Saturday, 7 Elul, 5782
  |  September 3, 2022

Confessions of a Lonely Shliach

Let's not kid ourselves, Kinus Hashluchos is every Shliach's nightmare, with the kids, Shabbos cooking and housework. COLlive.com presents an exclusive diary written by a Shliach in Los Angeles about life without a wife. Full Story

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psychiatric social worker
February 16, 2010 9:03 pm

Way to go Shluchim! Well done, not just on surving but brilliantly surviving.
Dont belittle yourselves- you all did great. Wives should be proud of you!
I havnt laughed so much for ages, brilliantly written.
bet you all really had a great time and whats more inportant than that!

Hinda Schryber. jerusalem, Israel.

Thank you!
February 14, 2010 7:29 am

Thank you Simcha Backman for all that you do for Shluchim and Shluchos across the world – ShluchimExchange, Beis Medrash L’Shluchim, Shluchos Learning Center, Kinus, etc. etc. It is all greatly appreciated! And, thanks for sharing this great article giving everyone (including ourselves and our wives) a good laugh! You’re always there for us — thank you!

A fellow Shliach.

February 11, 2010 6:03 pm

the best article ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to 58
February 11, 2010 5:14 pm

thtas how bbq chicken loooks like

good to laugh
February 11, 2010 4:07 pm

Sim, nice to put it all in, for all of us to read. We could use more articles like this for a good laugh!!!!

February 11, 2010 10:09 am

ditto to #8

Love this article..!!!
February 10, 2010 4:55 pm

Sooo true, the 6 and a half hours to register, the picture upload and of course choosing a table!!!!!!!!!!!!! You hit it on the button. Yasher koach!

February 9, 2010 3:01 pm

but, what about those of us who don’t have the Margarita and stayed up cooking till 4am Wednesday so we could leave on thursday, not to mention the endless checklists and preparation. BUT, it was worth it! and wonderful to come home to a happy family, even if the beds weren’t made.
The kinus was a fantastic invention for so many reasons!!!! Thank you to all those who organized it! Looking forward to next year.

funny and amusing but a moments thought
February 9, 2010 1:57 pm

“just turn on all the fires on the oven and stove before you leave and Margarita will handle the rest.”

a moments thought for the shluchim left without a Margarita and their wives who have no margarita

Am i not suprised?
February 9, 2010 11:49 am

rabbi , was i not suprised to see that you arranged this bar beque and rally? these things are common for you. Other shluchim thats who i want to see it from. not from the people who are always doing them

February 9, 2010 10:48 am

Ha ha! That was hilarious! Same exact story here! 😉

gr8 artical
February 9, 2010 7:45 am

Thanx guys – we know we can depend on U and we know U’ll appreciate us that much more when we get back – rejuvernated and ready to continue…

Abend fan!
February 9, 2010 7:15 am

The Abend kids look soo cute! Go Rabbi Nachman for organizing this and great article!!!

penut butter and jelly for shabbos
February 9, 2010 7:11 am

thank you that was cute
comment on other comments
i’m sure husband thanked their wives and wives thanked their husbands. the point is there is a knew perspective; appreciation for the wife and that kids and husband can survive on chips and mismatch socks.

February 9, 2010 4:36 am

ha ha!! 🙂 we know what your talking bout 🙂
my mother went away for kinus hashluichos – and ppl could barely get thru the front door! its was a MESS

February 9, 2010 4:21 am

You shluchim look like you are just a bunch of fun
what a messege
hard working under paid blessed with children and having fun
now i see its not your talent its your “soul devotion”

February 9, 2010 4:20 am
February 9, 2010 3:35 am

Didn’t see any mis matches – did you photoshop the odd socks??? LOL great job, fellows- you all do a gr8 job all year long!!!!!!!

February 9, 2010 3:25 am

well done sluchim and welcome home shluchos!!
i love the pix b/c they really illustrate the love between shluchim and their fellows. go shluchim kids and thier dads!!! go shluchim fo the rebbe world wide!!!! we love u!!!

February 9, 2010 3:03 am

sooooooo funny! loved it!
go tattys u can do it!

February 9, 2010 2:00 am

this was so funny…I AM ROTF!!!!
thanks for posting!

February 9, 2010 1:12 am

looks hilarious!! nice try men!! but wat about wen u run away to??? and btw the chicken or wtvr looks abit burnt!!

February 8, 2010 11:15 pm

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room, the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with… Read more »

Rabbi Abend
February 8, 2010 6:49 pm

How very nice of the Abends to host and arrange this event!

no comment about the shluchos being into pictures
February 8, 2010 5:46 pm

has anyone noticed the ties shluchim show up with at the kinus…
and that every man listening to the keynote speaker is thinking i can do a better job…
probably the shluchos spend 6 hours finding a picture becuase most of the pictures are of their husbands taken by thier better halfs…
but anyways!

February 8, 2010 5:43 pm

we here had one good laugh

it think it was so great because of its authenticity

anywats, thanks!

February 8, 2010 5:28 pm

Yasher koiach, Simcha! Reminds me of the old days in Moscow, especially the Crown Royal and herring. Yitzchok, Dnepr

love it
February 8, 2010 5:07 pm

this was the most entertaining thing i’ve ever read on this site!!! you should post more!!

I just Donated
February 8, 2010 4:52 pm

Please donate on that link at the end of the comedy. the shluchim fund is amazing. There are so many shluchim who need help. Pesach is coming up. Please give something. Evry bit counts.

Thank you Eli and all those who generously give to the fund.

Kidding aside...
February 8, 2010 3:46 pm

Stop depending on your wifes so much and just imagine she is still away and the reward will be great.

February 8, 2010 3:15 pm

supper served at 5 pm! keep up the good work!

February 8, 2010 2:54 pm

Judging by the pics, these fathers/husbands didn’t do so bad after all… It can always be worst…. Great article!

gr8 pics
February 8, 2010 2:21 pm

they must’v had goooood supper!!!!!!

February 8, 2010 2:17 pm

we were cracking up

Rochel Chabad Las Vegas
February 8, 2010 1:59 pm

Best story I’ve read in a long time….so funny yet so true!!! Welcome home Mommies…..the secretaries missed you!!

too funny!
February 8, 2010 1:43 pm

loved the article! was deff a great laugh:D!!

February 8, 2010 1:42 pm

laughing so hard..
so true!

Chani V
February 8, 2010 1:36 pm

OK, so I am reading this article and laughing, as I remember, two years ago, walking into the pizza world on fairfax, and seeing the Baitelman MEN contingent of California Shluchim and all their kids sitting and having pizza,, I wanted to take a pic,, and the guys said no,, I thought it would humor the wives to see how well taken care of the kids looked,, (ALL SOCKS WERE MATCHING!!) and here we are two years later listening to some more of the same!! Well done men!! Well done kids for putting up with your fathers!!!

Super Bowl Or BBQ for the kids?
February 8, 2010 1:28 pm

so what did the kids do, while all the guys watched the SuperBowl at the party?? 🙂

the pictures
February 8, 2010 12:42 pm

are just too funny!1

The Sluchos who help Rabbi Nachman!!
February 8, 2010 12:26 pm

Go Chayale Shpigelman & Mushki Hilel !!!

February 8, 2010 11:43 am

Nachmans the Best

February 8, 2010 11:38 am

Lol!!! Especially the part about the picture and having to seat next to their best friend and then changing tables 100 times!! so true!

we still miss u
February 8, 2010 11:25 am

welcome 2 a mommies life!!!

we love you mommys oh yes we do
February 8, 2010 11:18 am

we dont love anyone as much as you… and when your away from us we’re starved! oh mommmys we love you!

great idea
February 8, 2010 11:15 am

looks like you guys and kids had a great time, so healthy for you all!! how about enjoying it more often and give the shluchos a day off more often!!

Eli Rosenfeld is the man
February 8, 2010 11:03 am


In between writing these side splitting articles (for those who did not find it hysterical, PPPPUUULLEEEEEASE!), Eli also has organized the fund whose link is at the end of the article for some Shluchim who are, unfortunately, in dire straits, financially.

You can help! Even $18 is appreciated. Please give $2 for every time Eli made you smile and bring a smile to a Shliach in need.


Moshiach Now!

funniest part
February 8, 2010 11:00 am

you know what’s the funniest part? the shabbos candles and plastic still on the table..Sunday evening! love it!!

EVEN the one(s) who wrote and inspired this enjoyed!
February 8, 2010 10:46 am

So I did too!

February 8, 2010 10:36 am

i am a dad and i am laughing. its so funny. veryy well written and very witty. ladies its true we really do appreciate all the little things you do for us

February 8, 2010 10:35 am

goo nachman!!!!!

I agree!!!!
February 8, 2010 10:28 am

Hear hear!!
I heartily agree!!!! (with 27!!)

First time!!
February 8, 2010 10:07 am

I think this is the first time that aCOL article got soooooooo many positive comments!! Except for those 1 or 2, everyone enjoyed it all alot and had something good to say !!! What a welcome change!! LONG may it last! Pleasure to read it all!!

February 8, 2010 9:52 am

was good for a laugh!

February 8, 2010 9:44 am

very well written i rally craked up quite a few times. btw so true!

dont feel bad
February 8, 2010 9:43 am

you guys really look like you are struggling! BBQ? nice.

February 8, 2010 9:35 am

thanks for the laughs

Simcha Backman
February 8, 2010 9:34 am

good to see you !!!
Looking Good !!!

to #16
February 8, 2010 9:28 am

don’t be so sure.
what a great article! great to laugh except for the spoiler comments. makes me def appreciate my husband who takes care of the clan so well when i’m away.

very nice
February 8, 2010 9:26 am

i think that these are the type’s of stories col should be publishing.

ch mum
February 8, 2010 9:24 am

Great it was so funny
Dose all husband makes fun of there wifes?
well done

Go Chatsworth
February 8, 2010 9:10 am

Yay Spritzers!!!

so cute!!
February 8, 2010 8:55 am

at the end of the day, shluchim are people too….kol hakavod to all the shluchim and shluchos!!

to #13
February 8, 2010 8:44 am

good morning! (unless you live in russia and never heard of starbucks)

Simcha and Nachman are the men!
February 8, 2010 8:43 am

Go California Shluchim!

this is a hit!!!
February 8, 2010 8:41 am

gives a whole new perspective to a mother/wife/shlucha’s work!

February 8, 2010 8:37 am

is starbucks kosher?

February 8, 2010 8:32 am

fantastic article, really had a good laugh. as they say “Jokes are funny ways of saying serious things”

February 8, 2010 8:28 am


thank you eli rosenfeld!
February 8, 2010 8:28 am

the humor in the article was great!

February 8, 2010 8:27 am

No.4. . give us a break!!!!!!! This is all being written in total jest!! Its GOOOOOD to laugh now n then, very healthy too, and everyone knows how much the Shluchim appreciate their wives, BIG time!! So have a laugh. . its good for you!!

February 8, 2010 8:23 am

So funny and oh so true.. BTW.. impressed that the kids all look clean and are wearing clothes that match!! kol hakavod.. thank you for sending your wives,, they really enriched our CH atmosphere this shabbos..

ch mom
February 8, 2010 8:15 am

the pics are great! you guys all survived, B”H! IY”H next year in yerushalayim with The Rebbe!

very entertaining!
February 8, 2010 8:14 am

loved it
you shouild compile a book!!

A time to thank.
February 8, 2010 7:58 am

nice article.
when your wife comes home, she will thank you. now instead of her thanking you, you should be thanking her. look how much she has been doing the whole year. Take this as a time to thank her, and show your appreciation for everything she juggles the whole year!

February 8, 2010 7:52 am

I don’t think its nice to make fun of the shulchas in the convention because when its the men’s turn they are all after a lchaim to care what table they want to sit in.

Sense of humour, par excellence!!!!
February 8, 2010 7:44 am


wow, hilarious!!
February 8, 2010 7:43 am

Im sure everyone survived just fine….

great article!
February 8, 2010 7:41 am

well written- and funny!