Tests & Trials
In today’s crazy world, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. How can we keep our spirits up, our sanity intact? The Avner Institute presents the Rebbe’s coping advice to a stressed young wife that all hardships are merely tests of faith and ultimately opportunities to rise above our previous level, draw out reserves of strength, and find our inner good qualities.
Dedicated in memory of loving memory of Hadassah Lebovic A”h
“The State of Mind is a Powerful Factor”
By the Grace of G-d
25 Tishrei 5721
Brooklyn, NY
Mrs. Hena Elka Sufrin
26 Linthorpe Road
London N16
Blessing and Greeting:
I received your letter, in which you discuss the questions of ——– that which has entailed certain difficulties, and you ask my opinion whether it was justified.
Let me begin with some brief introductory observations.
In the view of our Torah, which is called Toras Chaim, the Law of Life, and especially as emphasized in the teachings of the Baal Shem Tov, the founder of Chassidus, whose 200th anniversary we have recently observed, a husband and wife are not two separate entities, but are one. And, as in the case of the physical body, when any part is strengthened and invigorated, it automatically adds vigor and strength to all the other parts, and much more so, is the case with a husband and wife who have been married k’das Moshe v’Yisroel, the benefit to one is a benefit to both. Therefore, there can be no question but that the benefit which your husband expected to derive from his trip, and I trust he unquestionably did derive it, will be fully shared by you and the rest of the family.
Another point is that the Jewish festivals in general, and those of the month of Tishrei in particular, have lasting benefits. Similarly, the Festival of Succoth, Shemini Atzereth, and Simchat Torah, which are the Season of our Rejoicing, are not intended to bring true joy and inspiration only during these days, and when they are over they are forgotten. But their purpose and intent is that the Jew should draw from them stores of joy and inspiration to last him throughout the year and every day of the year. The nature of such joy and inspiration, being connected with the Torah and mitzvoth, is such that it truly permeates one’s whole being and is the wellspring of harmonious Jewish life.
Add to this the fact that the state of mind is a powerful factor, not only in regard to one’s spiritual life, but also one’s physical and material life. For it is a matter of common experience that when one goes about his affairs in a happy frame of mind, with faith and confidence, he is bound to be more successful.
Trials & Tribulations
Applying all the above to your family Jewish life, it is well to bear in mind that at all times and especially in our time, it is not a simple matter to set up a truly harmonious Jewish life. A young couple inevitably experiences certain difficulties, trials, and sometimes even crises, chas veshalom. But when one realizes that these are only trials designed to strengthen the foundations of the home, which is to be an everlasting edifice (binyan adei-ad), and as the Torah states, “For G-d tries you to make known your love,” etc. (Deut. 13:4), one appreciates them in their true perspective. For, in sending these difficulties and trials, G-d also provides the capacity to overcome them. Far from being discouraged by such difficulties, one considers them as challenges to be overcome, in order to reap the benefits that are inherent in them.
Finally, human nature is such that when one has various problems to cope with, it is more difficult to cope with them in isolation, and it is much easier to overcome them by belonging to an atmosphere and society which is permeated with the same approach and the same way of thinking. (Incidentally, this is one of the reasons why certain things in Jewish life require the presence of at least a minyan of ten people.)
After all the above observations, you should consider the fact that your husband has been given the very important function of being connected with a cause of Chinuch al Taharas HaKodesh [holy education] and the general development of the Lubavitch House, which has great promise for the future. In addition your recent settlement in —— also requires a special reserve of strength and capacities. The more one is equipped with faith in G-d, confidence and joy, the better one can cope with all these problems.
Your husband’s visit here has brought him in personal contact with other young men similarly situated, and in some cases even with more difficult problems, and the mutual benefit derived from such contact is simply inestimable. Even if the trip entailed certain personal sacrifices on his part as well as on yours, they will be more than compensated by the benefits, and not only spiritual benefits but also in terms of material benefits, as indicated above.
I am sure it is unnecessary to elaborate further on this matter, knowing your background and understanding. I only want to emphasize again that the benefits from your husband’s visit are bound to be shared equally by both you, and your children, and may G-d grant that these benefits be even greater than anticipated.
I will be glad to hear good news from you in connection with all above.
With blessing,
[The Rebbe’s signature]
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