By B.
A recent Shabbos table conversation shed light on a concerning trend in the shidduch scene. As we discussed the challenges of finding a match, one friend mentioned about a group of shidduchim aged women who openly share intimate details about their dating experiences with each other.
This got me thinking, if there is one group of friends that are like this, then there probably are more out there.
This casual sharing of information to friend groups can have far-reaching consequences, potentially harming individuals and sabotaging matches.
The shidduch process is already fraught with challenges. The pressure to find a suitable match can be overwhelming, and the journey is often filled with uncertainty and self-doubt. With the added burden of social media, the scrutiny can be intense. It’s a delicate balance between being open-minded and discerning, all while navigating the complex web of relationships and reputations.
What’s particularly troubling is that these friend groups are often quick to dismiss potential matches based on a friend’s negative experience. If a friend received a simple “no” or “not for me” from someone they dated, the entire friend group may write him off as a potential match. This approach is not only unfair to the individuals being judged but also harmful to the shidduch process as a whole. It assumes that every individual’s experience is the same and that a friend’s rejection is a reflection of the person’s worth.
In reality, every connection is unique, and a “no” from one person doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a “no” for everyone. By dismissing potential matches based on second-hand or information, women may be inadvertently sabotaging their own chances at finding a suitable partner. This phenomenon can exacerbate the challenges for those in the shidduchim scene.
It’s essential to recognize the potential harm caused by these friend groups and encourage a more supportive and discreet environment. By valuing kindness, respect, and individuality, we can work together to create a more positive and effective shidduchim scene. Let’s focus on fostering meaningful connections rather than relying on gossip and hearsay.
I hope that shidduch age women will reconsider saying no to someone solely based on a friend’s experience and instead make decisions that are good for themselves, not based solely on what others think.
There is gossip amongst friends because who wants to go out with a guy who’s not nice when the shatchan says a like that hes the greatest bochur?! Why be burnt twice when once can be traumatizing. Shatchanim should stop lieing and then girls wont have what to gossip. For me I say girls should stop “stealing” bochurim. A girl will say something mean about a bochur to another only that the another girl should find out that the first girl wanted the bochur for herself and she told a lie to the other just that she wouldnt “get him”.… Read more »
I’m not sure you understood the point of the oped….it seems that some friend groups would share details about a date whether or not it went well. The fact a friend went out out with a boy would black list him from all the other friends.
even anonymously if you don’t say the name of the person you are talking about
no lashon hara at all please
Yep, no lashon hara until the couple is going through a divorce. Then you just tisk tisk about the divorce and those poor children from a this broken family. All because you knew something and didn’t say anything.
http://www.shidduchcrisis.com/math-explanation.html
On the flip side , I came home from a date, that didn’t go well. As I explained my story to my room mate , she giggled and said “Would you mind if I dated him.” Somehow my experience with this date, wasn’t off putting but quite intriguing to my room mate . I agreed , and they have been happily married for many many years. However, I do agree with the article. You have brought up very and important points. But also remember the story of a mother who went to the Rebbe and complained that interested parties call… Read more »
This article could very well have been titled, “Women Should Stop Being Women.” I agree about the negative effect of female social groups gossiping about guys, but hey, that’s what we do.
and you are all obligated to follow them. Period.
And the rules tell us to ask a Rov if we may remain silent when a friend is blindly getting into a doomed shidduch. This is dinei nefoshos! Lo sa’amod al dam reyecha! Im lo yagid v’nosa avono! Lack of ahavas yisroel to treat others as you would want them to treat you, by sharing the info!
Letoeles is allowed, idk I see this letoeles
https://cchf.global/
If by “shidduchim aged woman” you are referring to older singles, let me tell you something: we are not getting help/suggestions from shadchanim. Our sibling’s don’t always know how to help, and our parents tried everything. The only people we can reach out to who are willing to share information when needed, and know the guys, are our single friends. Yes, the flip side is deciding someone’s not for you based on your friend’s experience. But most people who have a certain reputation- is for a reason. Are you treating people you date with respect? Are you being a mentch?… Read more »
Exactly. If a guy/girl isn’t a mentch, sorry, but your reputation follows you. As you correctly pointed out, older singles have it hard enough, we need more dating conversations between singles, not less.
I know some singles who have larger networks and are getting suggestions every week, others without the same network wait for months for a suggestion. If people were more open to sharing with their friends, maybe we’d have more shidduchim. In conclusion, sharing is good.
It depends what and how you share…
Excellent points. In reality, this is an unspoken yet expected norm in Shidduchim. The couple who are dating need to be able to be themselves and reveal parts of themselves for the two together to be able to decide whether they are right for each other in marriage. Anything that impedes this ability is likely to cause issues later on during the engagement or during the marriage. So there is a series of unwritten rules of respect and confidentiality that come with dating. Some might say that this issue should first be addressed because it is a halachic issue. It… Read more »
it is not allowed to be repeated to other people!
According to who? Letoeles is allowed, and there is a purpose. How about ppl act respectfully and politely?
The generation where everybody gets their opinions from op-eds, from comments. on the op-eds, or what sounds right to them. It’s not a question of what your opinion is; the question is what the right thing is. Whatever happened to the rules of “bal yomar” (the prohibition to share, anything mentioned to you without getting express permission)? Whatever happened to “holech rachil megalah sod” (not sharing secrets)? Whatever happened to” lashon hara”? There are guidelines and rules about all these things. obviously, there are cases where one may share and it might even be a mitzvah. But being part of… Read more »
Chofetz Chaim again
It seems like the author heard one comment and made up a whole fake situation in their mind.
Most girls share info but are smart enough to make their own decisions when it comes to their own shidduch.
Someone else having a bad experience doesn’t mean you will.
Also let’s be real. The guys are the ones saying no to the girls before agreeing to date them.
Your whole comment doesn’t make sense.
1first you said it’s made up.
2Then you said most girls share info
3-then you said guys say no before agreeing to meet…which isn’t even the discussion.
Is this a real phenomenon or not?
Women and men both turn down options before going out. Don’t blame one gender as the issue.
True, boys and girls say no for many reasons. Some are valid and some not.
The topic at hand is talking to inner circles about intimate details about a date. Yes it does happen and it’s more common in clicks of girls, more often then guys.
Not all girls but all it takes is a one girl to talk about a guy which she dated for everyone in that group to say “no” just because he dated someone in that click.
what people say and do on dates is for your eyes and ears only. Do not lashon hara
The person you dated and acted rude, is a rude person! Your friends SHOULD know!! The person you dated and acted inconsiderate, is an inconsiderate person. Your friends SHOULD know!! The person you dated and acted inappropriately, or drank without a brocha or stared at non-tzniusdik people, is not up to your standards and your friends SHOULD know!!! The person you dated who was disrespectful to the waiter/waitress and thought it was “cool”, is obnoxious, and your friends SHOULD know!! And the person you dated used foul language, lost his/her temper, couldn’t carry a conversation, or only spoke about their… Read more »
do you know how few words the Arizal spoke in his entire lifetime????
I don’t want to hear your slander about any jew. Someone who you claim couldn’t carry a conversation might be like the Arizal! How could you slander them?
do you think every girl can and should want to marry the Arizal?! Some girls want a husband who talks to them and goes for walks with them and even (oh my gosh!) tells them a joke.
If a friend said the date was polite, respectful, but quiet, not sure that it would deter someone else from dating him, ppl should not exaggerate, or belittle, but I don’t think it’s a problem to tell the truth, after all, what are all those reference calls? How are reference calls different?
sometimes people are quiet for different reasons, what if they’re tired, what if they aren’t interested in speaking to the person they’re talking to? Doesn’t mean they’re always quiet. Ridiculous to tell people they’re quiet. Nothing is wrong with quiet people either, anyway
he doesn’t speak lashon hara
True story: He was quiet because he was on his phone texting for nearly half the time. And no, it was not for an emergency because when he actually did speak, he shared the “funny” forwards he just received from his buddy.
You could commiserate with your friends during this painful process but do your due diligence and own research without judging based on what your friend said.
My friend hated that someone she went out with opened the car door for her. I love that. Every pot has its lid. We shouldn’t judge.
I doubt the author is referring to really rude or negative traits. The discussion is about personality- and to each his own.
Have you ever heard shidduch stories? No negative traits?
Decades ago when I was an older female single, my female friends and I sometimes did “recycling”: if one of us went out w/a fellow who was clearly a good guy but just not compatible, we’d discreetly suggest him as a possible match for another single friend.
The one and only successful match I have ever made in my life (so far) was in this scenario, and my friend and the guy have now been very happily married for 25 years, ka”h, with grown children!
Wow…. Way to blame this all on women. I know men who do the same thing too – pass around names through their friend group for “approval”/to make sure none of the other guys had a bad dating experience with her… That doesn’t make it better or worse, but don’t try to pin this on one gender….
boys, you better not do this ever
Seems to lean heavily on the female gender.
Yes men may do similar but not to the same level.
that’s ok though….social constructs are different for men and women.
lashon hara
And the boys don’t ‘compare notes’?
you better not
In my experience, between my friends and my wife’s friends, the girls are more likely to talk about it. Guys will keep throngs to themselves or maybe to one or two friends and give little details
Are you saying that because in your experience you find that your wife is a blubbering yenta, therefore ALL girls are more likely to be blabbering yentas? And if your guy friends happen to be tight-lipped clams, then all guys must be tight-lipped clams?! Let me ask you: if your wife happens to be a redhead, would you say that in your experience all girls are likely redheads?! And if your guy friends are overweight would you conclude that all guys are probably overweight?! Boy, do you make sense.
Have you no sisters, mother, Bubby??!? You’re telling me you never heard your mother gossip on the phone to her friend? You’ve never heard your Bubby tell you useless info about your friend Shani that you don’t even know? It’s safe to say in the battle of who is the biggest yente most would say women win that competition. They yent about shidduchim, tznius, schools, peoples personal lives, business’s, upstate ny, how bad the food is in shul, their kids, their kids friends, their kids friends mother, they even Yent about how bad it is to yent and gossip all… Read more »
Have you never been to the men’s mikveh – you will hear the News before the news happened. Have you never been to a kiddush club – you will hear the latest gossip. Have you never been to a yeshiva – just walk in and the whispering starts as you are analyzed and scrutinized. And then there is WhatsApp…
If the young people are taught from teen years by their mechanchim/mechanchos NOT to talk about their dates with friends, that should nip this problem in the bud! I came to Chabad during the Lameds. We were warned then, at Machon Chana, never to discuss our dates with other girls. This made perfect sense: the dating pool of BTs was really small, and we had no business “mucking up the water” for other girls. So I never talked with other girls about my dates. To my parents and mashpiyos, yes; and I wrote to the Rebbe, yes; but not to… Read more »
As an experienced Shadchan, I can tell you that this is so true! If I may add a point- chances are, that if a shidduch was mentioned for you and it doesn’t work out, it will come up for your friends and vice versa with something brought to your friends. If you are similar in chassidishkeit, etc the same names are likely to come up. By saying negative about someone, you are ruining your friends chances of getting married and they are ruining yours. I can’t tell you how many times people wanted to date a boy (or girl) and… Read more »
Shabbos Meals together does not give you a right to yent about people, including you the author who was yenting about what these girls are doing. We are should try to talk less about people as a pastime, and in general try not to talk about people in a public setting, or to people that don’t specifically need to know crucial info about them. So while the author has some valid points, it seems like she or he was also involved in conversations that were talking about other people.
Let’s all try to be careful about this.
Correct, this is not the correct setting or way, it’s just about entertainment. A private conversation where words are used carefully is a complete different matter.
Very, very sadly learning the many and complex Halachas of lashon hara are, to my knowledge, verboten in Lubavitch. Isn’t it time melamdim and mechanchos learned them and taught them starting in grade 1? Nothing can ruin a life (or a shidduch) faster than lashon hara or rechilus.
the entire Text of Chofetz Chaim’s books on their front page permanently. Instead of non-Torah posts.
Oh, “I don’t want to hear your loshon hara and slander”, so let your friend eat the poisoned food, because if you tell them it is poison, you are speaking loshon hara and slander against the person who sold them the poisonous food. The other side of that coin is “lo sa’amod al dam rayecha” Don’t stand by while your friend’s blood is being spilled. There is no justification to smugly say I didn’t warn my friend that the person was about to stab her because I didn’t want to speak loshon hara it slander. That is the ways of… Read more »
Not sure this is true.
Rebbetzin Miriam Swerdlov is featured on the programs of the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Program
What’s your secret? I haven’t been on a date in like 6 months.
I’m not sure if the writer of this article is aware .. but it is a known thing that the boys have zero filter when it comes to sharing just about everything the girl shared in the confidence of the date. Girls are much more likely to go out with someone their friend did than boys are.
Can’t believe this comment only got so far down. Yes! By the boys, it is much much worse.
If the guy is my best friend and he is still hung up on a girl who broke it off or rejected him. Then yes, if a Shadchan messages me soon after for that girl I’m going to say no. Once my friend gets over her, then I am open to giving her a chance. And the same goes with brothers.
if he was my bashert and he turned me down because his friend was heartbroken over me
Shadchanim would often mention to me that whenever a date didn’t work for my child, two things still happened:
1) the other party always said my child was such a mensch
2) even though it wasn’t shayach for him, my child would try to think of friends/acquaintances who might be a potential idea for that girl.
Every single time. Kindness and ahavas yisroel all around. We’re all in this together. Let’s help each other. You might help someone, or someone might help you!
My point is that a “no” can still be executed with mentchlichkeit and caring.
I went out with a boy 1x , he was not for me at all, a few months later I got engaged as well the boy. He turned out to be a friend of my chosson, and his Kallah was a casual friend of mine. I never said a word to either party. For some strange reason the boy decided to tell my chosson and well as his Kallah, and the friendship became compromised over this. She seemed uncomfortable around me where as before she was friendly . This was many years ago, but to this day I do not… Read more »
Why blame only the women?
As was mentioned above, discussing a date with a friend might help another girl find a shidduch.
Plus how many girls are getting actual good shayach suggestions from Shadchanim?
Plus have u seen how many girls there are on these shidduch groups and barely any boys resumes!!
So you get a resume. you see references. You call random strangers to ask about the shidduch proposal. Are they being honest? Who knows! But you ask them what type of person is this. Is s/he a mentch?? BUT.. if your trusted friends actually went out with this person, and these trusted friends got an Impression about this person…then this Op Ed says: Don’t ask them! Don’t hear from your trusted friends. No No NO, only ask random strangers who will only tell you rosy things about a social misfit or an ego-centric narcissist. No, only listen to random strangers… Read more »
what do you think humans are, items to be purchased????? NO
humans are souls!
Kiddushim is transactional: a kinyan (you can chose the word you are comfortable with: purchase, acquire, possess – a procedure similar to any other kinyan, and derived fro purchasing real estate: kicha kicha mi’sedei Efron). Oops, did you forget? Shadchonim run a business of being agents for the buyer or seller, and get paid a “commission” for their efforts, also known as shadchonus. In the world of “souls”, there is no kinyanim, whether at the l’chaim, the kesuva (a financial contract), the ring at the chuppah, or payment to the agents who helped make the deal. (I won’t even talk… Read more »
…but let us assume (wrongly) that you are correct and your nit picking found an “error” in my comment. Does that change one iota of the substance from my comment??? This is how fools argue. They cannot argue about the point made, so they seek to find a peripheral word that was used on which they can hang their hat. You are hung upon on the “hook” sticking out from the wall, but look at the vast wall. The same with the other commentator below who is hung up on the hook of “social misfit”.
social misfit?
Social misfit is “loshon nekiya” for anti-social behavior including everything from the mild to wild, starting with someone who obviously had not showered for a few days…plus multiple other social challenges and shortcomings/
That the best shidduchim come from freinds that know you and the potential match.
You missed the point that just by sharing a name and details of a date with these clicky freind groups, (whether good or bad) Noone from the group would consider to be paired up with that boy….”because if she dated him I cant”.
You skipped in a word to describe the group of friends: “clicky”, these clicky friends group. You seemed to say that generally, friends SHOULD discuss the names and details of their dates, UNLESS these friends are “clicky” and would disqualify a name just by the mere fact that her friend dated him (even if she wanted to continue but he turned her down). Am I understanding you correctly? That in a unique situation, when the friends are still immature and “clicky”, and care more about their click than their married future, THEY shouldn’t be discussing dates. I would go MUCH… Read more »
You included a word to describe the group of friends: “clicky” – “these clicky friends group”. You seemed to say that generally, friends SHOULD discuss the names and details of their dates, UNLESS these friends are “clicky” and would disqualify a name just by the mere fact that her friend dated him (even if she wanted to continue but he turned her down). Am I understanding you correctly? That in a unique situation, when the friends are still immature and “clicky”, and care more about their click than their married future, THEY shouldn’t be discussing dates. I would go MUCH… Read more »
And once your friend gets married to the guy and is pregnant while going through a divorce, explain to her that you knew this guy but didn’t tell her about him because you read this Op Ed. Good friends should stay loyal to the guy they dated while throwing their real friends under the bus. That’s what friends are for. Makes sense, no?!
We are talking about being discreet. We are not talking about kids here. When you date, you are dating because you are a mature adult that makes adult choices. Obviously if there is a situations where someone would be in danger or there is a real concern…it would be a mitzvah to warn a friend (check with your rav).
However, generally speaking, sharing names and details about someone you dated is not appropriate and can cause unforeseen harm.
What is a “real concern” or “danger” that you agree is a mitzva to warn a friend? Here are some real situations shared: That the guy hasn’t taken a shower in a week? That the guy is abusive to the waiter and thinks it’s cool? That the guy wears a beard and hat but doesn’t care about kashrus and admitted to using his phone on shabbos? That the guy is full of himself and boastful? That the guy treats his date like a child and is condensending? That the guy is addicted to…gambling, porn, alcohol, drugs? That the guy has… Read more »
If your a therapist as you claim, you know the importance of how things should be said. You know better then most how sensitive you have to be in certain situations and dilemmas. Words matter, the way you convey over a message matters. The same is with potential matches. Everyone has issues or went through something in there life where they struggled or struggling with. In today’s day and age, some struggles are more prominent than others. Most the scenarios you offered are uncommon to be seen or learned on a date. Especially early dating. So I’m not really sure… Read more »
Let me break it down to you in “bite size” pieces. Suppose your older daughter dated someone. It wasn’t for her. You wonder if this “fine” boy is maybe suitable for your second daughter. Should she tell her parents that the guy is a meshugener low life with disgusting midos? Think carefully about your answer. Because your daughter is a “sister” to her friends and wants to share the information with them.
“Most of the scenarios you offered are uncommon to be seen or learned on a date.” let’s go down the list, all from REAL stories: That the guy hasn’t taken a shower in a week? (It happens to be the Nine Days, but afterwards – there is no excuse for having body odor, unkempt hair, long nails etc).That the guy is abusive to the waiter and thinks it’s cool? (The jerk will always act like one – he can’t help himself, to bully another, inconsiderate, rude etc)That the guy wears a beard and hat but doesn’t care about kashrus and admitted… Read more »
share your name…so that everyone knows not to come to you for advice. just the way your writing tells me your a phony and you may actually be part of a group that shares intimate details about people…..details as obscene as “his nails are too long”
I would gladly EXCHANGE names with YOU if there is a toeles, such as, if you seek therapy..But you realize you contradicted yourself when you wrote: “that everyone knows not to come for advice” = that you accept that I counsel and give advice, followed by “your (Spelled InCorrectly: you’re) a phony” = that you believe that I am pretending to be a counsellor and that I do not give advice. Which one is it – do I give or do not give advice and counselling? Are you confused? I need to book you an appointment.
The girls seem to be more keen on going out but after dating are quicker to turn down the guy. The boys are likely to turn down suggestions but have a lower chance of turning the date down.
Based on your scientific study? The poll you took? The survey you conducted? Or your fantasy that you wish to make a reality?
My comments are not getting posted because I advocate for “lo sa’amid al dam rayecha” – do not stand by passively while your friend gets slaughtered. You know something, say something! I advocate for Ahavas Yisroel: what you would hate if it was done to you, do not do to your friend. You would want to be told, so tell your friend too. I advocate for the issue of :im lo yagid, v’nasa avono: – if you do not speak up, you carry the sin of silence. Do not hide behind the misguided Loshon Hara. That is called a chosid… Read more »
The Shadchans and references just tell you the good stuff (whether it’s true or not). I have not heard one shadchan or reference say anything negative about a potential date before. And let me tell you…the quality of the men out there is utterly lacking. If you don’t want the ugly truth being said, then act like a mentch. And this goes for women too. It’s just common sense really. Thank goodness we have friends looking out for us because the Shadchans and references are not. And at the end of the day, it’s up to us to decide whether… Read more »
Indeed. the shadchan is like any used car salesman trying to sell you this clunker. The shadchan won’t tell you about the oil leaks, the burned-out engine or the faulty transmission. He will point to the shiny paint job and never tell you what’s under the hood. Wouldn’t it be nice to speak with previous owners who drove the car, and hear from them their true and honest opinion about this car?! Oh, but then they would be speaking loshon hara about the car. News flash: Choosing a marriage partner is a bit more of a serious decision than choosing… Read more »
Good points to keep in mind. Thank you.
I do marriage counselling for couples that are at the edge of the cliff and about to get divorced. The number one point I keep hearing from nearly every couple: “No one ever told me that he is like this. If only someone would have told me…” So many couples jump into marriage with their eyes closed. They trust the shadchon, they trust their parents (who don’t know better) and they trust the references of the resume. If only someone told them… So, dear writer of the OpEd, you are worried that the guy should get the date, that the… Read more »
Dating is for single mature adults. It’s upto them to do there utmost possible to make sure that the person they marry is suitable for themselves.
I hope your not a therapist because you couldnt understand what the author is saying.
Noone is suggesting one shouldn’t do research and due diligence. It should be done discreetly and appropriate manner.
I say, “You know something, say something!” You have a problem with that. You want to keep the defective unmarriageable candidates quiet, so that some poor innocent (and yes, maybe naive) girl will get stuck into a miserable life, eventually with a divorce and kids from a broken home. To you, that is a “mitzva” and your “Torah” wants that by keeping quiet with “loshon hara”. Shame on you.
Another point: You are mistaken when you write that “dating is for single mature adults”. Girls who are fresh out of seminary begin dating. That’s one or two years after high school! I hardly consider them “mature adults”, at most, they are “mature young people”, and not all are very “mature”. You seem to take the approach, since they are “mature adults” they ought to know how to take precautions and carefully weigh their decisions. Do you say the same about adults who are considering a questionable business deal? They are “mature adults” so why tip them off that they… Read more »
post your name
I would post my name but it would cause you and others like you to transgress on loshon hara.
But if you need an appointment, then it is for a “toeles” which permits loshon hora: Dr Coper (hence Kop Doktar).
Where is your office? Would love to discuss further
To the OpEd: Would you kvetch that girls trying to decide on a seminary shouldn’t compare notes with others about their experience in that seminary? It’s “loshin hara”! They are “mature adults” (after all, just a couple of years before entering shidduchim) and should be discreet when asking about a potential seminary. Re-write your OpEd and replace the word “shidduch” with “seminary”, “yeshiva” or “overnight camp” and see how silly it sounds. Here, I did it for you: “This casual sharing of information to friend groups can have far-reaching consequences, potentially harming individuals and sabotaging SEMINARIES/YESHIVOS/OVERNIGHT CAMPS. . The SEMINARIES/YESHIVOS/OVERNIGHT… Read more »
Surely even you must admit that such an OpEd about SEMINARIES/YESHIVOS/OVERNIGHT CAMPS is pure silliness. But posting silliness about shidduchim is okay. It is the Wisdom of the Sages of Chelem.
this article was straight to the point well written and sadly very true but there’s something very similar to this issue but not mentioned in this article and I don’t know if it was ever addressed in a article which might be the primary reason and cause why many singles are going through very difficult times finding their bashert . the loshon horroh is rampant and unfortunately it’s not just girls gossiping to their friends it’s men as well and more shockingly shadchonim are bad mouthing guys and girls and I know this for a fact because I had such… Read more »
How the guy behaves on his date WILL follow him. The shadchan WILL hear about it. The information will NOT be swept under the rug. And it shouldn’t. Is that some chiddush that no one ever heard of? In life, your reputation follows you. Not just in shidduchim but in business and in everything you do. And news flash: No one is mechuyav to cover up your manure for you.
No one is changing their opinion or doing anything different sadly regardless of whatever advice the article is suggesting. The nice thing would be if it gives people room for thought but looks like everyone is set with their opinions and mindset. One thing I would say to keep in mind is that you don’t know the whole story. Your friend might come home and say that a guy was rude but what she didn’t tell you was that she said something rude and he was replying or it could’ve been a number of other things. Maybe your friend completely… Read more »
If your friend comes home and says that the guy was rude – it comes with details: Lots of details. You will hear examples of the How, What, Where, When, and Why. You will hear why she thinks he was sooo rude! (Like when he was disrespectful to the waiter and made fun of him to his face after telling the waiter that he wouldn’t be getting a tip…). If she comes home and says the guy is a meshugener – trust me, it will come with the full story of what this guy did to earn himself the gold… Read more »
When you buy a product, do you read the reviews about the product? Why? Why listen to the loshon hara? Why should the experience of someone else have any influence on you? A bad experience by someone else might be a good experience for you? Besides, you don’t even know who these reviewers are! They might be chronic complainers! They might have an agenda to badmouth the product! But you DO read the reviews and you DO listen to the experiences of others before making the decision of buying or rejecting the product. And that’s just for a product. The… Read more »