Strength through Unity
“Someone who works on behalf of the Rebbe’s causes is precious to the Rebbe. We need to act, even when it’s difficult. Does the Rebbe want a Jew to have worries, G-d forbid? The Rebbe who is a Jew who wants only good for other Jews, but how can one know if things are being done in the most genuine way? When things are done differently than how one would have wanted, different from how they ought to have been? Nature and order dictate that it be one way, but the Rebbe does it a bit differently.”
Rabbi Leibel Groner
This Thursday marks Gimmel (3) Tammuz, the 26th yahrzeit of the Lubavitcher Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson. Born in Ukraine, he barely escaped the horrors of Nazi and Communist Europe, arriving in the U.S. and transforming Chabad into the spiritual powerhouse of today, with thousands of synagogues, schools, and Chabad Houses all over the globe.
The Avner Institute presents a series of anecdotes from the Rebbe’s secretary Rabbi Leibel Groner, of blessed memory, who earlier this year tragically succumbed to the coronavirus. Rabbi Groner, who had scarcely left the Rebbe’s side, made one visit to Israel in honor of his son’s engagement. There he gave over a farbrengen, describing the daily life at the “court” of 770 and bringing to light the Rebbe’s insistence on his followers’ unwavering devotion to Chabad ideals and 24/7 mutual support – powerful lessons for today’s troubled times.
“Dedicated to the cause, heart and soul”
Only once did the Rebbe’s secretary Rabbi Leibel Groner, of blessed memory, ever visit Israel before 3 Tammuz 5754 (1994). This was to celebrate the engagement of his son, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Groner, which took place at the beginning of Nissan 5739 (1979). During that trip, Rabbi Groner led a farbrengen on Motzei Shabbos, 3 Nissan, in the large shul in Nachlat Har Chabad. Many Chassidim attended.
The farbrengen, which lasted many hours, carried a central message – the demand for unity among Chassidim, as reflected in what Rabbi Groner had seen from the Rebbe himself in the course of his secretarial work in the Rebbe’s office. Rabbi Groner shared a number of remarkable stories and anecdotes on this theme as eye-witnessed inside the Rebbe’s office.
“The Walls Have Ears”
Rabbi Groner learned early that nothing could be hidden from the Rebbe.
Want to bring the Rebbe satisfaction? I’m speaking generally. Let’s think about it for a moment: people are doing various things, and you have to know that “the walls have ears.”
The news arrives: there was an incident not with Chabad, but with Neturei Karta, the fringe group in Jerusalem. The Satmars, who back Neturei Karta, put out a publication against the Rebbe, and we in the office decided not to tell the Rebbe about it, so it wouldn’t cause him distress.
A week passed. I went into the Rebbe’s office, and the first thing the Rebbe asked was, “Why didn’t you bring this thing to me?”
I pretended not to understand what the Rebbe was asking for. But the Rebbe continued, referring to such-and-such publication against Lubavitch.
“Where is it?” he demanded. “Why didn’t you show it to me?”
I remained silent. But the Rebbe continued “I want this thing in my office by tonight.”
What did I learn from this? There’s no withholding anything from the Rebbe. I wanted to hide it, as did others, and yet by some indirect manner the news reached the Rebbe.
“I Demand of Myself Ten Times More!”
To the Rebbe, nothing was impossible.
It is the Rebbe’s view that yungerleit, young adults, today can maintain total unity like there once was, the way Chassidim are supposed to be.
I was once in yechidus, private audience. When I entered the Rebbe’s office, it was not as a secretary, rather as someone in personal conversation.
The Rebbe demanded something of me. I didn’t object, G-d forbid, but the Rebbe grasped that I was not comprehending how it was something I could carry out. In spite of the Rebbe’s orders, I couldn’t see how I, with my limited abilities, could do so.
I stood silently in the Rebbe’s room. The Rebbe raised his head. “Don’t get it wrong,” he said. “As much as I demand of you – I demand of myself ten times more!”
Several weeks later, a fellow Chassid Reb Nissan Nemenov went in for yechidus. After emerging from the Rebbe’s room, he gave a farbrengen and shared a vort, something of interest.
“When I was by the Rebbe,” he began, “the Rebbe demanded that I in turn demand a certain thing from the young.
“I stared at the Rebbe. ‘How? How is it possible?’
“The Rebbe replied, ‘Before I go out to a farbrengen and demand something on the part of the Chassidim, I mentally estimate to what extent the Chassidim will be able to carry it out. If I estimate that they’ll be able to carry out at least fifty percent of my request – then I make the demand.’
“Reb Nissan said: Don’t take it from this angle, take it from the opposite end! Think of how many things the Rebbe would want to demand of us but doesn’t. That’s what ah Chassidisher Yid is.
“`The Rebbe has mercy on us. He reflects and demands things from us that only fifty percent of us or fifty percent of which can be carried out. What would he really want from us?
“I personally am ‘who knows what.’ I once heard from the elder Chassidim, there was a Jew – the first Kotzker Rebbe Menachem Mendel Morgenstern – who said that what he’d want his Chassidim to do is wear a leaf for a head covering and a sack for clothes. What was his point? He wanted to demonstrate that the world is nothing.
“`I hesitate to say this, but I’ll tell you, the Rebbe would want that young men be completely divested from everything else. They should be dedicated one hundred percent to the things the Rebbe wants.’”
“Where is the ‘Bissel Sechel’?”
The Rebbe stressed how love for a fellow Jew should come from the head, not only the heart.
The Rebbe demands that there be unity. The Rebbe demands now that we do a favor for another Jew. The Rebbe demands now that we reflect on another Jew. We’re being asked not to “cut the wings off” of another Jew, not to diminish his or her importance.
In a sicha, Chassidic discourse, of the Previous Rebbe printed 12 Tammuz 5708 (1948), Rabbi Yosef Yitchak Schneersohn asked, “What’s a farbrengen?” A farbrengen is speaking of someone’s virtues until others ‘get it.’ The goal is to speak positively, not negatively. We do not denigrate or discuss anyone’s shortcomings.
L’chaim! May G-d help the young and old adults, and the children. I am nothing; there is no need to look at me. We need to hear things as they are. And there are demands of us now.
The Rebbe told me a vort. The day before I traveled here, the Rebbe said to me, “I don’t demand too much sechel [common sense] from Chassidim, but they can stand to have a little sechel. Where is the bissel sechel?”
The bissel sechel is agitated: why shouldn’t the Rebbe have enjoyment? There are yungerleit from whom the Rebbe derives enjoyment. They are dedicated to the cause, heart and soul.
Someone who works on behalf of the Rebbe’s causes is precious to the Rebbe. We need to act, even when it’s difficult. Does the Rebbe want a Jew to have worries, G-d forbid? The Rebbe who is a Jew who wants only good for other Jews, but how can one know if things are being done in the most genuine way? When things are done differently than how one would have wanted, different from how they ought to have been? Nature and order dictate that it be one way, but the Rebbe does it a bit differently.
“Uch un vey”
The Rebbe is the sum of all the parts – the parts being his Chassidim. He feels their pain, in the most excruciating way.
Listen, Chassidim: The Rebbe demands unity. Don’t make even the slightest mistake about this. I’m there and I see how things are, and not only do I see, but I also hear what’s being said.
After his heart attack on the night of Shmini Atzeres 5738 (1977), we all bear responsibility for the Rebbe’s health. When there’s discord, it has an effect health-wise.
If I could describe to you how much health is consumed – I wouldn’t have the words for it. When I go into the Rebbe’s office and the Rebbe tells me something and at the end says “Uch un vey, [pain and woe],” how am I supposed to feel? Why am I different than anybody else, just because I go in there on a regular basis?
Go in yourselves! What difference does it make whether I’m the one going in or it’s somebody else? It’s all the same Do I have a greater yichus [pedigree] than anyone else?
You hear the uch, and I’ll hear the uch. When you go in for yechidus and tell the Rebbe something, at the end the Rebbe says “uch,” what would happen then? After leaving yechidus, you’d say that you feel broken. Why did the Rebbe say “uch”?
Everyone would clearly say that the Rebbe is broken by this. It’s just that I hear this so much that for me it’s already commonplace. But does that change its significance? No, it doesn’t change things at all!
My point – when the Rebbe says “uch,” that “uch un vey unz,” I’ll tell you again, I don’t want to give you any dark thoughts, Heaven forbid. We must be happy and grateful to G-d that the Rebbe is healthy, relatively speaking. The Rebbe can sit and farbreng, the Rebbe replies to letters, the Rebbe responds to yechidus for a minute, two minutes, whatever it is – thank G-d we must be joyful.
I was not in that kind of state on Simchas Torah 5738. I’ll tell you the truth, I sat with the doctors, and they told me I didn’t know what was going on. I came into the shul on the night of Simchas Torah, I drank some liquor, and I told those present: “You’re mistaken: on Shmini Atzeres morning the situation was such-and-such, and thank G-d for the situation as it is now. We must dance and be happy, and the Rebbe wants us to be happy.” And we truly do need to be happy, thank G-d.
There was once a woman – not from Israel, but from a different country – who went to see the Rebbe. She was there for less than sixty seconds. (The Rebbe had asked on Simchas Torah that people go in for less than a minute, and that’s what she did.)
When she came out, she said, “Ah mechayeh – a relief.”
“What’s ah mechayeh?” I asked her.
She replied, “It’s a mechayeh that we can go in, that we have to whom to go in.”
“Father and son”
The Rebbe always stressed not only love, but simply getting along.
Let’s talk in simple terms. When I interact with another Jew, and when I do something, do I want the other person to be unhappy? No! If love him, then I want this person to be happy.
Why does the Rebbe have to moan “uch” about a matter involving two Jews? Is there something like this anywhere else? When two people are unable to speak with each other the Rebbe cries, “Uch! Why? Why does he deserve this?”
Why do there have to be things that the Rebbe has to say “uch” about?” They cause him displeasure. Why should it be that way? A son doesn’t do that to his father, a father doesn’t do that to his son, a husband doesn’t do that to his wife. It just doesn’t exist. We do everything so that everyone should be happy.
So why, when it involves someone for whom people would go through fire and water – but when it comes to something that affects another personally, the Rebbe’s desire is forgotten? But that’s the reality, that suddenly it all vanishes and the deed is done, and then when news of what happened arrives, it turns out to have been the opposite of the Rebbe wishes.
A Chassid Reb Shmuel Levitin would always say, “If you want to love the Rebbe, love the Rebbe the way a father loves his son. This comes naturally for a father and son. And that’s how it has to be towards the Rebbe as well. Don’t look for Chassidus to complicate this basic idea.”
When an issue arises, we have to see to it that by the time it reaches the Rebbe it should be resolved in a manner that causes no discord. No matter what the issue at hand is – be it in Kfar Chabad, or Nachlat Har Chabad, or Safed or Jerusalem, and the same in New York; be it Brooklyn or somewhere else – but since I’m speaking here in Israel, that’s what we’re currently discussing.
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