Living a Lie?
Compromise. A word we use to reconcile two opposites and find a comfortable medium. But in the end are we only fooling ourselves? The Avner Institute presents the Rebbe’s stern letter to a member of a growing synagogue and a startling audience with Rabbi Yechezkel Besser, ob”m, Rav of Congregation Yisroel Chaim in NYC and member of the Agudas Yisroel Presidium – both emphasizing the need for pure Jewish education and observance and the dangerous contradictions that result – skepticism and dilution of Torah values — when tempering faith with secular thought.
In loving memory of Hadassah Lebovic A”h
“A Decisive Effect on Adulthood”
By the Grace of G-d
20 Menachem Av 5718
Brooklyn, NY
Greeting and Blessing:
This is to acknowledge your letter of July 3rd.
I was very gratified to read of the great strides that have been made in your community towards strengthening true Torah Yiddishkeit. At all times, efforts to strengthen our traditional faith had a priority claim on public-minded individuals; in our times such efforts are simply a vital necessity, especially in communities where there is an inadequacy of Torah institutions.
Moreover, efforts in the field of Kosher education are truly rewarding, because the accomplishments are lasting and cumulative. For every influence during the receptive and formative years of growing children and youths has a decisive effect on adulthood, as in the example of a seed or seedling, where even a slight defect, if not corrected, might irreparably damage the grown tree and its fruit for generations.
Utter Truth
I would also like to emphasize, what is indeed self-evident, that inasmuch as the Torah and mitzvoth are the Truth, as the Torah is called “Torah Emeth,” and as our Rabbis have also said, “There is no truth but the Torah (Jerusalmi Rosh Hashanah, 3:8), there can be no room here for compromise and half-truths. For compromise and truth are absolutely contradictory.
Moreover, experience has long disproved the fallacy, perhaps well-meant, but quite misguided, that if you tell youths and adolescents the whole truth about the Torah and mitzvoth, they will be frightened away from Yiddishkeit. The contrary is true, for, give a lad or girl the whole truth about Yiddishkeit, they will accept it enthusiastically; dilute it – and you arouse their mistrust and antagonism.
Similarly in the case of adults who, for one reason or another, are as yet not straightened out on the question of the Torah and mitzvoth, they too will be impressed only by the feeling of awareness of the whole truth, while they will view with suspicion and derision any effort to dish the truth out to them in “palatable” pills which they could swallow in the estimation of those who would be presumptuous to think for them and judge their capacities.
In education, above all, gaining the child’s confidence is the teacher’s primary objective. The child is quick to detect the teacher’s sincerity, and sooner or later he will also find out whether or not he has been deceived by his teacher, the matter what the motivation was. Should the child lose confidence in the teacher for teaching him only half-truths, he will reject the whole.
On the occasion of Rosh Hoshanah, the beginning of the New Year, may it bring true happiness to all our people, when we all pray “For Thou, O G-d, art Truth, and Thy Word, O our King, is Truth and endureth forever,” may every one of us resolve to spread the Truth, through the dissemination of Torath-Emeth, and make it a living truth in everyday life.
In the merit of this the Almighty will surely inscribe each and every one of the workers for Torah-true Yiddishkeit, in the midst of all our people, to a truly happy and prosperous New Year, materially and spiritually.
With blessing,
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“The Best Time to See the Rebbe”
R’ Yechezkel Besser related:
In 5712 I got a message from the Rebbe that a certain baalas t’shuva, newly Orthodox girl, wanted to leave her parents’ home in order to be able to live a Torah life. However, the Rebbe added, she needed a job to support herself. So I hired her as a secretary in my business.
After two or three months, my business partner approached me and said, “I need a favor from you.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“Tonight I have an appointment with the Lubavitcher Rebbe,” the man explained. “The Rebbe’s secretary arranged it. I need to know what I should do. Would you come with me?”
I agreed to join him, and we arranged that he come to my house in Crown Heights after ten. Together, we would go to yechidus, a private audience, at eleven.
I waited. And waited. At 10:30 the man came to my house and said, “I’m not going to the Rebbe.”
I was startled. “Why not?”
The man mumbled, “I have a relative in Crown Heights who is sick, and I haven’t seen her in a long time.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked, anxiously.
“She recently underwent an operation to remove a malignant tumor.” The partner sighed, “Now it came back. The doctors are divided in their opinion. One doctor says she can’t be operated on and another one says they must. Since I’m here already, I want to take the opportunity to visit her.”
Obviously, my partner had no idea what yechidus with the Rebbe meant. I exclaimed, “Why, this is the best time to see the Rebbe!”
“It is?”
“Yes. Tell him the problem and consult with him!”
He agreed, and off we went to 770 together.
Pertinent Questions
Our yechidus began at 2:30 in the morning. The Rebbe welcomed us graciously. He asked my partner to sit down. When he asked me to sit, I said, “I don’t sit. I’m a Chassid.”
My partner handed the Rebbe a note with the relative’s name on it. As the Rebbe read the note, his cheerful face instantly changed to seriousness. I noticed the change and that is when I realized that he was indeed a Rebbe!
Then my partner gave his relative’s history, and the Rebbe asked a few questions.
He suddenly asked in Yiddish, “Is she religious?”
“No.”
“Does she herself know what her situation is?”
“I don’t know.”
The Rebbe continued sternly, “She should commit to doing something that will be to her benefit.”
“Of course, if it’s not difficult.”
The Rebbe leaned forward. “Like lighting Shabbos candles.”
My partner mumbled, staring at the floor, “I am sure she lights candles.”
The Rebbe gasped, “Then how can you say that a Jewish woman knows nothing about Judaism?”
My partner grimaced in discomfort. “But I don’t know to what extent.”
“Try to get her to give some coins to tzedaka before she lights Shabbos candles,” the Rebbe urged,
The yechidus lasted more than two hours. The Rebbe asked my partner whether he had children and what chinuch, Jewish education, they received. He spoke about this at length.
When my partner answered, “I have a little boy,” the Rebbe urged him to send him to yeshiva when he got older.
“I understand the Rebbe’s position,” my partner said, even more uncomfortably. “But I did want to send him to college so he would be educated.”
The Rebbe gazed at him with laser-like focus. “Tell me, you don’t want him to marry a gentile, correct?”
My partner shook his head in agreement.
The Rebbe explained with cold logic, “He will go to college and find a girl that he likes. Why shouldn’t he marry her?”
My partner nodded in agreement.
The Rebbe said, “You need to think about that.” And he went on to talk about this at length.
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