By Yosef & Sarah Shidler – Lakewood, NJ
Here is what I am thinking about this Tisha B’av.
It was two and a half years ago when philanthropist Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz addressed a dinner in Lakewood and gave a speech that no one was expecting. “L’tzaareynu harav, we have a machala in Lakewood,” said Rechnitz.
“No other out of town community would ever allow a child to be left without a school. In LA, if a child wouldn’t have a school, the first day the whole community would be all over it. The same thing would happen in Baltimore, Chicago, Toronto or anywhere else. This is basically a Lakewood machala. Yes, there a few kids in Monsey, more than a few kids in Brooklyn, but nowhere else and at no other time in history was this problem close to the magnitude it is in Lakewood.”
Rechnitz ultimately retracted his words and the firestorm that shook Lakewood to its core slowly settled down with everyone saying that, Baruch Hashem, the situation had changed.
Just four months later, my wife and I moved with our two daughters, then ages three and one, to Lakewood. Priced out of the housing market in Crown Heights, we did our homework before making the move, choosing Lakewood because of the affordable housing and the many amenities that it offered, moving our well known, New York-based CJ Studios photography business with us.
While it was true that the Lubavitch presence in Lakewood was not overly large, we found our place in a community and a shul where we felt at home, and we settled into a more relaxed pace, confident that we had made the decision that was best for our family.
Allow me to tell you a little about my family. I am from Denver while my wife hails from Miami. We are your average frum family. We are makpid on pas yisroel, cholov yisroel and I take both my davening and my learning seriously. It never once occurred to us that finding a school for our kids could prove to be a challenge.
We couldn’t have been more wrong.
We were somewhat discouraged when we first began looking for a school for our older daughter, hoping to find an appropriate place where she could learn and grow. We had been warned in advance that elementary school placements could be difficult, so we started looking for a four-year-old preschool program in order to get a foot in the door at an early age so that we wouldn’t have a problem down the road. Unfortunately, we struck out everywhere we went, told time and time again that the schools were full, so with no other option we put her into playgroup for four year olds and took comfort in the words of consolation from our friends who told us that we would get her in the following year. “Don’t worry about it,” they told us. “The 4 year old preschools can be harder to get into than the older grades.” “They only take families with kids already in the school.” “Just do to a playgroup this year and things will fall into place next year.”
We hit the ground running when the next school year started but by December we were already discouraged because no matter how many applications and deposits we sent out, the rejections kept on coming. We kept hearing the same words: “our school is filled to capacity” and “our classes are bursting at the seams.” Some schools wouldn’t even take our application because they literally had no room and a few that supposedly still had room they treated us very poorly, though I will spare you the details to avoid embarrassing them.
We thought our worries were over when we were finally accepted at a school in February, after a very nice hour-long sit down meeting with the menaheles, but they retracted their acceptance a week later, telling us our daughter wouldn’t be “a good fit because she was too well mannered for the kids in their school” and assuring us that they would help us find another school. As far as I know, they never lifted a finger to help us and we never heard from them again.
Believe it or not, we had even tried to start a school of our own, hoping that we could be part of the solution to Lakewood’s school crunch. We met with a few local families and others but couldn’t get the necessary commitments and since we were already busy with our full-time business that often has serious time demands, we knew we couldn’t take this on on our own. It was clear to us that we had to stick to existing schools and daven for siyata dishmaya.
An ad placed around town by the Lakewood Vaad in February offering to help parents whose kids still didn’t have a school was another dead end; while they seemed well meaning and said all the right things, that was as far as their efforts went. Our hopes were dashed again in June when we had an extremely positive interview at yet another school but then didn’t hear back from them for weeks. When I finally reached them, they told us they had been ready to accept our daughter until something came up, refusing to tell me what the issue was.
The mystery was solved a few days later when a rov I know called to tell me that the school was unhappy with my business’s Instagram page that featured pictures of brides, and after being told that I was a wedding photographer, they reluctantly agreed that I might be frum enough to send my kids to their school. They said they would call us back for another meeting in a few days but that was weeks ago and I am still waiting for that call to come through. Ironically, this particular principal had told us that she was from California and didn’t have the stereotypical “Lakewood” mindset, but her actions clearly proved otherwise.
For the life of me, I can’t figure out how is it possible that a wedding photographer can’t post his work on Instagram, even though apparently it’s ok for a frum man to run a lingerie store in the middle of Boro Park. Can someone please explain that to me? I run an honest business together with my wife, we provide people with treasured photographs of the most important day in their lives. Have we come to the point where we need to have wedding pictures without kallahs in them? Or is someone out there suggesting that if I take pictures at a more modern wedding then clearly my daughters will never be good frum girls?
Meanwhile, yet another promising lead at a small school evaporated just days after our registration was sent in. We got the following email from the school in late June that read “Thank you for your interest in our school. Unfortunately, the school will not be continuing in September, so please pursue whatever other options you have for your daughter.” Other options? We had no other options. And worse yet, dozens of parents now found themselves on board the same sinking ship that we were on.
Our only option left so far is to put our daughter in a van with local Chabad Shluchim and have her driven 70 minutes each way to a Chabad school located in New Brunswick, NJ. I simply cannot come to terms with the fact that we live in an “Ir HaTorah” with dozens of schools and yet not a single one will take our child.
And it isn’t just my family and my daughter – I have spoken to numerous people who have the same problem, and while some are finding themselves suddenly facing the possibility of homeschooling, quite a few of them are seriously contemplating enrolling their kids in public school simply because they have no other option. Is that what things have come to? Beautiful, yiddishe families putting their kids in public school because the existing yeshivos simply have no space?
As the product of Lubavitcher yeshivos, I was raised on stories of the Frierdiker Rebbe who risked his own life to send melamdim out to teach in underground Russian yeshivos in the 1920s and 1930s. They defied the authorities daily, despite the possible consequences because they knew that they had to keep yiddishkeit alive by educating the next generation and every time a melamed was captured, there were others ready to take his place, placing themselves in jeopardy to keep the flame of Torah burning bright. Yet here we are in America, the land of the free, living in Lakewood where there are over 60 elementary schools, where no one has to risk their life to teach, where countless teachers can’t even find jobs and we still have children near the end of July who don’t have a school to go to in September.
We all need to wake up and realize that Lakewood’s growth is unsustainable. We can’t keep building and building and building and growing a community without proper infrastructure in place. Yes, we have kosher supermarkets, and pizza shops and shuls and mikvaos and clothing stores selling the finest in designer clothes for kids of all ages, including babies. Is that where our priorities lie? In making sure our babies are dressed in Burberry? But what good is any of that if we aren’t able to provide our precious children with appropriate chinuch? Rumor has it that both Bingo and Pomegranate are opening up locations in Lakewood. I hate to be the one to burst anyone’s bubble but we don’t need another place to buy overpriced dips, $200 roasts or two gallon jugs of mayonnaise. What we need is more schools!!
Our community leaders need to step up and take responsibility for this problem. We as citizens need to take responsibility for this problem. Much as we would never feed our sons or our daughters tarfus, we cannot allow them to be raised with an education that is devoid of Torah values simply because our current yeshivos cannot handle Lakewood’s blooming population.
Baruch Hashem, every Jewish child and every yiddishe family is a bracha and a cause for celebration, but the irresponsible development of Lakewood, which seems to include everything except for ample educational opportunities for our beautiful children, has created an untenable situation. Anyone who is contemplating a move to Lakewood needs to be aware of the realities – you might have all of the conveniences you want here, but as things stand right now, don’t assume that you will be educate your child anywhere in the greater Lakewood area. Not until opening more schools becomes more real then more grocery stores.
While he may have retracted his statements, Shlomo Yehuda Rechintz had it right when he said, “Who has the right, who has that G-d like complex, that feels they have the right to inflict such irreparable tzaar? If you are ready to take the achrayus, then stand up now. Amod, Amod.”
Thank you, Mr. Rechnitz. I can only hope that others heed your call.
I live in Lakewood and have 6 children in schools and high school boys and girls. It is extremely easy to bash everyone ( just as much as you make like Lakewood is bad because of a,b,c,d etc… you are also missing that bashing is just as bad. As far as the schools in Lakewood I understand your feelings but you are all missing one large point – there are to many kids then the schools can really handle the growth is nothing that has every been before in Klal Yisroel. With that being the case they do not need… Read more »
The Rebbe says that Lubavitch kids have to go to Lubavitch schools. Period.
And don’t move to a place that doesn’t have one!!!
See letter from the Rebbe in Igrot kodesh vol. 18 pg. 558 (letter # 7029)
bashing a community you live in is a certainty you won’t get your children into their schools . you sound very immature . you want their schools but you won’t take on their shitas. that makes no sense . i wanted my girls in our local Beis yaakov schools i commutes to their rules , told them that their chinuch is what i want for my girls , threw in my litvisher ‘yichus’ played by their rules , my daughters used their sidurim , was respectful of their minhogim, they loved them and us, one of our girls was awarded… Read more »
That comment sounds like Reform Rabbi who told family after two of their kids became BT they should check their Mezuzos . Learning for the sake of learning isn’t a tragedy I know this isn’t our Chinuch in Chabad but we should all experience one Seder Nigleh with 3000 people learning how lucky are those that think that the קצות נתיהותisn’t things till Shiur ד
halevay! and amen:)!
JUST A WORD TO THE WISE:
IF YOUR CHILDREN GO TO LAKEWOOD SCHOOLS THEY WILL WANT TO CONTINUE THE INDOCTRINATION OF MARRYING A BOCHUR WHO WILL LEARN IN KOLEL ALL HIS LIFE.
I am a Shliach who was 3 months ago detainded by police kicked out of Russia….after 12 years of shlichus….with the FSB claiming I am involved in terrorism. For whatever reason I decided that its time for my family to live in a frum community…and I truly want them to live close to Crown Heights…770…Ohel…family in Brooklyn area….etc…. I looked into 10 chabad communities driving distance to NY….they all seemed to have amazing people, but 1- some were simply too far for our needs… .2- the closer ones were isolated….lack of supermarkets…cafe’s….Hatzlocho….special ed schools and institutions….mayne a good Eruv?…and the… Read more »
Lakewood: we have a problem… Or….. Klal yisrael…we have a bigger problem I read this letter…and found it to be very painful…sad…and unfortunate. We have a chiyuv to show and feel “viahavta lereacha kamocha” to love our fellow jew not judge not slander just love Every person and every community is different. Everyone is raised differently …exposed to different things, has different middos and feelings, challenges, physical uniqueness and situations. In the chabad world the approach has been to embrace all Jews ..invite them for shabbos, move to a community with all types. This has added tremendously to embracing and… Read more »
Make a school, start with a small class of just your daughter’s age. It seems that there’s a great demand, and it should be successful at the end. Perhaps this is the real reason why you moved to Lakewood. To help others in your situation.
Richmond, Virginia is a great community! Move here! Great School! Great Shul! Great Yeshiva! Great Girls High School! Lots of learning and chased!
It,s a shame the article and comments are addressed as Litvshe and Chabad. The influx of Brooklyn people over the past 20 years has changed the face of our town.It has nothing to do who the family is. No one cares if they are Litvish, Chasidash, or Chabad. The life style and chinuch standards are different than Lakewood has already established. Its a shame there was a push back but the correct homework should have been done before the move was made.
I live out of c.h.and work in a litvish school . Calling the litvish/ yeshiva crowd misnagdim is really insulting to them, its l’ havdile like calling blacks / African americans negroes to the face.please fellow chabadnik show ahavos yisroel like the rebbe asked us and treat everyone like the way we want to be treated. I looked at the responses of this letter on ywn and they are so much more respectful . I think it’s time for us chabadnicks to do teshuva and realise that most litvish/ yeshivish yidden are not anti chabad anymore , and its time… Read more »
Relax buddy. I can read you a long list of litvisher yidden who learned in lubavitch yeshiva on bedford and dean when torah vodaas cost a dollar a week and lubavitch took anyone for free even. In fact my uncle, when they moved from EY after the war, was told that he couldn’t come learn in torah vodaas because he only knew yiddish and hebrew. Any litvisher who wanted to come live in CH would be welcomed into our schools without a doubt. Even Povarsky’s son from Kol Torah lives here and he’s happy. He sits with a chsam soifer… Read more »
so your saying that the little kids of this FRUM family dont deserve chinuch and there is no connection to them being chabad?!
I live in Lakewood and yes there are flaws like every place including getting kids in school. But it is crazy to heAR the comments people make about a community that no one knows a thing about!and to make completely false statements on a public forum! Blows my mind. Just because you live in Lakewood, dosent mean you are are misnegad. Noone even uses that term anymore besides chabad because they think everyone hates the . It has more to do with the level of frumkit then the fact that to you are lubavitch. Lakewood has very high standards of… Read more »
If you had any chance of getting accepted to one of these schools, that chance is certainly gone now that you have published this article. GL bro.
Most schools are set up as a non profit where the owner gets a salary in lieu of profits . That’s what I meant by profitable. It could be a decent salary if run correctly
The main consideration before a major move should be chinuch rather than how much more house you can get for your buck!
Sure it can, and the owner who is in it to trun a profit can choose who to select and who to reject. So, opening a “for profit” school doesnt help the letter writer one bit.
Yeshiva of North Jersey Bergen County accepts Libavitcher kids indiscriminately and is a good high caliber school. Have no idea as per its geographic location in relation to Lakewood.
Try Milwaukee!
Our community has room for you and cheap housing!
Get out of snag land.
I completely abhor and disagree with the comments on here that are not in the spirit of ahavas yisrael and I hope we can, as a community, catch up with you on your ahavas yisrael towards Chabad. Chassidim its time to forget the past and realise where we are. Today, the non lubavitch communities admire our accomplishments in the shlichus realm and would be much more integrated with us if only wed drop the mockery and snobbery.
new springville, staten island. nice place to live. not too far from crown heights. good schools (not chabad, but very accepting). car pool opportunity with other parents.
People, can we please remember that we are just past the 9 days, Tishea Beav only 2 days ago when our Beis Hamikdosh were destroyed and our ancestors sent into Golus. Please be respectful to someone else’s point of view even if you don’t agree with it.
As much as it is different than our own, never once have I been made to feel less than. Quite the opposite I’m encouraged to participate in the school and launch my own programs and events, where I am unable to in my own Chabad community because the shluchim are territorial and have asked us not to host frabrengs or do any type of programs even if needed. Above commenters are right about the ahavas yisroel. I grew up learning about it my whole life, but only truly saw it in action in the litvash community. I can’t even begin… Read more »
Thier is an amazing g chabad house in Tom’s River. The rav sends his kids to North Jersey for school. Reach out to him, he should be able to help.
101 – they don’t pocket the fee unless they accept you.
It’s a painful situation, yes. Do we have to make things worse than they really are?
I think it makes sense to start a Chabad school there. It can be just 10 girls in someone s legal basement.
Ok professor. When you become in charge of a school then you can voice your opinion.
I don’t agree. A school can be profitable. Our boutique schools in CH seen to be flourishing . The preschools owned by Chabad houses in metropolitan areas do quite well
To all the outraged Lakewood people commenting on here that there was no room and there is just a shortage of space. Oh really? Then why are they still accepting applications (along with a nice registration fee for each one). If they were truly full, they would say that outright. Seems very clear to me that they are discriminating against this family, only after they are seeing who they are (and pocketing the fee). Seriously, give me a break.
who moved from anywhere into lakewood. Affiliated with chabad, belz, yeshivish, litvish, sephardic or any other community you can think of. TEN YEARS ago, an honest real estate agent told us, and others we knew, do NOT close on a home until you are ASSURED a slot for ALL your children in a school. If it was worthwhile (read profitable) to open a school, more than one person would be looking to do so. It is easier and way more profitable to open a pizza or, grocery.
As the letter writer clearly referenced, Rechnitz gave a whole speech about Litvish families who weren’t getting into schools 2 yrs ago! Why does anyone think this is exclusively about Chabad?! Just to fan the flames of sinas chinam? I am truly disappointed in some of the comments on this site. The vitriol directed at litvishe Jews is very similar to the anti-Semitic comments in the secular media. Fact is there is not enough space in the Lakewood schools. What should be implemented is that school doesn’t start until every child, Litvish, Chasidish, Sephardic is accepted into school. But to… Read more »
What does this have to do with misnagdim? Does the poster mention anything about that? WE HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM HERE We have a little breathing room, because meschistim opened their own schools, but save for that, it’s only boutique modern stuff or special ed stuff down the line. I had heaven and earth moved for me to get my son into OT from one of the smaller schools, just lucked into a fortunate shul relationship with someone who knows someone who couldn’t be ignored. But it could have been me. The default answer when you call the big schools… Read more »
If you want to move to an already established community other than your own, do not expect to be turned into a king over there. Show some respect to the community for letting you in and tolerating you. You can bash Lakewood and Litvishers all you want but think about it if the tables were turned. How many of you lubavitchers who have so much “ahavas yisrael” which is so evident by these nice comments, how many of you would be happy with and encourage a group of Litvishers establishing their own community in crown heights? What…why so silent suddenly?… Read more »
Rabbi Pinny Lipschutz, publisher of Yosed Neemon newspaper (whose elter zeide was secretary to the Kovno Rav, Rav Yitzchok Elchonon Spektor). He has been bending over backward for years to show that he is not anti Lubavitch or anti Chasidic. So much so, that some Misnagdim think he is OTD, off the Misnagdishe derech.
This is not a new problem, nor is it a hidden one, or the only one. Lakewood was never intended to sustain this kind of population growth. The schools can’t keep up, there is a serious mikva problem, the traffic is out of control, and resentment from the larger local community is at an all-time high. These are things everyone would come across before moving.
I agree that more ahavas yisroel is needed
Move to Norfolk Virginia, Rochester NY, or Baltimore MD. They all have available positions and a fresh community to start.
I have 2 suggestions for you: 1. move to a more welcoming, less mitnadishe community where ahavas yisroel exists or 2. Start your own Chabad schoo. Because honestly, I don’t see you winning this battle. Lakewood doesn’t like Chabad (forget what hype they may spew) & they are so entrenched in their disdain, even hate, for openness & they run the town. How many kids have gone OTD because of their narrow-mindedness & chumros? How many families were basically run out of town? I’m glad you posted this & with your own names. I hope you can find a satisfactory… Read more »
Great options with great lubavitch chinuch
Because I know MO parents who couldn’t get their kids into MO schools and they are sending them to public school. MO schools are very expensive and they just can’t afford it even with all their degrees, etc.
It is a problem that is affecting ALL groups chassidic, litvish and modern.
While I am sorry for your daughter and other children without schools, wouldn’t it make more sense to post this on a website read by people from Lakewood? Lubavitch is small in Lakewood, and I’m not sure COLlive and its readers will help you.
This has nothing to with being lubavitch. He was rejected for whatever reason or reasons, and can join the club with all others who were rejected. It’s a Busha and a Cherpa how you twist this story in order to talk such filth and hateful loshon hara on Lakewood and on Litvishe Yidden in order to satisfy your ego and boost your self esteem! As other people commented that there are many lubavitchers who do attend and were accepted to Lakewood mosdos and also many lakewooders who sometimes don’t get accepted. That only means that the author of this article… Read more »
An option that is not often thought of (but that I used when in Lakewood 20 years ago) was the online school for children of Shluchim. It offers a fantastic learning program, has dedicated teachers and is a chabad school in derech and minhagim.
Your children will have friends where they live and will even be able to visit the school at times due to proximity (there are a few get together during the year, usually during the kinus). [possible you could do photography there]
Reading this post made me cry What pain Reb Yosef and his wife must feel? Reading this post on Tisha bav made me weep We need moshiach Reading this post as a litvish girl ( please forget the term misnaged) Made me feel responsible to forward But, please be melamed zchus …..the community is growing by leaps and bounds ….it’s exponential growth really cannot be sustained I have countless relatives who have struggled to get into schools and none of them are Chabad…..in the meantime I have taken to daven for their precious daughter, because I was taught to have… Read more »
I grew up in a community based school where no matter what everyone went to school. Then moved after marriage to another one small school town, where again everyone was accepted. Then when we finally had kids we had a job opportunity to move to a big frum city.When we applied to school we could not afford the lubavitch school and the Chabad house style preschool told us they make more money out of secular Jews because they donate on top of tuition. We were told if they took my kids they would “loose money.” Unfortunately our story was not… Read more »
There are people here that do have the time and knowledge to start yeshevas because they did so in CH
Maybe the people behind lamplighters would be interested in starting a satellite school
Although I am not a Lubavitcher, I am a great admirer of Chabad and the work they d. That being said I must point out that I am truly disgusted by some of the negative comments s comments that were said about Lakewood and mid nag dim in general. As a movement that puts ahavas Yisroel at its center it would be important to note that loving your fellow Jew does not only apply to a Jew who is not religious, it also applies to a Jew who disagrees with you own way of living
just as we have standards your new community also has basic standards. When all yeshivas say no is it possible that its not them its me. Do I really know what the rules are. when we reject the standards in truth we set our children up for failure.
Lakewood today has allot of chassidim building their own communities it’s no more just litfish Bobov , satmar , Belz to name a few but they wouldn’t take Lubavitchers either so to speak I will agree that you will have to start something or compute 70 Miles and may it be a Brocha in disguise hatzlocho in what you do though there isn’t much time left to figure it out
We moved out of N.Y. bc crown heights yeshiva full and too exoensive
Some of the uninformed commenters here risk planting ill filling towards good people in Lakewood. I live outside lakewood and my boys attend one of the larger, well established Yeshivos in Lakewood. NEVER was I dismissed or treated differently for being a Lubavitcher. The principals and the Rebeeim have the utmost respect. There are pirctures of many Admurim & gedolim all along the walls of the Yeshiva, including the Alter Rebbe and Rebbe. Lakewood is a very large and diverse community but overwhelmingly upright, erlich and respectful people. In fact, When Sholom Mordechai was freed from jail, the first place… Read more »
The same way other chasidiah groups have their mosdos in Lakewood have their own mosdos, lubys should have too. There’s is a cultural difference between chabad and others no matter what y’all think.
Come to new haven CT.
Making a new chader this coming year!
Great nice community.
The core people are pushing for it to grow and only want good for the community…
Milwaukee is beautiful chinuch is free and have amazing school. https://yesmilwaukee.org
“Convince your shliach “
It’s not his job to make sure your child has a school
Why put pressure on a chassid who I’m sure is overly taxed already?
Start a Chabad school or better yet!! Move to northeast Philadelphia and create a Lubavitch community and a school.
There are hundreds of thousands of students at home schools all around the country. Religious Goyim refuse to send their kids to the public schools. Put an ad in papers there and have a group of people start it. I expect that it will be very successful.
I don’t think you should say that they are going through a very hard time
Count your blessings and find your way to a Chabad school!
Work on opening a Chabad girls school. Start with a
small class . You will get Chabad teachers from other
areas.
Any idea where most of the money for Rubashkin come from? Do u know that misnagdisher rules about Tznius are way higher than ours. I think we should do self introspection before we blame our problems on the elite of today’s society.
Just the worlds largest Chabad House and those Shluchims go to great schools in Piscataway
Just some advice in my opinion ,quiet tactics R a better solution in the long run !
Should understand that we do not mock misnagdim. Especially on Tisha bav…
לבלתי רום לבבם מאחיהם כו׳
Let [the men of our fraternity] not become haughty in relation to their brethren, i.e., their opponents, who caused the arrest of the Alter Rebbe.
ולא להרחיב עליהם פה, או לשרוק עליהם, חס ושלום
Let them not jeer nor whistle derisively at them, heaven forfend.
הס מלהזכיר, באזהרה נוראה
A strict warning: Hold your peace! Mention nothing!
In defense of #12, I know which school it is and yes it is progressive in the sense that they educate each child to their own level while being makpid on Chassidus.
They have an amazing school and should continue growing.
Now go buy a plane ticket to Israel, gather together 10 Jews, and go to Har Hamenuchos, to R. Aharon’s grave, and beg mechilah for the disgusting lashon hara you just delivered yourself of against him.
The rebbe said there’s no such thing as a misnagid. Crown heights are misnagdim to litvaks. It’s a 2 way street. Many years ago Monsey didn’t have a chabad mosad, neither did Crown Heights. In Crown heights you screw over your own brothers and price them out of rents. Make a Mosad in Lakewood. What’s the big deal if you don’t have time make time. I think it’s disgusting that Chabad says they have ahavas Yisrael and call people snags.
Your daughter is beautiful, and Hashem will help! I am sure with tefilla, advice from trusted friends, and mashpiim, write into the ohel, or go daven, you will find the right place for your daughter. You can travel all around the wotld, but in the end, there is no place like home- your family should be zoche to raise your children with a good, healthy education with chasdidus, and the ahavas yisroel of the Rebbe and Chaddidim that is unmistakable! And, let this be a lesson to all of us to invest ourselves more in our childrens’ education and mosdos… Read more »
With a wonderfull chabad cheder.
Affordable housing and they are opening a cheder there as well. — fo Ch’ers looking for options.
You don’t realize how lucky you are
Great Cheder. Nice people.
Schools and Education in the younger age is the one of the most important factor for a stable and successful life as an adult. Don’t hesitate and convince your shaliach to build up a Chabad School there. We had a similar problem when our children were small there didn’t even exist a school for frum kids in the whole country. We gathered some families and together with our shliach we opened a primary School. After 6 years it continued with a gymnasium and after 12 yeast the first kids graduated. This year they graduated as one of the best schools… Read more »
It’s a mainstream Misnagid Community; together with Baltimore.
Try LA, (both the City or the Valley); or LONG BEACH – CA; or HOUSTON; or MIAMI; or PITTSBURGH.
They’re all places you can still make a decent living & put ur kids in great Great Chabad Schools.
Hatzlocha Raba
Move to 5ts!! Chabad schools and govt bus to crown heights schools.
It’s almost impossible to buy a house, and the rent us completely abnormal….
I cant imagine the rebbi would want people to stay in undersized apts for ridiculous prices.
It’s still the rebbes shechuna even if people move out.
The best thing is to make your own school, especially if there are others in the same situation. I’d be glad to help put with education guidance.
So I’m sure you’d like to buy them a house in Crown Heights, right? Did you even read the article “Priced out of the housing market in Crown Heights”.
Hate to say but as someone that considers themselves Chabad, you have no business there, if you are looking for affordable housing there are plenty of communities where you’d fit in. Till Moshiach comes Chabad and the ilk of the Lakewood community don’t belong together. That is the real sadness of Tisha B’Av that and the Millions of Dollars earmarked to save the chassiidim in Europe that Rabbi Kotlar Hid in Swiss Banks for his own benefit.
I’m confused why you’re complaining? there are so many chabad communities outside of nyc(just as close as Lakewood) why put your kids in a non-chabad school to begin with?
This nonsense has to stop if want to see moshiach in our life time
Something is missing.
While you are definitely a fantastic photographer,i am positive there are a few more individuals in Lakewood that are also photographers.
If you chose to settle in Lakewood and they have this guideline of internet etc.I will advise you to see what others in your field do.
May you be matzliach
most can’t afford to live here. I stay because I’m from here but truly,rents and mortgages are are astronomical.
I find it perplexing that on Tisha beav there is no shame on you taking to the web and bashing a system. I would like to give some constructive criticism. I feel your pain but the reaction is not clever. As a chossid that grew up with chasidus: When a school said they have to think about it did you make a chesbon hanefesh if you adhere to standards of the school. I know you keep cholov Yisroel but I am sure you are aware that there is a lot more in the spirit of Judaism that may in conflict… Read more »
Imagine they would have accepted your kid?!?! You know how that would have messed up her life and all future generations of hers?! You are LUCKY it’s 70 min drive to a Lubavitch school! This is bashert! Make sure you tell her this story and she will know the importance of ahavas Yisroel over the “amount” of tots learned and the contest on who finishes shmone esrey the last. In Lubavitch we got our issues but you cannot compare to the nauseating competitions they got goin on. And today would be a nice time to wish your neighbors a gut… Read more »
You moveto Lakewood of all places because your priority was housing prices, so you got Lakewood with all of its multiple flaws, there are many areas closer tolubavitch communities that are cheaper on housing as we’ll and then you have a lot less of the chinuch ussues.
Your daughter looks so sweet! This breaks my heart!
Those schools are missing out! The Lubav school is the only one that deserves her!
In the FB group this concern was brought up when you moved and you said there is no issue getting into school there.
We seriously considered moving there in the past, however when we saw our litvishe cousins could barely get their kids into schools, we knew its not an option for us.
Lubavitchers not wanted in Lakewood … who could possibly have guessed
Before moving to any place you check the chinuch situation there.
Please explain what “progressive” education is?!
What goes around, comes around.
The grass always looks greener on the other side.
It’s almost time to make a cheshbon hanefesh.
I will give you a Bracha, that you should move back to Crown Heights, or someplace close enough, that you can put your sheine meidelach in a Lubavitcher Mossad.
HASHEM should bless you abundantly with Idishe, Chassidishe, un Gezunte NACHAS.
Yes you’re school is amazing. Cost of living in la is through the roof. Hard working people are living in tiny homes. Rent is insane and buying a house is out of the question. Kingston/ Wilkes barre and Philadelphia have beautiful schools and amazing communities. They know your work and won’t reject you.
The “communities” are not the place to be…every lubavitcher needs to build a community, each in his own way, in his own level…when your mission in life is to help others and give…everything falls into place…
Its not easy but it is the Rebbe’s expectation
Same problem in miami
Fine Yidden they might be, chassidim their not. There’s a saying: A Goy cannot begin to understand the great joy of not needing to say Tachanun. So too, one cannot begin to truly feel the great importance that each Yid has without chassidus. The above article defines very accurately the definition of a Misnaged. Being totally selfish, yet, full of himself and thinking that he is the Gadol Hador. This is the Misagdisher mentality that we don’t make enough fun of by Farbrengens. Us Lubavitchers should learn what not to do from this and this should give us more appreciation… Read more »
maybe online school?
Thank you for sharing on tishbav. It help me understand the gemara in gitin a little better and how it applys to today in galus. I am really sorry you have been subjected to this it is really sad and of course it is part of why we are still in galus especialy when it is regarding chinuch. It would not make a difference how you make your living they would find another excuse for not letting you kids into there schools thats want kamza bar kamza really means
When you wrote an article when you first moved out to Lakewood, and were promoting it for Lubavitch families, I wrote a comment saying that Lubavitch will never really be accepted in Lakewood. They may be nice to you, but not really accepted. The big elephant in the room here is that you are Lubavitch. The schools would never outright come out and say it, but I believe that is your biggest problem why they are not accepting you. Not your instagram page.
move back to ch!!
Crown heights has tons to work on including education as well but fortunately there are many communities around if you are rejected in crown heights
It’s extremely expensive to live in crown heights and there’s much more to it which I choose not to elaborate on
So before you post cynical comments try to contemplate what is the situation really
The Rebbe also spoke against making housing prises in crown hights unaffordable. One cannot have it both ways.
Maybe time to open up a Gan Yisrael school, like in Boro Park, in Lakewood!
I feel sorry for you that you find yourself in this situation. I’m just trying to understand why you think it’s their obligation to accept a child who is not part of their community when they really are tight on space.
While I hear where you are coming from and I’m sure it is not easy to have no school for your kids there is no reason for you to put yourself in this situation. Before moving to Lakewood people asked you straight up what you were going to do regarding schools for your kids and you dismissed them. I don’t see your point in moving to a community which is so staunchly anti chabad and then expect them to accept your kid. Move to a place that has chabad options
I still remember the comment storm that started on your article about moving to Lakewood, and this was definitely one of the things that many people mentioned. Anyway, I think you’re the one who’s getting lucky. Having been raising in litvishe moisdos, I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. The Rebbe is doing you a favor here. I’m sure it is difficult, but you will probably have to start your own school. The truth is that if you can find a handful of families that can more or less afford a full tuition, you can hire a morah and… Read more »
At 15k per child
You say you did your research but did you? Everyone has known for years already that this is the primary problem with Lakewood. Anyone who lives there will advise you not to move until and unless you have a guaranteed school for your kids. So did you really do your research or did you just convince yourself you would somehow be exempt from the problem?
lakewood doesn’t take their own people, so getting a lubavitcher into lakewood is never going to happen. unfortunately theyre hatered(or jealousy) is showing
Your pain and frustration is palpable, and I’m sorry for that you have to have suffered this. What I will write further is not meant to disqualify the pain and disappointment etc. But EVERYTHING of our existence is relative and changes by perspective, the color of the glasses we choose to wear, what we feel inside projects outside, the energy we summon from within affects outwards… It seems you’ve been shown a huge opportunity. Like the story of the two people who were put into a building that was full of horse manure and associated lovely things not the least… Read more »
This has been a well known “issue” in Lakewood for years. Wherever you go in the frum world, you are not allowed to talk about problems. There are plusses and minuses in every decision. Do you have a mashpia?
Not every (Chabad) mossad is appropriate for every child. Even if you want to choose a Chabad mossad, make sure it is right for yours.
REb Yosef is fighting OUR battle. This has nothing to do with living in Lakewood. THIS IS A PROBLEM IN CROWN HEIGHTS TOO!! Please believe me when I tell you this. I am a teacher for over ten years in the community and children are lately not being accepted to one of our biggest mosdos because of money. When I called the other smaller school on behalf of this child, the dean was a mentch and said let the parent come and substitute or work out a payment schedule etc . The choice was between moving to a normal apartment… Read more »
Re-posting for those who skipped # 7 Interesting I’m sorry that Lakewood has the problem you write about but in all honesty I don’t understand your putting yourself in that situation. The Rebbe spoke time and again about the need to educate our children in ‘the Frierdiker Rebbe’s mosdos’ ie a Lubavitcher school with Lubavitcher chinuch. Lubavitcher chinuch is not just learning about chassidishe yomim tovim it’s learning Torah through the lens of chassidus. The Chumash you learn in a Lubavitcher mosad is different than the Chumash you learn in a non Lubavitch school. The avos, Moshe rabbeinu, they are… Read more »
The Shidlers said clearly that they are already running a full time business and do not have the time or ability to start a school. stop telling them to open their own school! most people cannot do that!
how dare you
people do not have the hundreds of thousand needed to put a down payment, never mind cover mortgages, on houses that are well over a million dollars.
REALITY CHECK
CH is not any better. I’m trying to get my son into Yeshiva I keep getting the same answers. The poor boy doesn’t understand why he’s not getting in. He keeps asking “what I don’t understand they don’t want me to learn?”
Go figure. This our system. Just sad. Then they ask why our children are going off the derech.
We would like to start a lubavitch school. Anyone want to move here and be Morah #1???? Feel free to reach out. There are enough parents looking for a school.
Come to l.a. we opened an amazing proggressive school here we d love to accept your children providing them with the best and most proggressive education tht most other schools dont provide bec we have the most creative and amazing teachers in the world.
Based on your article from a few years back bashing Crown Heights on your way out the door, It just seems like you have a few years of happiness in each place…
See the Sichos re: moving away from CH!
Is there any way that your family and the other families in the same boat, and the teachers who don’t have a job, can get together and create a school? Even if it begins in someone’s living room and then builds? Just a suggestion. Hoping you find a solution quickly. Hatzlocha.
Yosef, we support you totally, thank you for speaking out.
May we hear good news.
I’m sorry that Lakewood has the problem you write about but in all honesty I don’t understand your putting yourself in that situation. The Rebbe spoke time and again about the need to educate our children in ‘the Frierdiker Rebbe’s mosdos’ ie a Lubavitcher school with Lubavitcher chinuch. Lubavitcher chinuch is not just learning about chassidishe yomim tovim it’s learning Torah through the lens of chassidus. The Chumash you learn in a Lubavitcher mosad is different than the Chumash you learn in a non Lubavitch school. The avos, Moshe rabbeinu, they are all different. Etc etc. So the question is… Read more »
Hashem just wants your children in Chabad Schools. BH..
But I saw the rebbe as a young girl and this left a huge impression on me…… but today I would do everything possible to send my children to lubavitch schools so that they can be proud lubavitchers!! I would totally send my kids to new Brunswick with other shluchim kids if that’s the price! And maybe work on getting a committee to start a lubavitch school, this would bring more lubavitch families!!! I wouldn’t want my kids in a school that they’re not wanted. I know Lakewood has got problems. But that’s not your problem. Your concern is to… Read more »
I hear your problem. It’s not only in Lakewood. It’s in Brooklyn and Israel as well. It’s a serious growing problem. To get into a school you need connections. If you are a regular yid you won’t get in unless your older kids are enrolled already in the upper grades. I myself have seen the problems especially among kids from divorced or orphaned families. These kids have a tough time getting into yeshivas. And because they are admitted with one foot out the door they don’t excel. It’s a very sad situation. Of course money plays a role as so… Read more »
I feel your pain, I think it’s time to move to a friend let community!
I have a friend that lives in Lakewood its one big show there they all act to impress one another..
Out of all the places you could’ve moved you pick Lakewood ? You Really thought they would be excepting to have a Chabad Chosied?