You and your friends sound like really great people (you should probably give out your name, since I’ll bet, after this article, a lot of girls want to marry you!) But the truth is, my friends and I were a little perplexed by your op-ed.
Because the one thing that you profess to be the desire of each bochur in that discussion, who are all supposedly on varying levels of frumkeit, is the one thing, that, in the experience of me and my friends, makes very little sense.
Because you know that other part of tznius, the one that’s often forgotten? The part about behaving tzniusly? Well, us girls might have improvements to make in the way we dress, but you guys have a lot of work to do in the behavior department.
Specifically, we were discussing how many bochurim, with white shirts, black pants and beards, who were on shlichus, approached us this summer (while we were on shlichus as well) “looking for a good time.”
And no, I do not mean they wanted to learn a sicha together. It was more like… well. I’m sure you can figure it out. Suffice it to say we got out of there fast.
Yeah. Are you as shocked as we were? Bochurim invited us to “hang out” with them. Maybe they thought it would never get out? Maybe they thought that they could get away with it since they’re boys, and in high demand? We’ll never know. (Trust me, we put their names out there.)
But somehow, these “chassidish” looking guys don’t strike me as the type to want tznius girls. Why? Well, they aren’t exactly tznius themselves, although they sure had the whole “bochur look” down.
And it wasn’t just this one isolated incident. This happened multiple times to many different friends of mine throughout the summer, to friends of mine who are obviously frum and chassidish!
These same bochurim will go home, request very tznius maidelach, and get those girls, without anyone ever knowing what they are truly like, despite their chassidish dress.
Do you see the paradox here? Yes, you guys are requesting tznius girls. But guess what: us girls are requesting tznius guys, and I obviously don’t mean in dress.
(As a side point, you’re lucky you don’t have to struggle with tznius. Please don’t pretend to understand or diagnose the girls who do have trouble with this mitzvah.)
So, please remember: we want tznius guys like you want tznius girls. Before you go asking and judging, keep in mind that we’re done with letting you guys off the hook easy.
You want to challenge us to being more tznius, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
And now, you are welcome to accept ours.
Just a Typical Girl