Sunday, 5 Sivan, 5781
  |  May 16, 2021

When Your Opinions Don’t Remain Your Own

From the COLlive inbox: I would like to address an issue that has been happening lately, in which videos on social media are uploaded by many young people without a single thought as to what the consequences may be. Full Story

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Sincere question
April 12, 2021 11:18 pm

“Social media is not a “safe space” and not all the thoughts that pop into their heads are worth sharing.” So where is? What do we expect of these teenagers who are struggling with balancing the worlds they live in?

they should listen
Reply to  Sincere question
April 12, 2021 11:52 pm

We don’t all need to speak out. If you do want to speak it’s a great idea to talk to real live people you know to get a sense of what they think and bounce your ideas off them

your friends and family love you and can guide you.

Keeping an open mind
Reply to  they should listen
April 13, 2021 12:41 pm

Not all teenagers (and even adults) have access to resources. Not everyone has non judgmental or understanding parents, family, or friends to turn to. While it’s important to recognize the cons and safety issues with a big platform, it’s also unfair to minimize the comfort some people may receive when they can not find it at home.

This is why we need to provide resources
Reply to  Keeping an open mind
April 13, 2021 1:41 pm

This is exactly why we need to work on providing resources. People don’t realize that by blasting their problems to the world they are NOT getting help, they’re hurting themselves in the long run.

The only safe space
Reply to  Sincere question
April 13, 2021 12:34 am

The only safe space is in the grave

In this world if you told something to someone don’t expect it to remain a secret

In this world if you said something publicly expect others to know about it

And what’s this nonsense about safe space. Why do you need a safe space? If you have something sensitive you need to discuss speak to a parent or a mashpia. All this heightened sensitivity is ruining the younger generation

Social Workers in Schools
Reply to  The only safe space
April 13, 2021 5:50 pm

what about if someone doesn’t HAVE a parent or mashpia to talk to? I’m not agreeing that people should be broadcasting their problems to the world, but as a teenager, i know that i and many of my friends need someone to talk to. baruch hashem my school has amazing social workers who we can talk to if we need, but not every school has that, and any school that doesn’t should definitely get.

Not all social workers help either
Reply to  Social Workers in Schools
April 13, 2021 8:55 pm

Social workers get their ideas from goyim/degrees which are not based on torah values. From past experience frum and I’ll underline FRUM social workers can be more harmful then helpful.

Reply to  Sincere question
April 21, 2021 12:14 pm

You were given access to social media by your parents, a surrogate “babysitter” so parents didn’t have to deal with your “struggles” and could focus on other “more important” things. The effort to block the phones is not something most parents will do. And schools just turn the other way, as if there isn’t peer pressure to fit in and get on social media like everyone else. The schools could have banned unblocked social media years ago, but they refuse to do it. Do they care?

Foundation is
April 12, 2021 11:22 pm

THINK before you speak or do! Think about Hashem and Hiskarus with our Rebbe. Is posting that video will lead to spreading chassidus or a message from the Rebbe?

This is also an important idea
Reply to  Foundation is
April 12, 2021 11:55 pm

I’m sure that could not hurt to remind children that online and off where ever you go you should remember you are representative of a whole community

April 12, 2021 11:28 pm

How true.

April 13, 2021 12:09 am

we need to start with the adults putting away their phones and not clutching them like they are waiting for a call from the lottery office. When children and teens see their morahs, rebbes, program directors etc constantly with a phone it gives it so much appeal.

Children learn from watching
Reply to  true
April 13, 2021 12:33 pm

I’m guilty of phone addiction as well. I make it a point to keep my phone on silent to not respond to every notification. But I definitely feel teachers should not be on their phones during school hours, unless in a lunch room. On a recent tour of a school I noticed the main preschool teacher on her phone, quickly putting it away as we walked in. As well as a davening teacher, if teachers are also hiding phones when principals walk through the schools with parents, how do we expect our youth to show anymore restraint if the adults… Read more »

Don't forget...
Reply to  Children learn from watching
April 13, 2021 5:21 pm

PARENTS behavior has much more influence on the life of their child!

Reply to  Don't forget...
April 13, 2021 11:28 pm

Exactly. Parents have the most influence on their child’s life

This has been disproven!
Reply to  Don't forget...
April 21, 2021 12:17 pm

It is the peer environment that influences kids most – which is why banning unblocked internet and social media should have been priority #1 in the schools – but they do nothing. And teachers should have to turn their phones in just like the students if they are being caught on their phones during class.

April 13, 2021 12:59 am

i think this is of the way smaller problems with social media.

Jordan Peterson
April 13, 2021 1:22 am

Jordan Peterson has been saying for a while that we do not know the effects of social media on the human psyche. It has not been studied at all!
He brings as a example that Twitter limits each post to 140 characters and that when posting it’s much easier to post something”mad” “mean” “nasty” then post something good and meaningful. Meaning that the mode of communication is set in not having a proper dialog rather to pushing out verbally your rash thought.

Food for thought.

Reply to  Jordan Peterson
April 13, 2021 11:26 am

He’s a priest… food for thought.

Reply to  galach
April 13, 2021 2:03 pm

He’s not a priest. He’s a psychologist, author, lecturer etc.

It's not just him
Reply to  galach
April 21, 2021 12:19 pm

There have been interviews with social media CREATORS who refuse to allow their own children on social media. They know it destroys the children and teens emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Why are you ashamed?
April 13, 2021 8:01 am

If you are proud of what you write, sign your full name. Otherwise your words carry no weight.

Reply to  Why are you ashamed?
April 13, 2021 10:28 am

Why is it hard to listen to a good message without knowing who wrote it?
Never understood why people must know who wrote it otherwise the message is meaningless?
How does that make sense?
It’s clear that it’s written by someone who cares enough and is trying to improve things.
That’s definitely enough for me.

Focus on the message, and not details that are totally irrelevant.

you're not yotzer min haklal
Reply to  Why are you ashamed?
April 13, 2021 1:12 pm

since you seem to care so much, where is your named signed?

April 13, 2021 11:32 am

… Be a good parent. Educate your child. Show them by example. Chances are your kid will probably turn out alright.

Reply to  Alternatively...
April 21, 2021 12:20 pm

Great parents do not give their children access to shmutz, thinking their example is all that matters!

See Previous Story
April 13, 2021 2:24 pm

And that should suffice for the understanding.

April 13, 2021 3:18 pm

I as a teenager use all highly populated social media apps such as ticktok insta and more!!

I think it is good that ppl share everything that pops up on their mind by posting videos on social media!! Not all people can just share their thoughts in a conversation face to face. Ppl are more open when they use social media!

So.. i totally disagree with this article. As always ppl like the person that wrote this article don’t look at the brighter side.

the real problem
Reply to  Stupid!!
April 13, 2021 7:00 pm

Is if people dont know how to share their thoughts in a conversation face to face.

Not a good foundation for a healthy marriage. Or any relationship for that matter.

Don't give Teen phones
April 13, 2021 9:11 pm

Stop giving teens phones! They are not mature enough and developed mentally and emotionally enough to deal with technology!

April 14, 2021 5:50 pm

I have worked with teens long ago and many do not have the controls to watch how they present or write on social media. They do not always think before they act. A young 16 or 17 yr old may think he or she is a star and sometimes they post an idea which they may find humorous to make a point.. Then the school and adults have heart attacks and assault a child verbally for very inappropriate content. They can have massive consequences in a child’s life. There is no damage control and no compassion and no forgiveness. They… Read more »

April 21, 2021 12:27 pm

People are too addicted to care, but the social media companies (fb/Instagram, etc.) know your every thought – which is exactly what they want. It’s all about control. The more they know about you, the more they can control you.