Community news website COLlive.com presents episode 2 of a video series titled Gett Abuse, offering a perspective based on halacha and hashkafa about spouses who refuse to get divorced according to Jewish law.
The series was created at the request of leading Chabad rabbonim from around North America and other poskim and dayanim.
They asked to raise public awareness to this issue that has been keeping women (and even men) “chained” and unable to move on with their lives after separation and civil divorce.
Episode one, featuring Rabbi YY Jacobson and Rabbi Avi Kahan, was viewed by thousands live and via replay, and sparked much conversation and about the issue, leading to greater awareness of the cause.
Moderator: Chony Milecki, a resident of Crown Heights who is a Jewish recording artist and music arranger.
Guests of episode 2:
Rabbi Yosef Feigelstock is a Shliach of the Rebbe and Rov of Beit Hakneset Beit Menachem in Buenos Aires and the Chabad community in Argentina. An internationally renowned halachic posek, he is an expert in Gitten and is involved in many sensitive communal matters. He directs a Kashrus agency in South America. As an expert in mikvaos, he authored the sefer Mikvah Kahalacha and has helped build Mikvahs around the world.
Rabbi Avraham Kahan is the Founder and Rosh Beis Din of Beis Din Vaad Hadin V’Horaah and the Rav of Congregation Khal New City. He was raised in the Monsey area and learned in Yeshiva Gedola of Passaic and Yeshivas Brisk. After marriage, he and his wife settled in Yerushalayim where he learned in Kollel Ohel Yesharim (Rav Yitzchock Florinz). Rabbi Kahan received semicha from Rav Zalman Nechemia Goldberg, Rav Akiva Wosner, and Rav Yosek Auker. He learned practical shimush in hora’ah from many esteemed rabbonim.
VIDEO:
This is much needed discussion.
Also very important is BEIS DIN CORRUPTION-
Hearing from many women that Beis Din is biased and often corrupt- especially leaning towards men.
Can we work to have oversight – maybe a 2 teir system-
I think it says that in time of Moshiach the judges /B.D. Will be corrupt
Moshiach Now!
Rabbis need training
They are not skilled in relationships, communication and ABC’s of mental health.
Until that happens,it’s an uphill battle.
I saw it all up close & personal. These examples all sound like two lovely erlich people that just somehow couldn’t get along … Abusers are World Class manipulators – their public image and their behavior behind closed doors can be like night and day. I sincerely feel that all Rabbonim and Mashpiim should be required to take (at least) a one day seminar on abuse and abusers. My dream was that Rabbi Avraham Twerski AH could have organized and spoken. For starters, everyone in a position of influence should read his powerful book ” The Shame Born in Silence.”… Read more »
Doesn’t make sense that halacha should allow one party to decide if the marriage should be terminated or not.
Should not be up to the man to be the one to sign and force a relationship that is nullified and void
Unfortunately Halacha disagrees with you.
He stated last time that these refusers really want to do what’s right and one should tell them to focus on doing the “right thing”
That’s simply not true.
The last thing abusive men care about Is halacha!
The rabbis must study domestic violence before they get involved in cases of abuse.
Abusers should be treated differently according to halacha.
If a man is deemed to be abusive then he should not have the power of signing ANY documents.
Nor be the one to decide when the marriage ends.
This needs much looking into
CH must stop enabling get refusers.
Period.
Disengage with them.
Think about what they are doing to these women.
The comments above about men having the control are utterly ridiculous. All the pressure is put on men. Men are pressured, put in Cherem, excluded from minyanim, taken to court, and often even beaten up. Women get no pressure at all, and can therefore make all the demands they want with impunity.
My ex husband took me to court and was unsuccessful because he lied to the court out of revenge. It’s very sad when men like that actually win and get away with abuse by twisting everything around. This shouldn’t turn into men against woman anyway.
About women against men.
Every article about any kind if abuse in marriage always focuses exclusively on the men.
Perhaps there might in some cases, be a passing reference to how abuse can go both ways, but not usually, and it’s never elaborated on, nor are such examples ever given.
The issue of agunim is one that really troubles me. Women who abuse their power by refusing to accept a get unless they take control of the children and/or property. Thank God the Beit Din in Jerusalem cracked down on such a woman with a weekly fine of NIS 1,250 a week, which was approved by Chief Rabbi Dovid Lau and also received the legal approval of Supreme Court Chief Justice Esther Hayut. After a review of the proceedings and piskei din by the Beis Din HaGadol, a decision was made to impose sanctions and court-ordered restrictions on the recalcitrant… Read more »
Unless you see it two ways from both sides,it sounds like you’re part of the anti woman club.
If you dare to post examples of women being abusive, then you will be accused of hating women.
I’m my opinion, this matter should be treated in a simple way. One spouse wants a gett,that it.marriage over.rabbanim are needed because two people are in a fight and hate each other or one is abusive to the other so the rabbanim have to intervene. This is complete neglect from the rabbanim. The answer that it’s not so simple is wrong and sounds cowardly. The rabbanim are not showing respect to woman or care for abused woman.
Are not showing respect or any concern for men, who are abused by women, who refuse to accept a gett, in order to blackmail the men.
Does anyone know if the Lubavitcher rebbe ever addressed the issue of the differences between husband and wife ?
Many times. In sichos and in igros. For english, you can start with eternal joy volume 3
And what about the parents who don’t give child support, that people is considered abuse too?
Because it is THEIR child – they were one of the partners to create that child – and NOW they simply walk away leaving the other parent to cover all expenses?!?