By Rivky Wolf, MS SpecialEd and a Hebrew/English reading specialist
Many children are academically successful and cruise through school. They complete their homework and assignments and turn projects in on time. They have an overall average report card with good grades. However, what about the child who faces weaknesses in learning and doesn’t do well in school?
What if that child is yours? How do you know if he or she is struggling?
The first and most important part of helping a child who is struggling is being aware that he is having a difficult time in school. Does your child have a hard time reading? Does your child have good listening skills and appropriate reading comprehension? Can he or she write on grade level? How is the child doing in math? What are his or her attention and focusing skills? Can he or she organize? Can he or she think and plan ahead? Does your child have the ability to keep up with age or level appropriate school assignments?
If your child has difficulty with any of the above-mentioned skills he or she may have a learning disability.
Learning disabilities are neurologically-based processing problems. These processing problems can interfere with learning basic skills such as reading, writing and/or math. A learning disability may also inhibit higher level thinking skills such as organization, planning, time management, abstract reasoning, long and/or short-term memory, focus and attention.
Many children with learning disabilities are as smart as or smarter than their peers. If your child exhibits signs of a learning disability he or she needs intervention. Your child is not lazy! Your child IS trying and probably harder than his or her peers.
Children want to succeed. No child goes to school with intentions of failing and misbehaving. If a child is not doing well in school, it’s because he cannot. It is not because he doesn’t want to. Motivating a child to do well, will only help if he or she actually has the skills to perform. When the child doesn’t have the skills he or she will tend to compensate. While in preschool and lower grades it’s easier for a child to compensate missing skills and hide a disability. When school assignments and subjects become more difficult and hiding doesn’t work, problems are more visible.
Some of the more common learning disabilities, or disorders that can influence or cause struggles in learning, are dyslexia, auditory processing disorder, weak memory, executive functioning and ADHD.
Dyslexia creates a challenge in learning to read, spell, or write. One in five people suffer from a form of dyslexia. Having an auditory processing disorder makes it difficult for a child to follow what’s going on. It can be in comprehension, in following directions and sequencing. ADHD affects one’s focus, concentration and much more. Having a deficit in executive function skills effects planning, organization, attention and time management. Some deficits in executive functions may mimic ADHD and receiving a full diagnosis is helpful and beneficial.
Learning disabilities can range from mild to severe, but a child who is treated with love, acceptance and intervention can flourish and accomplish what others may not. When there is denial a child suffers. When there is acceptance there’s a chance for improvement.
Don’t wait for a child to outgrow the difficulties and challenges they face in school; because chances are that they won’t. It will most likely get worse. If you think your child may suffer from a learning disability, do something about it. Your child is not lazy, he or she can’t do what is expected and is crying for someone to intervene and help.
Dear parents, you were given the gift of this child, to nurture and take care of. It is the safety and cushion of parental love and deep responsibility that is of foremost and supreme importance. This goes a long way in shaping the child and ensuring that his growth and ultimate success is taking place in a healthy and positive setting.
Although we BH have schools, with devoted teachers and professional therapists, it is ultimately the parent’s responsibility to raise their child. If the school setting isn’t giving your child the instruction he or she needs, you may need to change that setting. The school may not be equipped to cater to that child, however disappointing or upsetting that may be.
You need to highlight the child’s strength and capability and ensure progress with each success. Target the disabilities, teach the child with the right instruction and permeate with much love. A child that experiences success on any level will feel triumph. Let us remember, there is no standard that each child has to measure up to besides his own. Keep up the growth in a positive, exciting and genuine way.
For the learning disabled child, which is 20% of all students, the time spent in school may be filled with dread and difficulty. When you celebrate his strengths, target his disabilities and instruct in a suitable manner the child will recognize that success on any level is success. The child will know that he has only to measure up to himself.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1767119960173778/
The goal of this group is to provide support and education to parents of children with various learning styles and needs. With the right support parents can help their children unlock their strengths and reach their full potential.
Check out
http://ldaamerica.org/
https://www.understood.org/en
among many others….
FYI there are other reasons people don’t sign away.
Your probably a paper-worker clerk so you wouldn’t understand much about how things work in the real world.
Just don’t hurt anybody with the things you say about them that aren’t based in reality.
Thank you Rifka Wolf,for confirming our beleif in learning disabilies,and when we fail to get through to a child,it must be because it’s not out fault,but because,that is how HaShem made it,something is wrong with its brain,etc. It’s real. so we shouldnt have guilt feelings,etc.Once we accept that it’s real, and only then,we can start treatment. Although the big D.R.’s have yet to attribute a cause, to so vast a spectrum,or even a describe a mechanism,in the brain,or it’s chemical or biological components,nonetheless,aswe now know,Unanimously,that it’s Real.So,thank you thank you Rifka for your deep concern and caring for everybody else,… Read more »
I think I know someone who has dislexia for a fact – he couldn’t even sign his own name despite there was a big “X” that said “sign here” – what’s so hard to sign when there is such a big X right in front of his nose? I know, because he had dislexia. And that’s a FACT.
i am saying that because he had a learning differenc, the jewish children and their parents were wicked to him, and laughed and taunted him. this has caused more anxiety. are you able to understand this. but those children and their parents are very ignorant and look down on anyone who is not in the click, and it doesnt matter what their level of observance is,people are people, the sad thing is that they are all jews, and very wicked ones. as the numbers increase in disorders, the chances are very likely that thse children and their parents will have… Read more »
My husband refuses to label out son or talk about it, because he thinks I’m calling him stupid by saying he has a disability. His side of the family refuses to acknowledge or talk about, bc if he doesn’t look physically disabled then it’s just an over reaction of the new everyone needs therapy culture. For over a year after the diagnosis my husband and I argued about his needs it treatment, especially since he refuses to accept he has a disability. Finally after another argument I described it in terms my husband could relate to. I told him that… Read more »
For two years teachers gently pointed out to me that he needed to be tested for some type of disability. I ignored it not thinking that they were obviously wrong, he’s still little, he will grow out of it. Eventually I listened and they were right. After the initial shock, the administrator was very helpful and staff was very helpful in getting therapist to come to school or readjusting the class structure for him. Like he might need an extra few minutes to run around in between assignments. I delayed getting him tested, but now that I did I’m so… Read more »
#11Therapists are not a problem if it is approached in the right way. My son goes to the Learning Center at his school and my other son is so jealous that he doesn’t ever get to go which is a huge credit to the school. I also find i so frustrating that people always challenge whether my child has a correct diagnosis or if I am paranoid. So I would like to invite you to my house and see how you would manage with my child with ADHD. It is so hard to live with a child with real ADHD.… Read more »
A person who disliked my family, assessed my child in pre-school and gave me this news.
Although she was an expert in her field, my husband and myself were experts in ours.
We chose NOT to go with her program for him because we had a ‘real expert’ assess him and he told us that he was perfectly normal(as we knew)
Bottom line- he was top student in his Yeshiva(and the youngest), top in his prestigious smicha program
, and is now a dayan. This same person was shocked many years later when she learned of my son’s success.
13,
Are you saying your son has some congenital LD and that blemish has elicited response from the other healthy children who in turn made fun of him? Or are you saying that they mercilessly beat him so much for a duration so long that they have damaged his natural cognitive growth during the critical periods of early childhood development?
I don’t know about outside CH, but in CH, most of the teachers and principals aren’t professionally trained. By professionally, I mean any long term course provided by proven educators with certification in such. So any student in such environment who can’t or doesn’t learn is probably not challenged or disabled from the self. Chances are any student with school difficulty indicates a problem with the teacher and educational system – which should provide information and tools to all comers. Most of the questions in the post are geared to real schools with real curriculum, real standards, real accountability, real… Read more »
It’s not the teachers job to diagnose, only to notice a pattern and present it to the parents. There is no amount of training that would help the teachers, what you are looking for is the difference between an educator and a behavioral specialist. I hear it all the time, school will “fix” the kid and largely unless you are working with parents and the child it won’t.
#8 and 13 understand the point. this is about real reading struggles, real comprehension struggles. real focus issues……. those that are reacting with negativity clearly dont have a child thats struggling….bh. happy for u!!!
Our son is gifted and hugely intellectual. He has a processing difference and was terribly bullied and cyberbullies by children and laughed at and called retard by parents at his primary school in the UK. My son, is now being educated by a Yale Phd in physics, whio teaches him on a level the teachers could never have done. Parents, please do not think your child will get better without help and support, and do not make them go to a yeshiva or school where its useless. The teachers in London were useless, and the children and their parents wicked,… Read more »
degrees are not hard to come by nowadays? i heard it costs around $30,000 today to obtain a degree..why would want to shell out all that money if theyre not invested in helping children/ they went thru many tests and observations to get where they are..use your head and interview therapists beforehand..see if you approve of their methods, then _ go ahead and help yuor child get the help and confidence he needs to succeed in the future..
It isn’t fair to simply downplay the dynamic without presenting some sort of alternative approach. 1. The first thing is for parents to take a deep breath: your kid is probably normal. 2. The second is to push back (gently) because teachers (especially in pre-school, for whatever very strange reason) and admins are super trigger happy with these diagnoses. Get a second opinion if you have a doubt, because kids aren’t stupid no matter the age and hooking him with therapist sends a very strong message that he/she internalizes, so we need to start getting more conservative. 3. Understand who… Read more »
Most parents want to help their children but may not know how, i would love to see teachers (mostly men)get “some ” training(the women go to seminary and get some skills ) so they could understand the child they are trying to teach and secondly guide the parents who need guidance. There are some wonderful” rebbie ‘s who love to teach but just don’t know how to deal with children who need even a little help.men should go to “seminary “to get some skills so they can do a better job. Talking from experience with these well meaning teachers that… Read more »
Yes, number 8, that is why education is much better now than it was in those olden days. We’ve figured it out. There are likely as many therapists coming into the game now days that there are teachers, which means that we must be dealing with a boat load of crazy. I was contacted for a couple of kids when they were 2 and when they were 3 because they weren’t up to some standard socially. I knew then they were fine, and indeed a number of years later they are fine, at the top of the class etc. bh,… Read more »
we often say that the same way one hundred years ago adhd was not discovered, and yet, the child thrived, we should not diagnose any child with ld and then he will be successful. this is a lie. the foolish children would simply leave school and work in the fields etc. we are blessed today with the advanced medical and psychological studies so we can diagnose and treat these disorders. why are we just discarding one of the greatest gift given to mankind. namely, equal opportunity for all iq.
Hi we have a son with learning difficulities we moved to israel for him to get extra help bh after 8 years of not being in a chabad school which helped him get the knowledge he needed for life skills hes in a chabad yeshiva no its not perfect but hes definitly growing in way a chassidisha bocher should .im happy to help anyone who is considering moving to israel for chinuch of there children my email is [email protected] only nachas
This article is spot on, from past experience I can say that the writer know what she is saying,
Yes of course you need the school to work with the parents, but it’s the parents job to make sure the child is getting what he/she needs, and don’t go around blaming the schools if your child is struggling.
Depending where one lives It is not always possible for a parent to “just” change schools for their struggling child.
Why does their have to be a “them and us” attitude between teachers and parents.
Should there not be a partnership of care for the struggling child?
This was one of my father’s, A”H, favorites. I don’t mean to downplay the real problem of LD, especially that it’s nogeah to me! But, with patience, diligence, discipline, and PRACTICE, someone “slow” can become a great success. Let’s say you have two people, one a genius and the other the opposite. Now, the genius may pick-up simple arithmetic after one or two lessons. The other one may need 10 to 20 sessions. However, both people succeed in learning that two plus two equals four. Now, let’s say you don’t know who is the genius or otherwise, but both will… Read more »
Rivky worked with my child and did wonders! She knows what she is doing. Highly recommended!
Wow, great, timely article, really, we don’t do therapy enough.
Me: Does this look like a nail?
Hammer: That is most certainly a nail.
Me: But it’s round?
Hammer: Yes, it’s a round nail.
Me: But nails aren’t round?
Hammer: this one is.
Me: …
Hammer: ….
Me: …
Me: …
Me: Well Ok then.
Great artical, about time someone tells the parents how it should be!!!