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Things to Avoid on a Shidduch Date

Shidduchim SOS: A mother of children shares 4 suggestions for singles on what not to do while on a shidduch date. Full Story

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t everyone
July 16, 2013 1:49 pm

#26 #28
youre hillarious!
#33 preparing a sicha is genious…i think basi legani would be amazing too only it might scare her away on a first…

to 26
July 14, 2013 5:55 pm

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what to wear??
June 25, 2013 5:36 pm

How can I know what should I wear on a date???
Some bochurim expect the girls to wear shabbos clothes but some are expecting the girls to wear regular clothes…
What is more appropriate?

Don't discuss your medical history?!
May 20, 2013 11:19 pm

“Don’t discuss your medical history”

I disagree. How can you marry someone without telling them your medical history?

PREPARE A RELEVANT SICHA
May 20, 2013 4:28 pm

WHEN I DATED MY WIFE I PREPARED A TIMELY SICHA TO SAY OVER EACH TIME – JUST FOR SOME QUALITY TIME. AND IT FILLS IN SOME OF THE GAP. HEY CRAZYER THINGS WERE DONE.

This article was right on target
May 19, 2013 2:09 pm

A few more tips for the serious,
who are looking forward to “A Binyan Adei Ad”!!!

Please don’t overdo the first few dates,
A first date shouldn’t be more then 2 to 3 hours.
Please pick her up on time.
No smoking please.

D'oh!
May 19, 2013 3:27 am

All this time I thought it was my personality that was repelling em. Turns out, I just needed to stop flossing at the table and tweeting about it.

Im Crying from laughter...
May 19, 2013 1:25 am

#26 that was so Hilarious! I cant stop laughing 🙂 & #27 well said, your right, Relationships do take courage and work.

I wish shidduchim were more like history
May 18, 2013 8:39 am

so many dates to remember!

to everyone!
May 17, 2013 9:31 pm

Most bochurim who are dating can’t get into a bar.

Hahaha
May 17, 2013 6:36 pm

I laughed hard as I read this. This is ridiculous if your child doesn’t know proper etiquette he or she should not be dating. So yes all the way to #22. And #26 hilarious. If life were only about looks and money life would be simpler ahhhh but its not. Relationships take courage and work. Willingness to work on it and keep the bond strong.

Yossel
May 17, 2013 3:58 pm

NOs: 1. “Last night I finally had the dream I’ve always wanted; I jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge and went to Gan Eden!” 2. “My psychiatrist was very positive about my being able to start dating again! He gave me a new med that works really well on most days…” 3. “I’m looking for a girl who doesn’t mind getting a job and working full time. Better her than me!” DEFINITE YESs: 1. Hold on, I’m calling my Broker. He just texted me that my stock just jumped $3 million in value…” 2. (when arranging the date): Should I take… Read more »

where is the pic taken?
May 17, 2013 3:19 pm

BH
BSD

Hashem indeed performs miracles in matching people to their original half…
How about everyone acting and being as they would like to be thought of and and be treated like…it matters not where you are or what you are doing…sunny day or rainy day..etc etc
PS where is the lace in the pic…wife and I want to go shidduch spotting…thanx

Agree with 22
May 17, 2013 2:55 pm

Act like yourself. There is no need for rules

Generation Gap
May 17, 2013 1:18 pm

It’s so sad that these things have to be said.
OTOH Since it has to be said, thank you for saying it.

two points
May 17, 2013 12:27 pm

1. If someone dosent have the common sense to figure out these things then I’m not sure he belongs dating. I for one would keep both my daughters far from him.

2. As for rules I think Terry Roberts put it well “when it comes to dating, the only rule is: no rules. And even that is negotiable ” why should we make our kids all nervous.

In short use the gift god gave u. Your sense of judgment

att authour
May 17, 2013 11:38 am

what do you say about sharing phone numbers before beginning to date? many boys ask for it for convenient purposes, so he can text when he arrives..etc. What’s your take?

To number 8
May 17, 2013 11:22 am

Bringing up texting is something that is relevant because people do it. She is saying, don’t do it, it’s not appropriate or mentshlich for a date.

very nice
May 17, 2013 11:12 am

very nice said, I am planning to share it with my daughter, thanks you

#12
May 17, 2013 10:29 am

A Date is to be spent with your date not some one sitting on the next table.
if you know them then after make up a time to speak to each other not in the middle of a date!!!
your date might feel uncomfortable or shy or nervous that the whole world will know who she went out with!

#5 No Phones at all!!!
May 17, 2013 10:26 am

you should be comfortable enough with your date that you shouldn’t need to use the phone to occupy yourselves. You should just be able to describe them and then your date will understand!

Avoid
May 17, 2013 10:03 am

No burping either!

Number 12
May 17, 2013 9:13 am

Im confused, doesnt sound like a very pleasant dating seen for the girl. Nice that u ended up married anyway.

Disagree with 12
May 17, 2013 2:20 am

Dating is serious! and what do you mean “over her objection”?!

NO TEXTING!!
May 17, 2013 1:41 am

seriously why do so many guys check their phones on dates.. it’s really inappropriate and gets on my nerves.

DON'T BE SUCH A M'FUNICK & HAVE FUN
May 17, 2013 12:46 am

TO THE GUYS: WHEN I DATED MY WIFE I HAD AN INTERESTING CONVERSATION WITH THE GUY AT THE NEXT TABLE,OVER HER OBJECTION, BUT INCLUDED HER OPINION AND HAD FUN WITH IT.

AS LONG AS YOU CAN SHEAR YOUR TEXT OR SAY EXCUSE ME BUT THIS IS ABOUT… IE INCLUDE HER IN WHATS GOING ON = OK.

Agree with 10
May 17, 2013 12:29 am

if it’s not a “pick-up” scene, it should be fine.

Though I do it
May 16, 2013 11:47 pm

Though I do it, I agree with number 1. I’m a chassidishe guy and yet go to Hotel bars. I thought it was weird. It’s good to see someone who shares the same understanding. I do think though that some bars aren’t so bad. The ones that are less “clubby” and the ones that are more “elegant” are in my opinion not inappropriate. (The peninsula being clubby vs. Ritz)

770 bochur
May 16, 2013 11:38 pm

i wish you wouldn’t have used that photo and place, its one of those places where i used to be able to rely on not bumping into anyone :/

These all seem to be pretty obvious
May 16, 2013 11:02 pm

Is it not common sense that you don’t text or floss on a date? You aren’t married to this person, (although you very well could be that’s the reason why you’re on the date, right?), and the decorum and conduct that you display on a date in a semi-public place will differ greatly from that of a family setting. Unless there are that many singles doing these things with such regularity, I really don’t understand the tone of the writer. I’m not saying it isn’t worth her time to say this stuff, it just seems superfluous.

"kids"
May 16, 2013 11:01 pm

I still think the best dating advice is, if you still think of them as “kids” they may not be ready.

mnemonic
May 16, 2013 11:00 pm

mnemonic implies that it helps people remember your advice. This advice, while good, spells “ODCU”

phone
May 16, 2013 10:40 pm

Is it appropriate to use ur phone to share something? Like photos or articles..etc?

DON'T DO THIS I TRIED IT AND IT FAILS
May 16, 2013 10:28 pm

don’t text your date

last tip doesnt apply
May 16, 2013 9:46 pm

lubavitchers should go on dates to restaurants anyways.

Some additions to your list:
May 16, 2013 5:41 pm

1) Using a straw/floss stick to floss your teeth.
2) Release gas.

be careful where you go
May 16, 2013 5:38 pm

Chassidishe guys who would never step foot into a bar take their dates to hotel bars. Just because they can’t think of any other place besides a hotel doesn’t make a hotel bar an appropriate place. Or going for long drives or walks through country or very quiet areas.

I’m speaking from experience. It’s easy to get carried away in conversation and not even realise where you are but this could be yichud

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