‘Chinuch Must Be With Love’

Question: What did 25 years behind the principal’s desk teach you about chinuch?

Answer: I will never forget when an older student bursts into tears in my office saying, “All they cared about in yeshiva was my brains. I just needed to sit and learn, learn, and learn some more. What about me as a person? What about my feelings, not just my brains. Aren’t they important too? What if my brains are not that good, am I worthless?”

The Talmud quotes Rabbi Chanina, who said that he learned the most from his students. I too feel privileged to have learned a lot about chinuch from my students. They have given me the greatest perspective.

The Alter Rebbe writes in Tanya (Igeres Hakodesh 27), that all Hashpo’os come through Ahava. I learned, that a Mechanech must possess a deep love for each child. Not because of the child’s high test scores or because he makes my school look good etc. Rather, just because he is a child in my school. That’s it! He deserves my unconditional love. I also learned, that the more challenging a child may be to love, the more this child desperately needs my love. As the principal, I needed to see the child through the eyes of his parents – a lovable, cute, adorable child.

This then led me to the next phase of what we all call “discipline with love”. I would personally rephrase it by saying, I learned how to discipline, notwithstanding the love I have for the child. I say that, because it is absolutely essential to have the love first. Missing that component, the Chinuch aspect of the intended discipline will likely be completely lost.

Question: You talk a lot about the love for a “child.” You hardly use the word ״student.” Why?

Answer: That’s a profound question. I feel that in order for my interactions with my students should be successful, I need to view them as children. Not just students. Not necessarily as my personal children, no, but as “children.” Every student is a child with feelings, past experiences, aspirations, fears, opinions and hopes. They are much more than just students. They are a whole world. We need to make it a priority to see our students as people/children and make sure that they feel cared for and loved.

Question: What made you decide to switch careers and to open a new Mesivta 3 years ago?

Answer: I am a firm believer that any mechanech, as good as he may be, must continue to be a “mechadesh.” I was the principal of Cheder Chabad elementary school for over two decades; seeing so many children/ students struggle as they reached adolescence, moved me to want to found this Mesivta with very specific goals in mind. For many years I have been listening to parents and students both locally and beyond, to hear what they really want. Mesivta Ohr Temimim Lubavitch Toronto was opened in response to this overwhelming demand. Parents and bochurim needed a Mesivta where Torah learning was at the high levels befitting a Tomchei Temimim atmosphere, while also providing the opportunity to obtain an accredited diploma. While some parents wanted a full-fledged accredited program, others wanted only the basics of Math and Language. We accommodate all our families. Bochurim who only want the basics, learn additional limudei kodesh.

Question: Are your students mostly from Toronto?

Answer: Our bochurim come from all over. We have students from Los Angeles, Crown Heights, Monsey, Ottawa, Chicago, Montreal, London, Edmonton, and, of course, Toronto. This group of parents and talmidim chose Mesivta Ohr Temimim Lubavitch Toronto for one reason only; they don’t want to compromise on their chassidishkeit.

Question: Was opening up this mesivta your own decision, or did you consult with others?

A mesivta don’t open on someone’s whim nor was not opened overnight. It was a dream of a number of years. When I felt the time to realize the dream has come, I consulted Chabad Rabbanim, shluchim and high level askanim in Toronto, across North America and even Eretz Yisroel. They all wanted to know what were the goals and why was the mesivta needed in Lubavitch. After answering their questions, the overwhelming response was a resounding “Go ahead” and they wished me much Hatzlocho.

Question: So what are your goals and what is the Chinuch approach of Mesivta Ohr Temimim Lubavitch of Toronto?

Answer: The Mesivta was founded with high expectation in all areas, but without losing sight of the individual’s needs. Caring for our bachurim’s spiritual, physical and emotional well being is of the highest priority for us at Ohr Temimim Toronto. Children may not remember (in a few years) all of what they learned, but they will always remember the way they were made to feel. When bochurim feel safe with their hanhala and magidei shiur, they learn to trust, and they grow. We as chasiddishe educators have the responsibility to empower them to grow into their best chasiddishe selves.

It is a basic human need to feel understood, acknowledged and cared for. We make it a priority to listen to our bochurim, really listen. Every bochur has a (slightly) different language. It is our job to learn them all and become fluent in them. Rabbi Eliezer Posner, our esteemed menahel, and magidei shiur, Rabbi M”M Shusterman and Rabbi M”M Landa all have the gift of knowing what a bochur’s individual needs are. If every bochur who graduates Mesivta after three years, feels more successful with his learning and more positive about himself as a Yid and the Rebbe’s chossid, than we are doing our job.

Our goal is not that bochurim follow the rules only when they are under our roof. Their time with us is very temporary. The goal is much greater, and much more important. The goal is to inspire them and empower them to make the best choices extending far beyond the Mesivta years.

Educating tomorrow’s generation of the Rebbe’s chassidim is a tremendous responsibility. It is our hope and goal that every bochur’s Mesivta memories will be his favorite memories.

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For more information about Mesivta Ohr Temimim Lubavitch Toronto, visit ohrtemimim.com or email the dean Rabbi Baruch Zaltzman at [email protected] or menahel Rabbi Eliezer Posner at [email protected].