By Chana Mochkin
Chol Hamoed. The holy days between the holy days. A time for meaningful family connection, spiritual elevation… and, apparently, sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic en route to a trampoline park packed with 500 other frum families who all had the exact same brilliant idea.
This year, we made a bold choice: we stayed home.
No overpriced petting zoos, no frantic bag-packing, no Googling whether it’s possible to kasher a Nespresso machine in a motel bathroom. Just us, our house, our kids, and everything we needed to get through until next Pesach.
And honestly? It was incredible.
Somewhere along the way, “Simchas Yom Tov” quietly morphed into “How Many Attractions Can You Cram Between Shacharis and Mincha.” And don’t get me wrong—Chol Hamoed trips can be beautiful. For some families, they’re exactly what’s needed. But when every outing turns into a high-stakes production, when the pressure to perform seeps into the one time we’re supposed to just be with our families… that’s when it’s worth pausing and asking: who are we really doing this for?
The Rebbe often spoke about the holiness of time—kedushas hazman—and how Yom Tov is meant to strengthen the home. Not just by being physically present, but emotionally and spiritually grounded. In one sicha, the Rebbe explained that the deepest simcha doesn’t come from exotic animals or roller coasters, but from investing in your family’s chinuch, from creating a home that radiates warmth and light. He didn’t say the ikar of Chol Hamoed is a bounce house (though, to be fair, even bounce houses have a tafkid).
So what did we actually do?
We davened together. Made Pesach pancakes. Pulled out the dusty board games. Had a dramatic retelling of Yetziyas Mitzrayim featuring sock puppets and someone in a towel as Pharaoh. Played a competitive round of “Who Can Make the Most Creative Use of Leftover Kugel.” And yes, at one point, we just sat around and stared at the ceiling, full and happy.
There was zero traffic. Zero admission fees. Zero frantic chases after a toddler who’s sprinting through a crowded public space wearing one shoe and no socks.
That’s a win in my book.
Do trips have their place? Absolutely. A well-planned outing can be a beautiful way to connect, to enjoy the world Hashem created, to make memories that last beyond the crumbs in the car. For some families, those outings are energizing and meaningful—and that’s wonderful.
But they’re not the only way to experience simchas Yom Tov.
Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is stay put. To be present, not just physically, but with your whole self. To lean into the quiet moments, the messy ones, the silly ones. To turn your home into the kind of place your kids want to come back to—not because it has the biggest rides or flashiest activities, but because it feels safe and warm and full of love.
My kids? Sure, they asked why their friends were at Six Flags while we were playing Uno in pajamas. But they were also calmer. Happier. More grounded. They weren’t being herded from one thing to the next like the animals we didn’t go see. They felt seen. Heard. Loved.
And I wasn’t shouting, “Back in the car! We’re late for the next Chol Hamoed experience!” That, to me, felt like the real freedom of Pesach.
If you’re heading out for a trip—amazing. Pack snacks. Take pictures. Make memories. But if you’re not? If you’re just home, in slippers, singing “Dayenu” for the 14th time while explaining (again) why we don’t eat gebrokts?
You’re not missing out. You’re tuning in.
Because in the end, the most memorable Chol Hamoed might be the one where nothing was scheduled—except time together.
And if the house is full of laughter, no one’s sunburned or carsick, and you still have enough matzah to get you through the week?
Dayenu.
Wishing you a continued Chag Sameach, filled with the kind of moments that last—whether you’re on the go or simply gathered at home with the people who matter most.
Thoughts? I’d love to hear them: [email protected]
Even your expression is a whole lot calmer and has a difference.
Lhavdil there is a book Bernstein Bears Too Much Pressure sums it up what you just expressed.
Even as adults (unless you’re a traveler adventuring the world) we love to travel, events, occasions etc… yet it hits a point of we miss our home, lack of quality time, yelling at our families etc… because it DOES get too much. So the lesson is for all year around. It’s great to have fun yet remember its great to relax too. A Gut Moed!
i hated traveling. i’m much happier just sitting home reading Torah books. it just depends what kind of soul you are. some people hate traveling and that’s just who they are.
Bernstein bears ftw
How did you do it without toveedo??
I used to not go on trips chol hamoed
But then I started. And I liked it a lot. There’s something so special about chol hamoed, and like trips. I wish chol hamoed would be every day!
Let’s be honest — if your kids are “so happy” staying home all Chol Hamoed, maybe it’s because they don’t know what they’re missing. Just say you didn’t feel like putting in the effort and move on. Not every decision is a holy cheshbon.
whats with the hate?
Staying home and not going on even one single trip is an extreme
she should’ve have at least gone for a walk to the park every day. staying home all day? too much
No, maybe they are just capable of adjusting.
On one hand, I do commend her for standing against peer pressure especially if this is something not always practical for her family. However, kids are kids, and they will get bored staying in the confinement of their house for 8 days. I think a healthy balance of time outdoors and a simple trip like to the park is key to give your kids a great time without breaking the bank or one’s sanity
It sounds that she stayed home with purpose. With a goal in mind. And she consciously created an environment that was holy and beautiful. That doesn’t just happen. It needs thought.
Great approach! Being relaxed is a great thing too!
This is how it starts. First we glorify “staying home,” next we’ll be told Simchas Beis Hashoeiva is overrated and should be done on Zoom. Yiddishkeit was never meant to be lived from the couch.
Wow. That’s a quick jump. Simchas Beis has a source in the Torah, find the source for needing the fanciest chol hamoed outing, or that family time on chol hamoed must be out of the house.
You’re dismantling the basis of community part by part. I agree!
life is about learning Torah. sit down on your couch and study and read. going to an amusement park is antiTorah.
Maybe going on trips for some people isn’t necessary but to call it anti Torah is actaully extreme
Funny how the same people saying “We don’t need trips” are the ones posting aesthetic Pesach table pics with $300 flower arrangements. It’s not about being simple, it’s about being seen as “different.”
How do you know they are the same people? I beg to differ. Generally the people who aren’t caving for pressure, are doing that across the board.
As a general whole taking your family on a Chol HaMoed Trip has nothing to do with not being able to hold up to peer pressure.
Perhaps the specific type of trips are sometimes based on peer pressure, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with a family going out on a trip together.
There are many “trip” destinations that are free or fairly inexpensive.
Chol Hamoed used to be about packed vans, lost kids, and lukewarm schnitzel sandwiches in a parking lot. It was glorious. Now everyone wants to make it into a mindfulness retreat. This isn’t Teaneck, people.
Everything is glorious in your memories. Also,
Family quality time isn’t a mindfulness retreat.
It’s only tradition bc of the past forty years. Fifty years ago, people were saying the tradition wasn’t trips.
On point this is the beauty of dysfunctional Judaism
Call me crazy, but if we’re too exhausted to do Chol Hamoed trips, maybe the problem isn’t the trip — maybe it’s the 17-hour Seder prep for guests we don’t even like.
Yeah there’s so much work. It would be nice if there were more local in CH events.
I’m not inviting guests I don’t like.
And I don’t do insane peel. I cook simple and yummy.
And enjoy spending quality family time at home more than trips. I Still do some trips but I find the fun family time at home much more enjoyable for everyone.
It looks like you figured it out
Kol hakavod if your kids are able to stay at home the whole day and enjoy being in the same four walls with each other the whole time.
I agree that there’s no need to spend a lot of money on trips, but one should still go out on trips that don’t cost as much money such as going on a short hike, or a walk somewhere scenic etc…
Right, I don’t think the point is that trips should be outlawed but more like that they aren’t a must and don’t need to be super sophisticated or complicated.
Maybe we aren’t too exhausted for trips. Being present in fun activities at home actually takes a lot more focus and energy than trips.
It’s only day 2 of chol hamoed. How is she reporting the results of her new idea before YT is even over??? (BTW the reason ppl go on trips is cuz alot of kids in one house over YT can get a bit rowdy and getting out of the house is a good way to change the scenery).
Exactly what I thought, barely beginning of cho hamoed and written like chol hamoed came and went already
Exactly. Get back to us on the last day
A great Chol Hamoed destination: the park.
Simple. Who needs more than that? And the kids love it.
me and my fam had fun in lake havsu
Wow. So inspiring. Next year I’m telling my kids, “No trips, Mommy read an article on COLlive and now we’re bonding through peeling potatoes and reenacting the makkos in the living room.” Who needs roller coasters when you can have your 4-year-old be makas barad with cotton balls and aluminum foil? Thank you for validating my laziness and calling it ruchnius. Truly next-level chinuch.
You sound miserable. And maybe rightfully so, but not everyone’s experiences with their children are all like that. If it doesn’t work for you, that’s fine. But why mock someone’s experience?
Yeah okay sure, who needs trips. I told my kids the same thing this year — “you don’t need fun, you need imagination!” So we stayed home and I let them use the vacuum box as a roller coaster and they ate marshmallows off the floor. Then we watched other families on WhatsApp at Hershey Park and I explained that they are the ones missing the point. My wife didn’t talk to me for 3 days but it was a ruchniyusdike silence. Thank you for validating my decision to do nothing and then pretend it was chinuch.
Wow. So inspiring. Literally crying from how not-normal this is. Your kids ate marshmallows off the FLOOR and you’re calling that chinuch??? I’m sure their future shidduchim will be thrilled to hear they grew up on vacuum boxes and resentment. But yeah, blame it on ruchniyus. Adorable.
Just rude. Why?
Who in their right mind would let their kids eat marshmallows off of the floor?
Haha 🤣
I think everyone missed it lol
It is awful when sarcasm needs to be explained.
Sounds like people need a vacation. You can go on trips and you can even go to hotels for your vacation to calm grumpiness.
It’s a oped to enjoy life with what you have and if it’s not for you then maybe take a vacation. You’re anyhow spending money on a trip might as well spend it on a vacation and to get rid of the grumpiness.
Seriously!
Trips are a reflection of the increasing gashmiyus in anash. You think in Europe people went in trips on chol hamoed?
All nice, but if you’re board games are dusty, perhaps your house needs better pesach cleaning?
Can do that instead of a trip!
Calm down , you don’t need to personally attack the writer , that’s very immature
Not sure why everyone commenting to this article as a personal attack. It seems like those commenting don’t enjoy spending time with their kids at home for days on end and that’s fine. You don’t need to mock and insult those who do. I’m sure it’s hard to comprehend when you’re overwhelmed after 3 days at home but some families prefer personal quality time at home to noisy experiences in crowded public areas. No one’s saying you need to too.
Nobody is personally attacked but when somebody comes out and just writes stuff about their anti walking out of the house program yes that’s weird
There must be a sweet in between bc everything you listed can be down in an hour. How did you spend the entire rest of 4 days Chol Hamoed?
Enjoy your dusty board games
I’m going out and having a blast!
Some people live by the motto Ashray Yosvay Veay’secha- Happy are those who dwell in your house”. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions.
Part of the point of the article is that the author feels that this is the right way to do it and that the way others are doing it is overboard, so it wasn’t purely about just stating their own opinion
Facts
This is just an article presenting a different idea. You don’t have to follow it- but gotta admit that it’s raising awareness that there is value in just relaxing in each other’s company. As it’s a four day chol hamoed this year, maybe only two of those days need outside entertainment. If this article just offers another perspective and people can justify staying home for two days, then dayenu- it has served its purpose. Take what you want out of the article. Look for points that resonate. And move on. No need to bash the author or worse, get personal… Read more »
My family did that and I enjoyed it soooo much. Iy”H will also balance both with my kids.
Thank you for writing this article. You actually made me feel better. We don’t have kids yet but it’s hard for us to get out and do trips on chol a moed .my husband wants to relax at home and I get it! And the truth is that who said that we HAVE to do a trip?
I don’t understand the comments in this article. If you want to take your kids to trips – enjoy and do it. Why put down the article author?
Read the article again
Trips do have a place but sometimes for some families staying home can be very powerful and enjoyable! Don’t take it out of context and do what works for you
We just had a 3 day yt! With a 2 day coming up! Balancing relaxing home time with trips is highly individual for each family! As is the financial. I don’t really see the point of this article, do what works for your family! The pressure you feel is whatever you put on yourself, no need for self- righteousness making this into a moral issue.
There’s a middle path to everything. You can do one trip, it doesn’t need to be staying home or a packed week of back to back trips.
This article’s tone isn’t respectful.
You can’t just state something without any context ..
I’m not here to hate, if your kids can stare at the ceiling and you can tirelessly work to keep them entertained after a tiring three day yom tov good for you. But at the end of the day, kids are kids and times are really changing I just don’t think it’s fair to “deprive” them of a experience
Why so much negativity in the comments? She isn’t forcing anything on anyone, she’s just bringing out the beauty in the staying home option.
Especially when trips can’t always be geared for all ages and stages, it’s so nice and healthy to have fun family time at home.
Interesting.
Not even sure what the point is.
Do you want validation that it is ok to stay at home and no one will judge you for that ? Or you’re looking to say that staying home can be nice and appreciated? Because it didn’t come across as that.
The trip outings are simply so that ppl and kids don’t loose their mind and have some stimulation. Especially in areas where there is no back yards near by parks ect
If you really can’t do trips and you live in an apartment building at least go to a park.
Kids wait all year for chol hamoed trips.
Do it for them.
What the heck! They only wait for it because we make a point out of it
How are you going to title your comment with Yechi Hamelech and then write what the heck 🤦♀️
Totally agree to this!
One hundred percent!!
I’m all for simple and laid-back.
BUT.
I had my kids home from school for a week+ before Pesach, while I prepped and shlepped. Then we had the first days of Yom Tov which were late and tiring and we all stayed home. I’m ready to get some sunshine and exercise and a change of scenery on chol hamoed.
Hatzlacha and I hope everyone creates positive memories in their households.
You should have taken them in trips before Pesach when the lines are shorter.
im going to be honest the chumra’s and peeling whilst meaningful can be stressful for capacity, prices are sky high and I need Chol Hamoed simply have some self care. its ok to have a self care day, and chill at home.
While I get the message here, I think this article misses the point. Just because some families enjoy trips doesn’t mean they’re less spiritually connected. Not everyone thrives by staying home—some need those outings to bond and recharge. Why is there only one ‘right’ way to celebrate Yom Tov? Maybe we should stop judging others for how they choose to spend Chol Hamoed and embrace different ways to make memories.
My kdis are still young (6 under 10ka”h) and we usually chill at home (grateful to live in a nice area where the kids can go out and play with the neighbors etc) but this year we’ve been doing board games, pool, baking etc. we went to a museum today that we haven’t been to in a while (we have discounted card) but ye we try to keep things simple and on a budget. Honestly it’s way too overwhelming for me to plan full day trips not too mention the prohibitive cost)
Seems like the author wanted some clicks…
She got me to click and read it.
Waste of time…
I don’t need to try it for more then a couple hours and my kids are going nuts after being home all YT.. it’s fine there are plenty of free outings that take less creativity then activities involving leftover kugel.
Thanks COLlive for this post…
This article is just like a reminder that chol hamoed trips don’t need to be exotic far or pricey. You can spend some time at home in the morning no need to rush anywhere, make time to make early lunch for the family while the kids watch some toveedo. Then plan something small like domino park or like Brooklyn bridge or even a close museum that can be very educational and then you got both relaxing morning and fun family time with the kids. That’s my opinion. It’s tough these days to stay home chol hamoed all day and even… Read more »
Did the Rebbe ever say to go on a Chol Hamoed trip?
You chose what works for you and your family, this is how life works, not newsworthy.
Yeah for real
There is quite a bit of exaggeration in this article in the way Chol HaMoed trips that people go on are described. The author makes it sound that everyone is for example spending tons of money, running from one trip to the next and sitting in endless traffic. Perhaps if there was less exaggeration people would be more open to some of the points the author is trying to bring out. There’s a balance to everything, please don’t make it sound that everyone going out of their house on Chol HaMoed trips is for sure stressed because of/from the trip… Read more »
However parents choose to handle Chol Hamoed, kol hakavod to them. Making yomtov as a parent of young kids is stressful – financially and mentally. Shout out to the parents who are working hard to give their kids a meaningful and fun yomtov – whatever that looks like. And if yomtov is easy for you – look around. Maybe invite someone else’s child to your trip? Or to play in your house?
Let’s all be a little kinder to each other.
Delightfully written!
Light and happy! What a breath of fresh air! Not putting anyone down or what’s a better idea. Just sharing and suggesting in such a nice caring way. Kol Hakovod!!
In recent years, many of the popular places to go are extremely overpriced and packed to the brim. It’s not like the old days where trips were a sure way of happiness for everyone. now, it’s a toss-up if these trips are even worth it. Perhaps people should take some trips before and after Pesach and find some more creative ways to spend time with the family on Chol Hamoed.
Trips in the 90s was even worse ,it was so overcrowded and claustrophobic ! These days peopel stay home more because they’re stuck on their screens
Trips don’t have to equal expensive and overwhelming theme parks. What about a simple hike, park, playground or a picnic near the water? Also these sort of outdoor trips are a nice way for extended family to get together as we don’t all fit in one house. I don’t see why it has to be all or none, stay home all day or do an extravagant trip. It’s also important to get some vitamin D and fresh air! We can do board games in the evening
LOVE THIS! Well put!
The best chol hamoed trip is to the COL comment section, you stay at home and have a trip! Best of both worlds!
Yesss that’s what im doing and im a kid 🙈
That’s really disrespectful to this persons whole idea. You’re making a joke of it and it’s not funny. Gut moed
If you are the type of parents that can entertain your kids, so be it.
Some people need to get out. I don’t think either way is right or wrong. I don’t like blanket statements. Every situation is different.
Have a wonderful Pesach and do what’s right for you. Forget the peer
pressure. At the end of the day, no one cares what you are doing. Be comfortable with your own decisions.
I know a family that does their trip on isru chag. I think its genius. Pesach dinner takes the whole day to cook, plus there’s second days yomtov coming up to cook for. Who has time or headspace to go out?
This way, chol hamoed stays chill, but the kids don’t miss out on a fun family trip.
Plus, there’s a huge bonus- no lines!
Kids spend all year in school,parents at work or home with kids, yom tov , family time and a trip/ trips are part of balancing life out.
I totally agree we should stay home and eat matzah all day. Though it might create insulin resistance and then what happens? So actually I change my mind, get out of the house, move, and breathe in the fresh air.
In my opinion staying home and bonding over board games is exactly what we do during the 3 day yom tov. The intermediary days should not be spent inside the house as well. Especially since a lot of families don’t get much time where the whole family is not at work/school. Why use those precious days to stay home and do essentially nothing. There’s a balance. Go out for a couple of hours so the children can let out their energy, make memories, learn new things and enjoy new experiences. It’s not hard…
Such a beautiful article. This is how we should be living – In the present moment. We don’t need to spend money to make us or our family happy.
We need to hear these kinds of messages more often.
Thank you!!!!
Good for you, may Moshiach come now!!
Chol hamoed is a nice time for family bonding. Our kids spend all day at school, mainly coming home by dinner time, and then having to do homework. Summers end up being sleepaway camp. Yeshiva week and Pesach end up being the only times of the year we can do outings together. At an outing, my son asked why we cannot do these things all year round and honestly there’s no time. School 6 days a week plus shabbos. We look forward to finally getting the time to go out as a family
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I’m reading this on line to this awesomeeeeee roller coaster.