We Took Our Family to Moldova

By Chaya S. Abelsky, MCC – www.infiniti-coaching.com

At the end of last January, as I sat cooped up in the house with my kids, unable to leave the house in that monster snowstorm, I had an unexpected bit of time to do some thinking and, dare I say it aloud, revisit some unfulfilled Rosh Hashana resolutions.

After some soul searching and lots of hot cocoa, I made the difficult personal decision to forego our usual relaxing summer vacation plans and instead accompany my husband, along with our 3-year-old daughter and high school children in tow, to Moldova, one of the poorest countries in Europe.

But let me back up a bit and explain how I ended up in Moldova.

In 1989, the Rebbe sent my father-in-law, Rabbi Zalman Abelsky, together with his wife Leah, on a holy mission to Moldova to help the Jewish community. With 7 children (my husband was “the baby”) and many grandchildren, they willingly and bravely left their homeland of Israel after 40 years to rebuild Jewish Moldova.

Over the course of 25 years, they succeeded in revitalizing a community that doubled in size from 10,000 Jews to 20,000. Two-years ago, Reb Zalman, z”l, passed away and left an undeniable void. Although operations and programs have continued, life in Moldova is just not the same without the always-friendly and holy leader.

My husband, who is the Director of Friends of Kishinev Jews, has flown back and forth over the years, taking it upon himself to do what he could to help the community there, but this year, he looked me in the eyes and said, “Chaya, they need you.”

Heavily involved with growing my new career coaching business, as well as dealing with my parental responsibilities, I was not eager to add more to my “To Do” list and I really felt that I “needed” a vacation. I told him I would think about it. And that’s when Monster Snow Storm hit, giving me some unexpected time to think about myself, my family, my work, and my life’s priorities. I decided that I didn’t need a vacation, I needed to do this.

So there I was, on a flight to Moldova, on a mission, actually a new mission we just inaugurated this year, called the “Moldova Matters Mission,” a mission designed to help Moldova’s Jews, who have the unfortunate “luck” of living in one of Europe’s poorest countries. Halfway through the plane ride, though, I had a bit of a panic attack: I had no idea what I would be able to accomplish, and I was dragging my young child halfway across the world to do it.

I looked across the aisle to cheer up my daughter, who I was sure would be anxious about the trip, but to my surprise, I saw her smiling with anticipation. Suddenly, I understood that she did not view this summer with apprehension; she was actually eager to get started on this adventure, joyously looking forward to it. I realized then that the energy and optimism of my mother-in-law must have been genetically transmitted to my daughter. My mood lifted, and I felt ready to face the challenges that lay ahead of me.

I thought about how I could use my skills as a career coach to facilitate transitions and empower individuals. As the stewardess came by offering drinks, I was stirred from my thoughts, wondering what the summer would bring.

Once we landed, it was nonstop activity. We started building slowly, each move was step-by-step, strategically thought-out, one foot-in-front of the other. At the end of each day, it seemed like we hadn’t accomplished much, and I felt discouraged by our apparent lack of progress.

But, after two full weeks of hard work and effort, I looked back at the strong foundation that I had helped to lay and the incremental, yet definitive, positive changes that had already taken place within a relatively short amount of time. And, I realized that I, the teacher, was now the student. As Francis of Assisi once said, “Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”

This summer, I interrupted my business, my family and my life to go to Moldova and ‘give’ to a country, a city and community that needed me, but what I got in return was much bigger. The “sacrifice” I made by giving of myself to others ended up enriching me far more than I could have imagined. When I shared the skills I had mastered with the Jews of Moldova, they, in return, rewarded me by providing me with an incredibly diversified and challenging experience that not only bolstered my self-esteem and confidence, but helped me to grow both professionally and personally.

We’ve been back a few weeks now, and life has gone back to normal. Except that it hasn’t for me. And I hope to impart the lessons I learned this summer to my future coaching clients: Open yourself up to new possibilities and experiences that involve giving of yourself, even if it means “giving up” a summer vacation, because you never know where it will take you…

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Chaya S. Abelsky, Master Certified Coach, is a highly trained executive coach holding the highest credential awarded by the International Coach Federation (ICF). She founded Infiniti Coaching (DBA Triumphant Journeys LLC) in 2007, after receiving certification in Coaching from New York University.

Enhance your current career and/or shlichus, embark on a new career track, embrace a coaching career. Semester begins: Monday, September 26th 2016. To join contact 646-701-5454, [email protected] or www.infiniti-coaching.com.