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Thursday, 27 Adar I, 5784
  |  March 7, 2024

The Last Date Before The Right One

Blog by Hadassah Chen: At the age of 28, I was all but giving up on shidduchim and simply ready to marry the next person I met... Full Story

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Appreciative
July 31, 2019 8:55 pm

Thank you so much for sharing!!
Thanks for the chizuk!!
Much happiness!!

Really nice shidduch story,
July 31, 2019 9:19 pm

Thank you for the chizuk!

Thank you
July 31, 2019 10:07 pm

Thank you for sharing your story.

But, for every story like yours, there are about 5 others with the other outcome. They’re still single. It doesn’t always work out in the end.

It does - it just might take longer
Reply to  Thank you
August 1, 2019 10:22 am

Hashem has a plan for everyone. I am a grandmother. One classmate waited till about 30 to get married. In my sister’s classes, 1 never married. My daughter has a few 29-30 year old friends still seeking their bashert – but it will IY”H happen!

Thank you!
July 31, 2019 11:37 pm

There are many of my friends that tried to make other people happy and only a few caught it on time the others either are married and unhappy or divorced. The moral is don’t make anyone else happy make sure you are happy! it’s your life..

Haddassa
August 1, 2019 12:46 am

Love your story and a lot of good points . Ps you ain’t no frying pan my friend 😘

Nice story
August 1, 2019 1:01 am

Nice lesson and a glimpse of hope

Great article
August 1, 2019 1:40 am

Really enjoyed your writing! Humorous and entertaining

You write how unhappy you felt at the thought of settling but end off your article basically saying that people should just settle and stop looking for perfection….how does this align?

from Hadassah Chen
Reply to  Great article
August 1, 2019 9:56 am

you right sounds a bit contradictive! but I say also in the end of the article “stop looking for perfection” its a message to parents, (myself as well), the pressure we can put our children to get the “best” will make the children cs make a wrong choice just to release pressure, but being more “open to options” could make you “fall” into what seems like settling but ends up being the best. Hope its clearer. be well!

Thanks for clarifying that!
Reply to  from Hadassah Chen
August 1, 2019 5:04 pm

My heart fell a bit when I got to the end and you wrote that we should “settle”. Thanks for clarifying and thanks for sharing your story!!

The pressure we singles feel from our parents’ hopes and sorrow is such a huge burden to carry that is almost never addressed. Thank you so much for sharing.

from Hadassah Chen
August 1, 2019 3:23 am

Reading your comments I totally hear you, not all stories end like mine and I myself have friends who married because they felt under pressure and made a wrong choice. I will write on that as well, it’s a topic for sure to “talk” about. I am sorry if I came across too flaky maybe for some, I write exactly the way I feel and felt, bh I was lucky, but I always believe the best has yet to come, and hope for you too 🙂 . Have a great day. Hadassah p.s. for private answers you can write to… Read more »

Note from Jacqueline ChanaLeah Nunez
Reply to  from Hadassah Chen
August 1, 2019 12:52 pm

Dear Hadassah I loved this write up and feel it was important to share with all that want to read. No one person has the same journey or path, but just reading yours should give hope to all that H-shem runs the world and we should look to the future with hope. Take care and best wishes, Jacqueline ChanaLeah Nunez

from Hadassah Chen
Reply to  Note from Jacqueline ChanaLeah Nunez
August 6, 2019 1:29 am

thank you dear Jacqueline, we miss you…

😍😍Thank You for Sharing
August 1, 2019 1:04 pm

@HadassahChen – I am Very Happy for you❣️ I recognized your name immediately, as I am one of @Eitan Freilich’s fans/ friends in the U.S.. Yasher Koach & continued peace & happiness with your Bashert!🙏🏻🙏🏻

Never Settle...From a Marriage Therapist
August 1, 2019 3:08 pm

While I appreciate your honestly in sharing your story and background, I find your advice extremely dangerous. Marriage is not a goal in an of itself. It is a journey and the wedding is only the start. A healthy marriage requires two people who, as different as they may potentially be, have common goals and views in the most important areas. While there is no question that there is no one perfect and one must be honest with themselves as to their non-negotiables and aware of their own limitations, finding the “right” person for someone is by no means “settling.”… Read more »

Thank you for saying this!
Reply to  Never Settle...From a Marriage Therapist
August 1, 2019 5:07 pm

She clarified her last lines in a comment but thank you for sharing this… so so important and reassuring for singles to hear!

If you wrote dating articles with your experience and advice as a marriage therapist I would read every word 🙂

from Hadassah Chen
Reply to  Never Settle...From a Marriage Therapist
August 1, 2019 5:37 pm

I thank you first for taking the time to share your view from a professional point of view! my article was meant to be humorous and in no mean, I’m giving here classes on how to marry, I know how hard is the time of shidduchim from a girls point of view and parent too, and I try to alleviate by sharing my funny true stories. You have to read me between the lines though, as my “settling” here in the end punch line is meant to be the opposite of its meaning but I chose to use it sarcastically.… Read more »

Never Settle...From a Marriage Therapist
Reply to  from Hadassah Chen
August 2, 2019 2:11 pm

I understand you were using the term “settling” it in the context you mention, but to clarify, I am not just referring to the final sentence (and nonetheless, words matter so the wrong word should never be used, even in jest). What would have happened if the previous date had wanted to continue? There is so much pressure, especially for “older” singles to marry, that had your mother been so excited and had the man wanted to continue, it sounds as if you would have been willing to push yourself into a life-long commitment with someone you knew was wrong,… Read more »

from Hadassah Chen
Reply to  Never Settle...From a Marriage Therapist
August 3, 2019 2:17 pm

That is exactly why I HAD to share it, because I know personally good friends who fell in that mistake and did get married and eventually got divorced that I shared my story. Again I say, bh I was lucky as if could have ended in a different way for me so with my story I want to give hope… the real guy might just be around the corner, the right one! just trust Hashem.

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