By: A Mother
In a world where smartphones dominate teenage life, a group of determined parents is proving that saying no is still an option.
This year, at Bnos Menachem’s 9th grade, a groundbreaking initiative took place: a group of mothers united to delay smartphone use for their daughters and create a supportive, phone-free community. In a time when most teens are glued to their screens, these parents prioritized their daughters’ mental health, emotional well-being, and real-life connections.
Remarkably, this wasn’t enforced by the school—it was driven by parents who recognized the power of collective action. Their commitment transformed their daughters’ lives and sparked interest from other communities eager to replicate this success. This movement is reshaping how we approach technology and childhood.
This initiative grew out of MUST—Mothers United to Stall Technology—mothers commit to delaying devices for their children. www.mothersunite4kids.org. MUST helps parents stay strong in their decisions and create a culture where kids don’t feel left out for not having devices too soon.
Now, with their daughters in high school, these mothers have carried the mission forward.
Delaying smartphone use is no easy feat. Teens push back. The pressure is relentless. Parents are labeled overprotective or unrealistic. But these mothers stand firm, knowing the dangers of early smartphone exposure:
Distraction & Addiction: The constant pull of notifications, endless scrolling, and difficulty putting the phone down.
Social Media Pressures: Unrealistic beauty standards and peer comparisons fueled by platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat.
Inappropriate Content & Exposure: Risks like cyberbullying, online predators, and explicit material appearing at younger ages.
These mothers knew that resisting this pressure alone was nearly impossible, but together, they could change the culture.
To make this easier, they created The Club—a supportive community within Bnos Menachem’s 9th grade where girls felt empowered by their choice to delay smartphones. Instead of feeling excluded, they’re part of something bigger. The Club provides social events and fosters an understanding that teens can bond without screens. It’s given these girls the chance to grow with real conversations and fewer digital distractions. It’s also lifted the burden off parents who constantly face the “But everyone else has one!” argument.
This year, The Club successfully operated for 9th grade—a first in a culture where most kids have smartphones long before high school. Now, there’s momentum to extend The Club into 10th grade.
The key to success? More parents joining the movement.
The more families delay smartphones, the easier it is for everyone. The more communities that create phone-free initiatives, the more support parents have. The longer teens stay off social media, the better their mental health, confidence, and relationships.
The success hasn’t gone unnoticed. Other schools are reaching out to learn how they can replicate this in their own communities. Parents are realizing that delaying smartphones is no longer an unrealistic dream—it’s achievable and benefits entire communities.
This isn’t about being anti-technology. It’s about giving kids time to mature before handing them a powerful tool that requires responsibility and self-regulation. It’s about protecting childhood, mental health, and real-life social skills.
If more communities unite to delay smartphones, it will become the new normal. Saying no today means fewer battles tomorrow.
For all parents—especially if MUST has been successful in your class—now is the time to act! Don’t wait for the pressure to build. Gather with fellow class mothers and make the decision today. Create an environment where your children can thrive, free from the constant pull of screens. By working together, you’ll build a supportive, phone-free community that fosters real connections and a healthier, more balanced life.
Give your child the best start for their future. Take control now, and together, we can set a new standard for how teens grow, learn, and connect.
It’s time to rethink when, how, and why we introduce smartphones to our kids. Because sometimes, the greatest gift we can give them is not giving them something—at least, not yet.
Much Chassidishe nachas, and may we merit the immediate arrival of Moshiach, raising our children with true joy and holiness.
It’s a great idea however girls in schools have peer pressure from there friends and feel left out, maybe if schools stopped saying you need phones for attendence it would be better.
I 100% agree
all you organizations, schools, and synagogues who have whatsapp groups and ask jews to join. STOP. DELETE YOUR WHATSAPP. DELETE YOUR WHATSAPP GROUPS. USE a different platform like email. we dont want whatsapp. we dont want facebook. it’s antithetical to Torah to use whatsapp.
schools push the message no phones but phones are needed for attendance, homework assignments, bnos, logging in chesed hours, production. Without whatspapp there’s no way my kid could survive high school. The school no longer emails the parent’s with pivotal information it is all done over the phone. She has to check her school portal every night for assignments, school’s no longer give over the hw assignments during class. I would love to limit screen time but schools make it impossible. Sometimes teachers don’t post assignments until after 8pm forcing girls to constantly check the school app for updates. Wish… Read more »
Your comment is clearly clueless. Schools dont require a phone for attendance. Schools require you give in your phone if you have one. Someone without a phone also gets marked “there” for attendance.
It has nothing to do without schools attendance
in my school we get marked present by through our phones. we must bring them to school. which also forces us to go on our phones first thing in the morning, even for the girls who don’t want to.
I don’t get it. How is a phone more efficient in marking yourself present? Why is it needed? And do you must use a smart phone or can you use a flip phone?
Great idea. Yasha Koach
The schools do not promote or encourage the girls not to have smart phones. They do just the opposite.apps are needed for Achos programs and messages for school programming are all sent through what’s app…..maybe this Can change?
DELETE WHATSAPP
This program sounds wonderfully idealistic. What replacement do you have, and might be offered to keep our children busy? I would love to hear more about that. The kids are super smart, creative, curious, and yes, his parents we all want to have realistic options that are attractive.
What’d they do for the past 5,775 years?
If parents have been giving their high school kids smart phones because otherwise they’ll be bored, then I would think it would be obvious that smartphones are a terrible idea to give them. But you have a good point in that we do need to provide and give our teens outlets to be social in person, and hobby’s to keep busy and productive. As does any human in society.
yes, this is a relevant and good conversation for all of us as parents. thank you for bringing this up
This is insane. Kids can just hang out with each other, that was normal and healthy before the phones turned them into boring and bored automatons. Get your kids reading again! Take them out shopping and sightseeing. Help them develop hobbies. If they’re smart and curious, they will love reading, and be smarter for it. If they’re creative, encourage artistic expression and foster their talents. If they’re neither of the above, get them exercising and socializing. Does any of this really need to be said?
BCM 9th grade is also smart-phone free
Most of the problems listed in this article can be solved with the iPhone filter:
Yes, filters and time limits help, but they don’t solve the real issues. 1. Addiction & Overuse – Teens find ways around limits. Social media and games are designed to keep them hooked. 2. Social Media Pressure – Even without certain apps, teens face FOMO, body image issues, and cyberbullying. 3. Lost Social Skills – Texting replaces real conversations, making face-to-face interactions harder. 4. Unfiltered Content – No filter blocks everything. Teens find ways to access what they’re curious about. 5. Mental Health Risks – Even limited social media use is linked to anxiety, depression, and self-esteem struggles. 6. Constant… Read more »
Apples content filters are easy to get around
Nice idea in theory, but once they have the device the constant arguments about the fine details of the filters or time restrictions begin. In addition to the newfound autonomy by holding such a powerful device (design for adults) in their hands, bring along the prospect of tech savvy kids glbypassing filters and time restrictions.
One has to know that once a teen has a device, they may be open to the entire world in the palm of their hand. Best to push off as long as possible until their brains are mature enough.
If you give in, then use a filter, but better not to give your kids an addictive device that increases social anxiety and forces you to police them.
This is amazing to see, parents coming together for the betterment of their daughters lives. Who can we contact to learn more about what “the club” entails, so we can replicate in our city.
What about the feeling of FOMO among the girls, specially at the end of a year, like ” oh now we can finally have this phone thing, lets see what we missed”
As someone on the other side of The Club initiative, I’d like to share some thoughts. For one, no one is asking the students how they feel about it. It’s enforced by the parents and some girls are feeling very left out by the inability to receive updates, due to not having text. Even some of the parents are starting to realize that it’s just not practical for a high school girl not to have a phone with even just calling, and absolutely nothing else. As per The Club requirements, only out of towners are allowed that privilege. (a phone… Read more »
Your concerns are valid. The safety issue is solvable—a call-only phone is allowed for in-town students. The Florida model was different, but The Club has already adapted to CH and can continue evolving to meet local needs. This isn’t just about filters—it’s about breaking the cycle of constant checking, lost real-life interactions, and the mental toll of being “plugged in.” It’s about reclaiming focus, friendships, and personal growth. Student feedback matters, but some decisions—especially those affecting long-term well-being—aren’t just about preference. Some things must be left to parents, who have the responsibility and experience to make choices in their children’s… Read more »
I understand that the final decision is up to the parent, but it’s the students life as well, and she should be taken into account, or at the very least asked for feedback. And none of the girls are aware the only calling track is allowed for in-towners as well. Is this a new development?
This is the reality written in a paragraph.
Coming from a bnos menachem student as well.
Is there any hope of delay in this high school? Would the school be willing to come out with a statement that this year girls entering high school do not need a smart phone and are encouraged not to have one? Why always do the parents have to initiate?? I for one will be on board and support it. But that’s not enough, school encouragement and strong parent support will see much success in beis rivkah high school as well. Anyone agree with this comment?
…”The longer teens stay off social media, the better their mental health, confidence, and relationships…”. True, true, true. Great oarenting.
Yasher koach to all involved.
We need change!! Highschool for girls should not allow smartphones to be brought to school!! School should provide the same flip phones for all girls. At home if they have a smart phone the parents are the ones to deal with it!!
The mainstream Yeshivas in crown heights do not allow smart phones, most have flip phones. Surprising that bais rivkah allows students to have smart phones .
Smartphones were literally the bane of my personal existence. Ditched it for a dumphone. Life is 10x better. No regrets. Incredible to see the wisdom of digital-detoxing is catching on. BH!