ב"ה
Wednesday, 6 Kislev, 5783
  |  November 30, 2022

Our Shabbos Guest Was An Imposter

From the COLlive inbox: Upon reading the disturbing story about the Lebanese man claiming to be Jewish, I feel compelled to share my account of what happened, one Shabbos, in our home, and subsequently, in our community in London. Full Story

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Similar story in our city
November 11, 2021 8:48 pm

We unfortunately have a similar story in our community. The women pretended she was Jewish and was even acting frum. She met a recent baal teshuva in our chabad house. Her story didn’t add up and when they got more serious it was discovered that she is in fact is not Jewish. However, he is already in love with her and won’t break it up. He is on denial and believes her story that she is jew. No rabbi will marry them. However, He would never have gone out with her if he knew that she wasn’t Jewish. At the… Read more »

wondering
November 11, 2021 9:41 pm

I’m wondering why such people don’t convert. If they want to live as a frum Jew, thten it seems the logical thing to do is go through a proper Orthodox conversion.

Don't you see?
Reply to  wondering
November 11, 2021 9:58 pm

You don’t seem to get it. They are either wacky, or have bad intentions.

GOYIM acting like Jews
Reply to  wondering
November 12, 2021 3:36 am

They like the good feeling they get when they are doing all these Jewish things, but they aren’t interested in keeping our Laws and Way of Life, they just like the goodies.
They aren’t truly committed.
They like the frosting

They don’t want
Reply to  wondering
November 12, 2021 4:56 am

When someone converts, it not just a nice thing. They convert because their souls is really Jewish and they feel a pull to be Jewish. These people just want to enjoy the good but don’t really care to be Jewish because they don’t have a Jewish soul

Why they dont convert
Reply to  wondering
November 12, 2021 6:15 am

They may have asked to convert and werent accepted or dont want to be jewish, just want to marry a jew

We stopped having an open house after several prob
November 11, 2021 10:20 pm

We were naive, innocent, do gooders. There was the guy sent to us by Tzach who said he was single but wore a talis. He admitted on Sunday, after spending Shabbos with us that he was married but hadn’t had kids after several years, so he had come to Crown Heights to see if he could find a ‘newer model!’ There was a young man sent to us by an acquaintance for the seder. We already had a young woman staying by us, who told us that she was going to leave the next day. The Rav told us that… Read more »

Amen!
Reply to  We stopped having an open house after several prob
November 12, 2021 4:17 am

Thank you for sharing your experience with everyone, it’s very important for everyone to know the difference between hospitality and endangering your family and friends. When you invite someone into your home, 1 make sure they are safe for your family don’t ever assume. Check references and make sure that those references are people that you can trust. 2 once they were accepted in your home everyone else in your community assumes that if you know them and invite them then they are safe . 3 Daven
That G h ashen protects us !

Life is a test...
November 11, 2021 10:59 pm

BH
BSD

Here we see good kind people doing kindnesses….that have had experiences that preclude them from continuing..those kindnesses….CONTINUE DOING THE KINDNESSES YOU DO…
PASS THE TEST

What exactly is the lesson from all these stories
November 11, 2021 11:28 pm

What exactly is the lesson from all these stories?? That we shouldn’t have shabbos guest?
As far as the wine is concerned you shouldn’t have non-mevushal wine if you have guest who are Jewish but don’t keep shabbos.

Response
Reply to  What exactly is the lesson from all these stories
November 12, 2021 2:24 am

How about honesty from all the people who happily sent us orchim without taking proper responsibility? Or lied about the competency of their mekuravim, even when asked directly? The young woman was a last minute guest. All of the wine had already been purchased for Pesach. We actually had known the young man for a few years but had been told that he was a Yid. He deceived Morristown Yeshiva for a couple of years. Not sure if they ever found out. Our acquaintance should’ve been straight with us. We never thought it was a question. We have continued to… Read more »

I agree no reason to not have guest's
November 12, 2021 4:07 am

Just we need to be careful and keep a eye out , although I am not sure how you would really be able to tell the difference between a non Jew and a non religious Jew , it seems a bit challenging on a practical level , all of this is because of assemilation and because many in the religious world years ago did not listen or even made fun of the rebbe’s war on mihu Yehudi , so takeh it is a bit of a challenge to even tell who is and who isn’t Jewish

Yes be careful
Reply to  I agree no reason to not have guest's
November 14, 2021 12:56 am

But not only with guests whom you don’t know anything about, how about people in your community, that you think you know, who are Jewish. They can also be wolves in sheep’s clothing. No one really knows anyone 100%. Be careful but not overly judgmental. People speak of leaving their non-mevushal wine out, what about your precious children? Achnasat Orchim is very important however keep you eyes open.

From Chazal
November 12, 2021 4:16 am

I think the advice from our Chachomim in regards to guests is to “respect but suspect.” Have guests, treat them kindly, but keep your guard up and trust your instincts.

Surprised
November 12, 2021 9:07 am

These stories happen all the time in many chabad houses
In any business there is a risk , if you invite people to mekarev them , you are open to this all the time
How many people from far foreign countries , you have. No idea how to find out if they are Jewish or not , you are not marrying them , you are not a Beis Din
Don’t stop inviting peopple , just let them have a good time ,just don’t offer shidduchim until you really know

To surprised
Reply to  Surprised
November 12, 2021 10:36 am

Yiddishkeit is not a business and innocent, genuine Jews ARE falling for these deceivers. They have gotten as far as engaged and now this case in the news – the poor woman has gone through an actual wedding. Imagine if that had been your child. Chas Vesholom, if this situation is brushed under the carpet and not taken seriously but people have a “this happens all the time” attitude then we will come to a stage where we will not know MI HU YEHUDI!!!!!

Yes be careful
Reply to  To surprised
November 14, 2021 1:04 am

What happened to the notion of the pintele yid? No one knows what this guy has been going through. Who are we to call him a deceiver? He was living a Jewish life. I just don’t know why he didn’t approach a Beis Din in Texas, where he lived for so long. Or maybe we do – fear of rejection, being judged and chased away. Maybe he got in too deep and couldn’t turn around & let the truth out. I hope someone reaches out to him from a community and talks to him.

whats behind this
Reply to  Yes be careful
November 15, 2021 1:08 am

The family was told by the the Chabad Rabbis that he did not live like a Jew, although he sometimes attended. So what pinteleh yid ?!!

Abuser
November 18, 2021 4:12 pm

What about people that are Jewish, coming from unknown background and can be dangerous? Eyes should be opened at all time. The reason I say that is because of an incident that happened in our house years ago. Adults and younger kids were all around the table with a certain guy that had came for shabbes, because we were registered on list to host tourist or person in need. The guy kept his eyes on one of my sister and when she left the table to get her dvar Torah from her bag in the second floor he followed her,… Read more »

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