Pianist Shares Touching Remarks

By Gershon Wachtel

Having just completed almost 3 wonderful weeks in Australia, I feel compelled to share some of my thoughts and experiences with others with the hope that they will find it in their hearts to be inspired by them and perhaps emulate them in their own lives.

I was fortunate to have been asked to play the piano at the Kinus HaShluchim which was broadcast around the world via internet. Yossi Segelman of Sydney saw it and invited me to come to Australia to play at an upcoming dinner. Once it was confirmed that I was traveling there, I received other invitations both in Sydney and Melbourne to play and speak.

One that stuck out for me was being asked to speak and play for a group of bereaved Jewish parents-people who have had to endure the loss of a child. I initially felt that the entire purpose of my playing at the Kinus and the invitation to go Sydney was just to address this group of broken souls (I later realized).

I wondered what I could say to them that could bring comfort. Having lost a child myself, I do know the pain and healing process. However, they did not need to hear about the pain. They could write volumes about pain.

Suddenly, a few days before I was to speak, the answer came into my head and I had no doubt what I would say to them. The following is a short synopsis of what I said:

The posuk says, “Oilam Chesed Yibonei”, loosely translated, “The world is built with Chesed”. There is a constant flow of Chesed-kindness-in this world. We are asked to emulate Hashem; He is kind, we must be kind. He loves us; we have to love each other, etc. When one does a Chesed to another person it feels good. Why is that? Because we are joining the flow of kindness coming into this world-“going with the flow”. No wonder it feels good! If a person were to do the opposite of a kindness, of course it doesn’t feel good, because he is going against the natural flow that Hashem created-sort of like trying to “swim upstream”.

There is one other thing we have in common with Hashem-immortality. Hashem is immortal and we, in one way, are immortal… through our children. We can see and join in the flow of humanity through seeing that we come from parents and we see the generation(s) following us. What happens if Chas v’Sholom that gets cut off through R”L losing a child, seemingly that one thing we have in common with Hashem is no longer there. However, it is well-known that when one R”L loses one of his senses, the other senses become stronger to compensate. Therefore, when that one avenue of connection is lost, the other avenues become stronger and the ability to feel others, be kind to others, understand others’ pain becomes stronger.

We, those of us who have lost children, have joined an exclusive club. The admission price is very high, but the privileges in the club are very great. Some members of the club are still in great pain from having “paid the price” and do need time for Hashem to heal them. However, eventually comes the opportunity to connect with Hashem in an enormous way. Davening becomes unlike it never was. One feels truly that one’s prayers go directly to Heaven and are listened to. Then the ability and willingness to do Chesed becomes so strong that it in a sense it becomes one’s new way of life-listening, caring, sharing time and resources.

Yes, the pain was horrible…at times seemingly unendurable. However, our focus cannot and should not be on the negative aspect of “joining this special club”, but rather to focus on the positive aspect of it (our new sensitivity) and to live life to help others heal from their own difficulties (not just limited to the death of a child). There are so many people, unfortunately, in pain, that for them, just a few kind words or time shared can make a huge difference.

I really hope and actually trust that words from the heart enter the heart and those people for whom I was privileged to help will continue to heal and help others heal.

The trip turned into, basically three weeks of inspiring and helping people either through the music or the talks that I gave.

The brevity of this letter doesn’t allow me to share all the amazing experiences I had during my 3 week Shlichus in Australia, but I do hope others can find strength through what I have written to take anything negative in their lives and use the ensuing strength they have received from Hashem to helps others through kindnesses and goodness.

Feel free to contact me at GershonPiano.com.