By Esther Leah Hecht
As a requirement to receive my master’s in education, I was observing an experienced teacher’s classroom. The teacher animatedly described the math activity and instructions to her students.
A student in the third row stood up, placed her arm on her hip, held her head up high, and began in an argumentative tone, “This is stupid, and I am not doing it!”
Then for the kicker, she continued, “I got my last teacher fired and, I’ll get you fired too.”
I was shocked and appalled to see that our children are speaking to our mechanchim in such a disrespectful manner.
After class, I noticed the student in the hallway so I approached her and started a friendly conversation.
I asked her, “What would happen if you spoke that way at home?”
She replied, “I would never speak that way in my house, my mother would kill me…”
It is imperative as parents to lead by example and display respect and honor toward our children’s mechanchim. We should speak about our own teachers and Rebbeim with reverence and esteem, in the presence of our children.
When I was younger I was fortunate to grow up with this lesson. My father would enthusiastically share stories from his Yeshiva days referring to his Mashpiim and Rebbeim with admiration and pride. Let us try and do the same.
When a parent will discipline a child by telling her that her behavior is wrong towards her teacher and yet at the same time a parent encourages children/teens to be mean and cruel towards her elders…. what do you expect? Parents have to stop given children double messages because at the end of the day children are not taught right and wrong anymore, they are taught you have to be cruel to survive this cruel world. By starting with your elders…. JUST NOT HER MOTHER! Instead of blaming the children – blame the mother. Just dont forget you mentioned your… Read more »
Perhaps I misread, but are you saying our children are being taught to be CRUEL, by their own parents?
In a school my child went to, a student used to threaten the teacher that they would tell their parent to fire the teacher — a truly dedicated, insightful, and all-around-wonderful teacher. Teachers are understandably reluctant to report about such behavior from these darling children of board members. I say that parents who are board members or are administrative staff members of schools their own children attend MUST warn their children about not ever doing anything even remotely resembling such chutzpah! And they must actively encourage their children’s teachers to report such behavior to these same parents — assuring the… Read more »
The real problem is that our society doesn’t respect teachers. We pretend it’s just the non-Jewish society but it’s everyone. We pay them garbage and say how much we respect them, but we don’t put our money where our mouth is.
When a child is unhappy with a particular teacher, it is easy for parents to become emotional and side with the child, sometimes even badmouthing the teacher in an attempt to make their child feel better. This may soothe the child’s distress in the moment, but ultimately creates a serious rift between student and teacher. We need to realize that the child’s version is only half of the story. And althouh in some rare cases there is a serious issue of a problematic teacher, more often there is a simple misunderstanding that can be resolved amicably, setting the child on… Read more »
I’d also add ,
we need to remember who is thee adult in the situation , and here it is teacher vs child be it your child ,
usually a teacher will more then happy to work out a a miss understanding or deal with a student
and yes the parents should validate their child and then encourage them with a plan perhaps having a open conversation with the teacher
This week’s JEM is so important to watch, we always need to keep ourselves clear-headed. It may be difficult and there’s are naysayers, but there’s no greater zchus than being a teacher!
As a teacher, I have had students speak to me like this and honestly it is kind of terrifying. It seriously interferes with the teacher’s ability to give them a proper chinuch. Often it is fueled by some connection or money that the child’s parents have and the teacher is not even aware of, and the teacher is left to tread on egg shells with zero support from the principal. It makes the whole experience of teaching so unpleasant.
This kid and parents are bullies. To her parents she can’t do this because they will kill her! Well said parents got her previous teacher fired etc!
A big part of the problem is that the students know that the administration doesn’t respect their own teachers.
The girl has a big mouth . It’s a generation problem. The kids talk like this to each other and there is mouth bullying in all schools.
Too much talking and opinions everywhere. The kids reflect it. That’s it .
Talk less. Do more.
It’s not a generation problem. There are many respectful and sweet students, with beautiful middos. Majority of kids fall in that category. In my many years of teaching, I find that every year there are a minimal amount of kids who behave like this, and they are empowered to behave like this by their parents. Entitlement and refusing to really see their child, and always running with the child’s story and blaming others, without asking questions. This happens not only with the child’s teachers but also their peers. It is often the same parents that will run around and badmouth… Read more »
For the article. Food for thought.Upsetting to say the least. Adults let’s be more careful with our speech & what language is tolerated & acceptable. Children will follow .
One of my children complained to us about a teacher who he said was “terrible, couldn’t teach…” We met the teacher and agreed that he was not a mench and according to what our child had described of his classroom experience not a competent instructor. My husband explained to this normally very polite and well mannered boy the idea of chain of command. He told him that no matter his opinion of their capabilities or personality he had to respect the authority of those “above” him. He encouraged him to “stick-it-out” for the rest of the year by doing classwork… Read more »
imagine if you (as a parent) spoke to your kids every day that they are SOLDIERS in tzivos hashem. try to make it a point to do it at least once a day. then try to do it twice a day. after a year, you might find yourself saying it over 1,000 times a day to your kids! a kid who has the words tzivos hashem swirling around their little mind, ends up acting every moment with a real purpose, and a mission. no matter what age they are. their every move can reflect their inner identity. a soldier in… Read more »
Very sad what’s going on
I am a very good teacher and I have been teaching for a while. The reality is that in a classroom of tens of students there will always be disruptions, and if there is one teacher able to keep the students who are listening engaged in the lesson the other teacher can resolve the disruption without making all the good students pay with emotional draining waiting for the student who craves attention or is asking off topic questions…to make school a pleasant experience there must be 2 teachers even if your superman you can’t juggle the needs of modern day… Read more »