Answer by Rabbi Moshe Marinovsky, Director of Chabad in Kfar Daniel, Israel and an editor, and author:
You are both correct…
There is no doubt that books are meant to be studied and not just sit unused on a shelf. Adding books to one’s home should lead to an increase in Torah study.
The Rebbe established Hei Teves, the day of victory in the “seforim court case,” as a fitting time for purchasing books and expanding both personal and communal Torah libraries. However, the Rebbe emphasized that the primary victory of the books is in their use—namely, increasing and strengthening Torah study through them.
At the same time, the very presence of many seforim in a home holds great significance. One of the Rebbe’s ten “mitzvah campaigns” is Bayis Maleh Seforim (“A home full of holy books”). This is a hallmark of a Jewish home, infused with the Torah atmosphere emanating from the bookshelf.
Indeed, it is certainly appropriate to study the books already in the home, but we cannot ignore the innovations in Torah literature. In recent years, there has been an impressive output of new books that did not exist before.
Today, we have new halachic works addressing questions arising from technological advancements and changes in living conditions. There are newly published Chassidic texts, released for the first time from manuscripts. We also see commentaries and study aids that make foundational texts more accessible and comprehensible, alongside a wealth of novels and other valuable books in a variety of fields. For those who already own a collection of foundational works and can add to their library, it is certainly recommended to acquire these new books and benefit from the treasures they offer.
In any case, it is clear that such matters should not disrupt marital harmony. As Shlomo Hamelech, the wisest of all men, said, “Its ways are ways of pleasantness, and all its paths are peace.” (Mishlei 3:17)
(Courtesy of Sichat Hashavua)
How about husband complaining about wife’s too many books
i feel so bad for your husband. why would any man marry a wife who thinks like that.
can’t believe it
he can buy whatever Torah books he wants whenever! if you don’t appreciate it, get a new husband and let him get a better wife!
I am shocked to see responses like this like marriage is disposable, don’t make a big deal you are losing the message both of them are right and we can’t judge , we don’t live with them but I see some frustrated people like to take it in others , when I see divorces these responses help to understand.
A – you don’t know the person.
B – every couple dynamics are different.
C – in general reading things are very shallow, when one talks face to face in person, you see their facial expressions and and motions, which you do not get by a written note/text/e-mail ect….
Didn’t the Tzemach Tzedek say this exact same thing to the Rebbe Maharash: First learn the seforim that you already bought, then you’ll buy more.
And then gave him the 50 rubles of his allowance that he asked for with an additional 10. So, it was clearly an important point to keep in mind (to learn the seforim that he has) but in practice should not come at the expense of buying more.
However, our Rebbe told us something else. The circumstances are obviously different.
I understand the wife’s perspective, because I’m in a similar situation. BUT it’s not appropriate for her to be mixing in on something as personal as this. The way I think of it is – there are people who are into all kinds of things. Fancy cars, expensive clothes, watches, etc. Be grateful that your husband is into something as beautiful as holy books! If there’s an issue with it being too expensive or taking up too much space in the house, focus on that aspect and how you can both come to an agreement on how to tackle the… Read more »
It seems everyone is quick to make assumptions about the wife. We don’t know the financial situation of the family and maybe right now chas vshalom they are in a hard stop and every dollar matters.
I had a friend who was at her wits’ end because the husband kept buying sefarim. “The Rebbe said a Jewish home should be filled with them,” he explained. Meanwhile, they had no money for baby food.
It’s a question of priorities. While the purchase of sefarim is admirable, basic needs — i.e. rent/mortgage, tuition, food/clothing — often take precedence. It’s not a question of luxuries, rather survival.
In fairness, this guy had other problems, so he certainly doesn’t represent all Chabad men. His wife was the one with common sense.
There could be good reasons for a wife to ask such a question, and it does not make her a not-good wife to ask! For example, dire financial issues or serious space limitations at home!
Asking the rabbi means she is open to hearing that she is right or that she may be possibly misguided.
I say “Bravo!” for asking!
My wife buys food without looking in the fridge to see what we already have!
😂
My wife buy clothing without looking to see what she already has.