It’s summertime. While many are enjoying the serenity of bungalow colonies or trips to the beach, some families here are silently drowning. I’m writing not for pity, but for change.
This is the reality for some of us:
A good man, not lazy, not irresponsible, has been unemployed for months. He’s trying. He sends resumes. He makes phone calls. He gets ghosted. Meanwhile, the rent is behind. The electricity bill is on a shut-off notice. Tuition is unpaid, and his son might not return to yeshiva in Elul.
His wife? She’s holding the family together with her bare hands. No cleaning help. No money for basic needs. She doesn’t dream of luxuries. She doesn’t want a cruise or new furniture. She wants her husband to have a job, and her kids to have clean clothes for school.
She wants to stop living in anxiety. She wants to be proud of her man. She wants to breathe again.
Their children? They never talk about family vacations. They sew ripped pants instead of buying new ones. Their school shoes are stretched beyond size. And their Shabbos clothes were donated — not that they know — because their mother wants to protect them from shame. The younger ones smile, unaware.
But the older ones… they know. They carry the burden quietly. They feel it when their friends come back from sleepaway camp with stories they don’t have. They know the difference. And they worry about their father, who sits at the table, physically present, emotionally gone.
Dear Crown Heights:
We don’t want a $100 yom tov package. We don’t want handouts. We want to earn. We want parnassah — with dignity.
As Chazal say (Nedarim 64b): “עני חשוב כמת” — A man without means is like one who is no longer living.
This is not just about income — it’s about survival, pride, and mental health. When a man cannot provide, the entire home begins to collapse from within.
So we’re asking from the heart: If you are a business owner, HR manager, recruiter, or just know someone hiring… Please help.
Share a job lead — even warehouse, driving, delivery, bookkeeping, assistant, or admin work on the COLlive Job Classifieds: https://collive.com/classifieds/categories/4/?pg=1
Share training opportunities or help connect someone with a trade in a WhatsApp group with others.
Share mentorship with someone you know because not everyone has the luxury of degrees or strong networks.
If you can’t offer work directly, please share this message. You never know who you may help.
Let’s be a community that lifts each other with real action.
We don’t need discourse. We need direction. We don’t need speeches. We need opportunities.
Thank you for giving us a voice.
With hope,
A wife and mother
This was very emotional to read. I went through this as a kid growing up it’s very difficult.
Well said, we are looking for dignity to chessed.
Thank you for sharing.
I know it must be hard.
I assure you a yeshua will come!!!!
I can’t relate to the family part because I’m not married yet. I’m 28 with a degree and a part time job. I can relate to the mental health issue of not earning. It’s almost shelo bederech hateva to not find work.
We see tzedaka stories all the time but this speaks to my heart. Looking for a different kind of contribution. לשבת יצרה. איש תחת גפנו.
Thank you — your words really meant a lot. You understood exactly the heart of what I was trying to say. It’s not just about money — it’s about the emotional toll of trying so hard and still feeling stuck. Your line “לשבת יצרה. איש תחת גפנו.” says it all.
May HaShem bless you to find your Zivug
Im so sorry to hear that this mother and wife is struggling and while its admirable that she does not want to take from others sometimes its okay to do so. That said My office has a person who assists with resume writing, job searches and any other needs to do with workforce preparation. We are located right in Crown Heights on Utica and ENY Avenue. We are part of Interborough (IDCC) but we assist with wrap around services such as Jobs, benifits and other services. This program is called Connect. She can reach out to me any time at… Read more »
Thank you for posting
Arna is a a powerhouse of good.
Is it free service or only for Medicaid recipients?
Connect is a free service for those who do not have insurance but we do help you get insurance.
I work for Lockheed Martin. I’m happy to refer you and your husband. Please leave a reply with a way to contact you.
Thank you for your kind and supportive comment here is my contact looking forward to connecting with you!
My email is [email protected]
Thanks again
Hi sorry mistake I didn’t write the article however we are in identical situation.
I thought I’ll throw my hat into the ring as well if this is still relevant. can be reached with prospective hiring positions at: [email protected].
Anchor Health is a fantastic big business that is constantly growing and always hiring more people. They have a bunch of positions available. 1718 537 2000 Hatzlocha Rabba!!!
How about start a business
U need some capital to start a business. Even a small one.
Starting a business is good for someone who already has a 9-5. Often you need a good cash flow to start and it takes a few years before you see the fruits of your labor. If you are interested in going that direction, reach out to the CHYE in Crown Heights https://www.chye.info/ They are excellent
Is helping someone have a job
We are having the same problem. My husband has a good resume, good qualifications and keeps getting ghosted. The reason is because of the new “shadchanim” job placement sites who are just as bad as the actual shadchanim. It used to be if you had a good resume you could land an interview. Now, we have all these gatekeepers deciding who is good enough to be interviewed for which company. What kind of suit are you wearing. What’s your social- economic status. Who are you friends with. And they are the ones that decide if they will pass on your… Read more »
Can he call the companies up directly and ask if they are looking to hire? Many of the companies are desperate for quality workers.
So many big companies have top-heavy “Human Resources” departments. You can’t just call somebody. You have to get past the automatic filters, AI, etc. it’s like a big game and you have to learn how to play. Doesn’t matter if you’re a good worker. It’s all about getting your uploaded resume past the gate keepers.
Sorry that isn’t accurate and just bad advice. Its a common theme going around these days that AI rejects your resume if you dont have key words in your resume. It simply isn’t true there are just so many applicants to go through each one.
What kind of job is your husband ready to do?
Is he ok trying most things?
Plumbers and electricians is honest work and gets paid well if he’s good with his hands. Teaching and tutoring pays decently if he’s good with people. Warehouse manager or similar if he’s good at arranging this, delegating and organization. These jobs are all desperate for workers. I called random stores on Kingston and asked if they are looking to hire entry jobs like delivery, sales etc… sometimes you need to start small to get in to a company and once they know you and like you you’ll have higher management and paying jobs available to you, or you can do… Read more »
He already has a family, it’s probably very hard to start in a small job with low pay and no guarantee to climb up, and having to do something a teenage can do with similar pay is not something nice.
It could be argued that it brings some mental clarity being able to work, but even that, it’s not that easy given their circumstances
Often one job leads to another.
Sitting home and waiting for the right job is not a good recipe for sholom bais, and bringing in some money is better than no money at all.
Much hatzlacha
Watching your tatty,who may be trained as an accountant or have other skills, scoop ice cream or deliver boxes is not dignified and it’s understandable that it’s not an appropriate job with any leverage to level up. While it makes be appropriate for someone who is sitting at home single people need to really understand the social implications of such a job (and saying we need to be less judgemental doesn’t change that situation)
I think there is no need to feel ashamed or resistant to scooping ice cream, regardless of what one’s talents or preferences are. It’s who the person I as, not what job he has. Of course lots of adults want to work at something that suits their talents or preferences, but sometimes the noble act is to do something that contributes to the household. All honest work is noble, by the way. I would respect and appreciate an honest respectful ice cream scooper rather than a ruthless or selfish higher paid person.
We are here to serve Hashem and not to keep ourselves comfortable. Sheishes yomim taavod. Especially if you already have a family to support. Why is it the wife writing this article? Many great tzaddikim and Ehrliche chasidim held ’embarrassing’ jobs and they did it with pride, accepting that this was Rotzon Haelyon. To work at whatever was available that didn’t compromise their torah values and supported their family.
It says in shulchan aruch, even a chasiv Rabbi should do menial labor instead of taking charity
Indeed true.
You are right, but unfortunately this is not the prevelant Lubavitch mindset. Which is a shame.
I’m not saying everyone in the frum world thinks and acts this way, but it’s much more common outside lubavitch. And the people are better off for it.
Who talked about being comfortable?
I was pointing out that do all these little jobs often doesn’t work for a husband with a large family.
My two cents
Why not get off the couch and start any available full time low paying jobs for now?
At least he’ll earn something, gain some knowledge, experience, contacts and resume. Got nothing to lose but everything to gain. Sometimes our expectations hold us back from just starting wherever and working towards a better goal
lots of etry level jobs dont view experienced people as an option, they often overlook qualified applicants thinking they wont stay.
So take what’s available
Even bus drivers?
Post office workers?
Accountants?
Depending on my age, I would even be ready to do garbage collection. Pays pretty well and builds muscles.
Cashier if all else fails.
Very hard to get without connections or a long process (Post Office, MTA, sanitation)We’re open to honest work — but it has to be realistic and livable. That’s why we’re asking for actual job leads, not just lists of jobs. If someone knows of a real opportunity with fair pay and dignity, we’d truly appreciate it.
Thanks again for caring — and may we all find stability and peace.
nyc sanitation has 32,000 applicants waiting for acceptance.
Well, my husband works incredibly hard at a so called well paying job and we are in the same boat as you thanks to the government rigging system and tuition. We can’t afford to buy food let alone anything else. But Hashem runs the world. Daven. And be proud of yourself for doing your very best and giving it all you’ve got.
Isn’t that why we’re created? To serve Hashem through whatever challenges get thrown our way. Sending love.
I know the feeling. Depression, anxiety,how will I make my next mortgage payment?
My age (over 65) doesn’t help either.
but what if some people want to help you at least a little for now, to help you get through this temporary rough patch?
B&h photo is hiring call great benefits and decent pay a great place to work
My neighbor has been there over 25 years and seems to do well
Socialism/communism sucks.
And that’s what ny has become.
Unaffordable no matter what you work.
moving out of NY, lower housing and expenses
In nice small cities there is higher unemployment rate
You should really look for a job outside new York.
I understand that there are those who are stuck here for a job, but in the absence of that..
You forgot something
Also, lower (in dome cases, much) pay and high tuition
Out of town
Transportation utilities food and tuition are usually higher.
And what if your husband is over 65, still physically fit and trained in a profession that “prefers not to invest in a new employee who will retire soon..”? My unemployed husband is happy to change career path and try something else–even at minimum wage, but potential employers say, “How could we only offer you minimum wage–you’re a __________(fill in any profession)!” My husband is willing to learn new skills, but those frum “traiing schools” won’t waste their resources on old folk….It’s not just about the Job Placement people making judgements, it’s also the employers being unwilling to think outside… Read more »
Just with younger kids. Life is so much harder without money, affects sholom bayis and so much. Please Hashem help us earn with dignity.
While I greatly feel for this family as a woman who recently spent several months unemployed, they would not be in nearly such dire circumstances if both parents had been working. Yes, it would still be mentally difficult for the husband, but at least they’d have some income in the meantime. Families where the woman doesn’t work at all by choice put themselves in a much more precarious situation than necessary. Maybe it’s time to get out of the mindset that parnassa is only for men.
Some jobs that are available to religious mothers are very often low pay. Take that plus Having small kids and having to spend more money to make arrangements for when not being home, like, baby sitters, transportation both to school and work, cooking and buying convinient food that costs more (lets be realistic here). The math doesn’t add up
This mother has always worked — maybe not in high-paying jobs, but in steady, behind-the-scenes roles: office help, secretarial jobs, and small community tasks in Crown Heights. She was laid off just before the summer and has been actively looking for new employment ever since. Her husband’s income used to be just enough to keep them afloat. But not anymore. And now, she’s doing everything she can to pivot — she went back to school, is working toward getting licensed, and is trying to build a real career that could sustain the family. But when there’s no income, no extended… Read more »
Sounds great
But who is raising the children?
Taking off when any of them get sick?
You end up cancelling half the year.
It’s against the natural order of creation for both parents to work full time.
Long term, the family unit weakens
I am in the same situation, and I have one son who relies on me for a roof over his head. I was almost evicted this month. I don’t remember what vacation or selfcare feels like. I empathize so much with this family. I live in South Florida and I’m desperate for a job. I’m in the middle of a career switch. If anyone in South Florida has any ideas please email me. Again this family is not alone, and people need to have love, kindness and empathy for them and so many others. Learning Shar Habitachon has been my… Read more »
When we were dating and had no idea where and how we would make a living – my husband told me that he’d do whatever he could to keep us safe. If he needed to stock shelves – he would.
This is honorable. This is what sold me.
Thankfully he hasn’t needed to go down that path but knowing that he’d do anything to provide for our family was extremely comforting.
Nothing is below no one.
The Baal Shem Tov was a wagon driver and would take children to school.
Yes, the Baal Shem Tov was a driver — but when he was a teacher, he didn’t charge $20K+ per child.
My husband also did car service — he worked hard. But in the summer, it dries up completely. It’s just not stable or sustainable when you have kids, tuition, and no backup. This isn’t about pride — it’s about survival.
HCBS through companies like prime path/yeled vyaldah?
Ohel in Flatbush is often looking to hire people as well for various jobs, check out their website.
BH
At least as much as the abundance
Your husband & you deserve!
But with all that was already Said & done would like to end with following line: זאג נישט דעם באשעפער ווי גרויס דיינע צורעס איז. אבער זאג דיינע צורעס ווי גרויס דער באשעפער איז.
Amen
Was reading Mayor Adams weekly newsletter tonight and found this link…
Thtere are a whole lot of job opportunites and training….https://cityjobs.nyc.gov/?emci=f3ac6928-1e64-f011-8dc9-6045bdfe8e9c&emdi=220458bf-2d64-f011-8dc9-6045bdfe8e9c&ceid=4039863. Click on and you can find lots of opportunites
You can sign up for the jobs newsletter to your inbox here https://jobs.nyc.gov/jobseekers/newsletter/
I work in City Job placement in an office called Business Link, which connects individuals with a large database of employers, and also hosts frequent recruiting events and job fairs. Submit a resume to [email protected]
Someone will contact you.