ב"ה
Saturday, 12 Tammuz, 5780
  |  July 4, 2020

Live:

Photographer Will Take Portraits For Girls in Shidduchim

Professional photographer Mendel Meyers has a solution for the shidduch crisis: professional photographs. "It doesn’t only display a girl’s physical beauty, but it brings out her positive attributes," he says. Full Story

Shliach Films The Quarantine Song With His Kids

Next Story »

Fire Burns Newlywed’s Entire Apartment

61
Opinions and Comments

To keep track of your comments, follow a conversation or flag a comment Login
avatar
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
Great Initiative
Guest
Great Initiative

Thank you Mendel Meyers for being so generous and making a difference.

What about
Guest
What about

What about photos of men?

What about me
Guest
What about me

As a 24 year old male currently in the ‘parsha’, I’m triggered by this.
I want a head shot too!

Great idea
Guest
Great idea

Great idea and nice of you to do this as a charity. It’s a win win for everyone!

Which Mushky?
Guest
Which Mushky?

Which Mushky is it talking about? Can I have her resume, I think I have a shidduch for her.

Why
Guest
Why

“For this reason, it is imperative for every Shidduch-aged individual, especially girls, to have a proper professional photograph taken for shidduchim purposes.”

Why ESPECIALLY girls???? I do not understand

More expectations of boys
Guest
More expectations of boys

Because girls aren’t judged by if they daven with a minyan 3x/day, learn 15 hours a day, have a gemoro kop, have smicha, daven b’arichus, go on mivtzoyim, walk around with a hat and jacket, farbreng all night etc.

There are so many more expectations of boys, that a photo is not as important.

What about the boys??
Guest
What about the boys??

A professional photograph doesn’t only display a boy’s physical beauty, but it brings out his positive attributes, as well, whether his spunk or his chein.

If boys have proper portraits, girls will say yes to them faster, and there will be more people going out. This will hopefully result in more engagements.

Doesn’t sound right too?

Tzniut
Guest
Tzniut

There are ample female photogs today that would be better suited for this. Im sorry its come to the point that this isnt obvious. Kudos to COL for publishing this comment despite my hiding behind initials.

MYC

I agree
Guest
I agree

U Right

Because he is offering to volunteer.
Guest
Because he is offering to volunteer.

He’s volunteering his own time. You want him to pay a female photographer? Or are you wondering why be female photographers have offered to volunteer (hint: it’s a ton of work, and they can use the parnasa)

Incredible!
Guest
Incredible!

Now this shows a real mensch! and someone who has been there for the community.

Am I alone in this?
Guest
Am I alone in this?

I don’t think this is appropriate at all
And also why is this offer only for girls?

You arent alone
Guest
You arent alone

I remember when i went out when no resume or photo was used.you just met in person. In those days there were not so many people unmarried because they didnt write a good resume or were not beautifulin a photo. Looks are not all that matters. The old ways of meeting were much more tznius and made people meet before they rejected someone based on chitzonius

Couldn't agree more!
Guest
Couldn't agree more!

so, so right. Sheker hachain V’hevel hayofi…..

Sara
Guest
Sara

Yes!!! Superficial attitudes ruin your chances of getting married, and we moan about the shidduch crisis. How about we check our own behavior and see how we got here!!!

Wow
Guest
Wow

That’s really nice of you!

Wow!!!
Guest
Wow!!!

Wonderful gesture!!! Great idea!!!

Great Idea !!!
Guest
Great Idea !!!

Please reserve another date to do the same for bochurim, it’s equally as important !!!

Guess what
Guest
Guess what

Girls also take a “first impression” from guys photos.
Either way, thanks for the initiative. It is nice to see someone do something concrete to help singles.

Discrimination
Guest
Discrimination

What about the bochurim? You think they are judjed by their pictures? Please fix this

Guys also need this!
Guest
Guys also need this!

As a single woman I can tell you I’ve rejected quite a number of names because of a picture. I’m not sure why in 2020 we’re still pushing the female beauty narrative when men also need to be just as presentable. I’m not alone in this as I know many friends who feel the same. Great initiative but perhaps this should be extended to men as well?

Keep in mind
Guest
Keep in mind

If there were pictures passed around before dating when I was in the parsha, I most likely would have rejected my husband over his picture. When I see him now, I see his kindness and caring, much deeper than his physical looks. Don’t reject someone over their picture!

Sara
Guest
Sara

If you have rejected a number of names because of a picture, I don’t like your chances…

menachem mendel
Guest
menachem mendel

Are you meshuga all of you??? dont you realize why your getting so geklapped with this mageifa more then any other jewish community? its because of your corrupt hashkfos. you think the rebba would have approved of this? did you even bother to ask him thru the likutei sichos or toras menachem? you guys still dont get it, the mageifa CAME TO YOU MORE THEN ANY OTHER COMMUNITY RATIO WISE BECUASE HASHEM IS SENDING YOU A CLEAR MESSAGE TO THE PEOPLE IN CROWN HEIGHTS TODAY HES MUNNING LACK OF TZNIUS , am haaretzus that is very prevalent in the community… Read more »

Don’t just say that
Guest
Don’t just say that

How can you know that that is the reason? The Rebbe was very against using wording like this to try to explain things like this.
It is clear and simple- golus must end right away! Moshiach now!

A confused soul
Guest
A confused soul

As a single girl who is in ‘The Parsha’ I find this hurtful that so much emphasis is put on the photo. Is this not the antithesis of the values that we have been taught. Secondly,
Why is this only targeted at girl? Don’t boys also need a good portrait? I’m struggling to keep faith in the shidduch system.
Please advise.

I am with you
Guest
I am with you

I know it is very sad how the process is going something gotta change ASAP

Faith in the system?
Guest
Faith in the system?

As a single girl in ‘the Parsha’ I find this hurtful. Is this not the antithesis of the values that we have been taught. Why is it oy focused on girls? Don’t bochurim need good portraits as well. These type of mindsets further alienate as girls and make us feel sad and misunderstood. Please advise.

Question?
Guest
Question?

This article make me wonder how single girls will respond to this.
Is this not objectifying women?

write it up
Guest
write it up

To answer your question in simple terms, no. As a single bochur, I find it to be very helpful when there is a good picture as it is the only physical element of the person from which we can base that side of the equation so why wouldn’t one want to present themselves in the best light. The issue is why this is this only for girls not are we objectifying them.

What about us men!!
Guest
What about us men!!

Yeah so it doesn’t look nice that the girls pictures were taken at their brothers bar mitzvahs, but what about the men? My shidduch picture is me at my bar mitzvah!

שקר החן והבל היופי
Guest
שקר החן והבל היופי

What happened to שקר החן והבל היופי? I guess when there’s no אשה יראת ה׳, the Koch becomes in the חן and יופי

because
Guest
because

if you ask a girl to list the 10 things she is looking for in order of preference, good looks will usually not be at the top of the list, but if you ask a boy it will usually be no.1 before anything else. Through no fault of their own, just the way Hashem made them. Therefore in my opinion, a boy should not see a photo because he might reject a girl who is perfect for him but if he meets her first, he might be pleasantly surprised. But, i think it is very important for his parents to… Read more »

Confidence for women
Guest
Confidence for women

#1 for girls is confidence, confidence makes the guy look alot more attractive.

generalizing
Guest
generalizing

hi there,

this is a really hurtful and outdated narrative. women DO care about looks, and to state otherwise is untrue. if you are a man who wrote that comment, you have no place to be speaking for women. and if you are a woman who feels looks are not important, you have no place to be speaking on behalf and making generalizations for all women.

Parents - more objective?
Guest
Parents - more objective?

It’s usually the mother of the boy who rejects the girl based on looks!

Better than the original
Guest
Better than the original

With a talented photographer the picture can be better than the original.

Kudos to Mendel Meyers
Guest
Kudos to Mendel Meyers

Beautiful to see someone doing something for the community at no personal charge. Like the idea of donating to hachnasas kallah, thank you!

Outoftowner
Guest
Outoftowner

Will he fly abroad?

Are values lost?
Guest
Are values lost?

Thank you Mr Meyers for your sincerity. However, single pictures of both boys and girls are solely meant for Shadchanim and mothers to see if the shidduch “Ken gein”. Beyond that, how chetzonius and shallow are we?

ridiculous
Guest
ridiculous

do we need pictures in the first place? so that a bochur can be metamei his mind, and possibly turn down a shiddusch because of preconceived notions because of the way a pictureturned out (no matter how good it is)

Mom,shviger, Bubby
Guest
Mom,shviger, Bubby

I never held from picture as a parent but I can tell you that they do make a difference. I am surprised at the pictures that I get, usually cropped out of a photo with others that are totally not clear. I am a mother of boys and girls in the shiduch scene and it’s so important to take a professional picture for shiduchim! It’s worth the effort and the expense.

Thank you!
Guest
Thank you!

Unfortunately, we are in a generation where the people ask for the picture before the profile so whether it’s right or wrong, a good picture is always helpful! Thank you for doing something to try and help the Shidduch crisis and hopefully you can do a bochurim shoot as well.

gemara
Guest
gemara

its not chasidish to deny reality. even the gemara says “ein eesha elo leyofi”. There is a difference between men and women.

Yofi
Guest
Yofi

Yofi isn’t kind, smart or sweet. Yofi doesn’t cook or clean!
Yofi is often skin deep!

The boys are not looking for Barbie girls
Guest
The boys are not looking for Barbie girls

They are looking at the general style and how she carries herself.

Wow!
Guest
Wow!

This is really special! Thank you for this opportunity!

THSNK
Guest
THSNK

it may be sad that our generation came to this point that looks are so important, but since people do care and judge, we need good pictures. THANK YOU MENDEL MEYERS!!!!

MM did my wedding
Guest
MM did my wedding

I’m so thankful that bh am Married and have met the right one, but from my long haul in shidduchim, I can tell you how important this is. I wish something like this was around when I was in the parsha. Thank you Mendel Meyers. He did my wedding and I have gorgeous pictures. Couldn’t have been happier. These girls are so lucky

A Genuine Comment
Guest
A Genuine Comment

Thank you MM for this idea and the tremendous selflessness and chessed put in to this for the cause of your fellow Anash, truly. I also wonder why this article published is so obviously condescending to young women. To me it made young women sound as though they are at the mercy of men agreeing to a date with them. There are many, many, wonderful available men and women and they both say “no” to each other all the time. The truth of the matter I understand, the reality is real, no doubt, and I fully advocate for young women… Read more »

Shidduch challenge
Guest
Shidduch challenge

I dare any brochure or girl to go out without seeing a picture at all. Watch how many shidduchim will happen!

Yes!
Guest
Yes!

You just made my day! I feel like most people would just scoff at this idea, but it’s really profound!

Thanks
Guest
Thanks

Mendel Meyers took my wedding pictures,every picture he takes is totally kosher

I saw this on WhatsApp and thought it was a joke.
Guest
I saw this on WhatsApp and thought it was a joke.

This will have the opposite affect. More bochurim will reject girls because now they can see all her flaws in HD. A person’s personality usually changes how you look at them. Not giving a girl a chance simply because her picture wasn’t taken professionally is very shallow. The fact that there’s a double standard is even more disappointing. I’ve seen pictures of buchorim that are so blurry or taken from miles away, you can’t even tell if he’s wearing a yarmulke.

Shadchan responds
Guest
Shadchan responds

I have been a shadchan for over 20 years. When I first started, some people didn’t even ask for pictures and if they did, it was usually after they researched. It is only the last few years where people stated asking for pictures even before asking about the person’s midos. At first, I was so turned off, I felt like vomiting. How someone can be so into looks is one thing, but not to be embarrassed and to ask for a picture even before inquiring about the person was a whole new level. Unfortunately, this has become a norm. At… Read more »

Impressed!
Guest
Impressed!

A beautiful thoughtful gesture!
Kudos to you!

What is wrong with you
Guest
What is wrong with you

Why are ppl always blaming the crises on the women -just as much as looks matter to boys they matter just as much to girls .done and. Stop focusing on the chitzonius

It's a different world
Guest
It's a different world

B”H Sadly I agree, the old days were better. However the world has changed, not necessarily for the better. Today we have the Internet, social media, and garbage sites like Instagram. So everyone lives on their phones looking at pictures for hours and hours, while driving, crossing the street, in the bathroom, etc. so it seems most people won’t budge on a shidduch without a picture. It’s very sad, but it seems the only solution will be after Moshiach comes and untangles the mess we’ve created here. In the meantime shidduchim must continue in whatever way will work that’s reasonably… Read more »

Photographs were not given out in the past.
Guest
Photographs were not given out in the past.

Just do a shidduch without one on either side and everyone will be happier. It’s also not tznius for bochrim to be looking at pictures of girls. The rabbonim should come out against it!

Get real
Guest
Get real

Most בחורים are on the internet anyway.

It’s a TOTALLY different generation.

And when they go on the date the בחור sees the girl in real life השם ישמור.

And if the girl is dressed צניעות in the picture there is no problem.

Remember ט”ו באב the girls used to dance in the vineyard!!!!!

אסור לקדש אישה בלי לראותה מצד ואהבת לרעיך כמוך

X