ב"ה
Sunday, 21 Tishri, 5780
  |  October 20, 2019

The Road Your Child Must Travel

Watch: Mrs. Dena Gorkin, renowned educator and founder of Bnos Chomesh Academy in Crown Heights, presents educational insights every parent should watch. Part 1: Healthy, Happy, Frum. Video

‘Chessed’ Stressed at Bais Rivka

Next Story »

Tehillim For Mom in Car Accident

24
Opinions and Comments

To keep track of your comments, follow a conversation or flag a comment Login
avatar
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
The BEST ever posted on COL
Guest
The BEST ever posted on COL

From a parent of Cheder Our Menachem and Beis Chaya Mushka.
Dena, you hit a homerun with your words.
Super proud of everything you do
Your dedication is exemplary.
We wish you only success

Sound
Guest
Sound

I don´t want to be critic, love the message but please take care of the sound for your next videos

So important!
Guest
So important!

And painfully true

OK, but what about
Guest
OK, but what about

Kids who are not depressed, anxiety-ridden, or unhappy?
The premise is sound, but the over-simplification is not.

Very good
Guest
Very good

Enjoyed this clip and would like to see more

Number 4 -missing the point
Guest
Number 4 -missing the point

What mrs. gorkin is saying, with so much sensitivity, is that a wise parent will LOOK to find out what is wrong, because something definitely is, if the child is acting out.
Its easy to look at the child on the surface and say that everything must be fine because the family or other circumstances seem fine, however there could be some issue that may seem not a big deal to you but is a huge deal to the child, and is affecting their emotional health.

Our kids
Guest
Our kids

If we would bring up our kids as our parents guided by their parents n Der Heim
brought us up we would have a most wonderful generation
Just look thank g-d at us what a dugma Chaya we are
Look at our children and einechlech
No need for these fancy “ educators” in our camp

Many times
Guest
Many times

Note that she says many times a parent will come to her. The Chabad community has to be careful that all the children are not being cloned to fit in the same straightjacket

Wise words...
Guest
Wise words...

Dena, this seems obvious when you say it, but it’s news to so many! Lecturing a depressed, unhappy child about Yiddishkeit will most likely have the opposite effect. Kol hakavod to you for creating a school environment in which more girls can find health, happiness, and with Hashem’s help, their connection to Torah and mitzvos.

To #7
Guest
To #7

Which fancy educators do we have in our community that you have no need for? I see that most of the people in our community who dedicate themselves to Chinuch, and Mrs Gorkin at the top of the list, are shining examples of our Chassidishe values.

Important message
Guest
Important message

Mrs.Gorkin’s message is extremely important, the road she speaks about is exactly correct. However it should be noted (and she should have noted it) that not every child that dresses without perfect tznius and comes to the shabbos table in pajamas is depressed and/or has emotional issues. That is a critical point that needs to be added to her wise words.

Today and yesterday...
Guest
Today and yesterday...

So on point. I am happy for this generation that has someone like you who recognizes this but as a baal tshuva, we did not have this when raising our kids and todays off the derech, and at risk youth are the result of lack of compassion, insight and training on the part of administrators and teachers who instead of seeing the writing on the wall only saw ‘inappropriate behavior’ as opportunities for punishment and to kick kids out. So I am happy for this generation that we have menchanchim as yourself but Hashem help us with the results of… Read more »

THANK YOU
Guest
THANK YOU

BEAUTIFULLY SAID

LMHC
Guest
LMHC

If a child had been raised frum and is not so frum now it is a symptom. The number one thing is to show the child that u care about him or her as a whole, It takes a lot of care and work but all children are worth it

Parents have to be a Dugma
Guest
Parents have to be a Dugma

Very often we see children who are less frum then their parents. However their parents are less frum then their grandparents. The generations are becoming weaker.

To #7 - Sorry to be blunt, but...
Guest
To #7 - Sorry to be blunt, but...

Wow what a dugma chaya you are. look at what a generation you guys raised.

Saving the next generation
Guest
Saving the next generation

Ignoring #7 because looking around our children are crying out for menchanchim like Mrs Gorkin. BH many of our kids are doing well, but we must be cognizant of those who are not and do whatever we can to give our children what ever it takes to keep them healthy, happy and then frum.

to #11
Guest
to #11

Actually, the child who would come to the Shabbos table in pj’s is indeed acting out emotionally. I may be wrong, but you seem to be implying that such dress or behavior may simply be the child’s expression of their lack of connection to the sanctity of the Shabbos table or to Shabbos in general. Consider this, however: if they were not having emotional issues they would not seek to express their lack of connection by being rude and insensitive to others at the table, others to whom they know full well Yiddishkeit and the Shabbos tish mean so much.… Read more »

18 some people are just weak
Guest
18 some people are just weak

One person might say loshon hora. Another may be just too lazy to get out of pajamas. If it was so easy then we wouldn’t need Tanya because we’d be perfect all the time. For a non observant jew, a kipa on shabbos is a one time deal. No commitment each and every day

# 16
Guest
# 16

We did B”H
# 17,you may chose to ignore
But truth it is
Fancy ways has not created a better generation
Just walk down Kingston Ave for a live demonstration

To #18 and 19
Guest
To #18 and 19

18 – pure idiocy. and we wonder why kids are the way they are these days.
19 – tis true. beautifully said

happy
Guest
happy

What’s the definition of happiness ?
Some parents might be too busy making their children happy, buying them things, giving into everything, nit setting boundaries, all in the name of happiness. The question is, what is happiness? What do you need to do to make your child happy?
Children are aware sometimes of the need for parents to make them happy and can abuse that ‘right’
Maybe you can explore in your next video what ‘happy’ means and how can parents achieve this for their children.

LMSW
Guest
LMSW

While Mrs. Gorkin raises some valid points, we must also understand that adolescents do and will act out as part of their growing process.It does not necessarily mean they have emotional or mental health problems.It is quite normal for them to question the status quo, adult authority and religion for that matter. Communication, validation of feelings, and a positive home environment with healthy boundaries can help most teens through their struggles.

Back to the point
Guest
Back to the point

I think the point was that when parents are frantically asking a Mechaneches to reverse their daughter’s decline in frumkeit you First have to see if the other boxes are checked off. Because if the girl isn’t healthy or happy it’s kind of pointless to pick on her frumkeit. It’s a great point and i quoted it to a couple of people this week it just makes so much sense. Don’t sweep everything under the carpet and pretend like the only issue is the frumkeit cuz often it is not.

X