Dear Baal Simcha:
Mazel tov on your wonderful news! It’s a long-awaited simcha and our hearts are filled with joy for this upcoming wonderful simcha in our large family. Each and every one of us is dancing with true, deep and most heartfelt joy. We would just love to dance together with you with our arms intertwined and hugging each other in joy.
Only, there’s a problem. It’s a global problem, one of Hashem’s making and no one’s fault. And our rabbonim and medical advisors have asked – nay, pleaded – that you not bring your simcha to Crown Heights. Not that we don’t want to join in your simcha, but you are travelling with your extended family from a coronovirus hotspot to our community. And G-d knows – we marked lots and lots of family events here in the last few months – too many death events! Who can forget the dread of waking up and wondering whose name we will hear today?
And for that reason, our esteemed rabbonim, together with the Gedaliah Society medical advisers, have time and time again pleaded that our own mishpocha not travel to Crown Heights – not for Gimmel Tamuz, and not for Tishrei, and certainly not for private family functions which anticipates inviting the community to be your guests.
Your simcha – nay, our simcha – will be much celebrated, but if you bring the celebration from a hotspot to Crown Heights, your own parents and aunts and uncles will not be able to attend.
From just a few blocks away, they will not be able to attend because they are a population at risk. Who then are you making this event for?
Yes, you have many friends, but don’t you realize that you put everyone in a difficult spot – the closer the relationship, the harder the spot. An invitation in these times is putting your relatives and friends in conflict.
No doubt you’ve asked your own family doctor and your own mashpia, and you wouldn’t do anything against their advice. But whatever they may advise you, the Crown Heights rabbonim and the Crown Heights medical professionals have posted numerous pleas to PLEASE NOT travel to Crown Heights.
Can you really, in good conscience, ignore that? Can your simcha truly be in the spirit of a Yiddish Simcha mit freliche hertzer if you’re dismissing these pleas?
Let’s make simchas, many, many, many of them, they should be too many to count. And may they truly permeate the very depths of our hearts and souls. And may they be pure, without ever any possibility of bringing the slightest harm to another Yid. May we look back on this time, from a time in the future where we’ll sit together at a bris and bar-mitzvah, a wedding and sheva brochos, and know that it’s wonderful to be together, but those times when we couldn’t, the simcha was not any less, and nothing we did could ever mar the simcha!
Mazel tov again, and again.
Florida made the same plea from New Yorkers before pesach. NO ONE listened! Funny how Crown Heights bans people when it’s conviennent but infects half a state when they run away for pesach. If you showed you were serious during pesach maybe your cries would not fall on deaf ears
It’s ridiculous to think it was crown heights who was responsible for Florida infection, thousands of New Yorkers fled to Florida, many permanently, this is a growing trend as NY taxes are insane
some large statements you making here…
What are you basing your info on? You really generalize and exagerate a lot. “NO ONE” listened? The majority of CH’ers stayed put. Some of those that could afford to get away rented houses in the Orlando area. Others went to their summer homes upstate NY. Moreover, “infects half a state”? Since when has half the state of FL been infected? IMHO, everyone should be allowed to go wherever they please. Use your G-d given brains. If you are sick, stay home. If you are high risk – protect yourself to the best of your ability. The rest of the… Read more »
Very nasty and not science based. Florida Jewish mikvos were very very nasty. We shall not forget that.
whoever wrote this is not accepting and lacks Ahvat Yisrael. this is not what the Rebbe wanted. He wanted HABAD: Hohma,bina,daath (love, peace, and understanding.
Perhaps worth looking at the meaning of chochmah bina and daas
Well said yet we agree with the author
I have seen quite the double standard besides people wont listen because some people think they are smarter than the doctors smarter than the beis din, just this week people from Florida Came up here to hang out and put their kids on the bus with CH kids to go to sleep away camp. Until we work together and all respect the beis din and medical professionals there is a lack of achdus.
let people do what they want. You want to wait until a vaccine comes out?! you can stay hidden away for another 6 months but life has to go back together.
The more people come from out of Crown Heights, the less life can get back together for the older, vulnerable population who have been hiding away at home and only recently started coming out for a bit as COVID has calmed down in CH. You may want to get life back together, but so do vulnerable CH residents. Please consider “getting life back together” for various groups of people, not just younger ones.
people are gonna go in and out regardless, going to the country, going on vacation,going to camp, going to school.
so they should hide anyways in order not contact covid{meaning:go out as little as possible)
so in other other words not only the vulnerable most suffer everyone else has to suffer with them.
what is the saying: since i have to suffer everyone else has to suffer with me.
True we must protect our vulnerable, but if everyone has to stay home and the vulnerable are staying home anyways, then why can’t the vulnerable stay home and let the non vulnerable go out
It’s unreal what’s going on. Who are these Rabbonim officiating at weddings with one side from Florida?
What happens when the side is from crown heights?
Thank you so much for posting this. Everyone needs to just stay where they are. There is a mitzvah to be b’simcha for others, but not if it is going to put others in danger. Thankfully we have the technology to do Zoom chats and Facetimes.
Where should we make our Simchos? What if the Kallah is from Crown Heights? Should there not be weddings? Should the CH family go to a hotspot for their wedding if you don’t want it the other way around.
that is an option…to make the wedding where the chosson is from. or to make it in an outside venue upstate…in a tent. NOT IN CROWN HEIGHTS
Why is that any better? If they make the chasunah where the chossons family is, then after the chassunah when the kallas family returns, they can potentially bring back the virus with them. In fact, it might be worse, because by going to the hotspot, they will be exposed to many more people and the risk is higher, than if the chossons family comes to CH and is tested/quarantined to make sure they aren’t carriers. Even if they do it in a different non-hotspot place (not CH), they will be exposed to the same people, and could bring the virus… Read more »
This hurts. Downright hurts. The tone and the inflection In every word stings. We cried, we prayed and we suffered deep loses. Yet from amidst this chaos we found our other half. We are figuring out how to keep yiddishkit Alive and build another Jewish home despite the challenges. We lived in crown heights for years. The city you see listed is that of our parents who can’t be there with us. Please please don’t publicly attack for wanting a hug from a friend on my wedding day. Nobody expects the at risk community to attend. These celebrations are for… Read more »
Those who attend will spread it to those who do not.
With COVID10, there is no such thing as do what you want without it effecting everybody.
It is very simple, try to understand.
Your wedding dearest kallah is about starting your life together not just about the biggest party you can have. You would not want to start your life together at the expense of others. The party is not your massive step…your relationship and the home you set up together are what is important. Focus on what is important. We are in the middle of a pandemic. People’s lives are at risk. Those who got married with only their nearest and dearest during the war were no less happier in their lives. Do what is right and Hashem will shower you with… Read more »
My first wedding was a dashing affair. Cost $50K+ and all my friends came. The marriage, always strained, lasted 6 years.
My second wedding was, all told, way less than $5k. Only our closest friends came. We’ve been very happily married 10 years.
A wedding is a very important step in life, and good to celebrate with family and friends. But don’t lose sight of what’s most important – a loving relationship with your life partner.
I lost my father to this virus. And now I just heard that a young woman, we know, 20 years old in Crown Heights and in contact with us, has a fresh case of Corona. No one knows where it came from. Please take your hugs elsewhere. Or there can be the kind of hurt that kills. Mazel tov.
Why not take a look at the marriages of huge weddings, and the marriages of the weddings between Pesach and Shavuos of this year. Can you honestly say that the couples’ marriages suffered? So, the huge party bash, which most parents can’t even afford, is not going to make your marriage any happier. In fact, we were hoping that one lesson from this difficult era would be the lessening of bash weddings and bar-mitzvahs. But,more to the point – you want a hug from a friend. Understood. But I’m the friend who you’re inviting, and yes, I want to give… Read more »
Maybe try to advise how to minimize risk once here. 770 seems to be high risk. Tishray is coming. Maybe advise to stay in The mountains?
Based on the pics posted on COL the Siyum Haramban that took place in 770 was basically a “mask-free” event. Do you honestly believe that the virus knows not to spread while one is speaking (keynote) or eating (sitting on the bench alongside someone else)?
The virus is in the air – protect yourself by strengthening your immune system.
If they try to make a Simcha in ch, please don’t publicize it on collive
Really – is that what’s important to you about your simcha – if it’s pictured on COL?!?!
I couldn’t agree more. It’s not an emergency or mandatory or anything else to come to CH to get engaged or married.
People have to congregate somewhere… So if the girl and boy are in ch and their parents in two separate cities, there isn’t any good solution. And we don’t push off marriages
But you don’t have to make a ‘celebrity’ wedding!
And, people, what are we talking about? We’re talking about trying to SAVE LIVES! and the response is, ‘oh but I want a hug at my wedding’? C’MON!
To push off weddings.
If you are engaged getting married is quite An emergency And for some people ch is the only viable option.
it is the only viable option if you MUST have a huge wedding. we are in a pandemic. why is a huge wedding the most important thing? focus on what is important and then there are many options.
How callous and selfish can you be??
Your wedding is not an emergency, but it sure as hell will cause emergencies!
Crown Heights?? Who ever ‘created’ the ‘minhag’ of bash l’chaims??? Who ever could dare to come from out of CH, against all our community’s pleas, and make their party??? And make friends a relatives all in a tizzy because not attending seems like it’s insulting, but attending is against the strong advice of Rabbi Braun and the Gedaliah Society who have both been the beacons of light for us in this terrible darkness??
If you are coming from out of CH to make your simcha, SHAME ON YOU!!
fine i will make it in florida and bring the virus here
it is better to just let it here and no one will bring the virus to ny rather than going to a state that has the virus!
Going elsewhere is your choice. There is a mandatory 14 day quarantine which should be honored when you get back or when Floridians decide to come here for a simcha
wedding’s is forbidden for good,because of the corona virus.
there is barely any covid cases in ch, weddings is still cancelled.
Nobody forbade weddings c”v! But relatives are requested (and being begged, and pleaded with) not to participate
there are barely any cases in CH is because WE LISTENED TO GOOD ADVICE!!
You want to see that change?
Just saying….
All you say is very true…. But you should also be asking the crown heights community to listen and stay put…I’ve heard many people from crown heights leave to Florida and California big hotspots… against the wishes of the Gedaliah society and Dr Rosen….
Everybody in CH should be wearing masks and following all the rules as well…
Of course. But one doesn’t cancel out the other! The people who are going maskless are t eh ones who will s how up at the bar-mitzvah or l’chaim. The people who are concerned are wearing masks. And the author of this is pleading that all measures be taken!
make it in borough park
crown heights does not want you give the business to borough park or Williamsburg halls what does not have any problems
no one should stop your simcha
“No one should stop your simcha” – even at the risk of pikuach nefesh?!
Besides, no one is stopping simchas! just asking relatives should please not come
Weddings do not need guests and dancing. They can be in a neutral town with masks, social distancing and very few people.Starting a life together while seriously risking lives is not right. Ahavas Yisroel has to be stronger than selfish desires. The couple’s lifetime as well as everyone’s lifetime matters more than a few hours of celebration.
Outdoors! Small weddings in a garden! Close relatives & friends, 100 – 200 people, dancing, masks, NO HUGGING. 1 wedding was streamed live on youtube for the relatives who couldnt attend.
100-200 people is small?? Your comment would hold credibility if it included the number less than 50.
This would be easier to buy if the Rabbonim themselves weren’t being mesader kidushin at weddings of OOTers. It would be easier to buy if we didn’t spend our time praising the selflessness of people who open up their basements for these simchos to happen in. It would be easier to buy if there was more than 10 masks in a packed 770 on shabbos.
The lack of integrity and leadership in CH would be astounding if it hadn’t been like that for 25+ years now.
We’re big boys! let’s stop blaming others for “not leading us”
We are talkI have a bout life !! Don’t forger schools aren’t yet reopened yeshivos aren’t yet reopened And more A lot of people are in upstate The Rabonim are right in Israel the government opened the schools . And more placed . Look what happened. Now every thing Going to be close a gain That why people have to be careful. When a simcha is coming up this time if you are making wedding in crown heights your close members of the family that live out of town. Should not come . And people that coming after the summer… Read more »
i love it how people think crown heights is their neighborhood…
everybody forgets its the rebbes shcuna
very unfortunate
we need shluchim in crown heights
what i find shocking is to see people not taking this seriously. we are not talking about the possibility of catching a horrible flu.
WE ARE TALKING ABOUT LIFE!!!!!!!! Haven’t we lost enough precious souls???
Thank you COL for posting! MOSHIACH NOW!!!!!!
Who’s in charge of LIFE? HASHEM! REMEMBER THAT! No one is going to leave this world before their time is up! Rabbi akivas students passed from a plague BUT NOT ALL OF THEM!RELAX!
Now, that’s called considerate! – in these times of uncertainty.
If it isn’t safe for “us” to go into crown heights then why is safe for “them” to leave crown heights every shabbos and come to “us”. Can’t have a double standard. If no one can go in then no one should go out.
This isn’t logical. Half of Crown Heights are now upstate in the country, The Fathers should not travel every week back and forth from Crown Heights and they must stay in Monticello ?! How about all the overnight camps in Pennsylvania – kids from ALL over USA are there together. They should not come home to Crown Heights? If someone makes a Chasuna in Crown Heights siblings cant come? [The ONLY thing that makes sense is to stop the MASS influx of guests from Israel and elsewhere – that perhaps should be put on hold].
Are you saying close relatives shouldn’t come in for the wedding, including parents??
I know someone who got married and did exactly that
Are you saying parents shouldn’t come to their child’s wedding??
Make the wedding where the parents are, wait until they can be there, or they have to miss it
I don’t know if you know how many parents can’t come for weddings to CH because they may not be American citizens……and their children may be getting married without them there.
CHers I don’t see u wearing a mask. If you are so worried let’s see you keeping some rules.
I know of live cases in the community,NOW. Never mind out of towners, why is ANYONE making indoor lchaims, bar mitzvahs, weddings?! Make them outdoors. Or indoors with very strict social distancing. No physical contact. Masks. People say it’s legal to make indoor gatherings now, but that is only with masks and 6 feet distances for all attendees!
Do not do indoor events. Period. Unless you demand masks and distancing and enforc it. Why would anyone want a young couple to start their lives together endangering others?
No one is saying you ‘can’t’ come to CH. What we are saying is that, please, plese, please, please, please….I don’t want my mother to die. I don’t want my grandfather to die. I don’t want to weigh attending a party against my immuno-compromised nephew’s life. Yes, lots of peope are doing lots of stupid things. And lots of illegal things (if you’re coming from FL or Arizona, or a huge number of other states, the law says you have to quarantine IN NEW YORK for fourteen days), and lots of people are doing insensitive things. Do you want to… Read more »
I live in an out of town community in the tri state area and although we all have antibodies, we listened and have refrained from coming to crown heights. You can imagine my feeling when I walked into shul this past shabbos and there were dozens of guests from…
You guessed it, crown heights.
I honestly think that people should stop policing each other and everyone should go where they need/want to. Those who are vulnerable, should be protected and protect themselves.
Whos making sure that the Spanish workers in that store on Kingston’s cousins didn’t come visit from FL? And that the Yoppi buying a doughnut In Gombos is not from NC?
We need to get life back to normal enough with the fear mongering!
The lesson we learned for Covid is not to trust the hospitals in NY as the death rate was exponentially higher than any other infected area.
1) It’s not clear to whom this article is addressed. Are you talking to the few families who wish to make a bit of a larger scale wedding in OT/Razag? The Shluchim who have been making lechaims in CH? Or everyone who doesn’t live in CH but wants to make a Simcha here regardless? Because with the majority of Simchos taking place in CH these days, at least one side actually does live here. And even in the cases where both sets of parents aren’t CH residents, oftentimes their children have been living here for several years. 2) It’s hard… Read more »
My friends daughter had a lchaim. Her grandfather was in florida and her chasans family was in canada. I participated from israel as did the chasans family from canada and the grandfather from florida using zoom. Was beautiful
Do you feel COVID is an unusual and inexplicably deadly or debilitating disease? Do you feel that the more one interacts with other people, the greater the possibility that COVID spreads to someone else, and the greater the possibility at least one more person gets sick or dies? Do you feel that people traveling from one place to another increases the possibility of COVID spread, and the greater the possibility at least one more person gets sick or dies? Do you feel it is possible to get married without many people, without cross-location travel, in an affair style and scale… Read more »
I just read through all these comments and I have come to the conclusion that nobody here can possibly be 100 percent correct. There has been so much loss in our community and people are still suffering from it. For that reason we are saying extra Tehillim every day and going out of our way to do an extra kindness, not just for those people who are suffering but for ourselves as well. On the other hand, there are are people in our community who continue to find joy in this time and make an effort to spread that joy.… Read more »
But with mask use and social distancing.
The big question is why virtually the whole crown heights has abandoned social distancing and mask use
Halacha says to listen to drs who say to use masks especially when in crowded indoor settings (such as simchas).
Halacha should be our guide. No?
Dr. Zelenko: We have a reliable solution 1. Identify high risk patients 2. TREAT EARLY 3. Follow regiment high risk patients with symptoms: Hydroxychloroquine 200mg twice a day for 5 days Azithromycin 500mg once a day for 5 days Zinc sulfate 220mg once a day for 5 days prophylactic regimen for very high risk patients: Hydroxychloroquine 200mg once a day for 5 days, and then 1 pill a week until immunity can be shown or a vaccine becomes available. Zinc Sulfate 220mg once a day for 5 days, and then 1 pill a week until immunity can be shown or… Read more »
Why’s everthing getting mixed into the same kasha? Here’s what’s plain and simple: our rabbonim and CH medical advisers via Gedaliah Society (named after a true tzaddik, b y the way) have PLEADED with people to not travel in and out of CH, and to not come from hotspots to CH. It’s just that simple. Never mind everyone that’s doig everythign wrong – this is simple. So what possible justification can there be for simply dismissing this? It’s not politics, it’s our community’s health! Prescribing a medical regimen here is beside the point. First, let’s, please! listen to those who… Read more »
are you insane?? that regimen is not a cure all and many are harmed by it if they have preexisting conditions for sure. what are you saying? get sick because you can be cured. do you understand that autopsies on covid patients showed blood clots in every organ!!! do you understand that many covid patients get brain damage in varying extents even with only mild symptoms? do you understand that the lung capacity of multitudes of patients is diminished for the rest of their lives?? what are you saying??
My daughter is out of state in a camp. She is then going to come back and be a counselor in CH. She is then to go to Israel for seminary (not holding breathe for that).
Our own CH kids are traveling all over and coming home. So….
Yes, lots of people aren’t complying with the rules. But guess what, lots of Jews all over the world aren’t complying with halocha. Does this mean we go over to that side, and stop keepingkosher??
To excuse doing the wrong thing because others are doing the same or worse doesn’t make the wrong thing right!
wait so if you do a wedding out of town and come back to ch your not spreading the virus?????!!!???
The choson and kalah are Crown Heights residents even before the wedding – they rent the apartment there prior to the wedding. In many cases, they also live there for a full year or more, also paying rent – they not any less Crown Heights residents that anyone else living there. Are you telling them they can’t make their wedding at their place of residence, and in their community? They are not kids – they are adults who have been living there for quite some time, and that’s where their community is. Or are you telling them they can’t invite… Read more »
during the height of the coronavirus epidemic in Crown Heights, a number of Crown Heights families came to stay in our community. Predictably enough, some of them infected some local residents, who ended up having to go to the hospital. After things calmed down in CH, they went back home. No one here is telling CH residents not to come to us. No one is telling our community that they should not host their family – however extended – in our town, or that they should not be coming to shul here. People take proper precautions, those who are afraid… Read more »
Hashem change the wedding plans
Od yeshomo..u’vechuzos Yerushalayim.. Moshiach is coming. The chasanahs will be in the streets of Yerushalayim!
It all boils down to this: We can insist on having our parties – ok, call them ‘simchas’ to make it more holy – or we can use an abundance of caution and NOT make parties. The chupa is the simcha. The rest is the party. The bar-mitzvah becomes a bar-mitzvah even without the bar. A l’chaim is altogether a made-up party of this generation. So here’s the whole debate: Party vs. my parents’ health. Party, or taking exceptional precautions for your parents’ health. It’s not complicated. And here’s anothing thing: To NOT make the l’chaim doesn’t require explanation. To… Read more »
Obviously, this is an issue that we are very passionate about. And reading the comments (which at this point number over 80) it is clear that everyone wants to do what is best for CH, and other communities. What we differ on is the approach. 1. Name-calling does not help. Calling someone a murderer for not wanting to wear a mask, or crazy for wanting others to wear masks, does not help anyone. If anything, it hurts things, not only since people no longer want to listen, but also since specifically at a time like now, we should be having… Read more »
Can we PLEASE stop the blaming?? We are not scientists measuring whether New York infected Florida, or vice-versa.These are very stressful times for everyone. Maybe leZecher Nishmas all those that we lost, from Crown Heights and elsewhere,let’s empathize … and each take responsibility… to wear masks, keep distance, and so on. Wearing masks on our streets is also a Kiddush Hashem…as this is what is recommended for everyone, and, yes, it is uncomfortable in the heat…..