The Rov Who Actually Cared

By Hadassah Chen

Hadassah Yasa.

That is my full name and there was only one person in the world who used it in full when calling me. It was Rabbi Gershon Mendel Garelik OBM, the Head Shliach of Italy and the founder of the Rabbinical Center of Europe, whose Shloshim is being marked this week.

I remember spending a summer at Villa Bozio in Tuscany, home of the Pardes Chana camp for girls (and Camp Gan Israel Italy for boys). It was once the studio of the famous sculptor Jacques Lipchitz and donated to Chabad upon his passing. The year must have been 1984-85, and running the camp was Rav Garelik and Rebbetzin Bassie Garelik.

I didn’t feel well one day and stayed behind as the rest of the girls went on a day trip. Later, when I felt a little better, I took a stroll around and saw the Rov sitting on a chair in the middle of the grass. He was wearing a big pair of tzizis and was singing as he was immersed in learning. It was like he was in a world of his own.

And then he noticed me.

“Hadasse Yasse,” he called out. It was only years later that I learned that he had a sister named Hadassah who passed away at an early age.

“Are you ok?” he went on to ask. “Why are you here alone? do you need anything?”

As an insecure overweight and embarrassed child, the fact that the “Rov” of Milan would care about a 10-year-old was incredible. I just remember staring back at him and wondering if it was real or I had jumped in one of those Baal Shem Tov stories they would tell us in camp.

While I did feel special in such moments, this was Rav Garelik’s attitude to practically everyone he encountered throughout his illustrious life. There was an aura of positivity around him as if it emanated tranquility and peace.

It was pretty much a sight to see Rav Garelik walking down the streets of Milan. People stared at him thinking he ran out of a painting from the 18th century. He looked so polished and elegant with the white beard, the dark kapota, black hat, and that amazing smile that he wore everywhere.

Whether he smiled at guests at a fancy event with big dignitaries or at the waiter at the cafe on the street corner where he and his wife drank their morning espresso in plastic small cups, the smile was the same. The Rov loved and spread love. Everyone liked him, the Sefardi community, the Italian synagogue, the Syrians, the Lebanese, the Ashkenazis, and the Lubavitcher Chassidim, of course.

As I grew older, I was very close to Rebbetzin Garelik yet also merited to have Rav Garelik take interest in my life and be there for pivotal moments when I needed encouragement and uplifting like the day I wasn’t feeling well in summer camp.

When my younger sisters got married before me, I felt like I was the only single girl on the planet. I was scared and hurt. I was sure that people think there was something wrong with me and that is why I was not getting married. I was terrified of ending up alone.

Rav Garelik sensed that and every time he saw me visiting my parents in Milan, he would ask me that same question. “Are you ok? What can I do to help?”

Even though the Rav spoke Italian, English, Yiddish, and Hebrew, we didn’t have a common language. I would start in Italian, he would answer me in Yiddish, so I would switch to English. It always felt a bit awkward. But I also knew that he cared and that his care was sincere.

While I was dating my husband-to-be, the road wasn’t a smooth one. I would call Rebbetzin Garelik for a listening ear and advice. There were moments when I felt heartbroken and was sure it wasn’t going to happen. I would end up alone after all.

Then I received a phone call one day while I was staying at my cousin’s house in Jerusalem.

“Hadasse Yasse?”

I was shocked. It was Rav Garelik himself.

Without wasting time, he went straight to the point. “What can I do?” he asked. “Tell me what to do and I will do it. I am not giving up on you. We are with you.” He made it clear that he was not going to rest until the crisis I was in was to be solved.

A few weeks later, I was engaged to Yossi Chen.

When Yossi came to Millan for the wedding, the Gareliks kindly hosted him. By then they had already been living in the house on Via C. Poerio 35 whose facade was a replica of 770 Eastern Parkway. The Gareliks lived on the middle floor and on the top floor was a library and small room where Yossi slept.

On the morning of the wedding, my chosson Yossi woke up very early and went to the mikvah which is located in the basement of the house. Heading downstairs, he met Rav Garelik who was pleasantly surprised to see him getting up so early in order to get ready spiritually.

Yossi served in the Israel Defence Forces and those are the hours you rise. Nonetheless, Rav Garelik was quick to praise him. He reported to my parents as to what a great man my future husband is that he rises early in the morning.

In a world where we often tend to misjudge people without really knowing them, Rav Garelik was a complete exception. He wanted to see only the good, the positive, and the strength within another person and how to get the best out of him or her.

A few years later, after we had lost our daughter Navi, my husband and I went on a hot day to the bus station to pick up visitors from out of the country. When I Rav and Rebbetzin Garelik making their way off the bus with a little bag I felt like crying.

They traveled to Israel to be with us and made their way on a bus in the heat to provide us comfort. Did they want to eat something, rest a bit and freshen up? No. All they wanted was to visit the gravesite of my daughter.

We made our way down the narrow path that takes us to Navi’s grave and they both of them just stood there davening under the beating sun. They said many chapters of Tehillim. They didn’t speak and they didn’t need to. I just needed their presence. The image of them standing together praying by my daughter’s grave will never leave me…

In my youth, my friends and I would often refer to Rav Garelik as the man who looked like the Rebbe. His devotion to the Rebbe was so strong that even physically he looked like the Rebbe. We all were in awe.

I am honored to have had the Rov in my life and honored to have been raised as one of his “children.” May his neshama rise higher and higher and watch us from above with his beautiful smile and come back soon with Moshiach.