By Moshe B.
I would like to address an issue that has been happening lately, in which videos on TikTok, Instagram as well as other social media are uploaded by many young people without a single thought as to what the consequences may be.
Unlike the algorithm of past years, social media platforms do not serve your content to your contacts and followers only. Downloading and screenshotting content is easier than ever. Even if you regretted posting, the content remains available by others.
Occasionally, these videos even go viral, going way further than one’s own contacts and community, sometimes viewed by thousands – or even millions around the world.
Sadly, these clips – as short and as quick as they may be to record – may end up causing untold damage and can destroy lives.
What I think should be stressed is the danger and stupidity of the “speak your mind” movement that has people blabbering and gushing about the most personal aspects of their lives on platforms with zero regard for privacy.
Sadly, this hasn’t skipped over the frum community. Instagram and now more recently TikTok has an endless stream of frum adults discussing personal issues and dark thoughts under the guise of vulnerability and transparency.
The issue grows even greater on TikTok where a younger crowd vies for attention with short clips.
Parents and educators, please advise the children in your care that social media is not a “safe space” and not all the thoughts that pop into their heads are worth sharing.
It seems like there is no better time to open Pirkei Avos again and hear what our chachamim already knew back then:
“Avtalyon would say: Scholars, be careful with your words. For you may be exiled to a place inhabited by evil elements [who will distort your words to suit their negative purposes].”
“Social media is not a “safe space” and not all the thoughts that pop into their heads are worth sharing.” So where is? What do we expect of these teenagers who are struggling with balancing the worlds they live in?
We don’t all need to speak out. If you do want to speak it’s a great idea to talk to real live people you know to get a sense of what they think and bounce your ideas off them
your friends and family love you and can guide you.
Not all teenagers (and even adults) have access to resources. Not everyone has non judgmental or understanding parents, family, or friends to turn to. While it’s important to recognize the cons and safety issues with a big platform, it’s also unfair to minimize the comfort some people may receive when they can not find it at home.
This is exactly why we need to work on providing resources. People don’t realize that by blasting their problems to the world they are NOT getting help, they’re hurting themselves in the long run.
The only safe space is in the grave
In this world if you told something to someone don’t expect it to remain a secret
In this world if you said something publicly expect others to know about it
And what’s this nonsense about safe space. Why do you need a safe space? If you have something sensitive you need to discuss speak to a parent or a mashpia. All this heightened sensitivity is ruining the younger generation
what about if someone doesn’t HAVE a parent or mashpia to talk to? I’m not agreeing that people should be broadcasting their problems to the world, but as a teenager, i know that i and many of my friends need someone to talk to. baruch hashem my school has amazing social workers who we can talk to if we need, but not every school has that, and any school that doesn’t should definitely get.
Social workers get their ideas from goyim/degrees which are not based on torah values. From past experience frum and I’ll underline FRUM social workers can be more harmful then helpful.
You were given access to social media by your parents, a surrogate “babysitter” so parents didn’t have to deal with your “struggles” and could focus on other “more important” things. The effort to block the phones is not something most parents will do. And schools just turn the other way, as if there isn’t peer pressure to fit in and get on social media like everyone else. The schools could have banned unblocked social media years ago, but they refuse to do it. Do they care?
THINK before you speak or do! Think about Hashem and Hiskarus with our Rebbe. Is posting that video will lead to spreading chassidus or a message from the Rebbe?
I’m sure that could not hurt to remind children that online and off where ever you go you should remember you are representative of a whole community
How true.
we need to start with the adults putting away their phones and not clutching them like they are waiting for a call from the lottery office. When children and teens see their morahs, rebbes, program directors etc constantly with a phone it gives it so much appeal.
I’m guilty of phone addiction as well. I make it a point to keep my phone on silent to not respond to every notification. But I definitely feel teachers should not be on their phones during school hours, unless in a lunch room. On a recent tour of a school I noticed the main preschool teacher on her phone, quickly putting it away as we walked in. As well as a davening teacher, if teachers are also hiding phones when principals walk through the schools with parents, how do we expect our youth to show anymore restraint if the adults… Read more »
PARENTS behavior has much more influence on the life of their child!
Exactly. Parents have the most influence on their child’s life
It is the peer environment that influences kids most – which is why banning unblocked internet and social media should have been priority #1 in the schools – but they do nothing. And teachers should have to turn their phones in just like the students if they are being caught on their phones during class.
i think this is of the way smaller problems with social media.
Jordan Peterson has been saying for a while that we do not know the effects of social media on the human psyche. It has not been studied at all!
He brings as a example that Twitter limits each post to 140 characters and that when posting it’s much easier to post something”mad” “mean” “nasty” then post something good and meaningful. Meaning that the mode of communication is set in not having a proper dialog rather to pushing out verbally your rash thought.
Food for thought.
He’s a priest… food for thought.
He’s not a priest. He’s a psychologist, author, lecturer etc.
There have been interviews with social media CREATORS who refuse to allow their own children on social media. They know it destroys the children and teens emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
If you are proud of what you write, sign your full name. Otherwise your words carry no weight.
Why is it hard to listen to a good message without knowing who wrote it?
Never understood why people must know who wrote it otherwise the message is meaningless?
How does that make sense?
It’s clear that it’s written by someone who cares enough and is trying to improve things.
That’s definitely enough for me.
Focus on the message, and not details that are totally irrelevant.
since you seem to care so much, where is your named signed?
… Be a good parent. Educate your child. Show them by example. Chances are your kid will probably turn out alright.
Great parents do not give their children access to shmutz, thinking their example is all that matters!
And that should suffice for the understanding.
I as a teenager use all highly populated social media apps such as ticktok insta and more!!
I think it is good that ppl share everything that pops up on their mind by posting videos on social media!! Not all people can just share their thoughts in a conversation face to face. Ppl are more open when they use social media!
So.. i totally disagree with this article. As always ppl like the person that wrote this article don’t look at the brighter side.
Is if people dont know how to share their thoughts in a conversation face to face.
Not a good foundation for a healthy marriage. Or any relationship for that matter.
Stop giving teens phones! They are not mature enough and developed mentally and emotionally enough to deal with technology!
I have worked with teens long ago and many do not have the controls to watch how they present or write on social media. They do not always think before they act. A young 16 or 17 yr old may think he or she is a star and sometimes they post an idea which they may find humorous to make a point.. Then the school and adults have heart attacks and assault a child verbally for very inappropriate content. They can have massive consequences in a child’s life. There is no damage control and no compassion and no forgiveness. They… Read more »
People are too addicted to care, but the social media companies (fb/Instagram, etc.) know your every thought – which is exactly what they want. It’s all about control. The more they know about you, the more they can control you.