New Novel Brings Awareness to Mental Illness

By Sara Spielman

Can you imagine the confusion of a young man, once normal, suddenly stricken with the inability to function or behave properly in the world? Or his parents, who receive a phone call from abroad that he’s being held in a psychiatric ward? When he returns home, he confides in his sister, the only person he still trusts, who soon must make a choice: to accept a brother she no longer understands or pursue shidduchim and forget he exists?

A new novel, “Lemons in the Fog” by a Chabad author from Chicago, Chaya Rochel Zimmerman, lifts the stigma surrounding mental illness in the Orthodox community. It chronicles the struggles of a yeshiva student who is forced to leave Israel during his post-high school year abroad when he develops new and strange symptoms affecting his thoughts, behaviors, sleep, and learning. He journeys through this often excruciating path, sometimes hopeful, that in the months ahead he will find a prognosis and path of healing.

Finding no books in Jewish literature portraying Orthodox youth with mental illnesses, Zimmerman wrote this book with several lofty goals in mind. She sought to help those who are afflicted by mental illness as well as bringing much needed awareness to those who have never had close encounters with it. Although Lemons in the Fog is a work of fiction, it is based on snippets and facts that Zimmerman heard first hand.

This book, published by Menucha Publishers, also addresses the difficult position family members and friends of the mentally ill face, which can put pressure on relationships and make everyone involved feel more alone. The all-encompassing stigma makes it difficult to get help, explained Zimmerman. “No one admits it, no one talks about it,” she said, “thereby making it difficult to seek out help.”

She’s paving the way across all spectrums to bring awareness and help. Rabbi Binyomin Scheiman, a Jewish chaplain for the Illinois Departement of Corrections, the Director of the Hinda Institute, and a Chabad Shliach in Des Plaines, read the book and decided to include it in the Prisoner Lending Library, which services the thirty-five prisons across the state.

Another beacon of light is that new organizations have sprung up within the Jewish community to connect those in need with a professional therapist in confidentiality. Slowly, with more and more encouragement, people are turning to these resources, although the unique challenges among Orthodox circles still remain an unconquered hurdle. “People don’t want to speak to someone non-Jewish because they don’t want them to undermine their community culture and beliefs; however, if the therapist is frum, then they don’t want to see them in shul, or at community events,” Zimmerman explained.

In the world at large, there is much more awareness now of the prevalence of mental illness, which affects an astounding 1 in 5 Americans. They live with some form of mental illness that manifests itself by age 24, including OCD, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar disorder, or Schizophrenia. At least five peripheral people are affected by each person, whether it be co-workers, teachers, neighbors, or family. In spite of these vast numbers, many receive minimal or no help at all.

Zimmerman explains that those who do attend hospital programs often leave without an adequate long-term plan. Although many continue on with good outpatient programs, when these end, there is little to no follow up and many don’t have easy access to regular outpatient therapy. Since this is the point where the difficult transition to ordinary life takes place, many crash soon thereafter.

A bridge to this gap could be adequate support groups. Zimmerman found in her research for her book that “the stigma is so strong that no one will admit that their family is struggling with a mentally ill member. Therefore, it was impossible to create support groups for Orthodox community members. However, when there is adequate support, people don’t fall back as much.”

She learned of one confidential national and worldwide phone conference called Cheskeinu, exclusive to women, but one would have to be admitted first and profess sincerity to get onto the call. On the weekly call women with mental illness talk anonymously and freely, sharing positive and helpful hints, cautiously avoiding recounting any experiences that could trigger another woman’s negative feelings causing regression. Occasionally professionals address pressing issues, such as what to say to in-laws and raising children as a mentally ill parent.

La’briut (“to your health”) was started by a woman in Chicago with mental illness to provide camaraderie and support to others like herself ([email protected]). Once a month the group holds meetings at a member’s home and features speakers on various topics. This past December, Zimmerman spoke about the importance of self-care when you are the main support for a family member or friend with mental illness.

This is a major time commitment and can be overwhelming. Strategies to de-stress included understanding the irrational thinking caused by mental illness and knowing how to defuse situations. She discussed not pushing someone prematurely into jobs or other obligations when they are not yet stabilized or in control of daily living as this will only lead to failure and shame. She emphasized that family members should be patient and understand that their relatives might not yet be capable of showing appreciation despite their outpouring of love. Expecting a warm, mutual, consistent relationship too soon will lead to disappointments. Other speakers for the group have addressed daily living with mental illness and suicide prevention.

Zimmerman herself is particularly attuned to the issues Orthodox young adults face. She writes novels portraying facets of contemporary Jewish Orthodox life that serve as a medium for communal self-reflection. Imbued from a young age with her father’s selfless dedication to others, she has had a lifelong commitment to Jewish causes. Together with her husband, Rabbi Yale Zimmerman, she joined other families in founding a Yiddish-speaking elementary school as well as a local girls’ high school in Chicago, serving on the school boards for decades. She has also presided over N’shei Women’s functions, organized children’s groups and volunteered as a mikvah attendant.

Zimmerman earned a double bachelor’s degree in Education and Math from Brooklyn College, a Masters in Math Education from the University of Maryland, and attended Machon Chana and Bais Rivka Seminary in Crown Heights. It was a course on mental illness with NAMI that empowered her with the knowledge to help others. It’s a national association that originally began as a grassroots support group of mothers struggling to engage with their children who had been clinically diagnosed with some form of mental illness. As it evolved, it focused on securing more services for the mentally ill through legislation.

NAMI offers a popular intensive 12-week course called “family to family,” providing medical information, coping strategies and resources for those living with a mentally ill spouse, child, sibling or other relative. The course enables one to understand the progression and pattern of mental illness, to be proactive, to raise awareness of the fallout that results from the mentally ill making bad choices and the reasons why they might turn to drugs as a coping mechanism or drop out of school, why there might be police incidents or rejection of religion or family. Also explored are the complications associated with misdiagnoses and erroneous medication doses.

Zimmerman states, “Although my book is the story of one person with bipolar [disorder], it’s actually the story of many people’s journeys. It’s a journey of people who were not expecting mental illness and didn’t know what happened to them, followed by failing courses, not coming out of their rooms, or missing work. The initial visits to the doctor don’t immediately reveal the truth because diagnose is difficult with many symptoms overlapping and no definitive blood test. Meds are hard to take needing six weeks to get into the system, and then it takes time to evaluate if those are the right medication and dosage. Side effects can be terrible and it can take years to get stable. Even a stable condition is delicate because when conditions change, the emotional environment changes. People with mental illness can lack predictability, leaving it hard to maintain their dignity and self-esteem. Science has not had the breakthroughs people are praying for and there is no cure; insurance limits therapy – sometimes to just once a month.”

The situation can look hopeless, but Zimmerman offers a glimpse of hope and practical takeaway from the book. “I wrote this book as a work of fiction, enabling my readers to relate to the authentic characters, absorbing the messages in the book. Through the engaging story we hear the voice of a 19-year-old stumbling though the sharp realities of coming to terms with failing to meet up to society’s expectations. In this way I hoped to engender empathy for people in the community who have mental illness without pointing fingers at anyone, hoping to create a desire to help them.”

The purpose of the book is to open the conversation — and to give people understanding and encouragement. “In our midst are those pretending to live regular lives, blending into the community and working regularly, consistent with the extent of their illness. We may not know they’re struggling because they appear to be doing what everyone else is doing, living a fairly normal life,” Zimmerman adds. “However, sometimes, they just can’t go to work or function. It’s heart-rendering and it’s harder to bounce back when there is no one to talk to because of the enforced secrecy.”

When the book hit the shelves, Zimmerman reported receiving positive messages from readers. “Those who had a diagnosis of any of the varying forms of mental illness were pleased to read a novel that validated their journey in the Jewish community, giving them a reassuring feeling that somebody cared enough about them to accurately represent their struggles for others to see,” she said. “Those without mental illness, reported back to me that the realism I had created and the knowledge I gave, helped them understand and have empathy for those who were suffering.”

Buoyed by the feedback, she has been using its story as a launching pad to bring awareness to mental illness and to speak out on the topic, such as at Rabbi Anchelle Perl’s Chanukah telethon in Long Island. Whenever speaking about her book to a group, Zimmerman encourages them to form support groups in their communities.

“You can’t erase the stigma overnight, but community support can help,” Zimmerman asserted. “The group in Chicago, La’briut, is the first time many people can share their struggles with other frum members in the community on an equal basis.”

Zimmerman plans to speak in different cities, including a book club in Maryland and a zoom lecture at the Chabad Women’s Social Hour in Oro Valley, Arizona (today on May 25), to encourage people and communities to make a difference; to share, to help, to be aware. She is also working on getting the book into high school libraries.

“I’m trying to open up a conversation with the Orthodox community, acknowledging the existence of mental illness, as opposed to turning a blind eye and hindering people. It’s a physical illness, with a chemical imbalance in the brain just like any other disease,” Zimmerman said. “We should be asking if we can help; to befriend them, not ostracize them; it’s not their fault. As Jews we need to have chessed even if it’s hard. When one individual suffers, the whole family suffers, and when the family suffers, the community suffers.”

Chaya Rochel Zimmerman’s future novels will include a gripping historical novel of a young couple’s parting and long separation in the early 1900s as they try to immigrate to the shores of America chasing freedom and safety, an endearing story of a teenage girl caught in the crunch of the high tuition crisis, and an intriguing story of why the Jewish families abandoned the small country town that welcomed them.

To contact the author to arrange a book reading or talk, email [email protected] or visit zimnovels.com. The book is available in all local Judaica stores, Amazon and MenuchaPublishers.com.