By Estee Marcus, Shlucha in S. Mateo, California
Lately, I’ve been hearing about many shluchos who are looking for girls for next year… including our Chabad house, hence this article.
I want to state up front that I, and many of my colleagues, will only take post-sem girls. Seminary is something that we value. Secondly, I know there are situations where the experience for girls has not been a particularly positive one. It saddens me that because of a few negative experiences this wonderful opportunity for our girls is sometimes lost. My advice to parents and girls is to research the shluchim and make sure they have a good track record of working with girls.
I must admit that when I first began hiring girls seven years ago, I was not thinking of what they would be gaining. It was only in our second year, when I got a call from a girl who had worked with us the previous year, thanking me for the experience we had given her, that I began to realize how beneficial this experience was for the girls.
In addition to the altruistic “chassidishe” reasons, I would suggest the following “selfish”perks, based on the feedback I and other shluchos have received over the years:
Material Perks and Benefits:
I speak to many shluchos who offer the same perks as we do. Girls get a nice apartment,a good car, all food and gas expenses paid for, two airline tickets, over 25 paid days of holiday/personal vacation, and a monthly stipend. The girls often work in preschools in the mornings, with Hebrew school once a week and tutoring once a week. They help with the yomim tovim and may run a bat mitzvah club. The cost for shluchim, depending on where they live, is approximately $25,000 per year per girl which is very nice wages for interns who are just starting to work in a field. As one of our girls, M.B shared, “I didn’t realize how well we were getting paid until I moved to Crown Heights this year. I work all day in Manhattan and after I pay my rent and food I have no salary left!”
Professional Development/Shlichus Training:
When our girls come and spend the year this is usually their first real job. Going from a student/school environment into the professional world is something we all go through. Your first job is when you make that transition. Doing so with a nurturing and supportive environment is a profound gift.
In practical terms, when you work with an experienced, supportive and engaged shlucha, you will be getting extensive professional training that will help you for the rest of your life and especially in your first few years in the real world. You will learn techniques in how to speak to parents of children in your care or how to speak to and deal with colleagues. You will learn how to answer challenging questions on shlichus and how to be professional and friendly. The girls are getting a year of hands-on training on how to not only work in any professional environment but are learning to be shluchos. We share with them things that we learned on the job, mistakes made and lessons learned.
Recently a girl who worked for us and now runs her own Chabad House sent me an email. She wrote: “…I was about to tell a parent in our Hebrew School what I was thinking but I remembered how you taught us how important it is to really understand where the parents are coming from and to try to see things from their view. Thank you for the pointers, tips and techniques that you shared when I worked with you!”
I receive emails from girls who are not on shlichus but are working as professionals and are so appreciative of the life skills they gained on their year of shlichus. When girls take jobs right after seminary, they often do not have someone holding their hands, and guiding them step by step. But when a girl spends a year on shlichus, they get exactly that.
I hope the above clarifies some misconceptions that are out there about what it’s like to go on post-Sem shlichus and if even one girl decides to go because of this article it will have been worth my while. And if you are looking for a job next year, I know of many wonderful shluchim looking for girls. Email me at [email protected].
P.S. I’ve heard the argument that seminaries seem to think the girls might have too much freedom on their year of shlichus. In my experience, and from talking to girls who were on shlichus, it is quite the opposite. Girls learn with the shluchim each week. They spend their days teaching and spreading Yiddishkeit. They often have to reflect on why they do what they do when teenagers and community members challenge their beliefs. The girls will often come to a shlucha and share questions that they have. Listening to the shluchim/shluchos talk at the shabbos meals offers an enriching learning experience for the girls as well.
Where did you get the idea that people should only be complimented when they go beyond the call of duty? Open any parenting book, any relationship book, and you will learn that people MUST be complimented for doing even the things that they are expected to do. That’s how you build and maintain relationships.
Your comment demonstrates lack of understanding of how people work. You would be a bad person to work for. Sorry!
Although seminary Bais is the ideal option for post seminary girls being that it is not always practical for all girls, shlichus is definitely the best alternative. It is a time where girls apply all their previous knowledge as well as further their education through hands on lessons on how to live a life that makes the rebbe proud. I do understand that there are girls who have had issues with Shluchim in the past, and it is true that there are some problems. I believe that firstly one should look into your Shluchim BEFORE you commit, get references etc.… Read more »
Shluchim should definitely thank their teachers if they do good jobs!
…Ever heard of Hakoras Hatov…?
If youre a shlucha and theres no appreciation, it”ll be extremely hard for your girls to give it their all.
It’s not an aveira to need motivation and appreciation and being that they are growing, they need it.
Mrs. Marcus, beautiful article! Kol Hakavod!
May we have Moshiach now!
Why do people expect to be showered with compliments for doing their job? When you do your job – That is what you have been hired to do. IT IS EXPECTED! If you go beyond the call of duty – that deserves recognition. We don’t give citizen awards for people who do not commit crimes – that is expected of everyone, but we award someone who rose above the normal citizen with bravery and courage. To put it in a way that you can relate better: Did you get thanks and recognition from your teachers for showing up in school… Read more »
Treating them BETTER than yourself is not the proper standard because that is merely how the Torah tells a Master treats his Jewish Slave – which means it’s still okay to treat these poor dedicated girls like slaves! NO THEY AREN’T SLAVES AND YOU AREN’T THEIR MASTERS. It is no wonder there is a shortage of girls going on shlichus and it is a rare girl that returs for a second year of the ordeal.
From someone who;s been on Shlichus for a year, if you would just COMPLIMENT us, or show your appreciation, all the negative wold be overlooked. My friend and I worked so hard, stayed up late, made sure every event and Hebrew School class was perfectly prepared, and yet we enever received the appreciation that we so clearly deserved.
That is EXACTLY the problem, if you treat these girls like yourself then…since i clean the toilets – it’s okay to tell them to do it; since I work like I slave – I can treat them like slaves. No my dear, you must treat the girls much BETTER than yourself!!!
I agree, but the stories I sometimes hear make me cautious.
Yet I’m still going to go i”YH.
Good Luck, and I hope you find great girls!
shluchim read 23
Thats what shluchos is about….you are SPOILED!
wow amazing, you know what is right
This is a joke. right? I’m a shlucha and I find your response so shocking I’m hoping you are NOT a shlucha and this is your warped sense of humor.
If you are a Shlucha, open up your Chumash, Tanya or Pirkei Avos and find the pesukim/sources that talk about Ahavas Yisrael. Rudimentary stuff: Treat your neighbor/fellow Jew as if they are yourself.
all the people writing that the problem is YOU and your attitude. Be very careful – this may sound extreme but it has some points. When we start to blame people for bad things happening to the (yes some shluchim do take advantage and exploit the girls/boys who go on shlichus for them) then we condone it. This is only the first step to condoning many things which are much worse and vey damaging – the its your fault, you brought it upon yourself , its your attitude.
No, some people are just bad in that way.
I took you seriously until I got to the part about the baby and the empty fridge. I would NEVER put my baby in someone else’s room so that I could sleep at night. And there is no excuse for starving someone who comes into your home; weight loss is their business, not yours. The bottom line is, shlichus is not always easy or rosy. But you cannot expect service “for the cause” without putting yourself in the other person’s shoes – on both sides. Another point – I remember hearing from a girl about her experience on shlichus. She… Read more »
You have a wrong attitude. What is so terrible about babysitting for a shlucha? It is a zchus to tidy up a chabad house, so why degrade it to janatorial or maid services? Shopping for a pe’ulah is part of the mivtza! And picking up the dry cleaning allows the shliach to attend to more important tasks. The “beat up car” is probably not much worse looking than the car the shlucha drives herself! Sleeping in a room with a pure delicious baby – a malach! And an empty fridge – help keep off the extra pounds as you approach… Read more »
thank you so much! someone had to say it!
im on shlichus right now and i think shluchim should get a course so they can learn how to treat the girls they hire. it is so important for us to get suport from them so we can do our best. (realize that is not as easy for us to do all this work right after 16 years of going to school every day). it is def. a great experience and it helps a lot to grow and learn.
and totally agree with #43!!
right on Esty, all shluchos should be as kind and considerate and dedicated as you are…..kol hakovod
To number 39 and any other young ladies considering Shlichus: I agree with everything Mrs Marcus notes. Our Shluchos continue to indicate how much their time with us on Shlichus had so much of a positive influence on their lives. Living the Rebbe’s dream to help others… seeing the palpable difference you are single-handedly making on the families you are interacting with – is there anything better than that?
Interested? We are looking for Shluchos to be part of a wonderful team as our community grows and we transition into a new Chabad House. Email me at [email protected]
To 8. I never had a remotely close experience to what you are describing and neither did my friends that I spoke to, who were also on Shlichus. To 15, Why do you think the Rebbe would not approve? I learned more on Shlichus then I would at home or Sem. Where is your source or even your reasoning for saying such a thing? When I person is put in a position to be a role model and a giver, (which on Shlichus you are forced to be) the person will grow & become a more chassidus person as a… Read more »
As a recent ’employee’ of Esty’s and the community of San Mateo, I cannot begin to describe the extent of my agreement with this article. Yes, of course you have to look into the Shluchim. I was lucky and I am filled with gratitude that I was privileged to spend not one, but two years with the Marcuses- and they were the best two years of my life. It’s even more than what Esty says: Professional skills, shlichus skills, communication skills, negotiation skills- LIFE skills that have served me and I know will always continue to serve me, so so… Read more »
you have touched and inspired me, i needed a sign if i should go on shlichus and bang there is your article. thank you so much!!
awesome article!!
we all agree wholeheartedly! 😉
love ur favoritest nieces
Thank you! Girls have told us that the year they had by us on shlichus prepared them for marriage and shlichus much more than their years of seminary. It is a year of practical, hands on chassidus.
shlichus is best transiton for school to “real life”.
many girls are so lost after sem bais…
I went on shlichus after sem and for me it was the best thing I ever did! I got the best hand-on training on how to be a good mother, teacher and shlucha. No sem bais experience could have given me that. My friends who opted out of shlichus and went back to crown heights are always telling me how lucky I am to have had that experience. Yes part of it was changing diapers in preschool or hanging signs around town for an event – but when you do things with a shlichus attitude no job feels “degrading” or… Read more »
I worked for Shluchim the year after sem. I was promised a car, an apartment, food, and a job. i didn’t get a car till three quarters of the year. I had to pay for my own transportation. I had to sleep in the shluchim’s house with no privacy. I did get supper every night and my groceries restocked once a week. I worked a full day in preschool with no assistant besides for hebrew school and all the other programs. i got a very low salary… AND IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST EXPERIENCES I’VE EVER HAD!!! Why? because… Read more »
A) It is a nice article
B) The shluchim DEFINITELY need to treat the girls respectfully. I have had a few instances of extreme frustration this year because I felt like I was being “used and abused.” We came to be teachers, leaders, helpers, but definitely not your slaves… please remember that!
No.15 still did not give her source for what the Rebbe said. Maybe she should read no. 30 and not say things without a 100 percent source.
Have you heard the horrendous stories out there? The ones of a girl climbing up ladders on the highway to hang up signs for the chabad house or as a punishment for taking a day off work (which she agreed to) we had to toivel stuff in the ocean or stay in a dangerous location where drugs and abuse was happening, where the police were called on a daily basis, oh yeah and getting paid close to nothing. Didnt hear about it??? well let me tell you….. those all happened to me and you should hear my friends stories. its… Read more »
Many years ago, my older sister wanted to teach at a shaliach about 2 hours drive from Crown Heights. She was in Sem Beis at the time and my mother wanted her to stay in Crown Heights. My mother went with her to the Rebbe to try and talk her out of it. To my mother’s shock, the Rebbe told my sister to go teach at the shliach! My sister went and had such an amazing time! she said later that she learned so much from that experience which helped her when she became a shlucha a few years later.
the rebbe would hold the shlichus boys back until they were 20 years old (ben esrim lirdof). if they graduated zal at 19 they would do a 4th year. while i think the Mrs. Marcus presents some valid points. i do have to agree that a second year of learning would probably benefit the girls more than a hands on experience at the age of 19. i myself have been working at a chabad house since i left sem and i wish i had that second year (albeit even if only half day) of learning under my belt. after that… Read more »
it costs the SHLUCHIM $25,000 if you include salary, car (and insurance) room and board, plane tickets and the occassional fender bender
& happiness
Right after sem my daughter went to work for a shaliach (40min drive daily) while at the same time her long time close friend chose to go directly to work (in city) while my daughter worked hard, at first both seemed happy in their respective environments. Sadly to today almost two years later, my daughter is BH engaged & very enriched by the way she spent the last two years, in stark contrast, her friend unfortunately has declined noticably, has no intentions of getting married any time soon, and is clearly regretful and unhappy, but feels its too late! she… Read more »
Mrs Marcus means their salary plus benefits is equivalent to $25,000, because all of their living expenses are paid for. The girls could get $25,000 and then be asked to pay for rent, buy their own groceries, buy their own car, pay for their own travel, etc.
great idea
you are doing wonderful work and your needs are many but you have to be very careful-
taking girls to work for and with you is a huge responsibility that many people abuse.
the girls are young and yes you do need to be sure of certain things having them work for you.
she should feel that you care about her bgashmius and bruchnius. and takeh you should do all you can to ensure her health and development bgashmius and bruchnius.
hatzlacha.
The article does not say the girls are paid $25,000, it says it costs $25,000, which includes what the schliach calculates as the cost providing room, board and a car. The only cash the girl gets is a monthly stipend – I’m guessing five hundred to 1,000 dollars a month.
I think this article is really beautiful and very sensitively written for all ages. BUT i think that as a girl who was in a sem and gave that experience of shluchos there. So as a post sem girl didn;t feel the need to travel abroad or be away from home but rather work in an office by my area of home, and at the same time be fully involved with the high school where i was brought up by. On a whole girls think they have to travle the world to do shluchos, whilst forgetting that there is right… Read more »
the article was great but i highly doubt your average shliach pays 25,000 a year for one girl it would not be worth it for him and some shluchim bring down 2 or 3 dont think there paying 50,000 or 75 either
You quote the Rebbe. Source please. Without a source your words mean nothing
what? i’ve never heard of shluchim who pay 25,000 per girl?!!!!
what is the visa situation for girls who want to work in america ? can the shluchim get them for the girls ??
this is a great articles but only if all shluchim were as great as the marcus’s who are excellent and treat their girls great.
I had a negative experience and so did many of the other people i spoke to.
I sincerly beleive that shlichus is not the place for a single girl, girls should be learning as much as they can. This is their time to build the foundation of their home. If girls have an oportunity to be in a shana beis seminary, you have a responsibility as someone who cares about the girl and not just your personal benifit (or the fact that you don’t anyone to do all your jobs for you) to encourage her to do so! This whole concept of sending young girls on shlichus was not part of what the Rebbe wants and… Read more »
well said
I agree 100%. It is so beneficial for those interested in that kind of work. My shlichus year was the best year of my life. It put all you learnt in seminary into practice, and I worked for the most unbelievable shluchim who were an example, an inspiration and treated you like Gold. There is so much to gain from this year. To give is to get!
What’s more, is that year of Shlichus is likely to change many girls life view for years to come. I was not interested in Shlichus throughout my High School years and even in Seminary as well. But after two years of working for two different Shluchim, my mind was made up, (despite the various “hardships” that may have come up) It’s one thing to learn something your entire life, but doing it is something entirely different. I highly recommend Shlichus preferably after Sem, but if you don’t end up doing Sem for whatever the reason, then Shlichus may be your… Read more »
#6 is absolutely right. What Mrs. Marcus said is 100% true and I agree with her whole heartedly. However this all only applies if the interns are treated as mentchen and valued for all their work and energy they put in to their year on shlichus. The shluchim need to realize that as passionate as a post-seminary girl will be about her shlichus at their chabad house, she will never be as passionate as the shluchim themselves are. Because at the end of the day, for her, it is a job-it’s not the rest of her life. When shluchim realize… Read more »
Totally agree with this!! Just finished my year of shluchos and it was exactly as Esty described- I was just looking for a job and had no idea the tremendous experience II would gain!!
Thank you Esty for voicing this so eloquently!
There is much to be gained for both the Shluchim AND the girls. As Esty said do your research, ask questions, get refrences – you will find that for the most part MOST shluchim are not using their girls as janitors and babysitters – and ALL stand to gain tremendously
I learned how to responsability…as I was the full time babysitter. I improved my organizational skills…as I was the janitor and maid. I learned finance…as I was doing all the shopping (and picking up the dry cleaning). At home I would never do half the stuff I was told to do – and I was well paid: a beat up car to drive, a basement room to sleep in (with the baby), and the fridge was always empty (I was invited to make my own food). Was this an unusual experience? No, same happened with ALL my friends. Is Shlichus… Read more »
I agree with number 6
the potentially valuable internship is only actually valuable if there is mutual respect . the intern should not be used as a stand in for babysitter, janitor, home attendant, etc. the intern should realize they are being given an opportunity and the employers should realize they are mentors getting the benefit of good employees at a fraction of the cost. the interns should appreciate the hands-on exeperience. the employers should appreciate their responsibility. if both do their part the partnership can be mutually rewarding. if iether one doesn’t it can cause harm.
GO CHABAD FIVE TOWNS!
I agree with mrs. marcus 100%
a year on shlichus is a year of life lessons, accomplishing and exciting. If the shluchim are looked into and thye have a good record, then yes you should encourage your daughter to go! she’ll have other opportunities to work in crown heights, but one year on shlichus is extrememly beneficial. I know the shluchim I am working at now are looking for girls for next year- and guess what- there are none in sight. Whats going on? where are all the girls?
As a very close friend of Esty’s I can tell you that working for her is the most beneficial thing anyone can do with their post seminary year!
Intrested in spending a year in California? Join our shlichus in a small relaxed town driving distance from L.A. for a warm and fulfilling experience. We are looking for one girl whom would be a fabulous example to our community and kinderlach…and boy, will you be well taken care of.
Contact us at [email protected].
totally true!