By Nechama Dena Zwiebel
When was the last time you were searching for something precious or important high and low? After all, if it was a sentimental piece of gold jewelry, it was irreplaceable! You could see it with stunning clarity. Another valuable piece just would not do. Or your child was searching for his other much needed shoe, two minutes before the school bus’s arrival. Therefore, size, shape, color, buckle, Velcro or ties were all vivid details before you. You could feel the texture and describe it to its minutest detail. Could you replace it with a different shoe to make a “pair”?!
One of the suggestions that have been given to shidduch- age men and women is to have real clarity in knowing what is important to them. The Rebbe gives us further directives by teaching “Search for it as if is a lost article,” meaning, knowing exactly what you are seeking. A lost article is something we seek only after we have previously owned it. We seek it because we cherish it. And we are not looking to get a “different” one! So, does the neshama of the shidduch- aged young man or woman seek to find their “lost” soul mate! Lost, because they once knew each other and cherish each other. Lost, because they do not seek a “different” one. Lost, because they yearn to be reunited!
The following true story demonstrates this.
She was perfectly clear with what was negotiable and what was not. Her vision solidified all the fine details. She wrote and revised with precision until all bases were covered, realistically. When she and her vision unified into one, she attracted the one who really fit her vision. Imagine how her decision was solidified inside her when she and her soon to be chosson sat down to write their pan at the ohel and his vision almost echoed her vision! Truly a clear sign of enthusiastic approval from above!
So how does someone in the shidduch parsha practically create and unify with their vision?
More importantly, can the parents play a vital role in facilitating this vision being realized? Absolutely Yes!
One of the many lessons, we have learned in our workshops is that when someone has any need, Hashem has prepared the fulfillment of that particular need ahead of time as we say in morning Brochos, “She’osoh li kol tzorki”- He has given me all my essential needs-in past tense, Whereas, the other brochos are all davened in present tense, i.e., pokeach, he opens, hamaichin, he prepares etc. All we need is to create a vessel to receive it.
Combined with this, we have our Manhig Hador, our Rebbe who loves us and is with us in our trials and challenges. Each year, the perek of the Rebbe has a significant meaning for us at that time period. This year, perek kuf yud beis- 112 describes the most empowering ideal vision: Our top focus, our home, our children, (yes, even the adults), our spouses, our finances, our inner tranquility, our reputation, and our tending to the needs of others outside our family! This perek is truly all encompassing so there’s no need to write and rewrite. We have a shortcut and a customized vision.
Furthermore, the Rebbetzin’s perek 113 is filled with praise for Hashem and ends with Aim Habonim SEMAICHA- The mother of the children is HAPPY! Truly happy! Our ultimate vision as devoted mothers, (and fathers too) incorporated into three words!
So, as we await our children to reunite with their “lost” basherte, how can we help that vision materialize?
Join us in our upcoming workshop series “BEYOND THE SHIDDUCH KNOW-HOW, where you will learn a powerful process of facilitating your shidduch- aged child to meet his/her “lost” basherte.
Workshop Series for MOTHERS
BEYOND THE SHIDDUCH KNOW-HOW
With Mrs. Nechama Dena Zwiebel
Class 1:
Wed, 15 Elul, August 21
8:00 PM
Class 2:
Wed, 22 Elul, August 28
8:00 PM
At the Dalfin home
555 Crown st. #1E
Admission: $25 per class
Pre-registration: $18 via PayPal at
[email protected]
Skype class $13.
For more info call (347) 831-6528
Lots of luck. Its about time
There are limited scholarships available, you can contact the phone number at the bottom of flyer and will receive one.
Nechama Dena advise is excellent. She coached many shidduchs to the chupa. I recommend her to anyone serious about finding a shidduch. Rivkah Leah
I can think of about 5-10 women who are around age 35, whom I would say are lost. So maybe the moshel is not so bad.
My daughter attended the Shidduch Opportunity workshop and gained a totally new attitude towards shidduchim that helped her grown in a positive way. I look forward to attending and I hope that the workshop for mothers will be just as imformative.
How about a class for mothers and daughters together??
Thanks for keeping us out of towners in mind!
I understand that the information is very valuable but what should be with the rest of us who would like to join but don’t have that extra cash?
Nechama Dina know’s how to approach things from the place they really count – she helps people see that it’s not just about the phone calls, yichus and money, there are very practical things that we can do from a ruchniusdike angle that will help get our children to the chuppa!
I am looking forward to attending!
Very well said. hearing her a fee times speaking Its not your typical lecture.
I have heard nechama dina zwiebel speak and she is rite on and Emes. I an looking forward and hope this will take me a step further in finding a shiduch for my daughter
I am so excited and looking forward to this workshop, because the tools that are given are so empowering , and give a lot of
chizuk while searching for our lost object. And most of all, the tools given have proven to be successful.
It is not the typical lecture, and I am sure that every moment will benefit those present, in a very tangeble, practical manner.
Finally a Shidduch workshop for mothers!
Thank you Nechama Dena and to all
those who for put this workshop together.
Looking forward to the workshops!
this is why is very important to know what are you looking for
Respect people’s confidentiality and watch your words carefully, shadchanim. When it comes to relationships and trust between people, you are treading very holy and delicate ground when you decide to talk. It is very hard to take back irresponsible words spoken to others and about others. Every human being is H-shem’s only child and has a worth far beyond your imaginings. Using information for your own agenda is playing with fire.
While it may be the case that we don’t search for the lost object as actively, we, nevertheless, continue to yearn for it, and never completely give up hope of finding it. How much more so is this the case when our soul-mate is involved. The idea is to remain active and positive and to trust that the search ends not a millisecond earlier or later than it’s meant to.
is in gemoro kidushin daf beis amud beis
the moshel is strange, since in life, if we do lose a very valuable object, even if very valuable, we generally give up after a week, or maybe a month, etc. we generally do not look for it for many years. However, with shidduchim, unfortunately, it takes some people (myself included, older bt) many years.