by a concerned mechanech
The shidduch crisis is something that is on many people’s minds and often discussed here on COLlive.com. But I would like to shine the spotlight on another, equally distressing problem, that is the direct result of the shidduch crisis.
Let’s call it the interim years crisis. This problem unfortunately takes a tremendous toll on our young single adults and their spiritual well-being.
The interim years are those between graduation from Yeshiva or seminary and getting married to build a Jewish home. The gap between these 2 stages in life has grown immensely in recent years and shows no signs of narrowing.
Living in an ‘intervening period’, even while still going out on shidduchim and wanting to get married, leaves our singles in a constant state of instability – no matter how organized their daily routine may be.
The ones who are paying a heavier price for this are the single girls over the single boys.
With boys who concluded the Yeshiva system and are now in the workplace or on Shlichus, there’s still a religious and social environment they take part in. Namely, they have daily minyan, shul and Kiddush on Shabbos day, options of class shiurim to attend and even farbrengens.
A post-seminary girl does not have any of that available.
For the most part, the girls live on their own, especially those whose families live out-of-town. They rent an apartment or basement, go to work in a secular environment, and return home at night with little or no social life.
They are in isolation, lost in a huge community. They generally need to cook for themselves, and find invitations for Shabbos meals. They basically sit and wait for a shidduch to happen and in the meantime, build themselves a ‘life’ and are easily influenced by their immediate social circle. Booking a show on Broadway is easier than organizing a shiur in a basement.
“Get them married!” some people will say. My answer to that is that they aren’t married because of the lack of trying. Singles and their parents spend long hours trying to make things work and hope for the best.
The names of singles that come to mind who show no interest in getting married and seem to be enjoying their uncommitted states, just proves my point about the repercussions of the “interim years.”
Indeed, this void in the young adulthood of Chabad girls (and boys) needs to be filled in the most urgent way. What can be done to remedy the “interim years crisis?”