By Chani Vogel
I was talking to some high school aged girls one day. I asked about their summer plans. The girls were excited to discuss their itineraries. Mexico, Panama, South Africa, Europe, my jaw dropped! A quick calculation told me that for a total of 6 weeks, (out of the ten week vacation) a set of sisters were costing their parents close to THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS! (What are the girls doing for the other 5 weeks? How much more is THAT costing the parents?) I asked them if they realized, and they said yes, but what could they do?? EVERYONE was going on such programs, and the only girls doing “simple” camps were the so called “nerds” in the grade.
My daughter is only 3 grades away. How can I do tuition, and camp, and live on a regular salary? The girls going to the exotic camp locations were definitely girls who felt privileged, but their parents had regular jobs. How could they afford this?
Then I had my meeting with the tuition committee. I needed a discount. I’ve heard about the nightmare experiences with tuition committees. Some even refer to those meetings as “Jewish Birth Control.” I never was a recipient of that kind of meeting. I was always treated like a mentch.
I thanked the meeting members for their time and understanding, and for not giving me a hard time. The response was somber. You have no idea what we are dealing with. Parents going away on twenty thousand dollar vacations, which they are proud to show off on social media, but when it comes to their child’s chinuch suddenly they are broke. (No one is saying people should not take an occasional break and get away.)
I understood too well, I just had that conversation with a bunch of girls. It is not one high school, it is all the high schools. Thank you Oholei Torah, and Cincinnati for making Yeshiva Kayitz Mandatory. (While I am sure there are other yeshivos doing the same thing, these are the yeshivos in my experience.)
But here is the question. What are we doing? Why are we setting the bar to unattainable heights? How are our children learning budgeting, and mentchlichkeit for when they grow up? (Please don’t get me started on a ten thousand dollar bas mitzvahs, and the useless merch that fills up landfills, and clutters your 12 year old’s bedroom. One girl gave out full size cozy blankets with her name emblazoned on them. What is next, furniture?)
When I see a 12 year old walking on Kingston with her iced latte and her iphone 17 pro max plus, I wonder, did her parents do her a favor that they bought her the latest model Iphone? Is she a highfalutin executive that needs a computer at her fingertips? Is the girl who went to Panama, and Mexico, and Gibraltar going to be able to appreciate her husband’s income when the time comes? What about the high school girl going for a $90 Russian Manicure, because a simple one for $10 wont do. When her parents come to the tuition board for a meeting, they beg for a break. Are our priorities so skewed that we can not see past ourselves, and our need to show off to others how we can flaunt money we don’t have?
There is a famous story about someone who went to the Rebbe for yechidus, he was marrying off his daughter, he wanted to make the wedding in a really fancy hall. At the time, in the 1970s a ten thousand dollar wedding was unheard of. He told the Rebbe his plans, and the Rebbe’s response was, if you can do the same as a donation to tzedaka, you have my brochas. The gvir took out his checkbook and immediately wrote a check for the sum of $10,000. I don’t know if he made the wedding in that expensive place afterwards, but that is a lesson we need to internalize. This is where priorities have to lie.
We need to make paying tuition cooler than going to Greece for a Pesach program. Midwinter vacation does not necessitate a trip to Turks and Caicos, if you are not paying full tuition for said child. When a mother can fight the tuition of a local camp like Emunah, Chai, or United, but then in the second month send her daughter to some exotic destination that her friends can drool about, we have a very serious problem.
Now let me preempt the response that I can hear coming. I do believe I am of reasonable intelligence. Of course there are some girls who need these expensive getaways, and really their mental health hinges on it. But the mere fact that there are so many of these ridiculously expensive trips around, begs to show that the priorities are messed up in ways that are so vast. I refuse to believe that there are 300 girls whose mental health hinges on putting their parents into bankruptcy. I do believe that there are many parents that need to do a serious priority check. Before sending your kid to the travelling camp that EVERYONE is going to, make sure that your tuition is being paid fairly.
For a few years I collected tuition for my local school
The ones who show off the most pay last
But the almono with little kids, paid first & in full
dont even want to go to camp anyway????? then don’t send them to camp!!!!
Go Mrs Vogel!!!
BRHS fan
As a mechanech who works around the clock and earns a chinuch salary as a result of schools being broke, I cannot agree more with you. Sadly and unfortunately, my kids feel extremely deprived because we cannot afford what others, who don’t pay tuition, can. Sad reality….
I can’t stand when teachers complain.
There are many people that work and don’t have off on Chol Hamoed, isru chag, half day off on fast days, summers off. And don’t get half their pay in parsonage so they don’t get all of the government benefits.
Looks like you hate complaining cuz you do
Very nice that a teachers gets vacation but you have to remember that even on that vacation the teacher is still working on preparing lessons or speaking with parents. Teachers work through all of their vacations and dont get paid for all that work. Being a teacher is the most underrated job
Teachers don’t get benefits or a big part of them. Parental leave is symbolic and can get most benefits beside maybe maybe vouchers.
Food stamps? Nah
Vacations during summer? Most likely have to keep working, so no.
401k? Ha! Good joke!
The difference is, most people who work make money.
Wow! I will say that I dont think this is the case for many of the children and families. They can’t afford either, but tuition is not prioritized. Many spend more on camp than on their entire tuition bill for the school year. I want to add that we are also willing to spend money we dont have for therapies and other things that impact our children’s mental health, as much as $300/hour. Our teachers are getting paid a fraction of that to teach a classroom full of children. Tuition must be of utmost importance. We are exposed to a… Read more »
No one’s mental health hinges on expensive getaways.
Educating our children – sons and daughters – to be grateful for modest vacations, and to live within modest means (as debt-free as possible) is a parental obligation.
.. will result in BETTER mental health too. consistenly raising the bar ( and teaching our children that happiness comes from expensive experiences) actually LOWERS their mental health in the long run.
Many times the long Israel vacation or the camp is paid for by the grandparents
And other Jewish communities if the grandparents have money, then that family is required to pay full tuition.
My parents don’t give us money, they’re not offering to pay my kids’ tuition. But they do buy my children extravagant gifts more frequently than I would like, including plane tickets for teenagers to travel with friends. My mashpia said to accept the gifts, the school says pay up the tuition, your kids have all these luxuries you must have the money. We’re not making it through the month. If I ask my parents for money I will get a no if I’m lucky and if I’m not a serious dressing down. So my daughter has a designer backpack, my… Read more »
Thy might not like the school ther going to or don’t think it’s ther problem
If an extended family is going on a vacation or travelling to a family simcha ,they may chip in for the family with less so they arent left out. This doesn’t mean they can pay for everything else.
Nope!
They could give gifts in whatever form they want, it’s absurd that you think that grandparents are somehow tied to kids expenses!
Yes, my parents can technically afford to help with tuition, but don’t. The help they provide is that they want a family yearly vacation together, which I gladly accept. Being frum is 100% a financial sacrifice. Moving to a frum expensive community, private schools, kosher it all adds up. Being judged by our secular family for being constantly in debt because of our lifestyle choices. No I’m not the only one in this BT boat. Sometimes, the only times we could connect with our secular families are on vacation. They might not be comfortable being themselves in a frum neighborhood… Read more »
Imagine if we send kids to public schools, all that burden of cost could be moved to whatever extra curricular studies etc you want!
and dont get me started on kosher food prices…
H’ should help you beyov hanirneh vehanigle. and importantly, soon!
Absolutely fair points that all need to think about.
Thank you for the reality check.
Chinuch of MY child is MY responsibility. Don’t take my word for it. Ask your LOR.
Has Cheder historically been mostly paid for by the wealthy in most of past history?
Cheder was often just for boys and only for primary school when tuition was paid by the wealthy.
Lots have rich grandparents that want to spend time with them vs paying ther tuition
I am sure the wealthy people are paying tuition plus a vacation fee. Yes, it is sad you are struggling, but why should the wealthy become stingy with themselves? The more they spend on themselves, the more likely they are to give tzedaka.
Unfortunately our Rabbonim are busy policing us about the Eruv instead of taking care of real world issues…
Do u expect them to make everyones budget? Stop blaming them for everything. Some things are actually our own issues.
You completely missed the point. It’s not about making budgets, it’s about having proper priorities
“The Rabbonim are too busy paskening halacha, they have no time to restrict everyone’s spending? Unbelievable!”
And so does everything else
They are all important
And at the core of it all is the Yiras Shomayim of listening to the Rov of the Kehilla, and teaching ones children that as well.
It’s the rabbonims job to prevent חלול שבת. It’s not their job to police your tuition.
When a kosher eruv exists for example in Crown Heights (crownheightseruv.com) or any other place in the world that has a eruv, its 100% permitted to carry if you choose to carry. if you choose not to carry its your decision.
everyone can follow what their Rov tells them what is ok and what is not. some eat CHK and some don’t.
Please don’t bully people that carry when a eruv exists.
The eruv was checked by many Rabbonim and is 100% kosher.
firstly you are very good at writing and it was interesting reading this. Secondly good on u for bringing this up. Thirdly what is the solution?
It’s up to schools to decide what’s fair and they are not obligated to accept kids from families whose values don’t align with the school’s values. If the schools are going to implement a policy, they need to give fair warning.
Love this line: We need to make paying tuition cooler than going to Greece for a Pesach program.
So true!!
I have never been an advocate for long distance Seminaries or camps. These are private money making propositions that have nothing to do with learning or chassidishkeit. They are a heavy noose around the parents necks. It is terribly sad that parents have to lose their minds and physical health over these expenses. It is also a terrible Chinuch for the children. In other communities the whole yeshiva goes up to the mountains in the summer and it is part of the tuition. What goes on here in the summer requires another salary. Between housing, regular tuition,food and basic living… Read more »
I agree with thecamps but seminary can and usually is what changes a girl from a highschooler and teenager into a women and that is extremely essential before a girl comes home and starts with the “real world” and shidduchim
They dont prepare you for the real world at all. If anything they take you away from it for better or worse…
The reality is simple: a few families can afford everything, some can stretch, but many do not live lavish lives or go on vacations. These families are often silent—without names, money, or connections. Yet their children are our children too: children who have never experienced the opportunities others so easily share.
Thank you for having the courage to say what so many of us are thinking.
I agree and as a Mechaneches I can tell you they’re not gaining BRuchnius when they’re blinded by taking the most stunning photos to show off or touring the next place. The poor husbands who will have to support such standards in an already impossible to survive place such as Crown Heights. How about Chanukah gelt for your child’s teachers? They get nothing because you’re busy spending it sending your daughter to exotic locations. This will come back to bite you, and re think your priorities. Plus these camps are usually 3 weeks. Is she busy the rest of the… Read more »
How many programs are there available in the US to help keep a 9th, 10th and 11th grader appropriately busy in the summer, especially if they don’t want to be a waitress or a counselor in an overnight camp, or weren’t from the ‘privileged’ ones to get any of those positions.
We need more local programs that are way more affordable.
What about us the middle class that are expected to pay in full and match the highly inflated voucher prices? We suffer the most. The poor get by with donations or a pity card, the rich dont have this problem and us the middle are squeezed between food , rent and tuition. Not every one can produce paperwork for the schools to get the grant or subsidy we need
I’m not talking about theory or comparisons. I lost my job, I’m not eligible for assistance, and right now I can’t even cover basic food or transportation. After rent and tuition, there is nothing left. My child was rejected from camp, and I don’t even know how to tell her because I can’t afford any alternative. This isn’t a pity card—it’s a real crisis, and my mental health is struggling under it. I don’t know how to pay anything at this point even food. Ps. Went to food bank – zero protein zero no chicken, fish or milk or eggs… Read more »
Bh there’s real help available.
You can get food stamps if you no longer have income. WIC if you have kids under five. The community council has a food pantry and they have protein there and if you want to travel there are more options out of crown Heights. There’s also a weekly Friday giveaway at Eshel.
Call the CH or Williamsburg or Boro Park community councils and they will be happy to help you get food bh. Some of these places also have job placement services.
The agudah also has job placements services.
There’s also CSSY until you can get back on your feet.
There’s no need to suffer in silence. Please advocate for yourself and family and get help.
i hear you and i see your brother .. sending you blessings …. i know this cant help ur finances but i hope it helps your mental health which is crucial. love from a fellow jew
Being poor on welfare benifits is less work than lower to middle class with same standard of living
Agree with every point.
So sad and painful to see.
Parents need to grow up and… parent!
Maybe you failed as a parent and now eating the fruits
Stop complaining say no I cannot afford it to your kids
2 Stop looking at what other people are doing
You do what best for you
Let other people do what is best for them
There are better ways to teach kids about financial priorities than saying “we can’t afford it “. If everyone should do what’s good for them, don’t complain if the school makes rules that are good for them but not necessarily for you.
Are you say the rule of tuition?
Yes, schools have the right to reject students whose parents could pay tuition but choose not to. If you disagree with the school maybe the board could hear your case.
Bravo, 1000% agree.
i agree! and you and reggie should collab (iykyk) (or if you don’t check out his last video 🙂
Perhaps the camps can be persuaded by Mandani to lower the prices.
Camps can barely cover the cost with the tuition. Noone donates to camps, they donate to schools. There are no government programs. Entertainment and trips cost a fortune! Plus girls camps need to pay and wine and dine staff, boys camp pay like 300 a summer, and 1 gift at the end. Because going to camp is basically required for boys the camps don’t really need to give them special treatment. Pls don’t ask the camps to lower tuition, they can’t afford to lower it any more than it is now! ( there are a few more expensive camps out… Read more »
literally dont send your kids to camp!!!!!!!! ever! anyone! camp is stupid!
Umm.. Girls camps pay nothing
Your lucky if you get 300
What we are really talking about is a small group of wealthy and influential families. Most girls I know from our community spend their evenings babysitting and their summers working as nannies in bungalow colonies or as local camp counselors for more privileged families—simply to get by.
amazing and very well written .. all your points are spot on … its hard being a parents but harder being a broke parent .. consider saying no to you child .. it will be hard at first but will build resilance and strength and show them value of the things they get .. also a suggestion is suggest they get a summer job and save that money for the next summer so they can have the amazing trip .. also good to save up and anticipate the reward from their savings.
Hey, no hating on Turks & Caicos, please!! 😆
Your points are absolutely spot-on, btw. Thank you for sharing this!
Now about Turks & Caicos, imagine winning the raffle for an all-inclusive vacation!! See Chabad of Turks & Caicos website for details!
I was in high school just 10 years ago. These “exotic” camps didn’t exist.
The “cool thing” was to go and work in a CGI. Sometimes you were lucky and got a group of girls to a Californian CGI, or maybe in Florida. We had fun in a different setting, made a few bucks, and didn’t bankrupt our parents.
Now my sisters want to go to Mexico?
There’s only one thing that I need to add in counter part that it doesn’t justify any of the actions of the families that travel and flaunts their vacations.
But there is credit card points, and many people know how to get them in big quantities. Not saying it’s a smart idea to have 15 credit cards but ppl buy airline tickets and hotels for better rates then paying in cash.
But again, if you tell the school you can’t pay tuition, at least take your vacation private.
No reason to show off your CC points!
a vacation is not only the cost of the airline that you mention maybe they got with miles or points. Those girls will need to pay for car services, lodging, food and attractions …. that adds up more than the ticket!!
They’re paying on Credit card…
The kids come back from vacation and tell the less fortunate kids who may be made to feel like nebs. This is a big part the problem according to the article.
I am a high school girl who goes to traveling camps and I am extremely grateful to my parents. I just wanted to point out that a lot of the girls I go with pay half or pay for flights to and from
great idea thx for bringing this up .. parents make ur children contribute to some of the costs of the trip.
Bravo to your parents who are raising a smart girl with great priorities,, May Hashem bentch them with nachas from you and the rest of your siblings.
<3 Chani Vogel
I make very little, barely enough for food and rent. But my daughter went on an exotic travelling camp adventure, costing thousands of dollars. I could never pay for it. So who paid for it? She did ! Throughout the school year, literally every night, including Friday nights, she babysat, tutored and on Sundays, she gave dance classes. She saved every penny. She ran errands for a local store during her lunch breaks, and she sometimes was a neighbors Mommy’s helper in the mornings. She worked and earned the money to go on this crazy expensive travelling camp, Maybe she… Read more »
very few work that hard like your daughter for that. most suck the blood out of their parents!
We should all show our daughters what this daughter did to earn her exotic travelling camp. We need to tell our daughters, “You want to go to a fancy seminary, a travelling camp, a winter break to the Islands of Greece? EARN THE MONEY FOR IT!” There are no freebies in life. See what this daughter did? You do it too. It will stop the entitlement of the young generation, expecting handouts. Bythe sweat of your brow you shall eat bread!
This needs to be the take away. With your daughters entrepreneurial and budget experiences – she will go far in life!!
I will quote a few lines from the article and then I will respond. “You have no idea what we are dealing with. Parents going away on twenty thousand dollar vacations, which they are proud to show off on social media, but when it comes to their child’s chinuch suddenly they are broke” “We need to make paying tuition cooler than going to Greece for a Pesach program. Midwinter vacation does not necessitate a trip to Turks and Caicos, if you are not paying full tuition for said child.” Response: These are extreamly injustice and even cruel thing to say.… Read more »
It helps if you take cheaper vacations and don’t broadcast them on social media. Teach your kids not to brag about them to their friends. Nobody is saying not to enjoy life at all. They are talking about excesses while claiming poverty.
I totally agree! Btw alot of us girls actually don’t go to thesse camps being that are each about 15 girls max..
Most of us work for shulchim camps or counselors in overnight camps.
I quote from Rabbi Braun on asktherav.com Parents receive special assistance from On High to successfully pay off their tuition obligations. Chazal tell us specifically regarding Torah education that it’s not included in the predetermined amount decreed in the beginning of the year for every individual. In other words, this means that whatever amount is spent on Torah education one receives the full amount in return from Above. Therefore, as the Rebbe has stated, there’s no reason for us to try to spare Him (Hashem) some extra money… He has all the money he needs. Moreover, Gedolei Yisroel have stated… Read more »
We sacrifice a lot but still are barely paying a fraction of our tuition. The schools are not impressed by level of sacrifice. Our current tuition debt is over $200,000.
We don’t send our kids to expensive travel camps, but honestly I can understand why some do. “A poor person travels first class.” Once you’re already $200k in debt, why not be another $5k in debt and give your child an amazing experience? It’s not like the school will express any gratitude if you send to a $2k camp and give them the $3k you saved.
No need to romantize being poor and not be able to pay tuition. School should get smarter on get public funding as much they could get and not put the main burden on parents.
A melamed historically had been on the poor side.
Yes , you could enhance the torah learning with more effort, still
I heard a wise vort from a friend. When your kid comes home and says EVERYONE…. It’s usually 5 or 6 kids.
You never know what’s going on by Yenem. The trick is to tell your kids, that’s not for us.
Also, agree with the credit card points. With the amount of points I get just from paying tuition on my credit card, It’s easy to go away on vacation somewhere with minimal cost.
I Wonder if someone can help me understand how 30 years ago did our parents who made alot less afford it? What was tution in 1990? How did thousands of parents pay then and if they didnt or paid less how did the schools survive? Does anyone have a tution schedule from 30 yrs ago from a school or a yeshiva or a seminary can we compare it against the cost of a lb of chicken back then so its propotional?
Cost of living,rent is too high. Basic jobs dont cut it.
Based on my research on this exact question, I think that there are a few things that changed: 1) In the 70’s and 80’s (not sure about the 90’s), a much larger portion of the Yeshiva’s budgets came from fundraising. The mindset from the schools were not that the parents pay tuition and the school fundraises the deficit, but rather that the school budget is mostly fundraised and parents pay a small portion based on what they can afford. This still works this way in some Chaseedishe communities. 2) The school’s costs were much lower. The chinuch today is at… Read more »
Back in the day Chabad wasn’t that huge in terms of mosdos. Now you can’t have a week without someone wanting to squeeze a dollar from you for this and that cause. Which is good in some way
Firstly the tuition crisis has been around for long. In the 90s there were teacher strikes in the moisdos because there were no funds, and the schools struggled through each day back then as well. Now even if you want to compare numbers for tuition vs inflation, your school back then is nothing near to what it is like now. Where you may have had teachers a principal and a secretary back then, today, for a school to successfully educate children, there is a ton of supporting staff to make sure the education is quality, social and emotional needs are… Read more »
My tuition in Lubavitcher Yeshiva in Ocean Parkway was $500.00 a year. Three years later my health insurance in college was $100.00 a year. Obviously, someone was subsidizing these.
I tell my students that I care about them like my own children. When they asked me why I wear the same few dresses daily, I told them how I want to use my money for tzedaka and having guests. I teach them the hayom Yom that in gashmius we look at those who have less and we are happy with what we have but in ruchnius, torah and mitzvos we look at those who have more than us and try to emulate them.
Let’s be real, Turks & Caicos is definitely expensive, but did you know that Chabad of Turks & Caicos is actually running an incredible raffle for an all-inclusive oceanfront vacation? Imagine that!
https://raffle.jewishtci.com
Is great!
Wow! This is such an awesome raffle!
Thanks for sharing!
Its a new invention, they didn’t exist a mere years ago.
As long as they not patenting themselves as “og chassidish” and another fancy shmenzy chassidish buzzwords that we hear, do watever you afford and gezunteihert
Rich people problems I guess
Dont judge that poor family with a multitude of issues that tags along “as a favor” on a family vacation or two and cannot pay tuition!
OK, I fully agree where it’s going but Camp at the end of the day is a necessity. We will not be speaking about seminary right now but camp camp is very important for your child well-being. It’s very sad. That is a crazy amount to pay some camps to go over and especially the traveling camps are very expensive. It’s not even sometimes paid even for the fear for the flights. The rich parents will keep on sending to those camps. and the poor will have to I guess try their best to get that money and May we… Read more »
I think my kids have a choice they want a phone? Take it!
They have free choice how to live and we have to show love
Thank you for stepping up to put this in an article. It is so true and it really is tzorick tikun! Maybe it will start some movement in the right direction. yasher koach
On point!! There should be a rule for tuition. First child $5,000 each additional $3,000 how can parents afford food and rent with inflated tuition and camp fees. There needs to be a complete overhaul so parents can survive and families can thrive
First and foremost, you have no idea what is going on in each person’s life. Please remember that. Yes there are those that unfortunately allow themselves to have mixed up priorities, and this can obviously be devastating for the children they are raising and at times a challenge for those interacting with them if they feel more privileged than others. Ultimately though you have no idea why someone is going on a Pesach program or travel camp, or how they managed to go, or the positive effect it can have on them. There are unfortunately not many summer options for… Read more »
The problem isn’t as much what people do but the way they publicize it. Conspicuous consumption has become normalized.
B”H
Teach your kids resilience so they don’t have to eat the bread of shame.
Allow them to earn it. It tastes so much better. The other way is shameful and bitter.
It’s the best gift you can give them. Don’t be scared. That’s part of your job in this world ❤️
We’re do you get a manicure for $10
Utica. There’s no manicure for $10
The tuition. Shouldn’t be the parents burden. Theres enough money in nyc to collect. That parents should not have to worry so much about tuition
I have 3 girls. Beis rivkah and one in seminary. I’m $54.000 a year just my girls enough. Start giving parents a break. In Williamsburg tuition is $2000
A year flat.
54k. A year? Just for tuition?
And 2k a year in williamsburg,probably per kid, ?
Very well written and non confrontational article. Chanie much hatzlacha on your writing and in all other area’s of your life
It says ok for parents to tell their children no not every child needs to do or needs to go where their friends are going just because you’re not sending your children on 30,000 dollar holidays makes you a second rate parent or makes your child’s second rate all parents all around the world need to be responsible when it comes to finances and if we’re responsible then we are sending a clear message to our children about financial responsibility
My son started to plant the idea that all his friends are going to this overnight camp so he does need to!
I am very proud to say that I didn’t give in and it’s also a way to teach him no to be swept of what everyone is doing.
It’s not about paying tuition VS going to exotic places It’s about how are we raising our children? To think that this is a normal way of living in their TEEN years? What is left to experience when you are older? You will be looking to travel with your spouse in your newly wed days, but you have already had it all….. Don’t rush your childhood. Let there be diff stages for different ages. Same go for Russian Manicures – it’s horrible seeing 12 year olds walking around with long nails, professionally done. This is what you get for a… Read more »
Ha! Good joke!
It’s a big problem in our community. But what happens when the Joneses are the leaders and role models in the community? The ones that brought us closer and made us frum. That is the example we have. So fancy clothes, expensive simchas, the best camps, multiple vacations a year, eating out, best shaitle, that is our barometer to fit in and not let our kids be othered. We don’t have family to look up to when it comes to having proper Jewish homes so we look to our shluchim, even self-appointed social media shluchim, who lead glamorous lives. Whether… Read more »
Yes it’s important for us all to take a look at our priorities and continually make sure they are aligned in the best way possible. Just keep in mind! You don’t know how/why decisions were made in others home. You only know what you see on the outside, we live in a world of falsehood. There is so much you do not know that is going on in someone else’s home! Many decisions are made with consultation of a Rav/Mashpia, and are being guided with information that we on outside do not have. May all Jewish children be blessed with… Read more »
The problem is that the super wealthy and the middle class or poor are neighbors and go to the same schools/shuls. In the rest of the world, we don’t see up close how the wealthy live. In frum communities it’s not like that… so it’s an unusual and not simple problem
The proximity to wealth has its pros/cons. However, mostly pros. I tell my kids how lucky we are because we are a Jewish community, we have resources to quickly help someone in need vs other communities that just stay within their socioeconomic background. I know that if something bad were to happen, the community would not let me drown. So many don’t have that type of safety net.
With daughters in that age bracket, no family connections to the camps to get my daughters as counselors (they applied but didn’t get in yet, since the spots go to those with connections first), what are high school (10th, 11th grade) girls supposed to do at home for 9-10 weeks? They can’t be counselors at day camps (school doesn’t let, and Shluchim usually don’t supervise properly), and they can’t be counselors in overnight camp (no connections), so they should just walk around Crown Heights drinking iced lattes and wasting time on their cellphones? The alternative is those travel camps, and… Read more »
…
I went to public school and taxes paid for it. What we need are vouchers so our tax dollars pay for tuition.
I don’t know what the goverment asks to learn in school AT MINIMUM that leaders refuse to give in.
So therefore, no money for school. I read once here that ps spend about 33k per kid a year.
The girls are just trying to use the summers to catch up to the boys who travel to every exotic place unearth & see every continent before finishing semicha!
They are all unrealistic & entitled kids & parents are drowning in debt….
Time to change the entire system
You are wrong. God gifted some people with more money not everyone is equal but most of the middle class and wealthy are paying tuition for the kids that’s parents can’t pay there are parent paying $100 a month and parent who do you think covers that shortfall
Greatly written article ! As a teenager myself i only once did a fancy travel camp.Most summers i work and go to regular sleepaway camps.To be honest the freindships and good times was not drasticly different and I truly enjoyed both.Working as a sleepaway counselor built my leadership skills and gave me such a sense of acomplishment when finishing the summer ,witch i did not gain in travel camp. Cool travel camps are great for one time experience but not needed or worth it every year AT ALL.Its time to be on the giving end at this point in our… Read more »
After the miscarriage, my wife lost loads of blood, went into depression and needed several hospitalizations. And that was Purim time. Honestly, pessach wasn’t happening. I took out a cash advance on 4 credit cards, borrowed from a gemach, and asked a few friends to front me some cash. I used it to pay for a pessach program. It was either that or no pessach at all. It will take me a few years to crawl out of debt. So you don’t know what is going on by someone else.
Some parents can afford and do pay full tuition.
If I’m paying full tuition for my daughter in high school, then I also have the right to sent her to regular sleep away camp one month and travel the other.