By Levi
When I was in elementary school, I was like a lot of other boys. I wasn’t particularly interested in learning, I was more just waiting for the days to go by.
Of course, we had tests all the time like any other school, and then as we got to the older grades, we started having a few tests in a different way than we were used to. We would sit down with our Gemara in front of a Rebbi from mesivta or zal, and the test would be to read the Gemara out loud – to read and translate what we were reading to the best of our ability.
There was one time that I was not particularly prepared for such a test. I sat down across from one such teacher, and he asked me to read a particular piece.
I had an Artscroll Gemara with me. The Rebbi didn’t want me to read directly from the Artscroll, which would make it easier for me (understandably). So he turned it to a page that I was less familiar with, and he asked me to read from that. I started reading and tried to explain to the best of my ability, but it so happened that he picked a piece that I did not know well, so I did not do that well, and was unable to successfully read it with the correct translation and explanations.
The Rebbi looked at me with a stern look, like I’m a major disappointment, and he says, “The way you are going, I don’t see you making it through Mesivta.”
Those words haunt me to this day.
The thing is, I not only made it through Mesivta, I made it through Zal, I made it through Shlichus, I made it through Semicha, and Baruch Hashem today I am a frum yungerman, married with a daughter. I learn 3 perakim of Rambam every day and I learn Chitas of course.
I see this Rebbi all the time, I thought of confronting him so many times, but I never did.
He’s a very popular Rebbi today, I wonder what he would say if I would remind him of this story. Would he excuse what he told me as a 13-year-old boy, or now that it’s 15 years later he learned that this is not the way to educate, and it’s certainly not helpful to say such hurtful things to children for not knowing a piece of gemora as well as he hoped?
Every time I see his face, I want to tell him, “I told you so,” or perhaps, “how could you?”
My hope is 2 things:
If he happens to read this article and remembers this story I hope that he regrets what he told me that day, as I do consider what he said hurtful and just wrong.
Secondly, I hope that any educator or parent reading this takes this story as a lesson, that every word you tell your children or students has a tremendous impact – and it works both ways.
Never underestimate the power of what a negative word can do, and if this applies to the negative how much more so does this apply to the positive?
Wishing everyone only the best and hatzlacha rabba!
Unfortunately, we haven’t always had our best and finest working in chinuch. Baruch Hashem, that’s been changing in recent years. I hope a story like yours never repeats itself
Sadly, there are still a handfull of family owned Seminaries that are still hiring their children, (nepotism at it’s best) despite their destructive behavior towards students, thereby hurting the youth in 2023….
The question is, why are parents not more vocal about these these destructive “educators” ? in some cases the parents are just as unsuitable to be educators.
thinking out loud…
This phenomenon of incompetent educators controlling Lubavitch schools is hurting Lubavitch more than anything else. First, there needs to be accountability for hiring teachers and administrators. Without a board, the “Non-profit” gets to employ unhealthy people who then go on to damage our youth. Why are we trying to do outreach when our very own are being hurt. We need IN-REACH. We need Schools and Seminaries to be accountable to a board, just like every non profit organization. This urgent matter applies to each Lubavitcher Chosid as the Chinuch is where it counts most. Hiding behind mystical cities and verbiage… Read more »
In 70 years Singapore went from a third to first world country, they did so by implementing one key rule: Give the job to the best person best suited for the job. This rule span from Government to the private sector. in 70 years Singapore became the one of the top places to live in the world because of business, real estate, quality of life……..
When I was in eighth grade I had a over the phone test to get into my mesivta I prepared the day before by learning from a artscroll When the test came I read the piece I prepared and he said he was able to tell that I was using an artscroll and he made me read another piece which I obviously didn’t know at all Besides for being extremely embarrassed and uncomfortable he told me that what I did was dishonest and I would never be able to make it through the system And he was right I didn’t… Read more »
No one can decide for someone else if they will “make it through the system”.
Perhaps a change of Rebbi, class or Yeshiva is needed or some support in some areas.
Maybe if he hadnt said what he did, and encouraged you instead, you would have made it through mesivta
But as a long time teacher in crown heights, and as a student myself who didn’t like learning very much, I’d like to say it’s time teachers and schools focus on making children love yuddishkeit. Tests are a reflection on the teacher,Tests are good once in a while but not as the main focus of a school.hatzlocho.
Many years ago I made a comment to my student about constantly coming late,it wasn’t done in the right spirit.i didn’t realize it at the time.
When his father brought it to my attention 20 years later,I appolologized to him and his father and it rectified the situation.
When an adult realizes that they hurt a young child, teen etc they should apologize. This cannot only help heal the hurt feelings but also be a good lesson that no one is perfect and it’s not above anyone to make a mistake and to ask forgiveness.
No one is perfect
When I was in eighth grade in Toronto. My teacher kept on saying I will not succeed and be some a regular bochur and he’s was absolutely wrong. Thank u for this article
It will only get better if the teachers are called out
Thanks for expressing what some of us always wanted to tell our teachers, principles and peers…
I was told you wouldnt get married because you didnt go to seminary or camp…
I was told you wouldnt make it in life being a good person but must be nasty to survive….
I’m happy and proud that all went with faith in our Rebbe that you can and will succeed! Yogati umatzase taamin!
A rabbi who is greatly looked up to in crown hts told me 40 yrs ago that i may not get a shidduch for another 20 yrs and since the rebbe didnt tell him directly to do anything he isnt obligated.
I never forgot his hateful words and it affected my connection to the rebbe and yiddishkeit at the time.
His hateful words came true unfortunately as he made me lose all hope.
The rabbis or rebbetzins who are great in the community, destroy lives because they are THAT low. since they have a status and they know you will disagree with them – they will tell you in your face “you are not chabad.” By this “throwing YOU out of the community!” When THEY are the ones NOT JEWISH AT ALL, let alone chabad. I try to tell people DO NOT believe in inhumane people however “great” they seem to be. Believe in Hashem and our Rebbe words. What would Hashem and our Rebbe say about you or your situation? Believe in… Read more »
this comment is full of untruths
It’s important to bring this directly to the rebbi’s attention, making sure he learns from this. Not assuming he’s reading this article. It can be done by sending a letter
( even anonymous )
I have a clear recollection of who you are.
You were a genuine Oholei Torahnik.
Your driving force was to contradict your teachers.
I informed you that you wouldn’t succeed.
My intention was for you to use it as fuel to prove me wrong.
It brings me great pleasure that you dedicated the following 15 years doing that.
I am elated that your endeavors were fruitful.
If we cross paths again, please express your gratitude.
Love,
Rabbi S.G.
Sort of. Initials but not name. I get it though. Who wants to identify themselves here. And I was thinking of that you might have that perspective now. Who knows if this poster was driven to prove his teacher wrong. BUT. And this is a very big BUT (semi pun intended). I highly doubt any teacher would have such an intention when making such a shtech. If this story is true and if you indeed are the perpetrator, I highly doubt you had such lofty intention either. And but even if you did, the extreme risk of putting down a… Read more »
I am a caring teacher, I never make it personal, i strive to fully understand my students, and my only goal in my job is to help my students feel successful and love learning. i have received wonderful feedback from hundreds of students and parents. i promise you that under certain circumstances there is room to tell a student something like this, with no anger or malice, but just saying reality as it is, sometimes (rarely) the student need that wake up call to stop making excuses for himself. The student may hate you for it, the student may even… Read more »
I was waiting for someone to make believe he’s the rebbi and answer. So you decided to be the one.. Bravo.
Gratitude for the pain you inflicted? What a self-serving comment!
My grandson received a similar dressing down by a rebbe who was later lauded as an “educator.” Big title for someone who caused considerable harm. Unlike this author, my grandson was not “spurred to prove him wrong.” On the contrary, he just wanted to get as far away from that mesivta as he could. I daven that some day he’ll come back to Yiddishkeit.
Sickening is not the word, you have no place as a mechanech in no school You need serious help if when you ABUSED a student with words and an extremely hurtful negative prediction which hurt him to know end ( he still feels it today!!) And he’s had to ignore that horrible outlook of yours and despite you, succeed – HE DID NOT GROW FROM YOU ONE BIT!! HE MANAGED TO GET THERE DESPITE YOUR DISCUSTING AND DAMAGING PREDICTION YOU HAVE NO PLACE IN ANY SCHOOL, OR RESPONSIBILITY OF CHILDREN, NEVER MIND A SCHOOL OF THE REBBE You think the… Read more »
This is what we call being blown out of proportion. Tell me why you think you have the authority to call this teacher abusive. This is a strong word that should never be used out of context. THIS IS NOT A WORD TO BE USED LIGHTLY
Let me just add that
This guy I’m sure is fine, he doesn’t care about this teacher and definitely doesn’t care about what he said,
But the point that he is making is so valid and it should be a wake up call to all those old un self aware people who have no clue how damaging they are
This the way teachers should work not thinking straight but deeper in sometimes its good to offend a student for good results
I assume that your comment was written satirically, and that is also insensitive. But if it was written genuinely, please consider resigning from your position. You had pain festering in a student for years and years, generated by you, and you aren’t eager to apologize, just arrogantly double down on stupid insensitivity?!
So whether you’re writing satire to raw emotions or legit the subject of the post, not cool
This definitely isn’t the teacher and is some random dude pretending to be. Don’t believe it
The sad part is this is probably not the teacher. It’s probably another one of the many teacher who used this method. BH, the directive of Chinuch by Friediker Rebbe are now main stream, but in fact, the directive of love and sensitivity were always the firm directive. These words of the Friedikeh Rebbe came to mind after reading the authors letter. “The Chassidic Needle: A Chassidic gathering often involves the injection of a medicine into the body with the prick of a needle. Chassidim rebuke one another regarding their character and behavior. These rebukes, though motivated by an inner… Read more »
Love this!
How did everyone else in this comment section lose their sense of humor?
Or maybe they are all pretending to have no sense of humor 🤣
There is no doubt in my mind that what the teacher said was wrong, and that this article can serve as a good lesson to teachers, parents, and everyone else. But.. . If you are carrying around hurt from a comment that was made 10 or 20 years ago, it’s your problem. People need to learn to forget and forgive. We all make mistakes, including teachers, parents and others. Unless we’re talking about situations of serious abuse or trauma, we need to learn to forgive others and move on. If you can’t do it, find someone that can help you… Read more »
True, all are best served by forgiving and moving on. But no one can tell another what is serious trauma and what isn’t (except MAYBE one’s professional psychologist or mashpia). Just like an earnest compliment received from an authority figure when one is young, can shift life powerfully positively, so too the inverse. The work necessary to forgive a hurt experienced when young is very difficult. Don’t downplay it. Beneficial, yes. But flippantly prescribe it, nah.
I don’t agree!!! You could never take back your words! They hurt and they scar, I’ve had many comments for being not the best academic student, and they hurt till today many years later. Nothing to do with forgiving or forgetting! Some teachers just don’t belong in that role for whatever reason! The point is think before you talk!
It seems that the writer of this article hasn’t let the teacher’s comment negatively impact his life. He is raising an important point about awareness that teachers should have. For one student, they can pick up and move on. For another, they may be very disillusioned and stop trying. The fact that this forme student is successful today doesn’t mean he shouldn’t bring up this story for others to learn from
I had a Mashgiach in Mesivta who would take you off the attendants sheet and would not consider part of Yeshiva if you don’t show up on time. he would also get the Bachurim to confide in him with the promise that he would not share any information with anyone then turn around and tell the parents everything and in some cases the Bachurims parents would throw them out of the house because of what they where told by the Mashgiach.
2 sides to every coin
Agree
The landscape of today’s adults is littered with the carnage of such “effective” and “well-meaning” education. Many people I know have their approach to themselves and learning almost permanently scarred by their experiences at the hands of “mechanchim” in their youth. I’m not cutting all mechanchim. Just this type of chinuch.
I also had that same problem growing up, and today I’m a regular essential worker, with a family living paycheck to paycheck. I’ve been thinking of this for years to myself (as who’s going to listen to me) Here goes. Why in the English speaking countries do majority of students are only taught in the language of English? Translate from English to Hebrew ONLY? Why is it that most students have no education of speaking Hebrew/Yiddish? Why in other countries like Europe, South America……you name it……..students are speaking fluent Ivrit? (And Yiddish) Why in the America and other English speaking… Read more »
My fathers a”h was asked by the Rebbe to test the yeshiva for many years . My father told me ” everyone thinks I go to test the children, no! I go to test the Rebbies “. One time he came home and said” this time I see you have a fantastic Rebbe” That was rabbi Garfinkel. He was truly out of this world he put you on your feet for the rest of your life. Rabbi Garfinkel also had a saying “I did not come to teach you, I could teach you for the rest of your life. I… Read more »
Education requires the carrot and or the stick.
Based on your testimony and current state of life the stick clearly worked.
I mean for heaven sake! he told you “The way you are going, I don’t see you making it through Mesivta.” Those are probably the words that drove you to improve.
Good on you (and him) for becoming the man you are.
With the greatest Kovod. I implore you to retract your article.
Wishing you continued Hatzlocho on your journey.
The power of life and death is in your words.
I want to acknowledge a Rebbi that changed my life for the better. I was in elementary school and struggling in class to learn. This goes back to the late 80’s. We had a big test that I failed miserably, my Rebbi approached me privately and told me take home the test, study with my father and he will let me retake the test the next week. He said it with such care that it inspired me (a 11 year old kid) and I studied really hard. I retook the test and got 100%. The Rebbi made such a big… Read more »
I feel this so much!!! Thank you to your Rebbe for treating you with such love. I am gladdened to hear the positive effects!
please share his name so we can know who this wonderful teacher was
I would theorize that maybe this teacher is the reason you have been have been successful in yeshiva . Receiving a wake up call is never pleasant at the moment but it helps motivate us for the future . It clearly did have a big effect on you as you remember it so perhaps this rebbe is responsible for making a Chassideshe bachur !
Can’t be, because my son was reduced to a nothing much earlier on – by his 2nd grade Rebbi who, decades later, is still on the job. Presumably he is still humiliating and destroying other little boys who struggle. My son is also a success story! He went through the system, got Semicha, married a wonderful girl from a great family, has a thriving business and is very involved in all things Chabad, especially in chinuch. He is a frum yungerman, a baal chesed and a baal tzedaka, raising his own children with the same values he was taught. These… Read more »
My daughter was in a school where the girls would go over for shabbat.
And the teacher used to talk loshen harah about the girls that were not there those shabbosim.
I had a classmate who told me that all the abuse I had experienced was mostly fake and all in my head, and what was real should be easily gotten over. She almost made me doubt my own life experiences by putting me down with her hurtful words. She claimed it was all said for the sake of my growth and bc she cared, but if you really care about someone then you should give advice and criticism and mussar in a kind way. Her words still play in my head and make me feel badly about myself. What you… Read more »
a similar thing happened to me with a friend. The words still sting and prob always will, but broken people try to break others. This classmate sounds like someone in pain and I daven that these people get the help they need to heal so they stop taking their anger and self hatred out on others. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Teachers need to pay attention to every single student that they are teaching too.
The point was to motivate you, and it worked! Thank him next time you see him…
He succeeded because of a snide teacher? Many success stories are in spite of detractors. Not to their credit. Maybe the poster would be considerably more self confident and successful if not for that teacher’s apparent negative influence.
I was a fantastic teacher … but I made many mistakes to get there.
Writing such articles is important, but consider that maybe his mistake was made during his “learning” years.
It takes time to learn the ropes and do it well.
Ty for sharing
We can never stress enough the importance of sensitivity
I am a a teacher! I teach 3rd grade Boys! I have 15 boys in my class, it’s not easy, but I do it with a smile every single day, because when I see that they can learn Chumash on their own, and they can write or read Hebrew fluently it gives me Nachas! What a teacher of any grade can and should do and say in a classroom can take years to learn. This is my first year teaching and BH I have learned from my mistakes and am accepting and receiving all the positive reinforcement and training I… Read more »
You already have a you vs them attitude. Me vs the parents. “Telling them how to do their job”. He described his experience as a student. Wasn’t randomly telling people how to do their job. And the proof is in the pudding. The best teacher is human and makes mistakes. But if the mistakes are their primary legacy, i.e. they are very mistake prone, then they don’t deserve to be in the classroom. Just like a very mistake prone pilot doesn’t deserve to be in the cockpit and a mistake prone surgeon doesn’t belong in the operating room. It’s not… Read more »
Dear Levi I’m so glad so came out ( somewhat) intact from all of this. You are a strong lucky one because not everybody does! Honestly I do think you should confront him so this gives him a chance to do teshuva because I beleive teachers like him have a special place in gehinom for destroying children in such a way. But I also beleive in giving him a chance to do better! Some people don’t deserve and shouldn’t be teachers and it’s so extremely painful to read your story because unfortunately my kids have also been on the other… Read more »
people just say whatever rude thought pops into their head and then claim that “the truth hurts” or “i say this because i care” or “i just want you to grow.” all that may be true, but that doesn’t give anyone the right to talk down to or belittle another human being. the things i’ve had said to me have set me back years and have caused so much internal doubt regarding my own strength
there is a teacher in a girls high school who told me I would never amount to anything or get married or have kids. i already had self confidence issues but she made me feel so much worse about myself. still struggling to recover from the pain she caused and i worry for the girls who now have her as a teacher
This community lets anyone become a teacher. There’s no degree or qualifications or experience required. The majority of this community is employed in chinnuch because it’s an easy guaranteed income. Does every woman you know teach? Is every man you know a rebbi in some school? True chinnuch is difficult and rewarding and meaningful, but what goes on in these schools is just a way for adults to pass the time while collecting a paycheck
When I was in mesivta I wasn’t a studious kid but I tried to get by and not make trouble. One time someone came to farbraing for the whole mesivta and Rabbi — asked me right beforehand to go to the store to get some food, when I came back it already started the the person farbraing gave me a weird look as I walked in holding a lot of stuff in my hands and he said in front of everyone “some people that’s all their good for”. Something like that took me a few years to realize how harmful… Read more »
This person has issues. Don’t take it personally. I know I’d feel terribly hurt to hear that, but any mature adult, let alone “Rabbi” that can demean a person to elevate themselves, have a very broken inner self. What he said speaks volumes of his issues and says absolutely nothing, other than you are a good enough person to want to shop to make sure your friends have food at their farbrengen. Hope you can internalize that it’s his issues, not yours, thereby freeing yourself from his hurtful pathetic comment. And if you do have the strength to confront him,… Read more »
I went over to my 11th grade Rebbee to say hi. He looked astonished and asked “You’re still Frum!?”
this takes the crown, I feel ya my man. I have few favorites of my own such as “I can’t believe you guys are brothers” (to the younger brother who was a little behind). Also, “It’s a good thing I’m pushing your son, it’s because he has potential” (my son stopped going to yeshiva for last few remaining days, Rebbi called surprised where is my son). Another good one is father negotiating tuition was told to leave because “I don’t want you to have a heart attack in my office”. That being said, there are some tremendously good teachers, and… Read more »
When I was in 8th grade, my teacher told my future Rosh Yeshiva for Mesivta that I don’t have a chance in being successful learning in Yeshiva, BH he was wrong, although I hardly learnt in elementary, I did very well in Mesivta, Zal etc. The funny thing is that years later I started teaching and that teacher had a son in my class, BH I made sure he Takeh learnt and was very successful.
Till this day I am very thankful to my Rosh Yeshiva for believing in me!
This article is a mirror of the story in the Talmud Avoda Zara 17a. Rabbi Elazar ben Dordaya had transgressed many sins. One time while sinning with a certain woman of ill repute, she commented to him that he will never be able to do teshuva. He won’t make it! This triggered him, and caused him to do complete teshuva. A Divine Voice emerged and said: Rabbi Elazar ben Dordaya is destined for life in the World-to-Come. Telling a person that he is “hopeless” or “will never make it” is sometimes THE best way or THE only way to get… Read more »
Your comment is absolutely offensive. It isn’t the Rebbes way of education.
The Rebbe always taught to be positive focus of positivity and be extremely cautious how you speak to children / students.
Your back minded mentality is a path and cause of 100’s OTD.
You should be utterly ashamed of your comment here.
I hope and pray you do Teshuvah one day soon.
You have the right to disagree with the Talmud and even be offended by it. But that changes nothing. The Talmud is our guide. That’s what we follow. Not you new-age feelings of positivity and everyone’s a winner approach. Come back and join the traditions of our father’s. They are tried and true. And will outlast the approach of treating bochurim as fragile fine china.
If my comment offends you, book an appointment on my couch for therapy. As a kop doctor, people like you keep me busy.
Are you on the level on Rabbi Eliezer? People are on a different level then our Rebbe and you are giving Rabbi Eliezer’s reference? Anyone on the level on Rabbi Shimon bar yochai? A “miracle” he was forced to stay in the cave because of the Romans otherwise the Zohar wouldnt have been written. Why dont you go thank the Roman’s or the Greeks for what they did? Or Paroah? Interesting though, why did Hashem even punish the mitzrayim? Unbelievable. We are meant to BE GOOD PEOPLE! NOT cause harm for the sake of maybeeeee if it’s meant itll turn… Read more »
The way you think will never make it. Now try to prove me wrong.
You just proved to yourself that your orginal comment was incorrect.
I asked a question on the material in class and was told, “what are you stupid?”. I still get triggered when the word stupid is used in a sentence and associated with a person, even in jest.
A teacher praised a student to a principal reiterating what a fine girl the student
is but she was late for class. The principal who is from an affluent family
had some difficulties with understanding this girl couldn’t bear the truth and
tried to use her “power” to counter the teacher’s good impression of this girl
to no avail.The student was close enough and heard this conversation…. The
principal wonders to this day what she did wrong….. This principal used her
“power” to raise or lower whoever she chose.
Oh wow. 52 Comments at this time. I’m sure it’ll go over a 100 if COL permits. As I reflect and reminisce my youth. I cringe to remember those times when trying to get into the next Yeshiva. Post ULY OP Bochur I’m would advance to Morristown. Finishing up with Rabbi CH. M. Bukiet and Rabbi Ushpal 35 years ago. I went to be tested by the Rosh Yeshiva then (one may know who. But names I wouldn’t mention). I was tested. Honestly I didn’t do well. I was not accepted in Morristown. And that’s ok. I understand there are… Read more »
The small system called Yeshiva doesn’t deserve you. Welcome to the big universe. We love you as you are. I’m saddened by the hurts you suffered as the result of insensitive comments from insecure and unprofessional people in educational positions and which cost you your social support system. Life cuts sometimes. But please shine on wherever you are.
I think the article is amazing thank you so much I experienced the same thing I think that mechanchim have to be careful with what they say . I would like to comment on I had the same thing I would like to quote what Rav Ahron Steinman ztl said which is similar to what the rebbe says there was a mechanich that asked him if there is a Bachur in yeshiva that is weak in learning should he join the Nachal Charedi in the army his answer was a bachur that is weak in learning but he is a… Read more »
I’m sure those words were very hurtful. And as a parent I would be so upset if someone spoke that way to my son.
That being said get the courage to go up to him and show him who you are today. That would be the test. He may be overjoyed to see you successful. That would show that his words were meant to introduce you to reality and give you the power to grow. If he frowns upon seeing you today then we know that he was trying to beat you up and BH he wasn’t successful.
Confront him in a respectful way.
You could have an impact on countless other students’ lives.
if this wasn’t shared yet, please consider watching what the Rebbeh told my revered father-in-law Z”L
8 minutes in.
https://youtu.be/iGYXJnRGHLc
Just watched your shared clip. Precious. Thank you for sharing.
so YTT is based on Yeshiva Chasim Sofer, in that Yeshiva if there is a problem with a Student they have a system of Tutors who after many years if they are up to speed become Teachers, there is also a pre-Mesivta program which will identify any problem a child has asap. Well know there is room for improvement is anyone even looking on how to change or that is too much….Have a nice day oh and Moshach now
My sons Rebbe got drunk at a Farbrengen and started telling him off on what a “good for nothing” he is. It’s a few years later and he still didn’t get over it completely. But I went straight to the Rebbe and confronted him, and squeezed an apology out of him. Rebbe’s and teachers can “make it” or “break it” for a kid. Please, dear teachers, always remember that!
The Kotzker asks why does The Torah need to say Ish???
We know he was an Ish??
He answers, before being a big Tzadik FIRST be an Ish ie a MENTCH!!!
Sickening how any Rebby, Mashpia or even a human being can be so insensitive! Lesson : Be a MENTCH!!!
Unfortunately the focus of some schools is to use Chumash, gemora, Mishnayos to learn Yiddish. when Yiddish is not a language some students understand, they end up not only not speaking Yiddish, but also not understanding Aramaic or Lashon Hakodesh, and not knowing how to learn these subjects on their own. This language barrier prevents people who may be good learners from being able to learn. It is important that when these subjects are taught, that they are taught in a language that the students understand. Perhaps we need a separate language learning course for Yiddish, Lashon hakodesh, and Aramaic.… Read more »
Good for you that you made it despite the biting comments that have left you such an impression on you that you talk about as if it just happened today. I can still remember today, 35 years after leaving Yeshiva, who was nice and encouraging and who wasn’t. I was kicked out of more Yeshivas than I was accepted to, and yes. I also do 3 Perakim Rambam. It would be helpful for you to view it from a different angle in order for you to a better perspective. This would help you let go of the pain. Most well… Read more »
Sadly this goes on as well in the girls schools yes it’s not every teacher it’s one or two that somehow do not like children/teenagers yet still teach seriously as a parent and last student blows my mind the kids these days are so vulnerable positive reinforcement is all that’s needed
To the teacher in france who answered my question about tefillin with “your brother asked the same stupid question last year” and shut off my participation for good, I hope you’re reading this.
I am so sorry I am horrified beyond words that my comment hurt you and still hurts you now so many years later. You are a special person; resilient, strong, smart, motivated, idealistic, and full of faith, This was the person you always were, you were a special boy then as you are a special man now. it is not a wonder that with hard work you have so succeeded. I don’t recognize myself in your story, I wish I could take back those words that hurt you so I know there is no way I can and for this,… Read more »
you knew that bringing an artscrool Gemara to the test was a way of blowing off the teacher, and yes cheating, I asked you to read another Gemara that you were responsible to know, I offered beforehand to learn it with you one and one, but you always claimed that you knew the material and did not need review, it was in this context that I said that without more effort I can not see you succeeding in mesivta. . I am not excusing myself, I was the adult in the conversation and the responsibility was all mine, I bow… Read more »
When I was 12 years old my Rebbi told me, “You are a gornisht. Your father is a gornisht. And your zeideh was a gornisht. Once there is a row of three generations that are gornishts, this entire family will always be gornishts.”
Instead of crying, I looked at my Rebbi and replied, “Rebbi, you are a shoyteh, and a ben shoyteh, and a ben beno shel shoyteh. Lo yomush shtus mimcha l’olom.”
And that’s why I got expelled from yeshiva.
But I turned out okay.
I feel so bad that you suffered. It must have been painful to be expelled for simply reacting to a wrong. Two wrongs don’t make it right to expell you. The rebbi should have been expelled!
Dear Levi, I’m horrified by the experience you are describing. I wish your “teacher” quit being an “educator” which he clearly is not and took another job where he cannot ruin young people’s lives. At the encounter between Moshe Rabenu and Hashem at the burning bush, Moshe asks Hashem what merit the Jews have to be taken out of Mitzrayim and Hashem replies to Moshe: בהוציאך את העם ממצרים תעבדון את האלה-ים על ההר הזה. Hashem is teaching Moshe a fundamental lesson: don’t judge people based on what they have or have not done in the past, rather judge them… Read more »
The teachers approach may have been insensitive and hurtful but as one who receives the message- we learn in Chassidus and as you point out in your article you are one that learns- being the recipient I believe it is our task to utilize the compliments or criticism to uplift ourselves. As the Rebbe wrote in Hayom yom “cherish Criticism” – and it seems like you have- you took what he said and didn’t let it shape you. You persevered! Not trying to belittle the pain that we all could feel in our youthful years from people we expect to… Read more »
Suddenly having a little bit of bittul is terrible?! Have we all become snowflakes? Fragile. Delicate. Snowflakes.
If a rebbi tells a bochur that he is a shvantz, oy, that rebbi is shechting the bochur?!
Kush in tochos all of you lefty snowflakes.
What if some of these mean-spirited heartless educators heard similar negative words directed towards them? Plain and simple, it’s a shame. It does not represent Chabad well. Unloving and negative approaches do not belong in places where our prescious children spend time. And it’s time for attention and accountability to this horrible lack of rachmoniss.
So many Rebbi’s will begin searching their consciousness to see so many times they said that to so many students……
It’s true, teachers are very influential and what they communicate to their students has tremendous power.
What this teacher did was wrong.
What’s also true is that the disrespect for the teachers in the community and the incredibly high standard we hold them (evident in this comment section) coupled with a salary which is not great is not so attractive to the competent people we want in the classroom
B”H
I think the lesson from all these comments are: how sensitive and kind we have to be to others. We live in a time where we have big chasidim & yerei shomayim, they are particular & meticulous about performing mitzvos. However when it comes to אהבת ישרא-ל it’s a whole different story. Let’s be kinder, gentler, & friendlier to one another. Which will ultimately usher in the age of moshiach.
I teach many hours each day. That means I am talking and talking and talking.
And I do this every day, every week, year after year.
What are the odds that sometimes I will say something that is hurtful or foolish? If 90% of what I say is beneficial, you simply need to ignore the 10% of what I might say that is hurtful.
A 90% on a test is a great accomplishment.
Would you be able to talk for hours each day and always say brilliant inspirational things? Or would you sometimes say something foolish and regrettable?
This article is a mirror of the story in the Talmud Avoda Zara 17a. Elazar ben Dordaya had transgressed many sins. One time while sinning with a certain woman of ill repute, she commented to him that he will never be able to do teshuva. He won’t make it! This triggered him, and caused him to do complete teshuva. A Divine Voice emerged and said: Rabbi Elazar ben Dordaya is destined for life in the World-to-Come. Telling a person that he is “hopeless” or “will never make it” is sometimes THE best way or THE only way to get that… Read more »
U think that story is bad, I was in a Chabad misivta, a very chassidishe one, and in shiur beis my magid shiur asked me to read the gemoro and I failed miserably to say the least, and he told me with anger in his eyes: “why are you wasting your parents money being here, NOTHING will come of you!! You have no hope!” (I’m sobbing as I write this, 14 years later…). I was so broken, I felt like a total loser. Slowly I drifted off the path of yidishkeit, dropped the yarmulka and Tzitzis, stoped keeping shabbos, and… Read more »
My very strong opinion of this based on my own work of being hypersensitive and needing to learn that not everyone who says something that is not super soft is out to hurt me, actually no one that says something hurtful is out to hurt me… (bcz even when they do it’s really their own issue) What the Rebbe said wasn’t egregious. He didn’t tell the kid he was an idiot, he stated a fact. “The way you are going, I don’t see you making it through Mesivta.” Could he have said it nicer? For sure. Was it a helpful comment?… Read more »
This was yesterdays Hayom yom: courtesy of Chabad.org. My father once said to a Rav, who labored in Avoda and was an especially diligent scholar: A Rav must remember at all times and at every moment that he always stands on the threshold between being one of those who bring merit to the public and, G‑d forbid, one of those who cause the public to sin – the threshold between the loftiest of heights and the most abysmal depth. All issues must touch him at the innermost core of his soul, literally, because his very soul is at stake. This is indeed a serious matter… Read more »
No one is asking you to be brilliant or inspirational all the time; however, a teacher’s mindset should always be kind, caring, and understanding of the preciousness of every single student they service. That mindset can be there 100% of the time. Every great teacher I have ever met carries that mindset, that truly gifted educator’s bearing. Those that do not meet that expectation should have better training under an umbrella of accountability.
Everyone here needs a good nights sleep, a cup of tea, and a lotta chill and ahavas yisrael.
Interesting article, just like any other one, no need to turn it into modern day gog umagog with all the terminology that comes along
I agree with the teacher. He is just so right. I cannot understand what so many people have against him and what he said. Cant anyone see what all this ovewrflowing chesed and love have done to our generation? We are raising spoiled children who think they own the world and are entitled to everything. We have to remember that: OFTEN REBUKE IS KEY!!!!! Often all THAT children need is to know that they are wrong and then they want to prove themselves right and will shape up. I am an old man with a lot of experiance. I find… Read more »
Seriously!!!!! just beacuae your older dosent make you smarter
The Rebbe even said that the younger generation is smarter and has more potential maybe its time for you to open your mind and heart i feel bad for you granchildren if this is how you behave to them maybe you need a good taste of Chinuch