By D.S.
I’m a young Lubavitcher woman. I’ve been in the system, made it through with flying colors, and am living a successful and productive life. Baruch Hashem. I am happy and thank Hashem each day that I am given a chance to make this world a better place.
Oh, and I’m a survivor of abuse.
My healing journey has been brutal. The ramifications of my abuse have been extremely difficult to live with. It was only a short while ago that I was able to stand up and say that I was abused. I could not face the pain and destruction the abuse caused me. Baruch Hashem, I have made it to the other side. The abuse and its effects are things that I live with every day, but you wouldn’t know. I am functioning, succeeding, and thriving.
Shame thrives in secrecy. For so many survivors, shame is our life. Abuse makes us feel like we are bad. The shame clings to survivors and defines the way we live and the choices we make. Speaking openly about our experiences allows the shame to dissipate.
Monday night’s Neshamos event was a wonderful opportunity for the community to tear down the shame surrounding abuse and support these brave survivors. It was a chance to recognize that we are valuable and pure even though we were violated. I am not talking about 1 or 2 people within our community; I refer to many people, most likely someone close to you.
I was excited to see those bright red flyers all over our neighborhood. The time had finally come to have a conversation about sexual abuse. Neshamos created a beautiful program for the community to increase awareness and support abuse survivors. Rabbi Yosef Braun and highly respected frum Dr. Akiva Pearlman would speak – here were people who understood us.
I went to the event and arrived on time. It was fantastic. It was very well done and gave voice to survivors like me. It addressed relevant issues in a Hashkafically appropriate manner.
It was also embarrassingly empty.
I reassured my friends that more people would come, that Crown Heights was better than this. It would fill up! I had seen this same hall packed for a Nshei Chabad event just a few months ago. Everyone I ever met had shown up. Jewish women have a lot going on; there’s laundry to take care of, dishes to wash, and finding babysitters is impossible. But these amazing women in our community prioritized going to this event — they made it work.
As time passed, a few people did trickle in. But rows of chairs sat empty. Yes, it was freezing, but if there is a will there is a way. Why does it seem like we don’t make this crucial topic a priority?
You might think that I am exaggerating, but speak to any survivor of abuse, and they will echo my sentiments. I am not here to stir up arguments and blame. I am simply asking questions. I love our Shtetel and am proud to call it home, but I am disappointed.
A month ago, when the Chaim Walder scandal broke out, we survivors watched the reaction closely. It showcased how the world sees us and our abusers.
Around that time, I spoke to a friend who isn’t part of our community. She told me Gedolim were saying that anyone who criticized him without substantial evidence of his abuse is responsible for his death. It hit me in my gut. How could they be so insensitive? But I reassured myself that our community was more sensitive. We can look abusers in the eye and call them out. We dare to stand with the survivors of sexual abuse. Sadly, I’m not sure if that’s true.
I’m writing this because I believed in you more, Crown Heights. We can’t always prevent abuse from happening, but we can show up and show solidarity to survivors. We can learn about the topic to protect our vulnerable children. Last night was the perfect moment, but you did not show up.
It makes me sad that you did not make it more of a priority. It makes me sad that you did not take this topic seriously. Are you aware of how common this problem is and how easily it can affect your own children? I’m wondering when this will change.
I don’t want to blame, but I am curious. Crown Heights, where were you on Monday night? Why didn’t you show up when we needed you?
I cannot sign my name as there are people that I need to protect, but I exist in real-time; I’m not a fictional character. Please open your mind, and consider my questions.
And i could not agree with this article more
It was much easier to watch it live
Then to find a babysitter
BH Dear friend I too was disappointed at first by the lack of attendance on Monday night. But then I thought about it, and changed my mind. You asked why, so I will try and answer. Our community is at the forefront of recognizing these issues – find me any other Frum community in the WORLD that brings these topics to the table and deals with them in a public manner. There aren’t. We have events for Bonei Olam; we have events for Suicide Prevention and Opioid Awareness; we host events for Phone and Internet addiction. We take a stance… Read more »
But was worried I would leave so battered by everyone in the rooms emotions that I stayed home for my own mental health.
Its a heavy topic and not showing up doesn’t mean Crown Heights doesn’t care.
The signs just said were gonna spill our guts. And honestly, I was afraid. I want to support, but I don’t want to or have to be traumatized in the process.
This article has a point but is full of the blame and pain that I didn’t want to encounter Monday night.
A decade and a half ago – fifteen years ago!! – the Nshei Newsletter published an article on this subject. Alas, there was lots of criticism. Then Bronya Shaeffer did a whole series of lectures, with top-notch professionals, to raise awareness on this subject. Then, too, it was met with huge resistance. But these lectures did happen. Fifteen years ago all the rabbonin of Crown Heights met with Dr. David Pelkowitz, all the principals of CH met with him, there were events in the Rubashkin basement, and in the Children’s Museum, and finally in Bais Rivkah. This was FIFTEEN YEARS… Read more »
Regarding safety kids, NCFJE was a sponsor of that organization. I saw their logo on the back of one of the handouts. But when I went to a Rabbi at NCFJE for help with a divorce due to…guess what… I was asked, ” but how do you know it really happened?” I also thought more people would come. Wonder how many watched online. The event was so well done. My favorite part was when the speaker chose not to answer a question about how to view perpetrators. He said that would take away focus from the abused, which this particular… Read more »
How do I get your email address? I’m also a survivor and I want to be in touch
Thank you for speaking up and sharing your own experience. I was extremely disappointed that CH did not make this event a higher priority. I understand that it is a difficult topic but It is real and needs to be faced and addressed. Neshamos was courageous to keep this conversation going after the Chaim Walder scandal and I hope they continue to educate our community.
why shlep in the freezing cold when we can watch it online while cooking and baking??
why the judgment?
about 2000 people watched in online that’s a lot more then almost any other event in crown heights
It doesn’t mean you care less if you watch online than if you came in person. I watched the replay online, because I forgot about the event until I saw a reminder at 10pm that night, after the event had finished. But I also understand why it’s important to show up in person. I understand that my lack of physical presence was one face missing from the crowd, one chair left empty, and one too many hearts still hurting because it felt like no one cared enough to show up. Of course watch online if you can’t come in person!!… Read more »
Somehow every other event people find a way to show up …. This isn’t about what works for you or what’s convenient for you its about standing up for those who have been hurt and saying you are not alone, there is nothing to be ashamed about. The fact that so little people can SHOW THIER FACE – send a message way louder then words. Its perpetuating the feeling that victims already have- that it’s disgraceful, uncomfortable and there is no place for them. If we cant be comfortable hosting events and having a community Show up that sais alot… Read more »
So tone deaf? Someone wrote it and is possibly reading it. Isn’t this all about sensitivity?
So happy to hear so many people watched online!!!!!
At last count, the recording of the event had more than 2000 views.
https://youtu.be/YEmXzFAeB2E
I was personally there.
During the event, I looked online and noticed that hundreds of people were watching it live online…
Lots of people probably didnt know about it.
But even those that did, it wasnt really clear who the target audience was and what the focus was.
If people are going to go out on a freezing cold night, they want to know why.
Was not at all clear from the flyers what the event actually was.
Are we really to show up to every event that somebody makes, especially in the freezing cold?
It was available online and many did watch it. I’m sure that anybody who was asked by a survivor to attend to show their support, did attend.
This is equally important as a Yud Tes Kislev farbrengen.
Quite annoying that being a busy Jewish woman means we are doing laundry. How outdated!
Cleaning the clothes and home is holy work. One is preparing to enable a dwelling place for Hashem.
That you think of it, that way.
That’s literally not what she’s saying. She even understands that.
you can’t just let this person express themselves without trying to police the way this one little thing? Have a little compassion.
Everyone is battling something that you don’t know about.
Finacial stress, Shalom Bayis, Health issues, Kids issues, Aging parents.
It was online.
Dont think because i didnt come that I dont care.
I am dealing with alot .
I watched it online.
People are exhausted.
The weather doesn’t help.
My kids needed me.
I needed me.
I embrace you and wish you well.
It was my anniversary
We went out 🙂
It was freezing and parking is annoying
I would have watched it from home
And.. like third commentator said,
There’s anxiety around it for me as a parent too
And sometimes not getting overly involved helps me stay sane
I watch everything on zoom now, and almost never go out to anything. I watched the whole program, and got someone else to join me.You have to understand that there is an entire segment of the population that now uses zoom instead of in person attendance, and there are hundreds more in different time zones who watched the recording. I am sorry that you suffered so much, and I sympathize with your pain. Our community’s reaction to the recent scandal in Israel proved that our community is far ahead of the rest of the frum world in this area. The… Read more »
Well articulated.
It was freezing cold and it was streamed on line.
It seemed like an event that was geared to educate, spread awareness.
I didn’t see that there was a focus on showing up to support. If i saw messages on social media say to come and fill the room, i would have.
I think most people assumed watching online was the same thing.
Friendship circle also had something that night. I knew about that event earlier and it was an important one to go to.
Sexual abuse is happening in EVERY SINGLE FAMILY. Another point: mental health just recently started to be openly spoken about, before it was a shame and people would regard a person- crazy, when literally it wasnt coming from the person himself but from another party. And lastly: if rabbis cant control their community, then why should people show up? For another “show”? Before gimmel tammuz, no one EVER suggested: to report abuse go to the authorities. NO ONE! why? Because our Rebbe was here?! So no one couldn’t abuse “IN FRONT OF OUR REBBE?!” THAT FAR?! Rabbis have to support… Read more »
“Sexual abuse is happening in EVERY SINGLE FAMILY”
Wait wut
We made VERY sure of that.
She probably meant every community…
I’m sad that you think that’s true…
Sexual abuse doesnt mean JUST touching. Giving an “innocent wink ” is abusive already. How about most frum yidden like to live in denial and love to complain when someone does it to them or when the situation is getting worse?
To over exaggerate actually undermines the experiences of victims of sa
A wink is not SA. Misguided maybe, weird okay. But SA? SA is soul killing. Not a wink.
They can lead and inspire but they can’t make people do something they don’t want to on their own. Want change? Stop trying to manipulate and guilt people into doing things then learn to listen
I’m also a survivor.
I considered attending but as a parent to young children who lives out of the “CH artery” and doesn’t drive at night, it is very hard for me to get out for every event.
I hear you. I would have liked to be there, and we should have shown more communal support in person.
It was a colossal disappointment to not see more teachers, principals, and school administrators in the audience. School is supposed to be a safe place for children and the staff should have the proper knowledge to protect their students and be aware of these situations.
My wife is a teacher , the amount of events she has and needs to be at out if school take a big toll . Please don’t just jump the gun. Did I tell you that before that she had PTA and before that was listening to parents hurting . Just because teachers don’t come it doesn’t mean they don’t care !!! They do but are stretched very thin with family responsibilities as well.
We have these events every year now for at least a decade. The schools were heavily involved in the early events when this issue was first seeing the public light.
The schools are healthy now with this issue. They are even paranoid about it. There’s no need for the local schools to pretend that they have a systemic issue that do not have.
Strides have been made but to say they are being paranoid and there is no systemic issues is false. Sexual abuse is a pervasive issues in ALL communities. the insular of our community makes issues even more serious when they DO occur. Please don’t dissuade people from allowing this issue to be spoken about.
Agree that teachers and Mechanchim must be educated on this. But the talk didnt actually address how people need to respond to abuse and how to support survivors ( with the exception of Rabbi Brauns psak, that was a vital point). And I think arranging for in house mandatory training for teachers with practical steps and resources would be a more effective strategy.
Thank you for speaking up! I couldn’t agree more!
Tonight, my community planned to join together. Join to stand with our survivors. To stand with me. To stand with my brothers and sisters. To anyone impacted by sexual abuse. Unfortunately, it’s more than you’ll ever know. So we planned. We prepare, we advertised. And yet, when the time came, there was silence. Half of the chairs were empty. Flyers being ripped down. “It’s not appropriate to plaster it all over” “We shouldn’t be advertising sexual abuse” I try not to judge. To give the benefit of the doubt. I try to think that everyone had “something” that stood in… Read more »
Was it recorded? Not everyone is in Crown Heights, but I take the author’s point. The place should have been packed (as it was more than 10 years ago for a similar event.) But to be fair, the event then was in much warmer weather, and was not online. That probably is the reason. I wish the author peace and continued strength going forward.
I watched it online without having to be out in the freezing cold weather.
Kol hakavod Neshamos!
Hard for me to believe your worries about the ch community…I think there is plenty awareness about abuse in our community BH thanks to organizations like neshamos etc.
I know many ppl they were watching live
I am sorry to hear of your suffering. I was almost a victim when I was younger, but thanks to the kindness of friend, who told me to keep away from from specific individual, I was spared. Last time this type of thing was done in Crown Heights it was done with such a vengance , without the directives and consultation of any of the Rabbonim in our community, and it destroyed innocent families that are still suffering the consequence until today, over a decade later. The community is scared this is going to happen again, and so unfortunately for… Read more »
This means it is not so prevalent in our community. If it was, you can be sure, that a lot more people would have shown up. New Yorkers are not known for their shyness in showing up for such an event.
I really hope this was a mistake. You have got to be kidding me. It happens in our community all the time. Just as much as in any other. I was personally abused and I know way way way to many people who were as well. It’s an embarrassment that you can even think that.
I was shocked when I saw this comment!!! It’s attitudes like this that are perpetuating the abuse.
It saddens me to hear what you went through. As all survivors know that true healing comes when we no longer have a victim mentality, even feeling like a victim to a community who did not show up for an even that we made for people who have been through a most horrible experience in their life. May no one know if such suffering. Rome was not built in a day. Ask any successful person and they will tell you it takes time (and more often than not a very very long time), and a lot of effort to be… Read more »
Baruch Hashem we have many stories of the Rebbe with shluchim in this situation, who were disappointed by the turnout to their event. And always the answer is: focus on the people who DID show up. Whether it was 10 ppl, or 5, or 1. This event was for THEM..Thank them, show appreciation, and who knows what effect it has on the people who were there.
For many of the very best & most worthy causes the initial turnouts were pathetically poor, but the Rebbe always encouraged a positive, optimistic attitude and in the course of time things were proven to have worked out for the very best after all.
I have a child with special needs that I had to take care of. Please dont judge me for not showing up in person. I was there watching online as I do all events that take place in Crown Heights
I was out of country but would have come.
I once heard (from Rabbi Ashear) that “should have, could have, would have” can show a lack of emunah. The number of people at the event was orchestrated by Hashem. We don’t know why Hashem does what He does. On Hashem’s “level”, even a person being abused was somehow part of Hashem’s plan. Of course that doesn’t mean that we don’t empathize with the victim. It’s just that we don’t know why. We need to help bring Moshiach and get the answers.
Yes, it was important to show up to show support. I feel this topic has been opened up in our community for many years and unfortunately the problem continues. Was anything said that put forth significant solutions on the ground that will prevent this from being ongoing issue lo alenu?
You made an event, you wanted people to come, they didn’t. That doesn’t mean that they don’t support the causes the event stood for, it just means that they didn’t feel like going to the event. They may be doing other things to educate themselves about the topic and to support victims. Don’t misinterpret a lack of attendance as a lack of support, it does not follow. If I made an event in support of victims of theft, but you decided not to show up, would that mean that don’t support victims of theft? Of course not! It would just… Read more »
I would have come but it was advertised too last minute for me. I need 2-3 weeks notice.
I thought the advertisement was vague as well.
Was it for survivors? Parental awareness? Standing in support of those that have been abused. I live out of town but I’m not sure I would’ve ventured out to an event I don’t really know clearly if it’s for me.
I know so many people that would have showed up had they known about it. I did not know about this until someone just posted that they were disappointed that no one showed up.
BH I have a large young family and it was hard to arrange a babysitter and come out after a long day of work. But b”H my husband and I showed up. We showed up for you and every other survivor out there. Honestly it hurt to see the men’s side even more empty than the women’s side. After I left I felt a bit tired and wondered if I just should have stayed home and watched it live. This article reminded me how important my presence was. Proud to stand with survivors, you are are true hero’s and heroines!!!… Read more »
We need more people like you!
between supporting others and also taking care of yourself. Personally I was so grateful and happy this event happened, but it was too emotionally overwhelming for me to go in person. I watched it online and wish I could have been there live. It’s a very heavy topic and it’s a lot of bravery to ask of people to face something so terrifying head on. To add on top of that, that they should do so in a public room, ‘stuck’ in a seat, while hearing things that might be so overwhelming and intense – is not easy. For me… Read more »
To those who have a hard time accepting the authors message plain and simply, consider this: Every victim is left with the most difficult challenge of how to reconcile with what happened. For every abuse activist or victim that you know personally, there are multiple victims that are still living a tortured life in silence. They notice every chair at an event like this and whether the chair is filled or is empty. Your presence could be that extra push for them to get the help they have yet to find the courage to seek. The weather, zoom, your children’s… Read more »
So sorry I didn’t attend, and as a teacher I was intrigued and thought to. However, there was a parent event for FC and as a parent of a child with special needs I was there.
Don’t give up, the issue is important. Stay strong, the community is with you even if not at this particular event. May ‘ה give you strength and comfort.
I think that your idea of what this event was about lead inevitably to your misgivings about our empathy etc. I can’t speak for everyone, but I saw this event as an attempt to educate the community about abuse. It’s a really important initiative. We did not see this event as being about supporting the victims or removing stigma or shame. Not least because we don’t see stigma in having been a victim. The fact of the matter is that we are about a decade past the point where abuse was systemically pushed under the rug in Crown Heights and… Read more »
Dear writer, I am sorry for your pain. You were looking for support and didn’t feel it. Please know this: Our community supports you. We are aware of this issue and confront it head-on, without shame. In fact, we talk about it so much that many feel it is almost all they hear at educational events. There have been many events on this topic and everyone I know has attended or listened to many talks about it. Consider perhaps that many didn’t feel they needed to hear even more about it? Nevertheless, many did watch it – online. Contrary to… Read more »
I watched the entire event live because I think it’s a really important topic and everyone has a responsibility to educate themselves on it. The one thing I’ll say is it seemed like there wasn’t much practical information shared. Apart from Rabbi Braun stating his psak that reporting abuse is not only allowed but necessary ( and it is an incredibly important point), I wasn’t quite sure what we as a community and individuals were supposed to take away from it. The main speaker did a great job giving insight into the effects of abuse but I guess I was… Read more »
Don’t need to take anything specific from it. Just be there and show survivors that you took the time to be there for them
You’re a 100% right I’m sorry for not coming
I had something that night that I couldn’t miss
Sincerely sorry hope you will accept my apology I really wanted to be there
Without going into the why’s or excuses or addressing any of the comments here, I want to apologize. To the writer of this post, and all victims, I am so sorry for not showing up in person. I never dreamed that so many women would take the same low road as me and say “others will go, I’ll watch online.” I feel bad about this. Yes it would have been hard to find a babysitter (and yes given what’s been going on on this subject, I am a little paranoid about babysitters), but women in this community show up in… Read more »
I don’t go out to events now because of covid precautions. I did watch online, and it was a beautiful program. I was touched by the deep caring and concern of all the speakers. It wasn’t the only purpose of the talks, but the expression of caring in itself was quite healing. I’m a survivor of a one-time experience. I don’t have deep scars that could stop me from functioning, but it is what it is. I stand strongly with you and all abuse survivors and daven for your success. For a future program, someone could write on the flyer… Read more »
Im sorry i missed it.
Didnt understand it was an evening of showing support until it was too late.
For the author,
I’m sorry more people didn’t show up. I too think of our community as enlightened and where open speech about difficult topics is encouraged. So I guess I understand your disappointment. I just wanted to encourage you to keep fighting this milchemes Hashem. You will succeed over time. And BTW, you are an excellent writer.
1. Important topic, wished to participate
2. Saw one flyer/did not reach top of mind
3. Spouse was out. Would be significant hassle to coordinate.
3. Thought it was education, so planned to watch online. Would absolutely have made an effort if goal of support was clear.
I think everyone that is defending themselves in the comments should be ashamed of themselves. I am not a survivor of sexual abuse but when I came to the event, I was embarrassed of our community. I was at the Bonei Olam event a month ago and it was packed. There weren’t even enough seats for everyone. I was expecting the same turnout here, especially since it was for both men and women. There were too many empty seats and they spoke way too loudly. I understand that people are busy and it was cold but firstly, if it was… Read more »
And do you think that when Bonei Olam started, every seat was filled? No, infertility was considered a shameful taboo and people were afraid to be associated with it in case Gd forbid tragedy and struggle is contagious. It takes time. It takes effort. It takes a process of learning and seeing and getting less afraid of speaking about or hearing about a topic. Your high horse of blame + shame does NOTHING to help the cause you say you’re supporting. Perhaps take this opportunity not to bash others and tell them how they should be showing up, but to… Read more »
I understand that. I understand it’s not easy to show up. However, don’t go an excuse urself with why u weren’t there. Just stay quiet.
Also, I did show up for survivors. And I’m actually involved in a lot of mental health resources for survivors of sexual abuse as well as other types of abuse. I am a bit insulted by your comment because I went through abuse myself and you clearly don’t understand what that means to be a survivor.
The bonai olam event was advertised that people should just show up and come support. Which they did.
I hear you, sorry, but I even did not know about that event, and not about anything if it is not posted around first with a story, then with a targeted segment, then with a main purpose of the event. Maybe next time more people will show, the first event is to make the ground. If it was watched 2000 it is an Hazloha… even if it was really watched by few till the end – it is a big success.
We wish you be strong and continue your job of awareness
Gan academy was the only school who emailed their parents encouraging them to show up! Stepping up to the plate!!!! An event with a rav encouraging people to come!
Proud Parent!!
At least 250 people did show up. I know it’s painful and more should have come, I’m with you but I’m appreciating those that recognized this as an important event.
You put so much energy into the PR
and it was AMAZING.
Yes, this event could have Been painful and depressing, but instead it was digestible and powerful! If you listen to the FULL event you will find a The education and the beauty that was brought out so powerfully!
I am so sorry you felt abandoned. Personally I did not attend because based on the flyers I thought it was going to be people’s personal stories of abuse and while I am quite comfortable with my own story I still find it very very hard to listen to others and it triggers my PTSD. It sounds like you need the support of other survivors. There are support groups on Facebook and other places in person and online where you can talk to other survivors. Honestly as far as the world has come, even my not frum family is not… Read more »
Do you know 100 of family’s left crown heights wait a few more years and will be less , the real issues is no houses
Looks like the issue wasn’t about the topic at hand (SA is [widely] discussed in CH), but how it was marketed to the community. Please don’t try to paint the whole community as inconsiderate when it’s more likely a whole community clueless about what this event was and who it was for. Event should be sure the people they intend to invite know they are invited and why they should be there. Posters on Kingston are litter ‐ not effective communication… Perhaps this article should have been written before the event explaining why its important to come, with the time… Read more »
I salute shining light on destructive issues towards attempting to eradicate them. I salute Neshamos and its efforts. I’m ambivalent to and somewhat dissapointed in anyone who makes an event towards shining a light on a destructive issue and expects anyone else to come to the event “to show solidarity, support, etc.” You do you. If you think making an event that requires in person attendance is the way to shine light on something you feel is destructive, then, make it. But on what grounds do you allow yourself to require contribution by anyone else of resources (time, money, energy,… Read more »
WHY? Why do you feel the need to explain why you weren’t there? If the organizers wanted a packed hall, they should have made it very clear it would not be online. I think 2000 viewers means it is a topic that is taken very seriously! I honestly don’t understand the need to apologize. Yes, it would have been much more impressive/encouraging to see every chair occupied but sometimes, it’s just not possible. Some responses here to survivors and some observations (like it happens in every family – proof??) are just insensitive and ridiculous. Abuse exists, much of it is… Read more »
I don’t think people viewed this program as if they didn’t come then they didn’t support survivors. I understand why the writer is upset but I also don’t think the Crown Heights community is to blame. Not showing up doesnt mean we don’t support, especially if there was an option to watch live.
It seems the comment section here is divided into two main segments. Those in a huff, taking offense on behalf of our community. “How can you demand so much from us?!” ” Do you know how many events we have every night?” On the other side, there’s the gentler souls, those that truly couldn’t make it. Friendship circle event goers, the many parents with small children at home, the elderly for whom it would be unwise to venture out in the cold. I appreciate that the author put their feelings on the internet. And of course, people will defend themselves… Read more »
I can’t speak for people living in Crown Heights, because I am an “out of towner” myself. However, even I had to make a decision whether or not to partake in such an important event. Why? Because I do care about my children and other children in my community. Monday night was Purim Katan and our community arranged a special event for parents and their children in honor of the yom tov. When every issue is the most important issue (and believe me in reality there are many “most important issues”, e.g. physical, emotional, verbal, sexual abuse, all forms of… Read more »
I wonder who exactly was catered for. Sexual abuse is very serious and must be treated as so. Going in person would be amazing, but partially it was not clear who it was for. A friend of mine mentioned going, i was like, wow thats nice. I couldnt make bc of baby, but at the same time I wish I did. It is still a big taboo and issue in our comunity. Once the word “sexual” is out, its like, what? Are we talking about this? The community is growing and getting more and more in tune with all the… Read more »
People didn’t realize that showing up would make a difference, that others would notice their absence. Now they do… let’s keep making more events like this to show that this is really what we are about