On the Yartzeit of My Wife, Henya Federman

By Rabbi Asher Federman, Chabad Shliach to the Virgin Islands
In tribute to his wife Henya A”H whose third Yartzeit is on 17 Shvat – February 4.

It was our first Chanukah on the island, where Henya, myself and our little Moussia set out on our life’s mission – to raise the spirit of our local Jewish residents and its many visitors. We decided the time had come for us to make our first big media splash, a large Chanukah party, and finally to present ourselves to the public with a press release in the Virgin Islands Daily News. To our great disappointment, the editor showed no interest in our Chanukah activities, nor in the establishment of our organization, and decidedly turned us down.

Not getting the publicity we had planned for, we nonetheless continued going about our Shlichus (mission) business: setting up Menorahs in various hotels, stationing Bochurim – whom we brought to assist us – at the cruise ports, and preparing for our local party.

We were expecting thirty people – Jews whom we had met in the previous six months – to join us for the local Chanukah event (not bad for a first celebration).

The evening prior, while affixing the bulbs of our large Menorah at the Wyndham Sugar Bay Resort, we discovered that the hotel was owned by a Jewish family who was visiting from the states, along with close to fifty family members and friends. They all seemed so excited to learn of Chabad’s new presence and our sharing Yiddishe warmth with our fledgling local community.

We invited them to join us for the party the following evening. They all assured us that they would attend with bells and whistles and invite others to join as well.

Wow, we thought… This is incredible… now we will host an impressive eighty guests at our first gathering!

We diligently prepared a large rented hall with eighty seats and now feeling oh so optimistic, we added room for overflow…

As the event began, people started to slowly trickle in 10, 12, 18… The clock was ticking and we were waiting… praying… for the fleet of taxis to arrive with our visiting crowd…

They never showed up. In retrospect a situation all too familiar for many new Shluchim…

As a young and green rookie, not yet confident or groomed to channel the uneasy feelings into a warm and more intimate setting, I was devastated and embarrassed. What a disaster! A huge and beautifully set room, with new local faces, and an expectancy I had confidently shared with our new friends – And now the hall was empty… total Failure!

“Poor Rabbi and Rebbetzin”, “pie in the sky”, “that was awkward”, “will they really succeed on an island so small?” were some of the thoughts my imagination attributed to our few fellow guests…

Driving home, I shared my dismay and embarrassment with my wife, Henya. I sensed in her a bit of disappointment as well, but she was still content. Her spirit was upbeat and undeterred.

Henya, the true unabashed chassid that she was, looked at me with resolve and said, “Asher, did we do anything wrong? Were we not supposed to set up for the expectation that the rest of the crowd would show up? Anan poalei d’yemama anan! Our job is to bring the warmth of Torah and Mitzvot to every Jew. After every event, we owe no one but Hashem and the Rebbe an accounting… And we did our job. We should be happy.”

Sensing my crushed spirit, Henya continued, “you know what, the Moinion family didn’t make it to us, so tomorrow let’s bring a party to them, in their hotel!”

Without wasting any time, Henya lovingly tucked Moussia into her crib, sat by the computer and created a beautiful flyer for a grand Menorah lighting the next night at the Wyndham Sugar Bay… At about 12am I set out to the hotel to place the flyers in the lobby.

I approached the front desk where a Tunisian Muslim fellow was on shift. I began explaining that this week is the Holiday of Chanukah, pointed out the adjacent Menorah and shared that the owners were a Jewish family and how tomorrow we will be having a big celebration in the lobby in their honor…

To my surprise it turned out that this Muslim fellow was a newly hired GM who was delighted at the opportunity of impressing his Jewish employer… “sure” he said, “that would be wonderful! Please let me know how we can help make this a most successful event. Once things are quieter, I will walk through the entire hotel, place flyers in visible areas and slip an invite under each and every guest room in the hotel!” (Not quite the usual protocol for hotel events 🙂

By now my heart was a bit lighter, I came home and shared with Henya the Divine Providence encounter, and how we might just have the whole hotel join us… “Of course” she smiled “I’m not surprised, Anan poalei d’yemomo, as long as we are complete in our hearts and are doing what we should and can, Hashem will take care of the rest”.

Early the next morning I still needed to piece together one more “small” detail… Get permission from the owners and ensure their schedule would permit them to join 🙂

They were a bit apprehensive about the idea of latkes, doughnuts, music, arts & crafts and a public lighting in their lobby, but hey, the invites were already splashed all over the place so “I guess it’s a go…” The owner did however turn down the honor of lighting the Menorah, allowing for the possibility of disassociating himself from the festivities, should the event not quite pan out to his comfort.

Later that evening, about a half an hour before start time, all was set, the room was quiet and we were waiting in anticipation.

All of a sudden, Mr. Joseph Moinion comes running over to share with us that the head of the Department of Homeland Security – Mr. Michael Chertoff – is coming to the hotel with his family in 45 minutes…

Mr. Chertoff, who is Jewish, had lit the National Menorah the night before in Washington DC with Rabbi Shemtov, the Chabad rabbi at the Capital…

Wow, I thought to myself. This is incredible… A member of the US President’s cabinet! We will invite him to light the Menorah as soon as he arrives, right here in the lobby, and it will be an incredible Kiddush Hashem – sanctification of G-d’s name!

By the time secret service had finished sweeping the area, word got around and the lobby was packed with well over one hundred and fifty people, waiting for the lighting… Mr. Chertoff, his wife Meryl and their 2 children walked through the lobby doors and could not believe their eyes…

Mr. Chertoff happily agreed to light the Menorah… Everyone in the room was elated and honored to be present, and felt so proud of their Judaism…

And… the next morning… prominently displayed on the front page of the Virgin Islands Daily News was the headline “Secretary of Home Land Security visits US Virgin Islands” with a beautiful picture of the secretary kindling the Menorah at the event set up by Chabad next to the new Chabad Rabbi.

And there we had our first public introduction to the Virgin Islands…

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When reflecting upon this story and the chain of events, of course I realize the importance of being resolute and focused on doing what only we can, but here lies yet a deeper lesson…

What we thought was a great disappointment turned out to be a tremendous blessing. Had the family joined our local party, Henya would not have encouraged us to be undeterred and increase our activities… The party at the Wyndham Hotel would never have happened and we would not have had this kind of prestigious exposure and public welcome to the Virgin Islands…

The following day the daily news ran another full story about Chabad and our vision for the island. The writer turned out to be a young Jewish man with whom we developed a close friendship and is today married with a beautiful Jewish family as a result of the encounter…

He wrote for a number of years thereafter for the Daily News and would make sure to always share the upcoming Jewish Holidays and include our events…

A result of Geon Yaakov, der Shtultz fun a Shlucha, unbreakable and inherent optimism, devotion to our mission and bitachon in our Meshaleiach!