Not the only solution, but a very important one
Thankfully, we live in a time when child abuse has been brought to the forefront, allowing us to begin fighting this terrible reality in our midst.
Until now, emphasis has been on teaching children their rights to privacy, that their bodies belong to them and no one else. Predators are being exposed, enabling parents to protect their children and giving victims a chance to heal and move on. Certainly, the risk of being exposed also serves as a deterrence for would be predators.
However, I do believe that not enough emphasis has been put on teaching a very simple halachic concept that our rabbis have instituted thousands of years ago to protect girls and women, and that is yichud. The laws of yichud cannot protect male victims of sexual abuse, but they certainly can protect female victims. Amazingly, the laws of yichud apply to a male being alone with the girl from the age of three!
In most cases where a male abused a girl over the age of three, there was a breach of hilchos yichud.
Yes, hilchos yichud will not protect a girl from her father, brother or grandfather, but it would protect her from other family members including uncles and cousins, and certainly from any other male in her community.
Many girls are going to camps to work as counselors etc.,
Does your daughter know the laws of yichud? Does she know that she is not allowed to be alone with a man, this includes driving on isolated roads, or even being in an unlocked room where noone would enter without knocking!
This article is definitely not an effort to blame victims, it is to spread awareness of the amazing empowerment that halacha has given to women.
Many no Jewish cos and.institutions have adopted a firm rule of NEVER allowing a situation to occur in which only one staff member would need to stay with a single child.
Its time our camps and schools imlement this rule of Yichud for the safety.of our children, and even if only for the protection of the adults too, so as.never to allow such a situation to arrise in the first place.
to #16 Strongly suggest that you learn the laws of Tznius and the laws of Yichud. Tznius starts at 3. Consult your local orthodox rabbi to find out why. Tznius is a precursor of safety especially for girls. Teaching and applying Yichud should begin when teaching and applying Tznius begins: AGE 3! If a child can be told to “do something/wear something because that is what Hashem wants Yidden to do, because it is good for us” then the training for Yichud can be at the same age as the training for Tznius. However, if parents cannot be bothered to… Read more »
I have heard that there could be an issur of yichud for a man even with other men in certain situations.
I believe men, women and children of any age should equally take these halachos seriously. Since the explosion of CSA cases being exposed, I find myself uncomfortable going to the men’s’ mikveh, knowing what has gone on there… I am also unsure whether I would allow my son to go there until he is much older, perhaps even at age 18.
I’m pretty sure it was Rabbi Bell who gave a shiur a few years back on the Bais Midrash L’Shluchim online forum detailing important and relevant halachos as they relate to common summer camp circumstances. It behooves the COL editors to try to obtain and post a copy of that shiur or a similar one for toeles horabim.
The laws of Yichud, was written by Rabbi Dubov, from England.
any Lubavitch Judaica store has it!
by Sichos in English
The Rebbe ztz”l also pointed out these laws apply even to parents who adopt children of the opposite gender and in marriages to people who have kids of the opposite gender. For example suppose Avraham is megaresh Sarah and Avraham then marries Rochel who has a girl and Sarah marries Shimon who has a son. Avraham cannot be alone with Rochel’s daughter over age three and Sarah cannot be alone with Shimon’s son who is over age 9. It is silly and pointless to argue whether these halachas were intended to protect girls or boys or men or women just… Read more »
There was a day camp in California
That wrote to the Rebbe about problems they were having
During the summer.
People breaking arms and worse.
And the rebbe said
They should pay attention to the תערובות
From the boys and girl camp staff.
Maybe someone can verify.
The exact Loshon.
The laws of Yichud were meant to prevent men, just the same as women of all ages from improper behavior.
Your comment is unfortunately misplaced. It is in no way gender specific. The תורה says it straight, beautiful and healthy for both men and women individually. It does not have to be the same message for both.
peditors don’t give a hoot about Halacha, but hopefully potential victims do.
Just like we read the safety book to kids to teach them about safety, which predictors don’t give a hoot about.
Teach kids Halacha.
when I learned about yichud in middle school, we were taught that the halachos of yichud were meant to protect us.
This was a litvishe school over 20 years ago
Not yichud but keep in mind with people visiting family in the summer. A girl over three cannot sleep in the same room as a boy age 9 and up.( not talking about siblings)
….but yes…men and bochurim do need to learn it too. And rabbis that will be working in the summer with girl counselors should be extra careful!!
i think the point of this article is not to wait for high school, personally i speak to my boys about protecting themself in the mikva from the youngest age, and i speak to my daughters about yichud, if the halacha applies to a 3 year old girl, she should know it, obviously in a sensitive way
why else would the rabbis prohibit yichud with a girl from the age of three, no girl at that age could be guilty of doing ANYTHING to bring a man to sin, it can only be the other way around
The cgi in Melbourne enforces hilchos yichud; meaning what applies with a man and a girl applieswith a counselor and a kid alone anytime. As well as all staff over 18 having a background check and a working with children card.
Thank you
According to many Poskim, the laws of Yichud also apply to two males. Although this has not been accepted by all, in this day and age it would certainly be worthwhile for Yeshivahs and camps to up the standards. Indeed if young boys are taught about Yichud – that it can even apply with two males – it could/would prevent many undesirable situations.
Bochurim and grown men need to know the halachos, too.
This article actually rubbed me the wrong way. Besides for **another** nameless op-ed.
yichud was made to protect girls and women from being taken advantage of by men
In my school we first learn the laws of yichud in 9th grade
And we have a bayis yehudi class in 12th that reviews them
And usually before summer vacation a rav will come in and talk to us About proper summer conduct .
This should be directed at boys and girls. And both need to learn how to protect themselves from predators.
Even men who learn this halacha, do you think predators who are ill with a disease will heed the laws of the Torah?!
If only…
But certainly not just for the girls to learn, bochurim, shluchim, camp directors etc. would all benefit from a review of these Halachos. So much strife could be avoided in our communities if people would adhere to the laws of Yichud. This is also something the Rebbe was quite strong about the need to enforce.
It’s just as important for boys and men to learn these halachos!
You’re 100% right
But yichud wasn’t made to protect girls from CSA. It’s an added bonus, but not WHY it was made.
men also need to learn
This should be written as a gender neutral article. Instead it comes off sounding quite sexist
bochurim and married men need to learn and practice too