By Rabbi Yitzchok Schochet – London, UK
It is said if you want to get your family around the dinner table together, just switch off the wifi in the house. The WhatsApp outage last night caused pandemonium throughout the world. Without ticks appearing next to a sent message all sorts of paranoia kicked in.
“Am I being ignored?” “Is there something wrong with my phone?” Heart palpitations, cold sweats, people felt lost without their mode of communication.
What does that say about our generation? Technology has become our masters rather than tools. What is supposed to help us get things done faster and more efficiently, essentially consumes more of our time thus slowing us down and piling on more pressure.
Moreover, such modes of communication have literally killed off the warmth in interaction. No one likes to get upfront and personal any more. Technology has facilitated a way to avoid intimacy. Where once a spouse might pick up the phone and say “I love you,” or a parent might pause to embrace their child and ask about their day, today it’s a heart emoji and a virtual embrace.
Many will argue that they’re not addicted to their phones. Here’s a small test. See if you can go twelve hours without looking at your WhatsApp. After all, if you can’t go 12 hours without drinking alcohol, you are considered an alcoholic. If you can’t go 12 hours without smoking, you are considered addicted to nicotine. Arguably, if you can’t go 12 hours without WhatsApp, that implies addiction as well.
I’m not naive enough to think that we can reverse the trend entirely. With smartphones a part of every child’s reality, we face a formidable challenge. But we can certainly look to regain control over our devices rather than becoming subservient to them.
My wife and I lead busy lives and I can find myself communicating via WhatsApp, Facebook messenger and email all at once. It comes with the territory. But we also have an understanding that when we are talking to each other, the devices go down immediately. If we go out, mobile phones stay in the pocket and only surface if there’s an issue at home.
My daughter inspired the idea that when I might be out with friends all phones are placed facedown on the table. First one to pick theirs up pays the bill.
What are you sacrificing at the expense of social media? Consider honestly the extent to which it might be impacting on the “normal” in your life. Think about what went up in your life during the hour that whatsapp went down. Then look to nurture that in your life and relationships going forward.
I am disgusted by the way people around me became addicted. I have not, Thank G-d. But I’m the only one who knows just how much more sane I am.
You totally missed the point. Read it again, and then we’d love to hear what you think.
Last night I decided to leave my phone off from its off position of shabbos. Pure freedom!!
#2 Did indicate that his concern was about how much time was spent on it, and I was addressing his comments.
Also just because there are trief things that can be found using such technology does not automatically mean the whole technology is treif.
If that was the case, then by your logic, one should conclude that, The Rebbe should never have come to America since America was said to be ‘tref’.
the problem with social media (for being “treif”) has nothing to do with how much time you waste on it…if so there are many other things that should also be “treif”….
and we all survived! There are positives and negatives to all technology. If you are constantly checking your phone that’s a negative.
When I was in Sem they told me facebook was “treif”.
Who made it kosher? Did the psak come from “Rov Everybody does it”?
Also why is whatsapp kosher? I understand that the chat groups are closed etc, but I know several women who spend so much time on whatsapp groups that they don’t have time to daven/ run their house properly/ work outside the home etc.
Have you ever considered that Chabad.org has both the davening and the Tehillim with the English translation in Metsuda format so that people (like many Baal Teshuvahs) who do not know Hebrew so well can get an idea of what they are saying during the davening even better then looking into a regular Siddur (even one with regular (not Metsuda style) translation? Also there might not be a Hebrew English siddur and/or Tehllim readily available at the moment when he needs to start davening, even in 770. If you are so worrid about doing things properly, how about being Daam… Read more »
It definitely makes it easier on shabbos in part because almost all of my contacts are frum as well and I know I’m not missing out. Now could I live without the phone on a Monday? Idk
but i think being on whatsapp is much better then being on social media. so instead of putting down your phone and stop talking to all of your friends and family, mabey try not to be addicted to stuff more worthless like youtube, snapchat ect.
ha ha ha
everyone else turns of their phones as well same time
Every week, at least since whatsapp started, I have been turning off my phone for 25 hours!
One day every week my phone was off! And nothing happened! I did not even have many missed messages! After havdalah I turned it back on and saw that it’s possible to live without whatsapp, and continued to go online for the next 6 days.
Is that you Motty Zucker??
I totally agree. Let’s keep the conversation alive indeed.
VERY well written.
Let’s ALL try this.
Today at 7:00 we all close out phones completely for 26 hours.
How can you call this an addiction?
If you were building a house and the hammer would’nt knock the nail in for some unknown reason, are you addicted to the Hammer for wondering if it was broken?
Technology is just a way of life for this generation, in the past it was other things. We adapt, we don’t get taken over.
I recently went to a support evening for moms of special needs children. They had two women at the front door collecting everyone’s smartphones and I watched the panic at the thought of sitting through 2 hours of programming without their phones…The women at the door put sticky notes on the phone stating “call out Mrs X if this number shows up or if Home calls” and that’s what they did. I think 3 women were called out all night. I made so many new friends that night because we were forced to talk to each other around the table… Read more »
Just kidding. No I really like what you wrote.
There’s no real emotion when communicating through an app if you’re not in the same room then at least pick up the phone so the other person can hear the positive inflections in your voice.
Keep the conversation alive.
MZ
I think there are 12 step programs for addiction of this sort. I recommend it for a lot of people as im a different 12 step fellowship. I see when people come to shul and they stare at their phones and use their phones as their siddur, this is probably a sign of addiction and not being able to put down their phones. There are enough siddurim in 770. I dont believe that someone who has to look at their phones by chazoras hashatz and again by tachanun and again during krias hatorah and again by ein keilokeinu and again… Read more »
in big busy families, i know one sibling would never call another, just no time, however in a famil group chat they get to interact much more with each other then if no whatsapp.
Yes maybe it takes up much more of my time now but i am in touch with many more family members then i would otherwise
BUT YES when we are out or conversing face to face, no phone at those times, agreed