By a relative of Shimshon Stock
This Pesach, when you’re sitting around the table and chatting with family and friends, try something different. Instead of chatting about the news or sports during Shulchan Orech, talk about your single friends and relatives.
Our shidduch system isn’t just struggling, it’s missing one huge piece: people sharing ideas. And that’s something every single one of us can fix, without any training, without any title, just by being willing to speak up.
Sit around the table and start throwing out names. You’ll be surprised how quickly connections and ideas come up. One suggestion leads to another, and suddenly people realize how many possibilities were sitting right in front of them the whole time. Even if something feels like a long shot, say it anyway. So many matches start from a “maybe this is crazy, but…”
Think about it:
You have a close friend who’s single.
Your cousin or brother-in-law knows someone great.
Your neighbor mentioned a name once that stuck with you.
What if you just said it out loud?
Too often, people hesitate. They assume someone else will make the suggestion, or they convince themselves it’s not their place. But that hesitation is exactly what keeps good ideas from ever being explored.
Now here’s the part that really matters: Follow up after Yom Tov. Text your friend or relative your ideas. Make the introduction. Ask a question. Push it one step further.
Ideas are powerful, but only if we act on them.
Shadchanim can’t do this alone. They don’t know everyone, and they’re not sitting at your Seder table. We are the missing network, the informal connections that can open doors no system can replicate.
So this Pesach:
- Think about singles
- Make lists
- Share ideas
- Be bold and proactive
Pretend you’re the shadchan. Because honestly, you are.
And don’t underestimate it. One conversation, one suggestion, one follow-up message could quietly set something in motion that changes a person’s entire life.
Saying it’s the “missing piece” is not really accurate. People have been doing this for years
please go up multiple levels this pesach also. [If you use them], Quit your smart phones, your addictions, your TV, your movies, your non-jewish music, and exit egypt. This will help the shidduch crisis. Also help the other men quit these things too. Thank you
When we start the seder with Kadesh – Kedusha we shouldn’t start matching up boys and girls.
Let’s leave that to more appropriate times and places.
There’s a famous story of a chossid that wanted to do something like this at the seder in 1922 and was told off.
Wishing all those with good intentions a KOSHER and frielichen Pesach!
Why is making shidduchim not kedusha
Social media accounts and sm apps
Delete it all now
Thank you
Suggesting names is Kedusha. No one said having singles at the Seder. That arguably might not be Kedusha.
What happened in 1922?
He was told off by who?
By Another chosid?
Honestly who cares, if this is a chance for a couple to find themselves. So be it.
I agree more people have to start talking about their single friends and family.
This is the only way things can happen.
Us singles need our married friends and family to start thinking/talking and coming up with ideas. Shidduch talk on Shabbos/Yomtov is the best.
Thank you for advocating for the singles in our community!!
Great idea !!!!
But make sure you keep your table LASHON HARA free…
Many times these things can lead to pure lashon hara
don’t turn it into public table gossip. Those who need info, can ask privately for info,. This should not become a conversation that leads to inappropriate Loshon Harah!
Superb middos. This is a call to the men to perfect yourself.
The Ba’al Shem Tov says what you see in others is a mirror of yourself!!
I’m a single myself and I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of people talking about me at their seder tables in public discussions… Bring it up at a more appropriate time when you’re in private.
We should remember the singles by inviting them for pesach and for meals on shabbos
Please dont make something that supposed to be super private to something public.
Especially when it ends to be a seder discussion.
( Especially when we all know how quickly it could become just a lashon hara covered with a ‘good intention ‘ in front of a big crowd)
If you have an idea discuss it after PRIVATELY only with those who it can be concerns.
From a single who wants to get back the respect to ourselves and stop ‘wash our laundry ‘ outside as its done now.