Remembering My Unforgotten Classmate

By Eli Sanderson for COLlive.com

Lag BaOmer is a collective day of celebration as the Rashbi instructed on the day of his yartzeit. But for some of us, Lag BaOmer is a difficult day. This year’s Lag BaOmer is the 10th yartzeit of our dear friend and classmate, Nosson Deitsch OBM – Hatomim Nosson Noteh ben Zalman Yuda.

It’s a tough balance to juggle on how to commemorate today but one thing we can all agree on, Nosson wanted us to be a better friend and a better person. I’ll never forget Nosson and for me, Lag BaOmer will forever be his day.

Below are a few remarks I shared 8 years ago on his yartzeit at Nosson’s Shul in Crown Heights. My writing 8 years later would probably be better but the feelings are still the same:

Nosson’s yartzeit falls out during the weeks of Kedoshim and Emor. Appropriately, here we are, gathered to speak about Nosson – Kedoshim Emor.

When I heard the news on that day, I had just landed in Atlanta from a visit to New York. Of course, as Nosson’s best friend (just like everyone was), I got right back on a plane to be here. The next day, we, his friends, gathered and shared the same feeling over and over again: We each felt that he was our closest friend, someone who really knew how to listen and even better how to respond.

There’s a story told: Many years ago, a king and his son who crossed the hot desert. Soon the prince fell ill, dehydrated from the journey and badly in need of water. The servants all offered ideas of where to go for water but the king was not interested. He didn’t want them to race their camels to a nearby town or to squeeze the juice out of the fruit they had along. He didn’t want them to pay forty bucks for a bottle of pure voss water at the highway gas station.

Instead, the king ordered a well dug right in that spot, with a sign to identify it posted nearby. “Right now,” the king explained to his son, “we can find water quickly and easily. “But maybe one day—maybe many years’ from now—you’ll be traveling here again. Maybe you will be alone, without the power and privilege that we have now. Then, you will still have this well to quench your thirst. And if it is covered over? This signpost will remind you of where to dig and you will eventually find the lifesaving water.

In this week’s Parsha, the first posuk in today’s chitas- the Torah lists all of the Mikraei Kodesh- yomim tovim that contain powers such as Freedom on Pesach or Forgiveness on Yom Kippur. But seriously: In this day and place, can we afford to wait until the that happens once a year to taste the freedom we need every day?

So we think of the prince in the desert and his thirst for water.

The Rebbeim explain that Mikraei Kodesh means “callings of holiness”—like a well is filled with water, these times are actually filled with certain powers. Whether we are princes or servants; whether we are traveling with the king or walking alone, as long as we find the well, we can drink and drink…

On Pesach, we can stop and internalize freedom for the entire year. On Chanuka, we can draw in light and clarity for the months and year ahead. And on Lag Baomer, the essential theme is ahavas yisrael – which Nosson was all about.

Nosson passed away on Lag Baomer. On a day that was already—and will always be—filled with extra joy, weddings and live music, a full-on celebration.

Knowing Nosson, he had his way with G-d. If what happened is all part of His master plan – something we can’t understand – Nosson so to speak had one-up on G-d. Nosson made sure that the day he left this World, was on a day we would all, so to speak, celebrate.

It wasn’t enough for Nosson to be remembered. He also wanted to be a reminder—to be a Mikra Kodesh, a day of holiness that will make us improve our friendships, liveliness and passion-to-act.

When it comes to being a better friend to each other, Nosson will always be our well in the desert, and Lag Ba’omer will always be our sign-post.

We are each one of a thousand people who thought of Nosson as his closest friend. Now it’s our turn to dig, and become that friend to a thousand others.

For our age-group, Lag Baomer will always be the day of how to be more like Nosson Deitsch.

L’chaim!

VIDEO: We will never let you go