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Wednesday, 17 Shevat, 5783
  |  February 8, 2023

Rabbi Yitzy’s Marriage Tips: Part 2

Rabbi Yitzy Hurwitz, the spirited Shliach battling ALS disease, offers another 5 quick marriage tips for men on how to listen better. Full Story

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to #27
February 15, 2015 3:50 am

if you do that, make sure your body language doesn’t give you away. most people will develop a vacuous look in their eyes if they’re listening without hearing. maybe if you listen with genuine attention you will be able to say “I’m so sorry (whatever your wife’s name is) I missed the connection between the point you were making about… and the point you just made about…could you clarify that for me, please?” At the very least she’ll feel like you’re really listening. She may even realize she’s been rambling aimlessly and stop doing so. One caveat before you ask… Read more »

to#26
February 14, 2015 8:09 pm

That happens sometimes.

I just pretend like i’m listening.

thanks
February 13, 2015 11:23 am

I try to practice some of this advice, but she just talks, talks, goes on forever. At the end I don’t even know what is she talking about anymore, it is way off from the original subject, which we did not even finish discussing yet. Oh well, we will try again, Shabbos is a good time…

To #12
February 13, 2015 12:08 am

If women primarily want to feel loved by feeling understood, men primarily want to feel respected by being taken seriously. “oh he is useless in the kitchen” “why can’t you get this right” “why haven’t you done this yet?” type things.

Instead try not criticizing him to others, “I appreciate it more when it is done this way” “It is important to me that you do this right away.” or “I feel ignored when what I ask gets pushed off.”

Yitzy thanks
February 12, 2015 10:29 pm

Yitzy you deserve a real thanks for thinking and helping so many families with your such good advices ,

In that Zechus Yitzy Hashem will think about you and help you in all your needs ,

And in the very near future with Hashem’s help, dance and sing at weddings , like you used to do,

HAYAD HASHEM TIKTZOR ???

HE CAN AND WILL DO !!!

S.B.

What a wonderful Tzaddik you are!!!!
February 12, 2015 8:50 pm

Hashem. Owes you big time.Get better you can bring MHM now!!!!!!!!

Thank you!
February 12, 2015 8:24 pm

Thank you so much Rabbi for the incredibly insightful advice.
We will use your advice and it will surely help our marriage!
May G-d bless you with complete health!!

wow
February 12, 2015 1:24 pm

WOW, how did he get all that wisdom. Thats way past average. This could help alot of people, increase quality of life, and more. wow. I’d like to print it out and give to people

efshr
February 12, 2015 1:17 pm

maybe they will print this out and put it in all the shuls and other places, it could make a big difference, it could really affect people for the better to be mefarsem this and as well, it gives schar to Yitzy, he should be well.

Yitzy beautifull
February 12, 2015 4:20 am

Yitzy right 100 percent , Yitzy I visited you , now I am starting to understand how come Diny is so loyal and devoted to you , In such a time you can really see the devotion of a spous, I hope Hashem will send you a full recovery in the very near future, and you will be’ezras Hashem help others , Hashen can make it , he made much much biger Nissim than that , Yitzy B”H you have so much nachas of your children , The Mendy goes to Mivtzoim every Friday on Pico and Robbinson arie ,… Read more »

Yay, Go Yitzy
February 12, 2015 12:27 am

You’re the best!
We love you.
A fellow California shliach

Beautiful!
February 11, 2015 9:37 pm

You put it just right, and short and sweet too.
May your words bring much Shalom Bayis to many!
May the zechus stand you in good stead. May we hear good news of your refuah shlaima b’karov!

Yasher Koach!!
February 11, 2015 9:19 pm

thank you and refuah shelaimah ukerovah. Keep sharing your top notch advice!!

Woman are from Venus, men are from Mars
February 11, 2015 8:35 pm

Excellent advice. Your wife must be truly special (as they say). Wishing you good health and only good B”Gur.

Spot on!
February 11, 2015 7:38 pm

This is exactly what my wife complains about. You hit the nail right on the head, and I will strive to implement these points.
Thank you!

To #2 and #8
February 11, 2015 7:24 pm

It’s about connection. When you listen to your wife and truly hear her you will be able to connect to her more deeply. It doesn’t matter if she is right or not, she needs to be heard, understood. You’ll know when you’ve done it right.

maybe someone can write advice for a woman to understand how men work?
February 11, 2015 6:55 pm
Oy Vey #4
February 11, 2015 5:58 pm

stop trying to change your husband after 40 years !!! He is who he is. I have learned the only person in the world you can change is yourself. As a man I suggest, give him a little kavod, even if you feel he doesnt deserve it and youll be amazed at how he will soften up. if you want him to listen, how about in a quiet moment you start the conversation with, “I would like to share something with you and all I need is that you please listen without offering or even thinking of solutions”. Get his… Read more »

To #6
February 11, 2015 5:03 pm

Not exactly… When your wife says “I had a hard day at work. They kept giving my more and more documents” – she isn’t interested in hearing a solution from you (something like, “why can’t they give it to your co-worker”). She is simply sharing her feeling and wanting them to be heard. That’s it. This might sound weird to a man and that is what R’ Yitzy is pointing out. All your wife wants at that point is a listening ear. Not an opinionated verdict or solution. When your advice is sought, you will already know. Otherwise, simply listen… Read more »

Thank you
February 11, 2015 4:55 pm

Your advice is right on target

a man
February 11, 2015 3:36 pm

This is too hard for me. Is doing half not enough?

Wonderful!
February 11, 2015 3:27 pm

Thank you for sharing such wonderful and practical tips!

question
February 11, 2015 2:59 pm

“2. No opinions.”
by not saying your opinion you are agreeing to what is being said (shtika khowdoa)
that it is correct
can this not lead to bad things?

you couldn't have been more right
February 11, 2015 2:42 pm

You said this better then I could have ever explained this myself. So incredibly heads on. Wow!! I will definitely make sure my husband reads this. No not just reads this but studies this. Lol!!
Thank you so much dear Rabbi.

Married over 40 Years
February 11, 2015 2:16 pm

…and I am still trying to “train” my dear husband to really listen and not assume he knows what I am going to say!

I hope my husband reads this :))))))
February 11, 2015 1:31 pm
Thank you!
February 11, 2015 1:22 pm

Your words – spoken from the heart, enter the heart – especially knowing that it is so difficult for you to put them to paper.
refuah shleimah krovah!!!

Rabbi yitzi
February 11, 2015 1:09 pm

Im your big fan!!!!
Refua shlema kerova!!!!!

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