Life’s Problems
When things don’t go our way—or worse, when they go against us—we are apt to sink into despair and brood over perceived unfairness. How to rise above our challenges? The Avner Institute presents the Rebbe’s response to a depressed individual over seemingly negative events, their inherent good and Divine role, and our free will to determine their outcome.
In Loving Memory of Hadassah bas Shneur Zalman
“In One’s Own Small Universe”
By the Grace of G-d
8 Cheshvan 5713
Brooklyn 13, New York
Blessing and Greeting:
I have duly received your letter, but due to the intervention of the month of Tishei and all the festivals in it, I was unable to reply to it sooner. In the meantime, you have no doubt received my good wishes for the New Year.
Referring to your letter and various questions and problems about which you write, I want to dwell on Item 6 of your letter, which contains the key to all the other problems. In this paragraph you mentioned that you feel depressed and cannot see any reasons for a brighter future. You ask how you can get rid of your fears.
The answer is completely simple. When a person will reflect, in a logical way, about the creation and the order and precision and laws that are to be found in nature, the conclusion must be inescapable. There is a tremendous system of order in the universe, and strict laws, and therefore there can be no doubt that the world is regulated by plan, order, and purpose.
The very fact that there is order, purpose and law in the universe, must lead one to the conviction that all is good, since evil is the opposite of order and system, and is associated with chaos.
No matter how much importance a person attaches to one’s own self and one’s own problems, he must recognize that if there is such order in such a complicated universe, how much easier it is to bring about law and order in one’s own small universe—a thought which should lead to satisfaction and peace of mind.
If there are people who complicate their lives, it is because people have free choice of action and mind. But this very fact of the human being having a free will is part of the entire system of goodness and purpose in the world, for it was G-d’s design that the human being should not be an automaton but should be able, freely, to choose eternal life and goodness.
Free Will
If we consider all of the above, we must come to the firm conviction that if man would not upset his own life through circumstances depending upon his free will, he would inevitably come to the good. Even if, temporarily, one finds oneself in an unpleasant or painful situation, it is surely infinitely insignificant by comparison to all the good will result from it.
By way of illustration: if you see a person working a job for somebody else, it will seem at first glance that the employer is exploiting the knowledge, experience, and energy of the employee, and that the employee seemingly has no immediate benefit from his toil. To him who is unaware that at the end of the week the worker will receive his pay envelope, it would seem the height of cruelty and injustice to exploit another human being in this fashion. But come payday at the end of the week, the worker will receive full compensation for his sweat and toil, which will enable him to support himself, his wife, and family. It will then be clear that not only is there no injustice or cruelty in such work, but that the work is amply compensated.
Similarly in one’s personal life. If it seems to one that there appears to be no purpose in his personal life and that there seems to be, rather, more pain than pleasure in it, it is only because one cannot foresee the future and the results of the circumstances which have caused such pain and exertion.
However, the firm faith and knowledge that the Almighty is Master of the Universe, and that every human being is but a small part of it, and therefore, the Almighty is Master also of the personal life of each human being with all that happens in it, also gives the certain knowledge that no matter how one’s life is shaped, there must be justice in it and each human being will, sooner or later, depending upon his merit and energy, eventually see that this is so.
No Sadness
In light of the above, you may be quite certain that there is a good answer to all your problems and that eventually all the complications will be resolved satisfactorily. Needless to say, one has to seek to solve one’s problems, but there can be no room for a feeling of depression and certainly no room for a feeling of despondency, which can be nothing but destructive.
With regard to Item No. 1, in which you complain about lack of good health, it is no doubt largely due to the state of nervousness and depression you are in. I am sure that if you will try to correct this, which depends entirely on you, you will also find a considerable improvement in your health, and you will also be able to respond much better to the treatments which specialists give you.
The same applies to items No. 2, 3, and 4. If you will develop a more optimistic view on life, it will give you a more cheerful disposition, your job will not appear so difficult and tedious, and you will not feel so unhappy about it. This will also help you to get your suitable match in due course.
With regard to Item No. 5, concerning the ayin hara [evil eye], the best thing is to dismiss it from your mind and give a few cents every morning for tzedakah [charity] before the prayer of Shema.
Item No. 7, regarding psychiatric help. If you mean seeking psychiatric advice through a visit or two, and the psychiatrist in question is one who understands the atmosphere in the Jewish religious home, there can be no objection to it. However, I would not recommend that you undertake lengthy psychiatric treatment, since you yourself could do considerably more for yourself than any psychiatrist can do for you.
I have turned over your contribution to our Special Charity Fund, from which help is given anonymously to deserving cases, which is one of the highest forms of tzedakah, and I trust that it will add to your merits to become one which is happy with his lot and soon to see with your own eyes that you have good reasons to be happy.
With prayerful wishes and blessings,
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Thank you for sharing