By COLlive reporter
A well traveled Chabad lecturer and teacher has raised concern that the issue of child abuse in the frum community is more common than many people tend to perceive it.
“Sadly, many people, including some in leadership positions, are ill-informed of the detrimental effects of child molestation,” said Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Jacobson, Dean of the study website TheYeshiva.net.
“Many people are equally ill-informed of how rampant the problem is, and of the great number of our youth that have been victimized over the years,” he writes and thanked those active in helping victims and exposing predators.
“(We) must do anything and everything to stop the people who are murdering the psyches and emotional innocence of our children,” he said in a letter to the Jewish Community Watch organization.
Rabbi Jacobson suggested that “every single one of our young adults” should be educated about the following two factors which he called critical.
“1) If they have been molested, help is available. They must know that if they will break the silence and reveal their story, they will be embraced rather than shunned, and will be guided with loving care towards a life of wholesomeness and happiness. We must give all of them the names and contact information of approved professionals, so they can reach out to them if necessary.
“2) Preventive medicine: If they might ever be prone to engage in these terrible acts themselves, they must know: A) the horrific impact of such actions, and B) that there are things they can do to help them avoid becoming potential monsters who will surely destroy lives. They must all know that help is readily available for people with an inclination toward touching children inappropriately.”
He said parents and educators must discuss these dangers with their children and students—both the danger of becoming a victim, as well as the danger of becoming an abuser.
Reiterating what members of the Crown Heights Bais Din have already ruled, he said that to withhold information about a predator “is essentially akin to being an accomplice and an enabler of the unthinkable crime of destroying lives in this vicious cycle.”
“Most victims are too afraid or ashamed to speak up—and surely it is not their fault. They are terrified of being shunned, not believed, and of the possibility of being rejected forever,” Jacobson wrote in a letter that was provided to COLlive.com.
“That is where our community stands today. We must change that and teach all of our youngsters that they will be heard, listened to, believed, and embraced with a loving heart and open arms. They will not be judged or ridiculed. We will treat their pain with the deepest respect and empathy.
“Too much blood has been shed on the altar of silence and fear without anyone uttering even a cry. Victims have lived far too long by the code of shame and silence, always blaming themselves for the cruelty of their perpetrators. The devil of abuse has been allowed to grow strong and rampant because of our silence.”
Can you give me a detailed explanation of what would be discreet and effective? I think one of the problem that encourages csa is the extreme secretiveness both by the perps and the people who commit the act. I actually think that perhaps this exposure is taka good for the community. You abuse=we know about it.
gun control laws: just like taking guns away from law abiding citizens in the name of fighting gun violence, feels like your fighting the good fight but in reality does nothing substantively to make people safer, on the contrary, these knee-jerk, (politically correct) anti-gun laws, put law abiding citizens at greater risk, by embolden criminals who will still use their guns! PETA’s hypocracy: PETA claims to be all about compassion, yet it has single handedly caused more destruction, pain and terror to more human beings (especially to religious non liberal entities) in the name of compassion for living creatures GERMANS… Read more »
Yes these FFB kids have a real elitist attitude and definitely think they are soooo superior. But what does that have to do with the issue of abuse? Now we are talking about the teachers themselves? I looked at the website.They seem sincere and worried about protecting others.I don’t see any thuggishness or trying to smear others.They smear themselves!
Unfortunately many practices in schools that purport to be chabad are contrary to authentic chabad teachings
Be it limudei chol
Be it the wrong emphases on academics instead of Good character and Yiras shomayim
Sadly many teachers cannot transmit authentic chabad values and hashkafa bec they themselves lack it
HOW ABOUT ALL THE NASTY CHILDREN WHO BULLY IN DAY SCHOOLS, WHOSE PARENTS COME FROM FRUM FOREVER FAMILIES. I HAVE MET SOME, THEY ARE CRUEL AND WICKED, THEY BULLY AND EVEN TELL THE TEACHER WHAT TO DO, BUT WHAT IS DONE TO THESE CHILDREN. THEY ARE GLORIFIED FOR BEING SMART. BY THEIR LOUDMOUTHED MOTHERS WHO GET INTO EVERYONES BUISNESS THESE CHILDREN ARE THE PROBLEMS, THEY HAVE NO BOUNDARIES, NO MANNERS, NO RESPECT AND THEIR PARENTS ARE SO CALLED FOLLOWERS OF THE REBBE. CMON. EVERYONE IS SO SLOW UPON TAKING ACTION/ MANNERS MAKETH A MAN
its the “method”jcw is using which people are questioning and want to see repkaced with a method that has a better track record for accomplishing the ‘prevention’
Very interesting how the comments of anonymous posters or perhaps other ‘well informed’ individuals have been able to sway your opinion to the belief that those who run jcw are just bullies and thugs. But the opinion of Rabbi YY Jacobson, who has gone out of his way to investigate the site and those who run it, has no value to you? Go read the whole letter on another site. I can’t understand how a person can read Rabbi Jacobson’s words stating that he has researched this site and offers only compliments and yet choose to believe anonymous posters with… Read more »
Stop intimidating anyone who criticizes JCW’s tactics as ineffective
the issue is not whether to stop abuse! the issue is HOW!! -HOW BEST TO ACCOMPLISH THAT GOAL! …which method according to experts works most, and which methods are not as reliable! the focus must always remain on “PREVENTION” not “REVENGE”! and when these two goals clash, responsible people will choose the route of PREVENTION even if they don’t get the satisfaction of revenge or vilifying frum people may hashem open your eyes to see how its possible for many of us to voice opposition to that vigilanty site, because we care about real measures that actually work to prevent… Read more »
you wrote “When I first saw how many comments where against fighting against these abuser” i have just finished reading all 113 posts! not even one comment was -as you describe- “against fighting against these abusers” all I’ve seen was a resounding agreement that abuse MUST be stopped, bec its Korbanos are awful and numerous! you must be upset by all the voices exposing the truth about JCW and their refusal to employ tactics which do less harm and do more to prevent abuse it seems like you are unable to realize hat most people in chabad, want to see… Read more »
but then it downed on me that its probably a very tiny group of people that are just trying to make an impression:
past and current abusers themselves would definitely post again and again fearing that their name will end up on the wall or those who already made it there..
like for example this castration guy who posted a big part of the comments..
Guys nothing will help you! either you get help or everyone will know who you are!!!
and meir keep up the good work!! look how these guys are so scared.
sensible and responsible!
Why only compassion for some children but not for others??
Since there are more effective ways available to combat the diaprders behind abuse
Why choose the tactic which hurts hundreds of children of all the listed (alleged) abusers??!
True, offering abusers the option of (insted of being publically destroyed) taking a pill once in three months (which silences obsessive “Lobito” thoughts-drives (yes, today there are actually safe remedies, that effectively and completely remove a person’s urge for “Taavos”…) This option has been studied and FDA approved as effective! Deapite protest from the ACLU etc that it’s too effective and it’s too cruel to force someone to not have a S drive, that’s why it’s not imposed and must be voluntarily undertaken by a pedophile. FYI I challenge JCW to find even a single case of recidivism under the… Read more »
go seek help, that’s all i can say about you. no ones condons them but in the same token you don’t help anyone with your HATE. you must hate yourself very much, others wise you would not show so much hatered
If only u knew what ur talking about
#105 what does you comment have to do with #10?? And what the heck do you mean by saying “you don’t feel bad for the abusers at all????
If u just read comment after comment it is so apparent that the perp is the one people are rallying around.of course if a name comes up on a site his/her whole family suffers too BUT did the perp give two hoots what he was doing to his victim and ultimately to his own family???So the victims have to continue to suffer and the potential victims have to suffer (for life!!)because all of you are worried about the “sick”person and his family????C.H. has gt to be one of the worst places/community to ever live in because it obviously breeds this… Read more »
I do not feel bad for the abusers at all, the fact that they have gotten away with this for so long is despicable-The fact that their families suffer from humiliation is not the the fault of the victim but the abuser who was willing to put his sick perverted pleasures over family, G-d and future generations.
I support JCW and the endorsment of Rabbi YYJ.
abuse just like murder and any other horrific thing is unfortunately not something new to the world. Its just that we as a jewish community as a whole finally began to realize that this is a widespread issue in our community. This seriously leaves me wondering what should we do?! We get guidance in every aspect of our lives from the teachings of the Rebbe, his letters, stories etc. What does the Rebbe say on such a matter of molestation, what were his views on the subject or how to deal with the victim and the abuser? I really want… Read more »
Those who support the demonization of all (suspected) molesters regardless of whether or not an expert rendered him to (still) be a threat today, This is classic knee jerk, reaction, you wanna feel your doing something substantial to help the problem, The reality is that there are far more effective routes out there available if one is sincerely about preventing more abuse Unfortunately, that site has little interest in doing what really works best, and is more about unresolved agendas, to vilify and tarnish an entire community they don’t really care about. If they DID care about the community, they… Read more »
Good questions were asked , why are not answered??
Liberal, sound bite, knee jerk, emotional, sensational, response
Vs
Conservative, subtle, thaught out, research and facts based, rational, non sensational response
The pattern here is quite consistent
The rebbeliouse anarchist claiming to be “progressive” and more enlightened
Vs
Adherance and respect for Traditional fundamental values,
Like the Gun controll debate, the knee jerk emotional response feels good but lacks any substantive solution
How many times did you post? 20? 30? I can’t be troubled to count while I’m on my phone. Maybe when I’m on my computer I’ll entertain myself by counting up. I love how you think these monsters are going to submit to chemical castration. They’re all going to line right up! Also, it’s amusing that you think jcw should get out of the way for the professionals who are just fighting their way to the front door, begging for the opportunity to take over the fight for victims’ rights. In fact, they had JUST been about to stand up… Read more »
I’m very disturbed to learn that the site is being run by unqualified bullies with no built in accountability!
We need such a site to responsibly warn of real threats! Who are professionally deemed to still be a danger
Theres someone who got these kids to start this site who now seems to realize that perhaps he should have consulted experts in abuse prevention, re his opinion whether such kids are the most responsible and effective way to run the cause of prevention. i highly doubt that any trained therapist would support such a cause to be directed and operated by untrained resentful youth who are very bitter and unhealed themselves, a site for frum people should not be run by youth who are so bitter about life that they rebel at all of yiddishkeit, all of frum people,… Read more »
the issue is HOW!!
which way is proven to work well
and which way is proven less effective at prevention
the focus must always remain on PREVENTION to the maximum possible
and to resist the temptation to let agendas pervert the mission and undermine the original mission
The website JCW in my opinion is breaking apart our community. They could post anything they want. It is run by a 23 non religious boy. Even more sad is that our community supported the website for at least a year, until people began realizing it’s source. Why would anyone want to give their lives up to serve our community if they could be posted at any given time on a website that was supported by so many? Why in the world would anyone give all their Kochos to run a special Education Yeshiva (which could run 30k per kid… Read more »
So many things that go on in the frum community are “pushed under the rug”.
We live very different then the Non Jews that surround us.
Many things we do are not accepted.
That is why we tend to avoid going to Non Jewish authorities and courts.
Today JCW goes after so called “abusers”. Tomorrow some other idiot could put up a website and post all Frum “medicaid abusers”. The DA will give them a gold metal and begin arresting Frum Yidden.
However, after much scrutiny I have learned that these investigations are thorough and honest. I have also learned that in cases where a past abuser is ready to be fully accountable and to do what it takes to help the victim through the healing-process (and, obviously, with experts testifying that he/she no longer poses a danger to the public), the abuser’s identity is not exposed. Additionally, I am also aware of dozens of cases presented to Jewish Community Watch that are not brought to light due to a lack of sufficient evidence
I understand that alot of you cannot tolerate guys who are “wild”, however sometimes it takes someone like that to step out and do something important. This is a first time ever, that we are able to fight this insidious abuse. Did you or I get that opportunity to save lives by reinforcing the fact that a website exposes and supports this issue? Criticize all you want, but you and I didnt have the strength to start it. I bet that most parents are ok about this, and those who don’t have kids don’t understand. You cannot understand what it… Read more »
what you write makes allot of sense!
1) theres no proof that it failed even 1%
2) all studies show that it (treaing the brain chemistry) is far more effective and preventive than any other tactic. (bec these people are compulsive in their brain, so consequences are not very deterring)
3) you say its one guy re-posting the info many times… so what?? is it accurate or not, thats he question, is there a more effective proven strategy or not?
4) most people who support the website are well meaning, popularity ven if true, doesn’t make a wrong approach right
Sorry to say, this time you went a step beyond your expertise. when you start writing and indorsing things that can hurt people without your knowing it, you are going into an area which is beyond what heeling you can do, it does not heal the hurt but does hurt the innocent people who are being hurt because those who are running that uncontrolled filth site just want to take revenge of their enemies. I am sorry to see that you fell in to the trap of the Yetzer horah. As you write that those that molest children are unnoticed… Read more »
He wants to make it sound as if there is a large amount of people that are against that website..
I chalange evreyone to have a chat with anyone they know and you will see that thae vast majority of people think that that website is needed!
the question is HOW?
there are far more effective ways than what some claiming to care are doing
i cannot support a group who has sellective compassion, only the phisical victims, but no compassion for the secondary victims such as spouses and family members of accused abusers
especially since there are discreet otptions that have 100% success rate of effectiveness
also a preemptive campaign to would-be predators would also solve most of the problems well before it has claimed serious victims
The 23 year old boy who operates the website made himself public when he received a gold metal from the Brooklyn DA.
HIS MAIN POINT WAS TO CALL ATTENTION TO THE FACT THAT MANY ABUSERS AD RABBI’S IN LEADERSHIP POSITIONS WERE MOSTLY UNAWARE OF HOW DAMAGING SUCH ABUSE CAN BE
I support rabbi Jacobson, don’t support community watch, I heard a bit of how they operate…
Which Rabonim oversee this website?
Does Rabbi Jacobson now take the place of our Crown Heights Beis Din?
Why can’t the people acting “for the people” actually go public and tell us – the people- who exactly they are?
Did Rabbi Jacobson check the accuracy of every person on the wall of shame before he wrote his statement?
How will we find out the criteria for proof that this self proclaimed group uses?
If someone wants to cause harm to others can they simply report names??
So, Jakie has been out of the news a while but still has to pay his bills. He stirs some controversy to get his name back out there. He is a very silly man if he thinks endorsing that horrid website is going to do anything to help victims or to stop perpetrators.
It is well known that victims of abuse become abusers themselves and may not even be aware of their own maliciousness. As Rabbi Jacobson writes in his letter: “Many of them fall prey to terrible addictions in order to escape their agony. Untold numbers of these innocent souls are haunted by unbearable nightmares that won’t allow them to lead a normal life internally. Most of them struggle to maintain functional marriages, since their boundaries have been brutally violated.” Unfortunately, the founders of this website were severe victims of abuse and are still coping with the scars of their youth. They… Read more »
One morning, right after getting my kids off to school a few months ago my door bell rang. I asked who was there and it was a lubavitcher Name, I opened the door to a normal looking lubavitcher. He said a strange story that he was concerned b/c his back up camera in his car was picking up a feed from my security camera, he kept asking me if y husband was home putting on a pink coat on a child. I said no, he asked a bunch of times he was making me nervous and I finally shut the… Read more »
these people who run these sites are not our own, they dont care abut the victim they are using the abuse to take down the frum world……
Number 69 (and many other comments) said something sensible. In the past when the issue of CSA came up by Rabbi Manis Friedman, he was vilified for taking a stand and giving the victim the power to overcome his troubles. The ones that were vilifying Rabbi Friedman were predominantly connected to the web site of JCW and were afraid of becoming sidelined. Rabbi YYJ needs to apologize for granting unqualified endorsement to a web site which is run by people who do not fit to be leaders of Chabad. They may be nice people and good people but they are… Read more »
Its probably against Halacha to take a (chemical castration) pill or a shot every three months
But maybe bec of DIN Rodef the Rabbonim will allow a heter
it is so imperative our leaders speak out about this, which unfortunately has not been done and the topic of child molestation has been minimized or shunned completely. Shkoach for your insight and dignity
since you seem to know what to be done, why dont you step forward and offer to take over the site from the “vengeful” kids to a more responsible approach…
we can all also agree that, its foolish to wait until a molester has molested, since in every society these a certain percentage of “pedophiles” who are wired that way (they’re sick in their head), it only makes sense to un-stigmatize the topic and have all post pubescent teens introduced to the seriousness of the damage and that its perfectly ok to seek treatment from a professional, if you happen to have such instincts to all those professing to care about preventing abuse, why are you soo eager to demonize the perp, instead of focusing on prevention?? prevention is the… Read more »
Sensible, Humane and Vigilant in preventing more abuse!
thank you collive for allowing all points of view to be heard and presented
I love how every person who criticizes JCW starts off by saying “CSA is a terrible thing and it must be stopped, however…..” You fools, don’t you see, the only reason there is a JCW is because you ignorant fools do nothing to stop CSA. You make excuses for every person accused. You claim I know for a fact that someone posted is completely innocent. CSA happens in all communities, and yes even in Lubavitch community. So wake up, and instead of accusing the one guy who is actually trying to do something about it, do something to protect our… Read more »
That was harsh, but true.
Who should people turn to? Give names of therapists, mashpiim, etc who one can talk to confidentially and that will not stigmatize them. These kids need help. Parents and mechanchim have to be given good names to contact if needed. Often people don’t seek help because they don’t know who to turn to or whom to trust.
lets focus on common ground we can all agree on these points (i hope) 1. molesters are very-sick in the head 2. molesters and potential molesters need to be educated as to how detrimental abuse can be on a victims life 3.all molesters begin with the urge before the action 4. molesters need to be guided to seek help before they ever strike even once 5. family members of abusers suffer probably more than the molested 6. the primary goal should be to PREVENT abuse, not AVENGE abusers 7. never get soo preoccupied in NEKAMA that you overlook the REAL… Read more »
What you say “should ” be the way things should be… unfortunately the reality is that when someone will make a claim and it is known others will back away and keep their children away as well as step away emotionally from these people who desperately need kindness and decent human contact. Reality is a cold,and sad place. While many may sympathize and feel bad inside they will not be willing to get involved and champion victims. While others will only be interested in spreading information false and true around and doing further damage to victims. Others won’t want to… Read more »
Please JCW take down your site. Give these people what they want. They clearly care more about the abusers then the abused. Yes, I know they say they care, but when you read their comments you can see that all they want to do is place blame everywhere except were the problem truly is. You can clearly see that their leadership has done nothing to protect their children. And when one brave rabbi steps up and says enough is enough, they criticize and ridicule him. So I say again, please JCW take down your site and give these people back… Read more »
Statistics show that most children who were s— abused DO NOT become abusers. However, most abusers have been abused as children. Please have this in mind when addressing this issue. Adults who have been abused as children should not have to carry the extra burden of worry that they will become abusers as well.
“(We) must do ‘anything and everything’ to stop the people who are murdering the psyches and emotional innocence of our children”
Before we all become moserim – ask a shaila in each case.
Of Course the wholy rabbi ment “b’rishus hatorah” and in accordance with halocha – So why not SAY SO!
Before snitching or saying the worst loshon hara or rechelus that will destroy lives and cause large chilul hashem- shouldn’t we ask a competent rove? ie don’t make a bad situation worse.
why do the abused become abusers sometimes?What causes this? Does counseling really help prevent this? Can perpetrators do teshuva and stop their actions and if so what helps them? how can abuse be effectively prevented?
even if the way jcw goes about preventing abuse is reactive and not as effective as other options
the silver lining in all the work of jcw is…
it says in sifrei mussar, that in the first stage of bias moshiach, hashem will make it so that one persons averos can be visible to all, and the bushos will be greater than in any previous tekufa
good intentions is not enough,
Moshe Feiglin deserves credit for getting jcw up and running, now he needs to encourage these kids to do the right thing and allow seasoned experts specializing in abuse prevention to offer more effective options, proven to stop abuse at its root, (in the brain chemistry)
you ask “WHY DON’T ALL THE RABBONIM AND MASHPIAM GET TOGETHER AND SIGN SOME FANCY LETTER DENOUNCING ABUSE?”
signing a letter does against stealing, rape or any other crime does nothing to deal with the root of the problem
the root of the problem is this:
there is a massive stigma and vilification campaign surrounding such mental sicknesses, by casting this disease of pedophilia as EVIL MONSTERS and not as a disorder requiring professional treatment, you keep potential abusers from coming forward to their MDs for help
I love how in so many articles and comments JCW writes and says what if it was were child who was abuse. well how about they think of it the other way, what if it was their son who abused others would they run to post their names on these sites? or whould they try and get their son help? what if their son brother or father was abused years before and had a problem that was never dealt with and was abusing others would they ruin his life forever or try and help him so he can lead a… Read more »
JCW has been approached by to offer this (proven) option to pedophiles as a cooperative measure
Their response was these are monsters who deserve to suffer publicly, even if their family suffers too, that’s life!
Their heartless inhumane attetude reveals much about his motives
if it were about really helping the problem and prevent needless suffering, he would step aside and allow more effective options that actually work better and cause less collateral damage to other secondary victims (namely family members of abuser)
I davka disagree with them being a rebellious and vengeful organizers of a site. They are a desperate attempt to do something,anything,to warn the community of perpetrators to prevent abuse. I know specifically that their has been a mashpia, rov, and principle approached and told of these events in specific details and they DID NOT GET INVOVLED.NO ONE OTHER THEN JCW THAT I KNOW OF HAS GOT TOGETHER TO FIND AN ALTERNATIVE SOLUTION THAT U ALL SPEAK OF. WHY DON’T ALL THE RABBONIM AND MASHPIAM GET TOGETHER AND SIGN SOME FANCY LETTER LIKE THEY DID WITH GETTING MARRIED YOUNG, DENOUNCING… Read more »
How do you know the perpetrators are agreeable to these more effective tactics? What our there not?
By treating the abuse as Evil rather than a (mental) Sickness This keeps those with the sickness stigmatized and keepa them less from revealing their condition to a MD Thanks to JCW, and the way this disorder is portreyed by JCW JCW has succeeded in destroying the lives of many Mentally Sick people and their family’s, bec of JCW’s refusal to deal with the problem in a proven more effective way! If your goal is to do the most to prevent abuse, why would you use a tactic which is less effective?? And which causes more unnecessary pain to the… Read more »
1. Start having professionals educate our kids in schools of the dangers and what to do if they’re approached; whether by a family friend, neighbor, or even their teacher.
2. When abuse happens, the police should be contacted. We can leave out all organizations that may or may not have the best interests in mind and just go to the cops.
1) The extent of this problem is always much worse than suspected, not the other way around, 2) “Not being arrested” does not prove an abuser’s innocence. Because of the nature of these crimes, it is often difficult to get witnesses who will testify, there is a statute of limitations, lawyers get involved, etc. I know firsthand about this – my ex abused all of my kids – boys and girls – and has never been arrested. 3) The “sting” in which the shaliach admitted his crime is a credible way to prove guilt – and if you think “10… Read more »
I would strongly suggest to cameras all over, especially in the schools, in every room, every corner especially in the restrooms. And then to punish them in front of all the people, so the others will have fear and wont dare to hurt innocent little people.We must take action and avoid those horrible deeds.Me must act. Must!
I honestly want to know how u know that not every person listed on jcw is not quilty now or before. In his full letter endorsing jcw rabbi j mentioned that he was concerned that it would turn to which hunting and that he shutters to think of an innocent person being accused but unfortunately he has found out that there is research done and that if the offender offers ti help the victim hes not listed. Addionaly there are ppl out there that are not listed becau se of lack of such proof. Everyone should read the full letter.
you are playing with peoples lives here. Dear Public – read the comments of those who understand the mistakes and danger of this website-comments such as 20, 27, 31, 33, 42 etc. Rabbi Jacobson i am soooo disappointed that your research was incomplete. this is not the solution to the REAL problem. this is creating more very unnecessary additional problems and pain!
You ask for proof, what kind of proof do u think will get in this case unless it has been videoed taped, which it hasen’t. And what proof do u have that he did it only in the past. You know what forget jcw. Just take a deeper look around u look to see the real truth. The truth took me by surprise. Csa is something that is deeply hidden especially in our society, therefore there is room for much denial and no one wants to believe that so and so is actually a predator so denial is an understandable… Read more »
I don’t work for jcw and neither have I been involved with them. rabbi jacobson as have a wide range of involvement with the ccommunity just endorsed it. Go ask him if hes objective and can be A judge
True chemical castration works better than hurting their entire family in public
But will Daas Torah permit taking pills or injections every month just to shut down a person’s perverse S drive?
If Rabbonim allow that for abusers, then soon they’ll allow it for pedophiles who haven’t yet abused, then they’ll require it for any bachur who may be inclined to sweet talk a girl into engaging in behavior which they’ll certainly regret and forever feel abused and used…
everyone feels the way you do,You are not saying anything new.
the argument here is that nott every person on the wall of shame is an abuser today or maybe even never was, but it is too late now, their families are ruined. It is a grat way to get back at someone you don’t like because their name gets posted without proof.
I am glad to see that you changed your mind
It is time for more rabbis like you to address the seriousness of this issue
Jcw needs to be revamped and run by unbitter experts specializing in the area of abuse
Feel bad for all parties involved
The Abuser
The Abused
The immediate family of the abuser
To vilify the abuser, does little to Change the mental illness in their brain
Chemical castration is far more effective and something family members of an abuser can be glad to cooperate on the enforcement verification thereof, Id think
A discreet program of “verified chemical hormonal castration״ is far more proven to be effective
Also
Not to stigmatize the mental-disease as Evil
Creating a huge stigma of evil & monster
May make people hesitant to share their abnormal urges with a proffessional MD etc
The people behind the site which you have publicly endorsed do not seek to help the abused, but to take revenge on abusers, and that is not what we call “justice” here in the USA. Initially I thought that they were doing the community good and protecting our children, until the recent story about the Shliach that had been set up in a sting operation for something that he did over a decade ago when he was but a teenager. (And they have not provided a shred of evidence that he has done something of this nature ever since.) Interestingly,… Read more »
To really prevent victims of abuse
The focus must be on educating would-be abusers to get help when they’re just pubecant,
It’s wrong to wait til they acted on their urges
i don’t see anywhere in the article where YYJ endorses any group
A discreet program of “chemical hormone castration” enforcement
Proven allot more effective and does less colateral damage to all the relatives of the ill-man
There you go. You are clearly angry – and rightfully so – you therefor have decided to take the manner in to your own hands.
So now let me ask you, does this make you an expert? Are your decision objective? Or ae they influenced by personal feelings.
Can you be a real judge?
Please answer.
Thank you!
I feel bad for the abusers, but worse for the kids they abuse
You call them, angry, vengeful, pathetic ect ect. Let me ask you 1 simple question has anyone but anyone in this community taken any public steps (especially leaders and mashpim )inorder to make parents and community aware who predetors are so that we can be careful?
Really? and what is this better approach you talk of?
Very well said!
Thank you!
What you wrote is true. BUT you messed up big time by endorsing a pathetic angry rebellious site.
If your intentions are pure then why did you mix politics with it?
You could have just wrote the article with out endorsiment
sometimes the most compassionate thing is to step out of the way and allow a certified expert who’s objective and not bitter who’se compassionate across the board including to all the victims {souses children etc) of the abuser to be willing to hurt all the close relatives of the abuser in the name of compassion is ABUSIVE especially if there are more efective options available to prevent abuse namely, A) educating potential abusers when their only 14 years of age. B) a program of chemical castration, discreet enforced and verified to refuse to do what works best is to be… Read more »
JCW has been approached to offer prevetive measures which are proven to be allot more effective in preventing abuse
n a discreet non vidictive way
instead of proving that they were genuinely seeking to prevent abuse, they proved that they are all about shaming and exposing even though that approach is proven not to be as effective at preventing abuse as “discreet enforcement program of chemical castration”
B”H everyone is an expert these days even Mashpiam and/or Chassidic lecturers and/or Rabbis
its a MENTAL ILLNESS not someones personal choice to be a pedophile
no one in their healthy right mind would wake up one day and risk it all and decide let me be a pedophile
these people need to be professionally helped, not stigmatized t the point where theyr afraid of seeking help
instead its run by kids who are resentful and have serious need to justify their secular life style
so they make a special effort to call each abuser with the title “RABBI” in order to vilify religious people!
the site should not be run by people who are soo bitter, and emotonally unrecovered
These are individuals who use very low tactics and are not respectable community members. Please DON’T mention a website which is questionable in everything they write. They destroyed lives and attempted to destroy marriages etc. based on nothing concrete. Important subject however you HAVE to know what you are writing and who you are accusing. SHAME on that website and the people behind it. “Kol Haposel Bmumo posel” may very well apply to JCW staff.
the reason JCW is against “verified chemical castration” is bec its run by victims who are bitter and angry, its not run by objective professionals
destigmatization is key to get would-be abusers to go get the help they need before their perverse temptations take over their better judgement
the schools must systematically educate all young teens how to deal with such feelings and how serious acting-out on them can be
the fact that JCW has dismissed more effective options
which are clinically proven to prevent recidivism
speaks volumes about their true motives,
if they were about protecting future victims, they would embrace and advocate for an option of “verified chemical castration” instead of the route which smears, maligns and stigmatses an entire family
all those who really care to stop the vicious cycle of victim becoming an abuser,
you need to reach out to those with these feelings well before they act on it
and he is abselutely correct
that allot of the abuse will be prevented via a more informed young generation, especially those in the young generation who have (the good fortune of being tempted by) bad thoughts of abuseive tendencies
when would be, abusers get help (without stigma) this will help prevent allot more victims then waiting for them to victimize
Private chemical castration is effective in neutralizing anyone’s hormoans! Without bringing a life of endless pain to dozens of relatives of the abuser,
We must remember the real goal, it is not to punish the family of an abuser, it’s to stop would be abusers way before they do harm
The more outreach I done to educate potential abusers to get help right away
The less chances they will remain ignorant and a risk to society
JCW has a history of inaccurate reporting and guilty-until-proven innocent behavior. I know he means well (both YJ and JCW), but what’s written there needs to be taken with a grain of salt…
With the right therapist, anyone can benefit from therapy. Schools should consider REQUIRING every student to go through basic counseling/therapy. Perhaps issues of molestation, drugs, depression, eating disorders etc. will be nipped in the bud. Yes that might sound extreme but just as it is standard procedure to have a physical each year a ‘mental check’ can be just as beneficial!
It is high time that our educational system both the boys and girls schools provide professionals to speak to the students
about molestation. There must be counselors available that they will feel comfortable going to discuss these issues. Of
course the big problem is who is going to pay for this
Make wannabe abusers aware of the possible pain they can cause
Systematically teach all bar mitzva aged boys and girls o the damage seducing or being seduced can cause in the long run
A life full of regrets and shame
Many abusers are themselves not much older than the kid they ruin!!
We need to reach out to victims and potential abusers who were not yet abusers to get help
To just focus and beating up those who already abused, fails to prevent a large percentage of future victims
You need a 3 pronged approach
1 educate, prevent potential abusers who were never victims
2 educate, prevent potential abusers who were victims themselves
3 verified chemical castration of proven abusers, so that they family is not made to suffer for the sins/issues of their relative
2
Is YY ready to stand behind everything CHCW posts on their site??
If he is not how can he endorse them when they are not achroy to any authority?!
Sounds like a big hefkayrus to me that YY is supporting
please tell me if i am wrong
What a big and important Mitzvah!
Sorry Rabbi, The alarm has been ringing for several years. Jist the rabbonim didn’t want to know or care. After the weberman case, melbourne and sydney, london, and elsewere,they care now alright. There will be a Tsunami of children who may now now adults coming forward to expose the perverts residing amongst us.
Whars wrong with just attacking & vilifying pedophiles is
That it keeps the stigma on
And people who have not yet abused need to be educated to understand the danger and damage they can cause
By more education and less vilification You’ll prevent allot more abuse by getting the potential abuser into treaemt well before he or she creates another victim! And potentially another vicious cycle
Rabbi Jacobson is a very respectable person and not just because he is an incredible teacher and speaker but because first and foremost, he is a MENTCH. Thank you for opening our eyes and for taking responsibility of the physical and spiritual well-being of the community.
I don’t think there is an individual out there that has any problem perceiving abuse in the frum community unless one has just arrived from planet mars. If any legacy has been left by the deranged monster Levi Aaron it is this; No child should trust any anyone no matter how learned he is, how long is his beard, how big is his yarmulkah, how long is his peyois, how long is his kapote,how long his tzitsis hangs, whether that person, is a family member, mechanech,askan,friend,litvish, chassidish, with or without yichus. It is simply disengenous and frankly insulting to everyones… Read more »
For my part, I want nothing to do with a community that demonizes child victims. There’s something seriously wrong with people who worry about reputation and shidduchim more than what could happen or is happening to their own child or grandchild. I wouldn’t ever raise my kids in CH… If you want to stick around, good for you. Just make sure your kids are protected, that they know what the difference is between OK and not OK touching, and that they know to come to you if they aren’t sure.
In every religious community, victims have been dubbed the enemy by those with power and authority! Rest assured, G-d will deliver victims by His mighty hand just as He delivered the children of Israel from Pharaoh! Decide now to stop bickering over who is right/wrong and fix the problem or the plagues will begin! There is already a massive drought on the horizon of America!
Although many perps have themselves been abused as children, many other perps are perversely attracted genericlly and need to know the damag their able to cause to anither by seeking to act on their frustrated cravings…
Studies show that perps live in a delusaional reality which is in denial that their actions cause harm to their victim
Education an early preemptive counseling is the way to go to really prevent the next generation of pedophiles from becoming abusers
I am sure you are aware that Rabbi Jacobson included this in a letter of endorsement for the Jewish Community Watch. Why would you leave that out……It is very important to let your readership see the entire letter and its context. Please post the letter in its entirety. Political correctness is ridiculous.
Gettting potential abusers into counseling before they ever abuse is very wise! Young pubescent adolescents need to be destigmatised from seeking help if they are inclined to be mefate, minors from the same gender or the opposite, the (life altering) damage is the same Once a young boy or girl feels defiled, even if their schmoozer was a foolish teen themselves People need to be taught the harm they cause their target by getting them to loose their innocents The psychological scarring haunts them with a life long plague of regrets and self loathing Often leading to many foolish decisions… Read more »
Cudos to YYJ for being the first voice to INTELIGENTLY seek to minimize the damage by this “vicious cycle” of victims becoming abusers.
Till today the focus has only been Reactive
Finally, someone is calling attention to the need for “would-be” perpetrators, to understand the potential damage & to seek help well before they act out their perverse nature/urges
We all must wake up and relize the potential danger around our kids thanks
Before you endorse this group you should look at who they are and how they operate. Threats, extortion, and caving in to pressure because they are basically bullies and cowards make what they do very worrisome. Any decent human being cares about this problem. Anyone who disagrees with their methods is called a molester. There’s something seriously amiss here. Something has to be done, yes, no one disagrees but these people shouldn’t be doing it until they explain the criteria they use to post people on their Wall of Shame. Ask the innocent people who were never charged with any… Read more »
It is important for kids to be brought up to know the difference between respect and trust. One should treat every person respectfully, but no one is deemed trustworthy until proven. Kabalas Ol (obedience) has to be balanced with sechel (intellect), and sechel has to be balanced with kabalas ol. Parents have to be aware of children’s feelings, and children should feel safe to speak to their parents and know that they will be taken seriously.