but i firmly decided i would be a very differnt peson and today i am proud to say that my husband and children are very happy with me bc i… Read more »

over seas
August 12, 2014 3:27 pm

itzy we all love you very much and wish you a swift recovery

Pin POint!
August 12, 2014 2:23 pm

On the spot perfect and witty advice!

August 12, 2014 2:05 pm

rabbi yizi we wish you a compleet refuo shlaimo now we wil contineu to daven for you we love you

To Number 36
August 12, 2014 11:01 am

You are a very smart woman and your husband is a very lucky guy… #1 IMHO is making sure to respect him. I dont mean, to bow down to him, but to be sure not to demean and insult, especially in front of the kids. Its too late for me the damage is already done. But any guy looking for a shidduch pay close attention: The way your (future) mother in law treats her husband is the way your (future) wife will treat you. Dont want to get distracted but thank you so much Rabbi Yitzy, I dont know you… Read more »

August 12, 2014 10:43 am


to #54
August 12, 2014 1:35 am

Your post is very important, thank you for sharing. Happily married couples do fight, their marriages don’t always look rosy to an onlooker; but there is something that holds the couple together – that something is seeing the other with a good eye, accepting the other the way they are at the end of the day.

To #54 and #60
August 11, 2014 11:51 pm

I’m so sorry to read that it’s not better, it sounded like you had said you had learned to accept the faults. I believe that there is a better life for everyone. Everyone deserves to be in a truly loving and passionate marriage. Also there is no reason to be anti-medication. If it would help, wouldn’t that be a good thing…? Wishing you hatzlacha that you and your husband will get there.

Shimmy, you're birthday brother.
August 11, 2014 11:30 pm

Please post the hole story of # 7, i don’t remember the complete story. Thanks

I CALL FOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 11, 2014 11:02 pm

Not fair!
Mootah (Hee, Hee)

To 57 from 54
August 11, 2014 8:48 pm

Why do u assume I’m doing better? It’s actually so Much worse . As time goes on the amount of flowers I should have received by now…!!! I would love to go to a marrage councellor but I can’t find one that is either married themselves or nearer to my age then my kids ages. Plus I really do want to stay married to my husband and I don’t want to be told that they recommend we both take medication ! Not do we fancy spending the next 10 years talking about every little thing that’s ever gone wrong in… Read more »

August 11, 2014 7:47 pm

this is great! thanks for sharing!
refuah shelaima!
continue inspiring ad meah vishmonim!

to 54
August 11, 2014 7:39 pm

glad youre venting but a better idea is to vent to a mashpia/friend/counselor NOT col

To # 54
August 11, 2014 5:44 pm

I’m glad to hear that you’re doing better but just throwing my story out there that my husband had a lot of the issues you write about and it turns out he had been suffering from post traumatic stress disorder from childhood abuse and never received any counseling for it…just throwing it out there as a possibility…I think it is sadly more common with boys in yeshivas than we realize…

Refoua chleima!
August 11, 2014 5:39 pm

Thank you Rabbi Yitzy for these great advices!
May Hashem send you a very fast recovery!
Moshiach now!!

August 11, 2014 5:31 pm

Rabbi Yitzi you should have a REFUAH SHLEIMO. You sound like every womans dream of a husband. Im sure sending your advice on to mine.

My husband doesn't
August 11, 2014 3:15 pm

Compliment me Buy me gifts Always critical Always yells Won’t go to a councellor Makes me cry Falls asleep when I need to talk Always on his phone…. But at 18 yrs of marrage I know the reason behind all these awful traits and I laugh when he yells, I buy my own flowers and gifts , when he makes me cry we both know they are fake, TG he doesn’t listen to all my worries all day long coz I would never shut up,I’m also always on my phone, me on fb him earning a parnosa for our family….… Read more »

August 11, 2014 3:04 pm

Yitzi Yitzi you are the best better then the rest
Tzippy &elie

great stuff reb Yitzy
August 11, 2014 3:02 pm

Im gonna print and keep this. thanks so much. Refua Shleima bekorov mamash

Thank you for being mezakeh Klal Yisroel
August 11, 2014 2:59 pm

Hashem will not foresake you. Keep going strong and keep sharing and inspiring. Yitzi, you mean more to so many people than any words can express, and that increases with each thing that you share and are mezakeh thousands. Thanks to your wife too for taking such good care of you and inspiring many, and allowing you to inspire many. Hashem will answer OUR prayers. The Rebbe will save his children.

and Rabbi,you have BH an amazing wife!
August 11, 2014 2:24 pm

she’s incredible!!!!

mushky says
August 11, 2014 2:04 pm

cant wait hear mrs hurwitz’s advice

Thank You So Much
August 11, 2014 1:47 pm

For you beautifull advice . May Hashem help you with a
REFUAH SHLEIMA UKROIVA and you should continue
your great work in good health and happiness.

Thank you YH
August 11, 2014 1:07 pm

Thank you YH
That was so cute
# 36 very nice
Excellent points both

Rabbi, you are spot on
August 11, 2014 11:52 am

Rabbi, you made me laugh and cry at the same time. What a great man you are, this can save marriages, people need down to earth help, big fancy words wash over most,

Thanks and strength to you for fast recovery.
Chana s

on target
August 11, 2014 11:03 am

This article hit the spot!

So True!
August 11, 2014 10:56 am

This is great.
It really made me laugh because it is so so true yet totally unsaid and unknown.
It should be printed in huge at the back of every yichud room door!

August 11, 2014 10:54 am

in honor of helping young , middle age , and elder couples with Sholom Bayis

Promise : Hashem will send you a Reuo Shelemo and a Refuo Kerevo in the very very near future ,

for all the readers ; please print Rabbi Itzys 10 married tips
read it weekly , not yearly ,
BTW: Itzy rote it to MAN , the same things goes for women to treat their husbands , man need the same attention ,

some of these are nice, but
August 11, 2014 10:46 am

i am a woman.

i’m not a fan of flowers. i’d rather a book… i also yell a lot when i’m excited, angry, unable to hear the other person, or making a point. please don’t stereotype both genders.

August 11, 2014 10:35 am

Laughing in tears, this morning my husband must have read this article.
He complimented my pajamas it was the cutest thing. He said how elegant they look (a word he barely uses) and then asked me what exquisite means because that’s how I look. It was so sweet! Thank you rabbi yitzi! Refuah shlaima krova!

August 11, 2014 10:11 am

As a newly wed in the beginning stages of marriage, when my husband and I realized we needed serious marriage help, we were horrified by the thought that we had problems. Everyone expects to get married and that everything runs perfectly. It is so comforting to hear that going for help is something that is acceptable. I thank you!!!

Regarding counceling-
August 11, 2014 9:57 am

I have always had this thought – You need to go to a driving instructor to learn driving, you need to go to a culinary school to learn how to cook, you need instruction to operate machinery- and then, the most important and COMPLICATED thing on earth, which is marriage, everyone just assumes they already know how to do it. Add to it the fact that the ‘know-how”s are twenty- something, and you face a disaster! Would you give them a car to drive without teaching them first??? There are some Chassidus movements that make it mandatory to have a… Read more »

Spot On!
August 11, 2014 9:03 am

Don’t get carried away with adding your two cents.
Is this article not transparent?
It clearly represents the epitome of what Rabbi Yitzy is and continues to be – always GIVING.
Beautiful. I hope this is the start of a very much needed book.
Refuah Sh’laima.

to #33
August 11, 2014 7:30 am

marriage is not a competition. you both need to make positive investments into the marriage bank account.

10 things to make your husband feel loved. By a wife
August 11, 2014 7:00 am

1) smile when he walks in the door. Greet him warmly before getting straight into “it’s been really hectic at home, kids are fighting…” 2) RESPECT him. men crave respect. show your husband you admire him, will make him feel like he’s worth a million bucks. 3) when he crawls into his little hole (which all men do), give him his space. if he needs to close down a bit, don’t pursue him. he’ll just withdraw more. He’ll come out of his shell when he’s ready, if he sees you are giving him his space. 4) compliment him for all… Read more »

yasherkoiach rabbi
August 11, 2014 4:44 am

beautiful and inspiring!

To #29
August 11, 2014 4:06 am

We women do 10 & more every day – you guys just don’t notice!!! A thank you now and again would be very nice.

I wish my husband would take these tips on board, but we have been married so long B”H he won’t change now. Oh well, he is good in so many other ways!

to # 29
August 11, 2014 3:04 am

it is called staying home with the children all day try it for a week see how easy it is

To number 29
August 11, 2014 2:38 am

You are definitely …. A guy!

August 11, 2014 2:16 am

Wow amazing

August 11, 2014 1:29 am

Ok number 29 what do u have 2 say let’s hear can’t wait

ok,,,,now for the 10 things to do for your husband!!!
August 11, 2014 12:44 am


August 11, 2014 12:27 am


rabbi yitzi your the best
August 11, 2014 12:25 am


August 10, 2014 11:46 pm

Pure practical. Hope to use it one day…

Refua sheleima bemiheira
August 10, 2014 11:38 pm

Amazing, even when you are suffering so much, you still show such concern for others. May HaShem bless you and yours with Kol Tuv!

Very special Rabbi
August 10, 2014 11:22 pm

Thanks for sharing these amazing tips
Refua sheleima bemiheira

A brocha
August 10, 2014 11:21 pm

May you soon be able to do each and every one of the things on this list for your wife !!!!!

from a woman
August 10, 2014 11:18 pm

wow! you got it right

feel better
August 10, 2014 11:05 pm

May you your Simcha poretz all gedorim

August 10, 2014 11:00 pm

this will definitely give me things to think about . thanks 🙂

You are so cool!!
August 10, 2014 10:53 pm

Go Yitzi, and have a complete and speedy recovery. Amen!
How do you know all these stuff? Wow!

August 10, 2014 10:49 pm

Rabbi Yitzy !!!!! this is the VERY first time i am reading something about marriage that makes sense!!!!!!!!!! there are no lofty words , it is sooooo down to earth!!!!

I was. Laughing the whole time!
August 10, 2014 10:48 pm

Refua shelaima!

Thank You!
August 10, 2014 10:45 pm

May we hear BSuros Tovos!!!

Great advise!!
August 10, 2014 10:43 pm

Really enjoyed reading this! Very good advise!

his wife is a lucky woman....
August 10, 2014 10:41 pm

Can I add one?? Help her whenever you can around the house. This helps her not feel like she’s the “cleaner” and responsible for the cleaning. It should be an attitude of our home, our responsibility.

August 10, 2014 10:34 pm

Can’t believe this is coming from a guy!! It’s a must read and thanks for sharing!!!

Great article!!
August 10, 2014 10:22 pm

Thank you for posting.
May you have a refua shleima krova!!!
Keep strong.
We all love you.

August 10, 2014 10:22 pm

Your perseverance to communicate your wisdom and joy of life to us is very influential. Truly neir lihoir. Blessings.
Shalom Olensky, FL

Aww, beautiful!
August 10, 2014 10:08 pm

Thank you Rabbi Hurwitz for sharing these practical tips for husbands. Brought tears to my eyes. Wishing you a refuah shleimah!!

Thank You!!!
August 10, 2014 10:01 pm

Greatest. Guy. Ever. With. Greatest. Advice. Ever!!!!

August 10, 2014 9:56 pm

you will be bringing a lot of sholom with these clever practical tips. refua shleima NOW

I went to go visit last week....
August 10, 2014 9:52 pm

Yitzy is smiling as bright as always. I thought I would go in for a few minutes, but An hour flew by real quick. treat yourself out, make a visit.

Go Yitzy

Thank you
August 10, 2014 9:50 pm

Beautiful and very practical

Love, Thanks for sharing!
August 10, 2014 9:31 pm

Refuah Shelima B’krava

Rabbi Yitzy thank you
August 10, 2014 9:20 pm

You are so special!!!
I am confident that your humility and positivity brings lots of blessing to your family.

August 10, 2014 9:17 pm

This is so funny, and spot on!

August 10, 2014 9:07 pm

and i thought i was the only one that felt that way!

refuha shalyma
August 10, 2014 9:02 pm

we miss your guitar playing. and allways smiling.