By COLlive reporter
The Edifice, a new book in the Advice for Life series by Dovid Zaklikowski, presents the Rebbe’s teachings on dating, the Jewish wedding, and marriage in a compact, accessible format.
Like the rest of the series, The Edifice combines snippets of wisdom drawn from the Rebbe’s letters and talks with stories. Whimsical drawings created for the book by artist Anita Soble complement the text.
Much of the material is being published here for the first time, including the story of a couple who was set up by the Rebbe:
After meeting, the two decided to marry. In a private audience, Devorah asked for the Rebbe’s blessing. The Rebbe asked, “Do you want to marry him?”
“The Rebbe suggested this young man, and thus, for sure I want to marry him,” she replied.
“Do you want him?” the Rebbe asked again.
“The Rebbe suggested it. Of course, I want to marry him.”
The Rebbe became more serious, “Do you want him?”
Devorah realized that the Rebbe would not be satisfied until she expressed her own preference. “Yes, of course, I want to marry him.”
Only then did the Rebbe shower her with blessings, adding, “Bring [spiritual] light and warmth around you, and it will be light and warm in your home.”
What’s the best preparation for marriage? The section on dating presents the Rebbe’s view: “In marriage, one takes responsibility for another person’s life. It follows that the best preparation for marriage is to develop and expand your ability to give to others.”
The customs associated with the Jewish wedding are explored in-depth, including the ring giving, the bride’s circling of the groom, dancing, and giving extra tzedakah: “Giving charity causes a reciprocal response from G-d: He becomes charitable to us. It follows that on the day of the wedding, when all of G-d’s blessings are needed, it is proper for the future couple, the parents, the grandparents, and the entire family to give additional charity.”
When a chassan asked the Rebbe if he should step on his kallah’s foot under the chupah, the Rebbe told him not to follow this particular custom. Aggressive behavior would not bring submission from a spouse, the Rebbe said. “If you will be the husband you are supposed to be, then your wife will listen to you.”
The book is dedicated to the memory of Baila Friedman, of blessed memory, by the Goldshmid family.
Compact and beautifully designed and illustrated, The Edifice makes a perfect gift. It is available from HasidicArchvies.com with a %20 discount (use COLLIVE) or from Amazon Prime. It is also available here, in bulk.
Sounds like a great book! Who is it mostly geared for? Chassidim, Baalei Tshuvoys? and/or not yet Frum? Or everyone?
What a great gift at my next Gala Dinner.
This book is a great book to introduce the Rebbe’s ideas on marriage. I enjoyed it and purchased it for someone who was totally not frum, and she appreciated the Rebbe’s approach on the crossroads in her life.