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Tuesday, 15 Sivan, 5779
  |  June 18, 2019

    Don’t Waste a Shalach Manos

    From the COLlive Inbox: A Crown Heights mother can't keep up with the lavish Shalach Manos gifts and offers a solution. Full Story

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    100% Right
    Guest
    100% Right

    i agree!!! so seicheldik!

    oh wow it  s/t happen to  me
    Guest
    oh wow it s/t happen to me

    and who wrote this

    Leah Wolf
    Guest
    Leah Wolf

    Great article!

    kol hakovod
    Guest
    kol hakovod

    Do as you can and don’t worry about “keeping up with the Jonses”.

     you are right
    Guest
    you are right

    people forgot already what the ikkar is, and spend time, money, and energy trying to make it original and with a theme.besides that they buy crystal trays or bowls to put it in , as an addition present. after Purim i am left with many crystal bowls, vases… and how many do i need of those? every year i keep on getting more… better use those few dollars towards tzedoka, and just put the food in a nice bag or just wrapped with cellophane . the mitzvah is about giving food , and not presents to display at home. A… Read more »

    Scroog
    Guest
    Scroog

    Bah, humbub! As a cold-hearted, tight fisted and greedy man, who despises Purim and all things which engender happiness, I fully agree. It is too late for Purim Past and the traditions of yesteryear, but let us salvage Pruim Present and Purim Future!

    Impressed
    Guest
    Impressed

    What an excellent idea! And kol hakavod to you for having the guts to write what so many people think.

    okay.
    Guest
    okay.

    nice letter. I just feel that people have to stop looking at what others have… and do. It’s not just shalach manos, it’s cars, clothes etc.
    There will always be pple who can afford more than you…such is life!
    but the pressure you feel is something you do to yourself…
    nice suggestion,,,but honestly, if they have the money for it, let them do what they want….
    i’m doing a two item shalach manos, I don’t care what everyone else is doing, i’m fine with it, and really, that’s all that matters.
    Yael

    Geat
    Guest
    Geat

    I agree wholeheartedly who needs all that junk anyway? give it to Tzedaka.
    but preasure? who cares do what you want dont look at others its a waste of time and kol haposel bimuno posel, if you think someone else has a problem with you its probaby in your head.

    i have a diff idea...
    Guest
    i have a diff idea...

    since people are going to anyway give the shalach manos the way they want to… it doesn’t help to kvetch about what other people are going to do. the question is what can you do to not look so poor- but still not waste all your money, what i try to do is make up a theme, pick a color, flavor, or any random idea, now because it is cute yours stands out, and you don’t have to have the most expensive foods in there, this way you don’t spent so much. i hope this helps you out
    HAPPY PURIM!!!

    Getting out of hand
    Guest
    Getting out of hand

    Mishloach manot turned lately into a new year’s gift exchanging holiday like the goyim
    your lucky if you find a hammantachen in your basket. these days people give vases and kitchenware
    what’s next? iphones and furniture?

    agree 100%
    Guest
    agree 100%

    right tought, right action, kol hakavod!! everyone should realy do that!! and u can`t say, do what u can and dont compare, we as human beings do compare…
    we shouldnt spend lots of money just to look nice and fancy!

    agree.
    Guest
    agree.

    I agree. May we merit to give eachother shalach manos in yerusholayim!!!
    And I mean it.

    overheard at amazing savings
    Guest
    overheard at amazing savings

    yungerman #1 to friend in store: Sholem aleichem Yankel, what is your theme for Purim this year?
    Yungerman#2: My theme this year is “cheap”.

    To #6 Scroog
    Guest
    To #6 Scroog

    You gave me a good laugh! Are you already at Ad dlo yoda?

    STOP THE PEER PRESSURE!!!!
    Guest
    STOP THE PEER PRESSURE!!!!

    no need to feel pressured no matter where you live, although crown heights seems to be “impression heights”…! if you can go with the attitude that you’re doing what you can and not get bothered by other’s judgemental eyes, you’ll be better off in all areas of life! Plus you get to teach your kids a valueable lesson. Of course tzedakah is an invaluable lesson too…Happy Purim!

    my perspective
    Guest
    my perspective

    No matter how fancy I try, someone else will be fancier than me (actually, many someone elses), so why bother? I just make sure mine look nice, mentchlich, purimdik, and that’s all. That’s my attitude towards many things – including dress – someone else will always be more in style, have more expensive etc, so skip the whole thing, and do your own thing.
    Thanks for the article

    Lavish is one thing...
    Guest
    Lavish is one thing...

    But you must understand Mishloach Manos is one thing and Matanos Levyonim is another. You are correct in the fact that maybe some take it to far, but not all, and not in every place, Mishloach Manos is a beuatiful tradition that is filled with value espcecailly for our kids to see the beauty of this. Tzedaka is Tzedka and is not to be confused with this. Children will hold dear to there hearts minhagim like mishloach manos, tzedka has its place but not in a mishloach Manos basket. I take the same issue with Purim Shuttles or Purim from… Read more »

    tee ess
    Guest
    tee ess

    Many people share this writer’s sentiments. (By the way it’s “two cents” not “two sense”). I’ve heard an alternative view that those who wish to “really get involved” in the mitzva should be able to do so without being nudged by others to pay less attention to their creative indulgences and give more tzedaka. I tend to agree with the latter view. But I’d strongly agree with the article writer for those who cannot really afford to dress up their “MM”. If you’re already going to spend money you don’t have, send the moeny to those who need it for… Read more »

    I AGREE!!
    Guest
    I AGREE!!

    “My suggestion is why not give a smaller basket and instead give some extra charity to a family in our own community that is in need.”

    We’ve been giving just 2 or three Mishloach Manos for the past 15 years. By now our family, neighbors & friends know not to bother giving us as we just give them a nice poem that says where our $$ is going in their honor (we always give to a particular Mosod.). The upside is….we don’t get much stuff that my waistline doesn’t need.

    The downside…there isn’t one!

    A freilichen Purim!

    The Rebbe's shalach manos
    Guest
    The Rebbe's shalach manos

    The Rebbe used to give shalach manos to a few people, i think a kohen, levi and yisroel.
    It included in a plain paper bag: a fruit (orange or an apple), a hamantash, and a bottle of spirits.

    there are creative ways
    Guest
    there are creative ways

    of making every dollar go a long way…I dont know where the other gets her info from, but most people don’t spend 18 dollars let alone 36 on each shaloch manos

    tzedaka instead
    Guest
    tzedaka instead

    A Jew can fulfill the mitzvah of shaloch manos with just one basket. This year we are doing just that. For everyone else, we are giving certificates from our Tomchei Shabbos. Our money will give Yidden a box of healthy, tachlis food each week rather than candy and themes for one day.

    Over abundance of nash
    Guest
    Over abundance of nash

    Isnt there a place where one can drop off any extra shalach manos food/nash?

    TO #24
    Guest
    TO #24

    drop it off at your kids schools, that way bnos chabad, or your childs Rebbe can use school funds for the non food aspects of the activities they do for your children

    Matanos laevyonim
    Guest
    Matanos laevyonim

    Note: In order to be yotze matanos l’evyonim, your tzedakkah must be given to a needy person (not a mossad) on Purim day.

    Matones L'evyanim to the POOR
    Guest
    Matones L'evyanim to the POOR

    NOT to mosdos,
    -were talking about Purim here, lets not confuse

    to #18 Lavish is one thing...
    Guest
    to #18 Lavish is one thing...

    Yes, there’s a special Mitzvah of Mishloach Manos but the Mitzvah is to give ONE person TWO foods. Of course Hiddur Mitzvah is beautiful and it’s nice to give to others.
    But if your giving, use that money to give to Tzedakah. Seriously, how many families are interested in all that Nosh?
    And as for the kids, in my opinion they aren’t thinking about the beauty of giving but the beauty in receiving and gorging themselves with nosh.
    A freilichen Purim. May we all merit to celebrate this holiday with warmth, love, and unity.

    Happy Purim!
    Guest
    Happy Purim!

    It might also be nice to try to give Mishloach Manos to a few families who are most likely not going to receive much otherwise… a bottle of wine and chocolates or fruit for “MM” is a very bakovodike way to help needy families with their grocery bills and Simchas Purim. IY”H, if every family in CH makes a point of helping a few families who can use it…who knows, maybe Moshiach will come to join!
    Happy Purim to all!

    two points
    Guest
    two points

    Two points: Firstly, to the author of the op-ed: to echo the second comment of “Dear op-ed”, you will find much peace of mind and relieve a lot of stress from your life, if you did what you think is right, and what you are comfortable with, without thinking about what others will say. Secondly, to everyone else: let’s admit that mishloach manos has become somewhat of a craze and over the years it lost a lot of the ‘eidele’ feel of the shtetl, and ‘der alter heim’. Kudos to those who send a nice home-made cake and a bunch… Read more »

    Great article
    Guest
    Great article

    I leave Crown Heights every Purim because of the stress. What a shame. I am not the only one.

    I never heard of an "empty box of chocolates"
    Guest
    I never heard of an "empty box of chocolates"

    this is a trend I missed………

    agree
    Guest
    agree

    i agree with #8

    Good thought!
    Guest
    Good thought!

    Nice and sensible idea.
    FYI it’s two cents, not two sense.

    one point
    Guest
    one point

    It’s a good idea, but it can be done without knocking others. Some people enjoy the creativity, and opportunity to give to all their friends in their own personal way. Why not?

    nice idea
    Guest
    nice idea

    Does col employ editors?! There was a whole PARAGRAPH in there without a single punctuation mark (and it needed a ton of them) other than one period after the very last word!

    a different idea - been tested
    Guest
    a different idea - been tested

    in our community – we have a rule. we do not give mm to close friends and family. instead, we go to old-age-homes. make a list of people living on their own. new people in the community and we divide the list. so too with our kids versus their kids. give to people for whom it makes a difference! siblings can understand that and so can good (like-minded) friends. happy purim!

    beutifull yet a bit (or a bit more than a bit) untrue!!!
    Guest
    beutifull yet a bit (or a bit more than a bit) untrue!!!

    this idea sounds very nice and reasonable. but while it is true that ppl spending money they dont have for the wrong reasons is absalutly wring, and it does say in halacha that matonos levyonim is the greatest mitzva on purim, but u do have to recognize that meshloach manos is a MITZVA! and never ever have we found the idea of deminishing in a mitzva so it should not put pressure on others not to spend money they dont have on a mitzvah! and BTW when it says matonos leevyonim is the greatest -it means if u can only… Read more »

    to #31
    Guest
    to #31

    Boy are u missing out!!!!!!!

    Excellent Idea
    Guest
    Excellent Idea

    We’ve been doing this for years. We give to our children’s teachers and a friend or two and send out lots of cards from various tzedaka organizations. (Which by the way are available from many organizations for a few dollars.)

    It saves a tremendous amount of time, energy, and inches on the waistline.

    to #31
    Guest
    to #31

    Instead of escaping, why dont you work out something that works for you and deal with your situation.
    What’s to escape? Where do you go I wonder?
    Maybe a solution for you is to take yourself/family and go on mivtzoyim? That would be a productive “escape”.

    P.S. I LIKE #30 – those were the days when mothers baked with their kids and made it a family project which made the kids look forward to the holiday with zrizus.
    I have fond memories of such that are so precious in my heart.

    Teachers
    Guest
    Teachers

    What if there are about 30 teachers to give to …..what would you do?

    to #20
    Guest
    to #20

    How sad, that people wont give to you because youre not giving back. Are they only gicving so they can get one back? That is very sad. Although our situation is slighlty different, we are on Shlichus, and give out several hundred, and we are lucky if we get one or two!

    BAKED FOOD
    Guest
    BAKED FOOD

    THE ONLY REASON WHY PEOPLE STOPPED BAKING WAS BEC. A FEW YEARS AGO HEPPATITUS CAME OUT. THE RABBONIM AND DOCTORS CAME OUT ASKING NOT TO BAKE BUT ONLY CLOSED PACKAGED FOOD. THE MITZVA IS TO GIVE TWO BROCHAS. iF YOU GIVE A DANISH AND A DRINK ITS COST PRICE IS $2.00AND IT IS VERY NICE,JUST USE YOUR IMAGINATION A BIT.AND YOU WILL DO JUST FINE.pURIM IS A CHILDREN HOLIDAY TOO AND TO ASK TO STOP GIVING SHALOCH MANOS AND ONLY TZEDAKA YOU ARE LOOSING OUT THE WHOLE TASTE OF PURIM.YOU HAVE TO KEEP SMILING AND THINK POSSITIVE AND YOU WONT… Read more »

     you  did   it
    Guest
    you did it
    X