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Tuesday, 16 Iyyar, 5779
  |  May 21, 2019

    The Issues with the “Bain”

    Op-Ed: Lately, an unusual custom has arisen where some gather on late Friday afternoons "Bain Hashamshos" to eat, drink and schmooze. Full Story

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    Jack
    Guest
    Jack

    BS”D I think you have your facts mixed up. I have observed 2 Bain’s-one took place in a house Friday afternoon and broke up well before Mincha; the second in a Shul with a well known Mashpia took place after Mincha and Kiddush

    Not only recently
    Guest
    Not only recently

    This has been going on for years in yeshiva, and I never partook in these beins since I always knew there was a problem with this, thanks for bringing this topic up. In addition to the above mentioned, most of these people participating in the beins usually miss davening mincha with a minyan as a result of this, and then show up drunk to davening kabolas shabbos, which is not respectful to hashem. Unfortunately many a people who do beins I feel in my opinion don’t care as much about what halacha says, from my experience.

    Shiduch
    Guest
    Shiduch

    In my Shiduch seeking I always make sure he’s not Bain guy. Theirs a goouishkiet about it

    Thank you for printing this
    Guest
    Thank you for printing this

    As a mother of young men, I think in some circles there can be social pressure to attend these “bains.” I hope this article, and the discussions it spawns, will put the pressure of halacha on people to stop.
    An additional issue Rabbi Citron or others may want to address: saying L’Chaim Shabbos morning on mashke before learning Chassidus.

    To #3
    Guest
    To #3

    Oh my goodness? Is that a thing now? Like there are “bein guys”? That’s an actual category you have today? I’m so sorry you even have to think about such things. Yes, hanging out and eating and drinking after shkia is not okay. I had no idea it was so prevalent.

    bain!
    Guest
    bain!

    some of the guys go after bench licht to a bain and dont go to davev minche and kabolas shabbos till way after the davenen has finished ! the sad part is to see young couples freshly married and the girl does not know how to handle it ! and for the fathers how do you think your children will grow up with a tatty going to bain instead of going to shul

    To all commenters...
    Guest
    To all commenters...

    I am a proud “Beiner”, I don’t do it to be cool, rather to enter Shabbos with an added simcha.
    I don’t mean to offend anyone with my actions (although I lose out on #3 for a shidduch…..nunu 😉

    Shabbos In Shul in General
    Guest
    Shabbos In Shul in General

    I appreciate this article but this doesn’t deal with the larger social issue that is going on in shuls, people do not want to davven. The Bain, Kiddish Club, and talking in shul are the consequences of a lack of appreciation for davvening. I never understood why there was a mitzvah for coming to shul by itself but in today’s day and age I get it as some individuals never even make it into shul proper with all the extra curricular activities going on outside. We have a davvening crisis and it is getting worse. Shuls have waved the white… Read more »

    The Women Work Hard
    Guest
    The Women Work Hard

    Also, when a woman works hard to prepare a beautiful delicious meal and the guys (sons, sons in law etc) arrive full, not hungry, and out of it (due to alcohol consumption), its just plain not fair.

    Number7
    Guest
    Number7

    Question:
    Is it ok for me to be un-tznius or eat not kosher food to add in simcha so I can ivdu es Hashem besimcha?

    Thank You
    Guest
    Thank You

    Thank You for filling your article with sources. I hope no one argues with legitimate sources from the shulchan aruch and gemora. That’s just sad.

    What would the Rebbe OB'm say?
    Guest
    What would the Rebbe OB'm say?

    What would he say about the lack of proper appreciation for Shabbos davening and for following halacha in general and the crisis of anti-Semitic attacks that are increasing.
    Would he say there is no connection?

    Thank you for finally bringing this up!
    Guest
    Thank you for finally bringing this up!

    This is a new disease. The matzav of this generation in CH is very troubling. This is just a symptom.

    People and there opinions
    Guest
    People and there opinions

    Tzu vishin mir un dir all those people who are complaining about this whole bain shbang don’t have friends and never got invited to a Bain so they are just on the side giving there opinion that know one cares about

    Toda Raba
    Guest
    Toda Raba

    Rabbi Citron thank you so much for clarifying this.

    On a personal level I have no time for this “bein” before Shabbos im very busy helping out around the house so my Aishes Chayil can enter into Shabbos in a ” heightened ” state after putting so much love into preparing our familys Shabbos meal.

    Great article
    Guest
    Great article

    Yasher koach

    @comment 14
    Guest
    @comment 14

    I don’t think that is a very nice thing to say when ppl are giving there honest opinion

    To number 9
    Guest
    To number 9

    That’s why we bein with greens come hungrier to meals and daven more bekavana 🙂

    To comment 12
    Guest
    To comment 12

    The Rebbe is alive so you’d point is moot

     Waking up on the wrong side of the bed!
    Guest
    Waking up on the wrong side of the bed!

    I’m sorry that you have not been invited to any “Bains” before so you do not know what going on.
    However there are many different types of “Bain’s” so of them are done in a proper way, for people that are busy all we can finally catch up with friends.
    And as in everything in life, everything is in time and place and how it’s done.

    To #14
    Guest
    To #14

    Best comment!! 10 points

    מקור של הדין
    Guest
    מקור של הדין

    The origination of this so called “shtus “ comes from ספר השחות פז. It speaks about how chassidim erev shabbas would drink some mashke and get in the state and mind of shabbas.
    And for those who were wondering about the shiddush it says in a famous letter of chassidim of the rebbe maharash that a chassidiisher eishes chayil is someone who used to let her husband get slammed by a farbrengan.

    Former Bein addict looking for a shidduch
    Guest
    Former Bein addict looking for a shidduch

    You’re saying maybe I should marry a snag

    Misunderstanding
    Guest
    Misunderstanding

    Your article shows a misunderstanding to the whole Bain concept.
    First of all many bains are actually proper shabbos meals and considered as such, most bochurim don’t go eat another ‘shabbos meal’ and if they do it’s just another meal not the shabbos meal.
    Secondly proper Kiddush is made before the Bain so not to worry about that either (vedal)
    Thirdly I don’t know about your bochurim in Miami however the Bains I’ve seen are usually beautiful farbrengens, ones with nigunim, shelves achim etc. So please pick your battles and focus your attention on other relevant issues that we face.

    to #14 amazingly spot on!!!!!
    Guest
    to #14 amazingly spot on!!!!!

    crazy how people find the least important things to write up about. and then there are those who encourage it in the comment section. guys if you are looking to be a satmar hater looking for issue go to wilyamsburg and throw away your smart phones (which BTW internet is a lot worse then a bunch of bochurim saying lechaim). i suggest you start acting normal, get friends and you’ll be invited to a bain. enjoy.

    to # 3
    Guest
    to # 3

    maybe if you got your priorities straight you would’ve gotten married…

    Here come the Bochurim
    Guest
    Here come the Bochurim

    And here come all the Young, immature Bochurim coming and justifying themselves…

    Very prevelant
    Guest
    Very prevelant

    Unfortunately, the root of these issues run deep. It’s not a CH issue; rather it’s an issue that begins early on in yeshiva

    Kiddush club
    Guest
    Kiddush club

    I’m glad someone brought that up. I think it’s a real Chillul Hashem & disrespectful to the rabbi when so many young men leave the shul in the middle of davening & go to the kiddush room for a l’chaim & whatever else they eat.What kind of example are they setting for their children?

    אין דבריו נכונים בכמה דברים
    Guest
    אין דבריו נכונים בכמה דברים

    א. אין אכילת עראי ד’בין’ מהוה סעודה בשום מובן הלכתי. ואי לזאת כבר אין איסור בשתיית משקה המשכר יותר מכביצה אחרי שעה עשירית בע”ש, דהרי מקורו של הקצות השולחן שהביא בדין זה הוא ממשנ”ב סי’ רלב, והתם יהיב טעמא כהמג”א דהחשש הוא שמא ימשך בסעודה, ובמילא באכילת עראי אין בכך כלום. ואדרבא, תלמוד ערוך והלכה פסוקה או”ח סי’ תעא חמרא טובא מגרר גריר, וכ”ש יי”ש כאשר רואים בחוש.

    ב. איפשר לקדש בביה”ש, ופשוט.

    ג. כמש”כ הוא בעצמו כבר קדמו בזה כ”ק אדמו”ר רבינו, ואין מש”כ כאן אלא יהודה ועוד לקרא.

    To number 12
    Guest
    To number 12

    You sound like אותו האיש מבני ברק who caused the rebbe incredible pain who said that the holocoust happened because of our עבירות you probably never learnt parshas noach before where rashi hakodosh points out that although the people rebelled against G-D they weren’t killed cuz of the אחדות which they had so by you saying that they yidden are suffering cuz of bein just sound very oisoi ho’ish inspired and mentally retarded exactly the opposite of Judaism’s opinion and you dont sound like a Lubavitcher and very un-experienced in the rebbe sichos and general goal which the rebbe says… Read more »

    To NJ umber 12
    Guest
    To NJ umber 12

    What are you saying obm for. You must be not chabad. Oy vay

    Bein is a terrible epidemic
    Guest
    Bein is a terrible epidemic

    Started in deadtroit and c”v spread. It’s a deadly cancer. Bochurim are now having Bein HASHmashos with hash brownies. Oy vey! A Bochur that joins beins, shows on his rotten core and bad character traits. Would never want my daughter marrying one.

    About Friday Night Bain Hashmoshes
    Guest
    About Friday Night Bain Hashmoshes

    It says in pirkei ovois, that Friday night Bain hashmoshes, so Yesh oimrim that “Noilad Mazikim”… I am thinking if it’s not an “open Nevuoh” on today’s Friday night Bain hasmoshes parties.

    Not average jo
    Guest
    Not average jo

    You don’t know what your talking about modern older boys do this it is not a thing to look into by shiduchim you sound like a bunch of little high school girls because maybe you are 😊

    Going down hill
    Guest
    Going down hill

    I’m a Bochur learning in 770 and all I can say is that many parents sadly have no idea and are completely unaware of what they’re boys are doing. I have been on shlichus to a zal which many will consider to be from “the top” and it’s vary sad to see how many Bochrim have this issue of drinking. Many boys in many Yeshivos have this problem of drinking, what makes it worse is that they make as if it’s Chasiddish and it’s the right thing to do – which is wrong and against Halacha, and against the Rebbe’s… Read more »

    Shabbos on a high
    Guest
    Shabbos on a high

    Some take weed as well

    ???
    Guest
    ???

    a frum ehrlicher yid, of corse a chosid should be in shul for mincha, learn somthing between mincha and kabolas shabbos, a sicha, a maamar, maavir the sedrah, and thendaven kabolas shabbos, and then go to eat seudas shabbos with family or with other bochrim in a holy shabbos spirit. this is what regular frumme chesidishe yidden do. this bain thing does not come from kedusha and yiras shamayim.

    This is just a bunch of social outcasts retaliating
    Guest
    This is just a bunch of social outcasts retaliating

    This is a retaliation from the people who weren’t cool enough to be invited to our Beins and kiddush clubs trying to shut them down. Maybe they should have spent less time trying to police everyone else and more time being socially normal.

    To #3 shiduch
    Guest
    To #3 shiduch

    Are you serious?! First the white shirt came a thing, now this is too?! It seems like people are getting cought up in the chitzonyus when looking for a shidduch!
    The shadchonim have to get better terms to define bachurim and stop creating false labels.

    Lol
    Guest
    Lol

    This was a good laugh…
    Plz pick your battles….

    Woman Bain invite
    Guest
    Woman Bain invite

    Hey everyone,
    I’m a young ChaBaD girl but with it , living in ch and my friends and I have a Bain for us girls every week !
    It is in my opinion a great way to socialize with friends and discuss our weeks and what we wish to accomplish in the following week.

    P.s to number 3
    A friend of mine met her husband at a Bain and they have been happily married with kids for over 5 years bh !

    an experienced Beiner
    Guest
    an experienced Beiner

    JUST FYI – its BEIN not BAIN!! – if you are going to complain about important farbrenging time for bochurim at least spell it right

    This is a lack of chassidishkeit
    Guest
    This is a lack of chassidishkeit

    No excuses can disturb the facts. I dont really care if this adds in your ‘simcha’ or helps you feel socially at ease. Can we all just say this how it is!?
    This is inappropriate behavior for anyone who deems themselves as a chossid of the Rebbe. It’s leitzanus, leads to kalos rosh, loshon harah, and can also probably lead to missing davening, or definitely the real avoda of davening.

    Im with #3. Ma, i dont want a “bein” bochur.

    To #3
    Guest
    To #3

    If anyone wouldn’t want to close a shiduch for participating in a Bain, I’m not sure I would like to move on with that shiduc…

    Questionable spirit
    Guest
    Questionable spirit

    Although Halacha is Halacha and a Tov is a Rob, so there’s no arguing with the above article, I’d like to take issue with the spirit in which it is written…
    It is heavy, intense and not at all written to the level of the Bochurim who enjoy a good bein in Friday afternoon. Bochurim of today’s generation need understanding Rabbonim, not dogmatic lecturers.
    And for that reason I highly doubt this article will change the mind if any ‘beining’ Bochur’. Just give them a distaste to those who represent Halacha.

    Wonderful article
    Guest
    Wonderful article

    Thank you Rabbi. I recently heard about the “bein.” I was told guys who wouldn’t go to shul now go then they hear kiddush and go home. Others look for s social with friends after a week at work … then they daven and go home all merry to start s meal and say they are not hungry and whoever prepared feels insulted or stops preparing a nice shabbos meal! I wish individuals wouldn’t be so sarcastic on their comments. Rabbi here quoted sources. The article was necessary. Some are just not aware it could even be a problem. Chodesh… Read more »

    To #15
    Guest
    To #15

    Please quote a exact source, or reference a exact page number, something tells me you are totally misquoting or misunderstanding.
    To my recollection in ספר השיחות of those years there are very strong Sichos against drinking.

    Rabbi Citron
    Guest
    Rabbi Citron

    I find it rather comical that you did very minimal research before writing your whole extensive article, every single being I’ve been by they made kiddush beforehand, takes away most of your points, not saying there isn’t anything wrong with it, but not from our bigger issues.

    Questionable spirit
    Guest
    Questionable spirit

    Although Halacha is Halacha and a Tov is a Rob, so there’s no arguing with the above article, I’d like to take issue with the spirit in which it is written…
    It is heavy, intense and not at all written to the level of the Bochurim who enjoy a good bein in Friday afternoon. Bochurim of today’s generation need understanding Rabbonim, not dogmatic lecturers.
    And for that reason I highly doubt this article will change the mind if any ‘beining’ Bochur’. Just give them a distaste to those who represent Halacha.

    Al Koh Hol
    Guest
    Al Koh Hol

    It’s a desire to get buzzed or high, cloaked in a Hebrew word Bain. Same desire dresses up in other Hebrew words like Farbrengen, Kiddush, LiChaim… (Yes, I know the words Farbrengen, Kiddush and Bein have their originally intended transalation and meaning which indeed are holy, but those who wanna drink ab/use these words) Another desire is to be with like-minded others. Chillin. Bonding. Doing this beats boring conversation or mumbo jumbo “davening”. I like the poster’s clean focus on halacha (and his line” going against the bain”). Call it as it is. Usually a drink party contrary to halachic… Read more »

    Bucher here
    Guest
    Bucher here

    Thank you for this article.

    Beins are wromg on so many levels.
    And have such a negative effect on so many.

    Glad people are starting to talk about it.

    Instead of starting shabbos with some chassidus and a mindful masriv. We have bucherim missing mincha drinking and crowding around BBQ’s.

    Just not a way to start the holiest day of the week..

    Problem
    Guest
    Problem

    What compels the practitioners to call this new custom by a Hebrew name? Why not call it what it is: Impromptu Drinking Gathering, or IDG for short.
    Truth is, it has nothing to do with yiddishkeit. Jewish people are not supposed to be “drinkers.” This is definitely not Chassidic, as everyone knows that our Rebbeim deemed drinking a nasty thing (dovor mo’us).
    Every shul or Beis Chabad should discourage this, and close it down.

    Mind Your Business
    Guest
    Mind Your Business

    Sometimes I read comments like ones here and I start to cry – no oops, that’s poop. Who’s mixed up now? Are you kidding me!? You didn’t know about Bain Hashmashos? You are not with the times of your people. Not with your people back than, not with your people now. Where are you? Find yourself please. You don’t date guy’s who go to Bain? Is it not about the alcohol consumption but about the idea of getting together with friends after a week and connecting though song and peaceful communication? Don’t be so boring. Get a wife. What? And… Read more »

    This is a holy excuse for drinking and not being in control of yourself.
    Guest
    This is a holy excuse for drinking and not being in control of yourself.

    Also a terrible habit for a bochur to get into before marriage. Where will he be when his wife needs help getting ready for shabbos? Out drinking with his mates? Disgusting

    To #2
    Guest
    To #2

    What a tsadik🙄

    where are the rabonim?!
    Guest
    where are the rabonim?!

    why don’t we hear the crown heights bais din put out a letter on this super important issue?!

    What's the order?
    Guest
    What's the order?

    Can someone explain the order of events please?
    Mincha, (shkiah), Kiddush, Bain, (tzais) kabbolos shabbos, maariv.
    Is that correct? Just trying to figure out how it could possibly be halachically permissible..

    To Number 58
    Guest
    To Number 58

    Because if you ever learned shulchan aruch in your life it says you can bring in shabbos whichever way you like. You can bring in shabbos with kabbolas shabbos or you bring in shabbos with kiddush.

    To #15
    Guest
    To #15

    We are all so proud of you that u help out your wife erev shabbos, do u want a trophy? A lot of married men I know make the entire shabbos from A to z and let the wives relax on Friday from after a long week with the kids etc, and we all still make it to the Bain just fine, I get it you have never been invited…. And btw are Bain is fully according to Halacha, someone says a dvar Torah and we come early and eat till shkiah, so like other comments there are many kinds… Read more »

    Halacha
    Guest
    Halacha

    Not sure how quoting Halachic sources will help anything. The people who participate in these drinking parties are obviously not concerned about following Halacha.
    Treating alcohol consumption as a religious ideal was a big mistake. The minimal benefits are not worth the major cost.

    the bain guy...
    Guest
    the bain guy...

    is generally someone that…

    1- gives in to social pressure

    2- needs to feel cool and do what everyone is doing.

    3- doesn’t have enough strength of character and yiras shamayim to stick to whats rights.

    4- has less regard for his family than his friends.

    definitely look well into it for shiduch purposes.

    My 2 cents
    Guest
    My 2 cents

    Not that anyone cares.

    My opinion on all of this is, who cares?

    The guys who are doing this are probably not concerned with asking a rov about the halachic validity of it anyway. And the people who care about halacha are already in shul and are more concerned to learn something.

    So who is this even for?

    I personally have nothing to do with these beins and could care less, but if some people like a lchaim after a long week and before kabolas shabbos, big deal. What’s it anyone else’s business?

    bein is a symptom, not the disease
    Guest
    bein is a symptom, not the disease

    While I appreciate the kind treatment of this post, it seems like Bein comes in many forms. Bein in our city is a collection of some married 20-somethings (and sometimes older) who (1) drink heavily, (2) may or may not daven mincha/kabbolos shabbos. By now, the wives, parents, and in-laws know what’s really going on. But this is only a symptom of a larger problem. I don’t know if it’s a lack of inspiration, problems dealing with marriage/work/tuition, or addiction, or something else. But the problem is deeper, and I don’t know how to help other than try to befriend… Read more »

    Yup...
    Guest
    Yup...

    Been saying this for a long time. I’m 27 now, and when I was just starting out in Zal I took part in the bains, though I felt very iffy about it because I knew it was wrong on so many levels. I’m very social and all my close friends joined the bains. I was sad to find that I was the only one who felt against it. But the peer pressure got the best of me… But then as I got older, I went against the grain and stopped attending them, being the “odd one” out. Instead I went… Read more »

    The facts prove otherwise
    Guest
    The facts prove otherwise

    study shows at Yeshiva University that those that participate in “Bain” are 85% more likely to go to Minyan because it gets them to bed earlier and then they have time to go to Mikvah and learn chassidus before they talk to Hashem.
    Studies also show that people that don’t go to “bain” have a lot more social issues and will not be as enthusiastic when it comes to Minyan.
    …and that’s a fact

    Fact check
    Guest
    Fact check

    The history of “bain” The reason why we have such a custom For Better or For Worse did not start the way you think. It started around the time period of the 70s and 80s in CGI sleepover, at that time the camp was catering non Orthodox children and trying to bring them closer to Judaism, every week on Thursday night there used to be a raffle and the ones that would win would have the opportunity to spend the Shabbos with the Rebbe in Crown Heights, obviously there were those that had to stay behind and take care of… Read more »

    Kiddush first
    Guest
    Kiddush first

    What about if, while at bain, one makes kiddush.. What would be problematic about that?

    To #31 and 32
    Guest
    To #31 and 32

    To 31, all I did was ask a question. So you are saying that asking a question causes the Rebbe OB’M pain. I was taught in Lubavitch yeshiva that the stupid question is the one that is ***not*** asked. Your claims against me are nonsense. First, I was asking about things going on in my generation that affect me, not judging previous generations like that of the Holocaust. Second Rashi never said that Jews are so full of Achdus, that they have never been punished. Third, the Rebbe never said or implied that as long as there is a hdus… Read more »

    A chassidisher derher turned sour
    Guest
    A chassidisher derher turned sour

    What started as a small “chassidisher” hang out turned into a religious experience. This is so out of hand. Its not just bains its all around excuses to socialize, drink and party. As a bachur in oholei torah zal there was a “click” of guys who had a drinking session BEFORE shkia every Friday night. They followed the rules, went to daven then kiddush and continued farbrengen. Like everything… it starts a small thing and it grows as it trails along. Those that started it knew halacha and the copy cats are completely not aware or don’t really care. Today… Read more »

    To #62
    Guest
    To #62

    Spot on!
    Add:
    5- is dependandt on alcohol to unwind, relax and feel the shabbos spirit.
    6- totally disregards Halacha and the Rebbes takana

    Bein & Mic Drop
    Guest
    Bein & Mic Drop

    Bein & Mic Drop are 2 examples of current trends which many take issue with. Halacha is very important and may prevent some who are not involved in these events to not participate. However, chances are, clarification of halachic parameters will not dissuade almost anyone who is already participating. There is obviously something deeper which is drawing people to these events. Many of them are committed to chassidishkeit on some level or another. Why are people doing this? Letter of the law was never the only focus of chassidim. The main focus was always, How do we use the letter… Read more »

    The bigger issue
    Guest
    The bigger issue

    Is alcohol, alcohol, alcohol (and probably something ‘else’). Bein is just another opportunity for more alcohol on top of all the others

     The picture is misleading
    Guest
    The picture is misleading

    At a Bein/ Bain, #1- you are making Kiddush, in the picture the cups barely have a 1/2 of a lichim in them let alone a Kiddush. #2- Us Boucherim can’t afford Gelea also known as scotch or whiskey, (i.e. Glenfiddich Bourbon Barrel Reserve 14 Year Old Single Malt Scotch Whisky which retails for over $50, (what u have in the pic)). The truth is that we’ll buy a handle or two of Smirnoff for $20. Once on the topic of saying Lichim/ drinking, maybe you should ask the dean of this college his opinion on the grubkite of drinking… Read more »

    Bain Guy/Gal Shidduch...
    Guest
    Bain Guy/Gal Shidduch...

    The Bain Guy or gal clearly fain religious observance to gain attention from similarly minded peers. There pain in regular shabbas observance manifests into vain attempt to belong. It might seem like something nice to do in the rain or if one feels zany, but the key to to use your brain and refrain from Bain. This will lead to the real culprit behind bain and the chabad lite movement, Vaccines!

    Spot on
    Guest
    Spot on

    To #1 – before you tell a scholarly Rabbi that he “has ‘his facts’ (the Torah’s, ahem) mixed up”, you’d best make sure your level of knowledge is higher and that we can ascertain that by signing your real name, with your title. Rabbi Citron will not speak up for himself – just one of his many fine attributes – but you can bet your bottom dollar he knows what he’s talking about with regards to Halacha, and then some. You probably owe a public apology for slandering someone (someone worthy of only praise!) publicly, double for being a troll… Read more »

    To # 30
    Guest
    To # 30

    1) The ketzos hashulchan doesn’t say what his makor is. But bepashtus it’s not the MB in 232. Rather it’s the halacha in 471 re Erev Pesach. Whatever is assur there min hadin is not recommended on Erev Shabbos since we see in Arvei Pesachim that they are brought bechada machta. Re Erev Pesach the issur is not that it may cause you to eat more but because it, itself, is filling. The same applies to a revi’is of wine or a similar beverage. 2) After kiddush before hamotzie, it’s still not recommended to eat, see Alter Rebbe 249:10 and… Read more »

    Jack
    Guest
    Jack

    BS”D # 75 in your eagerness to savage you seem to be a bigger dope than you accuse me- did i at all mention
    Halacha or dispute his knowledge I said he does not have his facts straight. The gatherings I have attended are after Kiddush (which is permitted before Maariv) no excess drinking and the entire tochin is D’var Torah and nigunim. Indeed your apology is called for

    halachik ramifications of eating and drinking
    Guest
    halachik ramifications of eating and drinking

    is it cinsidered drinking if alcohol is taken as a suppository or an IV drip? people who are nicshal in this should consider their options

    Solution
    Guest
    Solution

    #1 Begin after Shkia
    #2 Make Kiddush before you begin (on wine)
    #3 Have a friend remind you to Daven Kabolas Shabbos & Maariv (not necessary if there’s a set time for Minyan)
    #4 Drink only up to 4 L’chaims

    #SOLVED

    Community bein
    Guest
    Community bein

    Anyone that needs a place to bein is more then welcome to come to ours.

    This letter helps nobody
    Guest
    This letter helps nobody

    Alcohol abuse has been a problem in Lubavitcher Yeshivas for literally decades. Bochurim who constantly abuse alcohol and other drugs in Yeshiva should either be given help or kicked out. Rabbi aryeh citron cares so much about bochurim who need help, that he bothered himself to write this halachic reprimand and ultimately self-aggrandizing article that almost definitely does not help any bochurim who actually need help with this issue. This is the idiotic out of touch attitude that is hurting the futures of our young men. It’s very upsetting to see so many bright young men’s futures thrown down the… Read more »

    To everyone in the back
    Guest
    To everyone in the back

    If a Bochur is doing a Bain and that is how he welcomes Shabbos don’t question or ruin it
    They could all be out with girls or drugs
    Let’s appreciate what Haagen gave us and chill

    Typical Yeshiva attitude
    Guest
    Typical Yeshiva attitude

    The rabbis would rather pontificate about halachic issurim then actually offer real help to the bochurim who have issues with alcohol. Out of touch and hurting the bochurim. Our Yeshivas need to change their approach to excessive drinking and stop writing these useless articles.

    To # 68 (and others)
    Guest
    To # 68 (and others)

    The problem would be.. *Alcohol Consumption*

    bitzalel
    Guest
    bitzalel

    yes a deeper problem. need to start learning chassidus in an organized systematic way with iyun and the kavana of becoming real chabad chassidim.

    and i don’t mean the bochurim, i mean the rabbis and baali batim

    Focus
    Guest
    Focus

    Better education, better jobs= less stress, less reason to drink, and people can improve quality of life.
    Maybe improve the education in lubavitch schools aye

    #78 said it all
    Guest
    #78 said it all

    That is exactly what all of these Bain people will say. They will just find loopholes in halacha that will suit them. They will find ways to justify it cause they would rather have fun drink alcohol & talk sports & other nonsense then go to shul & daven

    to #3
    Guest
    to #3

    i will only date a guy that bEins, but never a guy that bAins.

    The Question is wrong
    Guest
    The Question is wrong

    The question if it’s allowed or not is wrong itself. The fact that people are looking into whether Bein is right or not already shows that they are looking for loopholes in Halacha, they don’t actually want to do the right thing.

    To  #68 and #80 solution
    Guest
    To #68 and #80 solution

    Wait till the time u can daven marriv and make Kiddush on wine then u can do what u want

    Let's be honest
    Guest
    Let's be honest

    The worst thing bochurim are really doing is drinking a little when shobbos starts? No, rather it’s the fact that these days everybody has smart phones that the second shabbos starts and they have no other outlet the bochurim start drinking

    To number 7
    Guest
    To number 7

    Love the honesty but you are really missing out on number 3

    By the way
    Guest
    By the way

    When I go to Bain it’s not just bochrim who do Bain it’s married guys who are still living with that yeshiva bocher mentality. Wouldn’t they rather be home with thier wife & kids who they haven’t really seen to much the whole week? Now they finally have some quality time to spend with wife & kids but they run off to play with their friends. Drinking alcohol & bullshoving

    A concerned wife
    Guest
    A concerned wife

    Reading this really disturbs me!
    I know my husband has some friends who drink before Shabbos on occasion, but I didn’t know this was a thing.
    How are Rabbomim allowing this sort of behavior?!

    My advice to all the wive’s out there is, if you see that your husband has come home from one of these drinking escapades don’t even let him in the house! Then maybe they will learn!
    People wake up women we have to unite against this!
    Hopefully now that it’s out in the open our Rabbonim can do something to stop this horrible things from taking place!
    Please women guard yourselves!!!!

    A happy participant
    Guest
    A happy participant

    Can no one have fun anymore???
    People please calm you horses these things are fun! Maybe you ought to join one once and see for yourself, you might be surprised how much more fun your Friday night may be.
    L’chaim and see you there

    frum
    Guest
    frum

    i am only frum today because of the bain

    To #95
    Guest
    To #95

    That can be (and is) said by those who do other things wrong, too.
    Anything that is against halacha is defended by those who do it using the same claim about “fun”, you use

    Hard core beiner
    Guest
    Hard core beiner

    When i was on yeshiva back in the day, a boy bought 107 bottles of Smirnoff alchohol and had one bottle with hos groemds by every weeks bein
    Thanks Skonah

    Baining is life
    Guest
    Baining is life

    I am currently intoxicated and I am having a lot of simcha. I think that the person who wrote this article or any one who has a problem with a “Bain guy” is just feeling left out or has some traumatic experiences of being left out from their childhood Bain guys are the most chill and make the best shidduchim. The main thing is ahavas Yisroel and try to bring moshiach. We want moshiach now!!

    Different world then 1900's
    Guest
    Different world then 1900's

    The world has changed parents want to think there child is amazing and chasidish buttttt why can’t you except them for who they are yes they have there issues but no one’s perfect. stop forcing them to do stuff teach them the importance of g-d Don’t force them to put on tefilin speak to them about it try show them the way of life not in a forcefull way. Yes 100 years ago in Russia it was the way but we aren’t in Russia there is internet there is weed there’s girls it’s a lot more of a struggle then… Read more »

    To #69
    Guest
    To #69

    1st of all, the Dor of the Migdal of Bovel was saved due to the fact that they had achdus! (meforshim and midrashim)!
    2nd, you lecture #31 about calling people names, but then (in the same comment) attack #32, claiming that he’s not jewish!

    The problem is the Miami are surrounded by snags
    Guest
    The problem is the Miami are surrounded by snags

    מקור של הדין
    The origination of this so called “shtus “ comes from ספר השחות פז. It speaks about how chassidim erev shabbas would drink some mashke and get in the state and mind of shabbas.
    And for those who were wondering about the shiddush it says in a famous letter of chassidim of the rebbe maharash that a chassidiisher eishes chayil is someone who used to let her husband get slammed by a farbrengan.

    Playing with fire and with the supernal snake
    Guest
    Playing with fire and with the supernal snake

    The worst sin took place right before Shabbos and it is the most dangerous time of the week to be wagging ones tongue and drinking alcohol. Chava and Adam has an issue at that time and you can too if you continue. You are dancing with the snake if you party when he parties. It says the fires of gehinom are cooled at that time so no one is not allowed to drink at that time or you take away their relief or cooling water from the universe. If you drink and party you are stoking your own fire of… Read more »

    Former Yeshiva Student
    Guest
    Former Yeshiva Student

    I feel the larger issue here is not getting enough attention in this article, in the comments, or in our society. The fact is that many “beins” are carried out according to halacha-and if not, can easily be adjusted to do so, which I’m sure many will be happy to do if it is pointed out to them. They are not there to violate halacha. They are there to drink alcohol. I myself have attended beins where there was no food, nothing but a large bottle of Smirnoff. The bein is really only a minor offshoot of a much larger… Read more »

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