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Saturday, 12 Sivan, 5779
  |  June 15, 2019

    The Road Your Child Must Travel

    Watch: Mrs. Dena Gorkin, renowned educator and founder of Bnos Chomesh Academy in Crown Heights, presents educational insights every parent should watch. Part 1: Healthy, Happy, Frum. Video

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    The BEST ever posted on COL
    Guest
    The BEST ever posted on COL

    From a parent of Cheder Our Menachem and Beis Chaya Mushka.
    Dena, you hit a homerun with your words.
    Super proud of everything you do
    Your dedication is exemplary.
    We wish you only success

    Sound
    Guest
    Sound

    I don´t want to be critic, love the message but please take care of the sound for your next videos

    So important!
    Guest
    So important!

    And painfully true

    OK, but what about
    Guest
    OK, but what about

    Kids who are not depressed, anxiety-ridden, or unhappy?
    The premise is sound, but the over-simplification is not.

    Very good
    Guest
    Very good

    Enjoyed this clip and would like to see more

    Number 4 -missing the point
    Guest
    Number 4 -missing the point

    What mrs. gorkin is saying, with so much sensitivity, is that a wise parent will LOOK to find out what is wrong, because something definitely is, if the child is acting out.
    Its easy to look at the child on the surface and say that everything must be fine because the family or other circumstances seem fine, however there could be some issue that may seem not a big deal to you but is a huge deal to the child, and is affecting their emotional health.

    Our kids
    Guest
    Our kids

    If we would bring up our kids as our parents guided by their parents n Der Heim
    brought us up we would have a most wonderful generation
    Just look thank g-d at us what a dugma Chaya we are
    Look at our children and einechlech
    No need for these fancy “ educators” in our camp

    Many times
    Guest
    Many times

    Note that she says many times a parent will come to her. The Chabad community has to be careful that all the children are not being cloned to fit in the same straightjacket

    Wise words...
    Guest
    Wise words...

    Dena, this seems obvious when you say it, but it’s news to so many! Lecturing a depressed, unhappy child about Yiddishkeit will most likely have the opposite effect. Kol hakavod to you for creating a school environment in which more girls can find health, happiness, and with Hashem’s help, their connection to Torah and mitzvos.

    To #7
    Guest
    To #7

    Which fancy educators do we have in our community that you have no need for? I see that most of the people in our community who dedicate themselves to Chinuch, and Mrs Gorkin at the top of the list, are shining examples of our Chassidishe values.

    Important message
    Guest
    Important message

    Mrs.Gorkin’s message is extremely important, the road she speaks about is exactly correct. However it should be noted (and she should have noted it) that not every child that dresses without perfect tznius and comes to the shabbos table in pajamas is depressed and/or has emotional issues. That is a critical point that needs to be added to her wise words.

    Today and yesterday...
    Guest
    Today and yesterday...

    So on point. I am happy for this generation that has someone like you who recognizes this but as a baal tshuva, we did not have this when raising our kids and todays off the derech, and at risk youth are the result of lack of compassion, insight and training on the part of administrators and teachers who instead of seeing the writing on the wall only saw ‘inappropriate behavior’ as opportunities for punishment and to kick kids out. So I am happy for this generation that we have menchanchim as yourself but Hashem help us with the results of… Read more »

    THANK YOU
    Guest
    THANK YOU

    BEAUTIFULLY SAID

    LMHC
    Guest
    LMHC

    If a child had been raised frum and is not so frum now it is a symptom. The number one thing is to show the child that u care about him or her as a whole, It takes a lot of care and work but all children are worth it

    Parents have to be a Dugma
    Guest
    Parents have to be a Dugma

    Very often we see children who are less frum then their parents. However their parents are less frum then their grandparents. The generations are becoming weaker.

    To #7 - Sorry to be blunt, but...
    Guest
    To #7 - Sorry to be blunt, but...

    Wow what a dugma chaya you are. look at what a generation you guys raised.

    Saving the next generation
    Guest
    Saving the next generation

    Ignoring #7 because looking around our children are crying out for menchanchim like Mrs Gorkin. BH many of our kids are doing well, but we must be cognizant of those who are not and do whatever we can to give our children what ever it takes to keep them healthy, happy and then frum.

    to #11
    Guest
    to #11

    Actually, the child who would come to the Shabbos table in pj’s is indeed acting out emotionally. I may be wrong, but you seem to be implying that such dress or behavior may simply be the child’s expression of their lack of connection to the sanctity of the Shabbos table or to Shabbos in general. Consider this, however: if they were not having emotional issues they would not seek to express their lack of connection by being rude and insensitive to others at the table, others to whom they know full well Yiddishkeit and the Shabbos tish mean so much.… Read more »

    18 some people are just weak
    Guest
    18 some people are just weak

    One person might say loshon hora. Another may be just too lazy to get out of pajamas. If it was so easy then we wouldn’t need Tanya because we’d be perfect all the time. For a non observant jew, a kipa on shabbos is a one time deal. No commitment each and every day

    # 16
    Guest
    # 16

    We did B”H
    # 17,you may chose to ignore
    But truth it is
    Fancy ways has not created a better generation
    Just walk down Kingston Ave for a live demonstration

    To #18 and 19
    Guest
    To #18 and 19

    18 – pure idiocy. and we wonder why kids are the way they are these days.
    19 – tis true. beautifully said

    happy
    Guest
    happy

    What’s the definition of happiness ?
    Some parents might be too busy making their children happy, buying them things, giving into everything, nit setting boundaries, all in the name of happiness. The question is, what is happiness? What do you need to do to make your child happy?
    Children are aware sometimes of the need for parents to make them happy and can abuse that ‘right’
    Maybe you can explore in your next video what ‘happy’ means and how can parents achieve this for their children.

    LMSW
    Guest
    LMSW

    While Mrs. Gorkin raises some valid points, we must also understand that adolescents do and will act out as part of their growing process.It does not necessarily mean they have emotional or mental health problems.It is quite normal for them to question the status quo, adult authority and religion for that matter. Communication, validation of feelings, and a positive home environment with healthy boundaries can help most teens through their struggles.

    Back to the point
    Guest
    Back to the point

    I think the point was that when parents are frantically asking a Mechaneches to reverse their daughter’s decline in frumkeit you First have to see if the other boxes are checked off. Because if the girl isn’t healthy or happy it’s kind of pointless to pick on her frumkeit. It’s a great point and i quoted it to a couple of people this week it just makes so much sense. Don’t sweep everything under the carpet and pretend like the only issue is the frumkeit cuz often it is not.

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