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Tuesday, 29 Nisan, 5784
  |  May 7, 2024

Can We Get a Little More Time?

From the COLlive inbox: “This week, I waved my oldest son goodbye, my eyes filled with tears, as he left for overnight summer camp. After the busses pulled out, I returned home and was struck by a realization…” Full Story

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Agreed
June 24, 2021 8:12 pm

100% agree

Is this fair?
Reply to  Agreed
June 25, 2021 6:29 am

A full day on Sunday is a very important part of the fabric what are schools are and represent. It’s been this way for more than 65 years since the Rabbe himself fought and won the battle to give our children real, authentic chinuch here in USA — which having a full day on Sunday is so much a part of.

Is it really fair for a mother in her 30s to just question that so simply?

Menachem
Reply to  Is this fair?
June 27, 2021 3:57 am

Questions are always good and healthy to ask. Questions from a child to a parent. So as questions from a parent to the built system. Yes that is ok. Going against a parent or the system isn’t. A mother cries out yearning to spend quality time with her children. So beautiful. מיר רעדען זיך אדורך מיט א געוויין פון הארץ.
א קרעכץ איז קיין מאל ניט אומזיסט און פארלארען.

Ch parent
June 24, 2021 8:29 pm

Agree 100%
1/2day sunday

Parent and teacher
Reply to  Ch parent
June 25, 2021 12:42 am

Between the teachers we discuss this idea very often. Maybe it is necessary for the kids. And maybe it is a necessity for the teachers too. However on the other hand it must be understood that although I think Sunday shouldn’t be given totally as free time, half a day is probably the best option, but even if it doesn’t change- when I grew up somehow I felt my parents, myself and my siblings had a big connection. Because there were no smartphones around, there was every night family dinner, many days a week family board games later on in… Read more »

I love family time!
Reply to  Parent and teacher
June 25, 2021 11:36 am

I agree with how precious family time is. I feel the same way as the writer of this article- that as the family gets older and grows bigger it can get trickier. AND I agree that there are ways to FIND and MAKE the family time. It will take creativity and flexibility AND we want our chinuch to remain true to the guidelines of the Rebbe- because this is our lifeline- it goes hand in hand to what you are craving and looking for.
Thank you for your article!

Chaim
June 24, 2021 8:33 pm

Boys need to be in camp for as long pass possible close to yeshiva time
That’s what the rebbe wanted
I guess you are unfamiliar how the system works

Yes!!!
June 24, 2021 8:44 pm

Couldn’t have said this better myself

Bravo
June 24, 2021 8:47 pm

Sunday’s is family time. And ALL children need a break.. one day a week they don’t have to get up

Family time
Reply to  Bravo
June 25, 2021 11:41 am

Maybe we can switch to how they do it in Israel- erev Shabbos everyone is off because we are preparing for Shabbos. Sunday is a regular work day.

wrong
Reply to  Bravo
June 27, 2021 10:03 am

We are jewish so we learn on sunday
If you wanna take off send your kid to a public shool

Half sundays.
June 24, 2021 8:47 pm

I would love for sundays to be a half a day.

My husband is a Rebbi in Yeshiva. I wish to spend time with him together with our kids. On Shabbos we cannot go out with a baby and my husband is mostly in shul.

If bittul torah isn’t a problem. The half a day option sounds great.

Seriously, take away their devices
June 24, 2021 8:57 pm

I’m sure the children growing up nowadays need a more extended time for Vacation… After all look at the amount of purely frum and Chassidish kids coming out of our school systems… If anything they need more school to keep them away from their electronic devices at home and keep their brains occupied with holy and pure things. Spend more time with your kids and less time on YOUR phone. then you’ll see

Funny/sad
June 24, 2021 8:57 pm

You have to really be serious and sincere in your words and want to have more quality time to spend with your kids – to teach them values, which is rare today. Otherwise like I told a parent this week who’s going through the same thing, face it hes going to get married someday so start getting used to it now.

Unhealthy
June 24, 2021 8:58 pm

It’s unhealthy for boys to have too much time without a Seder.
Your point is %100 correct. But unfortunately being bored is dangerous.

I agree
Reply to  Unhealthy
June 24, 2021 9:34 pm

My brothers don’t do very well (to say the least) when they have off on Sundays 🙂

Disagree
Reply to  Unhealthy
June 24, 2021 10:17 pm

It can also be unhealthy for boys to be too much in school. Especially if they don’t have friends. They need to breath.

Mistaken identity
June 24, 2021 9:00 pm

I could’ve have almost thought this was written about the Rebbis that are actually experiencing this full schedule… They also could do with a little extra family time!

Is this real?
June 24, 2021 9:03 pm

Please discuss this with parents who actually have all their kids home on Sunday because they live in a place where there is no school on Sunday and listen carefully to what they tell you.

I agree
Reply to  Is this real?
June 24, 2021 9:37 pm

Also not every family is set up for this Disneyland type of setup where we spend “quality time” with our sons half of every Sunday.

What nonsense
Reply to  Is this real?
June 24, 2021 9:45 pm

I grew up going to secular schools that obviously were not running on Sunday. Sundays were great family time.

THANKS FOR LISTENING !!!!!
Reply to  Is this real?
June 24, 2021 9:46 pm

they all love it !

School but not full time.
Reply to  Is this real?
June 24, 2021 10:13 pm

What about half a day on sundays?

Half day
Reply to  School but not full time.
June 25, 2021 8:13 am

Make my kids go to school where there is half a day on Sunday. With all due respect, it’s a joke…

I'm one of those parents
Reply to  Is this real?
June 25, 2021 12:54 am

My girls never had school on Sundays, my boys had half a day. I only wish my boys had a full day off Sunday so they (and I) could have slept late and not have to drive them to school and wait for them to finish school so we could go on a family adventure all together. Our youngest is now 13, 2 of our kids are away in yeshiva for much of the year and I miss those Sunday afternoons. Even those when the kids made us crazy and kvetched. It was all part of the bonding experiences. I… Read more »

My kids don’t have school on Sunday.
Reply to  Is this real?
June 25, 2021 4:44 am

I live out of CH and my kids do NOT have school on Sunday. And if you “listen carefully” to me I will say that it’s AMAZING. And I am so thankful for it. I agree with everything the author is saying for the most part. Only thing I would see a problem is if someone has work on sundays then that would obviously be a problem.

From a teacher’s and parent’s perspective
June 24, 2021 9:15 pm

This is one of the biggest (easy) things that can be done both to improve chinuch and family life. It’s nearly impossible for teachers not to have a day to prepare for their week and have a day off besides shabbos. For parents, it’s critical family time. It’s a no brainer. It’s true learning shouldn’t stop, but there are ways of giving a short assignment they can do then. Bottom line in today’s life it’s a net loss not a gain.

This was the Rebbes whole fight
June 24, 2021 9:16 pm

Learning the Sichos about chinuch from farbrengens in the summer they are filled with the Cry that the Rebbe echoed time and again vacation from learning is vacation from living. The Rebbe want trying to deplete families from family time, but that can’t come on the account of being in yeshiva and cheder in a air if torah which is life and is a foundation of a person at all times. Camp is a yeshiva mibifnim and camp mebachutz. A Yeshiva on the inside and a camp on the outside is what the Rebbe said. And that is why it… Read more »

Hmm
June 24, 2021 9:17 pm

Used to think this way till BH our family grew and kids got older. Many of our husbands, and women too work Sundays as well. Making sure our kids that are home are using their time wisely is already a juggle. It reaches a point where it’s almost impossible for eo to b home at the same time- regardless of school. The schools are doing what’s best for each age group and I appreciate that. I think it’s ok if u need to plan some family time to have ur child miss a bit, rather than change a system cuz… Read more »

Friday afternoon
June 24, 2021 9:18 pm

If you make shabbos on Thursday. From after Pesach you have many hours on Friday afternoon. At 1230 you can go on a trip for 6 hrs. Or more. ( we once went to the Bronx zoo).

Sundays
June 24, 2021 9:23 pm

Maybe once a month there should be no Sunday school. It should be called family day!

Hmm
June 24, 2021 9:26 pm

Try having dinner together every night. Why Sunday, the goyishe holdiay, specifically?

School but not full time.
Reply to  Hmm
June 24, 2021 11:13 pm

Because parents are off that day… not because it’s a goyishe holiday.

Why Sunday? Here's why...
Reply to  Hmm
June 25, 2021 12:58 am

Um because you can’t go on a trip on Shabbos and most parents are off work on Sundays.

Lots of boys
June 24, 2021 9:26 pm

Lots of boys (most?) really need and thrive on the structure that a full day of school on Sunday gives them. I know this from first hand experience with my boys and I know that I am not alone.

Boredom
June 24, 2021 9:28 pm

There’s a whole shabbos weekend of quality time! Board games, meals, no distractions!
Once in a while when my girls have off, I’ll take my son out of yeshiva, so that we can do a family trip.
Practically speaking, people work, kids need structure.. There’s plenty of opportunities to connect if u want.

Sunday
June 24, 2021 9:33 pm

In the Chabad school in Miami Sunday is half a day

Miami or Lubavitch
Reply to  Sunday
June 25, 2021 6:31 am

You are talking about Miami. She is talking about ליובאוויטש שבליובאויטש….

As good as it sounds
June 24, 2021 9:42 pm

Most kids will not be spending time “with their family” and will be ding other things instead, several that you would rather they not be doing… It’s like when the girls high schools give off from the beginning of Nissan so the girls can help out for Pesach. How many girls are actually helping in the way they should, and how many are out doing other stuff? It’s not easy, but when you want something enough you make time. Perhaps make sure not to have guests for at least one of the Shabbos Seudos every week, or take all your… Read more »

Been there done that
June 24, 2021 10:14 pm

My family felt like this too even though it’s not very common in CH. I’m telling you, time flies. My family stays local in the summer for this reason.
You take them out of school and spend time with them bc the system isn’t going to change. The boys finish yeshiva at 9:30 PM and even go to “school” on shabbos.

Many families can't afford Summer camp
June 24, 2021 10:20 pm

I think you need to be proud of your son milestone going to overnight camp is a right thing for our kids preteens and teenagers, but not all families can afford the camp full time, many sent kids just for one month and for another they don’t have any plans yet, not all families can go to a family trip or family summer vacations of any type. Many girls stayed home, just because the boys went to the overnight camp. yes, it is nice to have Sundays Fun Days, but to take a family of 5 -10 kids out is… Read more »

Families that eat together stay together
Reply to  Many families can't afford Summer camp
June 25, 2021 12:34 am

Families don’t need to leave home to spend time together. It’s actually important for them to specifically just spend time together at home talking, playing, discussing, learning…

We need to “go out” less and “go IN” more

My children are home this summer
Reply to  Families that eat together stay together
June 25, 2021 10:19 am

I’m doing summer mommy & me camp for my kids – yes I can’t afford $200 per week day camp…. Yes I send only to one month to the overnight camp- I can’t afford two, but I see how important it is and also peer pressure is huge so gave whatever I can for at least one. I don’t have money to afford upstate new York or any other family trip … Yes we will do parks and maybe some museums, thanks to cool culture of my little one – what my kids will tell their classmates and how you… Read more »

Expense
Reply to  Many families can't afford Summer camp
June 25, 2021 1:02 am

There are so many free or inexpensive things to do with kids! Especially in NYC! If you show your place of residence you can get into the Metropolitan Museum of Art and other cultural institutions for free. And in good weather the parks! No child should be deprived of family outings just because they are one in a large family!

Teens for MET?
Reply to  Expense
June 25, 2021 10:07 am

Been there done for little kids. Bigger kids Bored there, they need something active and new. How much money have you spend during the ChanuKah vacation? Or HolHaMoed trips? It’s very expensive to entertain kids each Sunday but I prefer after school programs – not the school ones but like others have from Yamca etc – we don’t have it in CH… to take kids to pool you need to drive outside CH, parks during winter? No sorry but it’s not real just to go for a walk or play the ball. Teens want to have an experience and each… Read more »

How right you are
Reply to  Many families can't afford Summer camp
June 25, 2021 6:43 am

I was waiting for this response!

NYC is amazing
Reply to  Many families can't afford Summer camp
June 25, 2021 9:34 am

There are SOOO many free things to do in NYC – we go on day trips SO often and rarely spend money on the actual activity – we are surrounded by beautiful parks and nature
Im happy to send you a list if you like

Yes
Reply to  NYC is amazing
June 25, 2021 11:46 am

Yes please!

Me too
Reply to  NYC is amazing
June 25, 2021 2:41 pm

Well, we are waiting!

Great mother
June 24, 2021 10:33 pm

Your kids are lucky to have such a caring mother who values the time she is able to spend with her children. May HaShem bless you and all the parents to have good relationships with their children and lots of nachas

Resident
June 24, 2021 10:37 pm

This is nice for some people and not others . Sundays are usual work days , knowing the kids are in school is a big Bracha for some . They know they are in a safe productive environment..for many reasons some people can not spend extra time and money to be with kids all day. Yes we are happy when they are home but a whole day would leave them with too much free time .

100 percent agree
June 24, 2021 10:41 pm

Kids need a break from school, there is so much more to life than sitting behind a desk. Not only that but not all kids have an easy time at school and need other things to do that they can feel successful at.

Vocational schools
Reply to  100 percent agree
June 24, 2021 11:21 pm

Why not ?

Narishkeit
June 24, 2021 11:30 pm

In Europe our ancestors didn’t celebrate lehavdil the Goyish day off. We have Shabbos

Not a celebration
Reply to  Narishkeit
June 25, 2021 1:02 am

Just a chance to get to do things together as a family. Shopping, visiting relatives or even learning Torah with them

Here's what's narish...
Reply to  Narishkeit
June 25, 2021 1:03 am

You can’t take your kids on trips on Shabbos. Family trips nourish!

Family trips
Reply to  Here's what's narish...
June 25, 2021 9:30 am

Family trips every single Sunday? Are you serious?

We don't live in 19th century Europe anymore
Reply to  Narishkeit
June 25, 2021 8:49 am

Having backwards standards doesn’t help out our children in today’s world. Obviously Shabbos is our day of rest. Doesn’t contradict what Mrs. Friedman is writing about.

Chicago has half day Sunday
June 25, 2021 1:02 am

Chicago chinuch is second to none (even with the limudei chol) and we have half a day on Sunday.

How about make sunday a day of
June 25, 2021 1:22 am

Cool day at school?
Some sort of a chill day with the regular classes but easier things, with activities, extra sports fun etc, or vocationals manualities etc

Time flies
June 25, 2021 3:11 am

Life goes by so fast and so does your children’s childhoods. In a blink of an eye your little kids will be married and living out of the house. Now while they are still young, is the time to be with them and spend quality time together, because in a few years you won’t be able to anymore. These are the years that they will remember as their life goes on and they become adults. If we don’t spend nice quality time with them right now, and keep on pushing it off then when exactly will u?! Make time with… Read more »

100%
June 25, 2021 3:16 am

Agreed

Today's Rambam!!
June 25, 2021 4:12 am

Check out today’s(!) RAMBAM about the importance of children learning Torah and how they weren’t even used to help build the beis Hamikdosh etc. etc.

Calanders
June 25, 2021 5:02 am

How about just having the schools have coordinated calenders..that would give us more opportunity for children having same days off..

Wait a few more years
June 25, 2021 6:46 am

And when your kids become teens you will change your mind! 🙂

Right!
Reply to  Wait a few more years
June 25, 2021 9:37 am

Totally agree.
The teens are making their own plans for their free time and being on top of that is another challenge.
Best for them to b in school!

Everyone else figures it out
Reply to  Wait a few more years
June 25, 2021 9:55 am

So there can be two options here:
Only start Sunday school once the children are in high school – not when they’re 5 years old and need a Mommy in their life…
OR
Maybe that’s why children ARE doing their own thing – because they don’t feel close and connected with their family…?

Don't send your kids to camp every summer
June 25, 2021 6:56 am

Alternate and with the money you spend on camp you can use for other fun stuff.

London is Lucky!!
June 25, 2021 10:01 am

We get half school days on Sundays.
Lubavitch schools in London Senior & Primary start at 10 am and end at 1 pm.

I have been saying this for years
June 25, 2021 10:06 am

So good to know there are like minded families for my kids to marry into iyH

Would not work for us
June 25, 2021 10:32 am

While this sounds like a nice idea, it can really ONLY work if your husband works in a business that gives him off every Sunday. My husband teaches in Zal, and for us, Sunday is a regular day of the week just like Monday and Tues… I would not manage with my boys home on Sunday. For us, Family trips are the last week of the summer (when everyone is home from overnight camp) and chal hamoeds and isru chag. (This schedule also works well when your boys get older and go away for yeshiva. Those are the only times… Read more »

This is something I am SO passionate about!
Reply to  Would not work for us
June 25, 2021 11:50 am

nothing will every work for EVERYONE
The question is what is best for our children?

It’s totally possible to make Friday one hour longer
and for Sunday to finish a few hours earlier.

Pulheez
June 25, 2021 12:51 pm

You think the schools will actually change their full day sunday to half day sunday or even no school sunday? just because of one COL article? bc like thats not happening so fast

English system
June 25, 2021 1:22 pm

In England we have longer holidays by the yomim tovim eg this year shavuos was on Monday and Tuesday so we had the entire week off. Then we have 5/6 weeks summer holiday, and camp is shorter, around 2 weeks so it is cheaper and families can do things as well.
The girls have off on Sunday always and the boys start having half day when they are around 8/9, then full day mesivta age.
It’s good.

Family time
June 25, 2021 1:56 pm

I would rather have school on Sundays so that my kids have consistency and seder. There are days when kids have off and your not available to be with them, so then its really not so amazing. Or let’s say my preschool kids- get yeshiva week, as they are in chabad preschool for non chabad kids, but my older ones do. So we took all our kids on vacation to Florida and it was crazy packed. I realized I much rather have my kids in school with the least possible days. And I take them out for family time when… Read more »

just finished mesivta
June 25, 2021 2:07 pm

I do think that if I was home on Sundays I would be on some sort of “smart phone”

just finished mesivta
June 25, 2021 4:52 pm

if I was home on Sundays I would have been on a phone most of the time
b”h I wasn’t

Chabadfather
June 27, 2021 4:18 am

Wow. So many ideas so many questions so many worries. Well, the question is, how to I get to spend quality time with my children !! The answer is within the question. It’s QUALITY time not QUANTITY time. At times we spend 25-30 min having a heart to heart talk with our 10 or 12 year old son or daughter can be so powerful. That can suffice for what many think I need 7-8 hours or a Disney World vacation spending 100’s of dollars. Spending true quality time with a child can be done daily weekly etc. it’s not how… Read more »

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