The brutal murder of 8-year-old Leiby Kletzky continues to break New York’s heart. Shocking details of his death have brought home the fears of many parents about raising kids in the city.
Jane Ridley of the New York Daily News convened a group of residents with young children and grandchildren to explore the impact of the tragedy.
Among them was Bronya Shaffer, a lecturer and kallah teacher of Crown Heights, Brooklyn, and mother of 10 children, aged 20 to 40, and 19 grandchildren between 4 weeks and 15 years old.
Question: What, if anything, have you discussed with your family about the murder?
Bronya Shaffer: “I have, of course, been discussing it a great deal within the Hasidic community and with my siblings who have young children and my own children who have young children. No matter how removed one is from the actual child, for a parent to hear about a missing or murdered child, it is a nightmare.
“That [the accused killer] was someone who resembled one of ours — one of us who seemed to be someone familiar to this child — was especially horrendous for members of the Orthodox and Hasidic community. That was probably the single most prominent emerging fear. And it is going to certainly alter the way in which we teach children about safety.”
Have any of you changed your kids’ behavior since the murder?
Mrs. Shaffer: “After the initial response of: “Oh my God, who can you trust?” we need to settle down to teaching our children how to be trusting but also to be safe. When I was growing up and raising my older children, there was a much more trusting environment because there was much less awareness.
“The same way we were trusting of bikes without helmets and children in cars without seat belts. So it really wasn’t because it’s any worse now. I think Leiby’s murder is a pivotal moment n history with raising children. I think it’s when we really have to be very careful about what we impart for children.
“Certainly, we never should impart fear, panic and anxiety, but be very clear, just as we are about safety regulations over crossing the street and wearing seat belts and all of that.”
is a voice of reason and of calm and a voice of understanding and compassion when it comes to tragic situations. Even before her own personal family tragedy she and her husband, o”h, helped people with the most difficult personal situations. As a shlucha she helped lots of shluchos with personal problems in a wonderful gentle way and never making us feel bad. I hope she gives more classes for shluchos online.
Even before I read the article, I knew that you would bring a calm and thoughtful presence to a horrendous situation. Thank you.
btw he is 9
I attended your classes at Machon Chana and the class on anger management litareally changed my whole family atmoshphere. I attended the programs you made and I’m a very great admirer of you, especially how dignified and respectible you are always. Thank you.
Chanchi S.
i’ll sign my name too….Bronya, you make me proud….keep it up…and may you blessed with naches from your family.
Your occasional Shabbos coffee companion, Fay
major YASHER KOACH to Bronya
well said and on the mark as usual.
-Rishe
I’m grateful to have someone like Bronya in our community, a point of light in the darkness around us, and an inspiration for us all.
A Concerned Professional
Bronya Shaffer undid the Crown Heights rug which held the secrets of abuse and molestation of children with the programs that she brought into crown heights with frum professional experts. I attended a class for parents where she taught about basic safety for children and how we parents must talk to our kids. I read things about it before but her presentation was very thorough and her manner was very positive and aidel and dignified and even though speaking about ‘those kinds of inyonim’ it was done in the most aidel and tznius way and still very clear and practical.… Read more »
Just letting you know that most people who commit crimes against children are TRUSTED people, not tzedakah collectors and people that you call weird.
As someone who worked with child victims of such crimes, the most common reason they are fearful to go to the police is that the perpetrator is often a well respected person in the community.
We have to protect our children fully. That doesn’t mean that we have to be less welcoming to people that aren’t like us, something I so love about our community.
your always full of wisdom and inspiration for us all!
Please lets dont kick the can down the road,leave that for washington politics on a debt ceiling.we are talking here of something such a magnitude that chidren must be walked with others and teach them not to ask strangers anything. avoid traps,and avoid strangers in a big city. I live in Portland,Oregon a great place to raise kids. People here are friendly and relax and calm. The transportation system is number one in the country. Intell is building,and hiring,and Kaiser is building for 2 years more a hospital in Hillsboroug, Oregon.Oregone state is 1.6 million in the state,and much better… Read more »
She’ll be stifled, for sure by the principals of our schools who are too afraid to talk about anything controvershal openly; she should give classes and lectures t o parents, not in the clasrooms and also to teenagers . They trust her and will listen to her.
there is such a strong need for talks in our school systems. in yeshivos – specifically. we’ve been sweeping things under the carpet for too long. get bronya into the classrooms!!
Usually every community has its own “weird people or tzedaka beggars hanging around”. They could be sleeping “terrorists” against kids – just waiting for the “private” moment when they can do damage. Personally, these long-standing weird people should be sent to daven at a “special needs” organization and not be ALLOWED, I say not be allowed to loiter in respectable upstanding shuls. I’m sorry, but hafatzos mayanos in any shtiebel or shul should be practised wisely to people who need it and will benefit from it, wholeheartedly.
Bronya, you are a true inspiration. Thank you so much for everything that you do.
i know, i trust what bronya says, i wish she would give a parenting class, i respect her
Bronya Shaffer just HAS it! she is with it, informative and so on the mark. she’s been talking about abuse when no one else did. she is a real role lmodel to me and others. down to earth, practical and a pleasure to talk to. kol hakovod bronya!
one can do as one wants,but as an educator inour community,Pleas Bronya,help us -this speaks louder than all our classes and aachos hatmimim programs