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Friday, 3 Adar, 5780
  |  February 28, 2020

Watch Those Kids in Shul

From the COLlive Inbox: "I see fathers bring their children to shul and let them run around and play outside for hours unattended. Am I the only one that sees a problem with this?" Full Story

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Mommy
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Mommy

It’s a ness that our kids are safe! What I see makes my sheitel turn grey. It’s a PARENT’S responsibility to watch his/her kids. If you don’t want to for whatever reason, keep your kids home with you or your spouse. Too bad if Mommy wants to sleep in Shabbos morning: if Tatty has to daven & can’t watch 2-year-old Chaimke at the same time, Chaimke stays home. Trust me, there’ll be plenty of Shabbosim Mommy can sleep in when the kids are grown.

single mom
Guest
single mom

Thank you 4 addressing this problem. Well written.

Wowww...
Guest
Wowww...

Very sad b/c of leiby we haveto b aware of such things. May we meritto c leiby right now with moshiach!

PROBLEM SOLVED:
Guest
PROBLEM SOLVED:

START A KOL YAAKOV YEHUDA!!!

Watching kids? Yes! Paranoia? No!
Guest
Watching kids? Yes! Paranoia? No!

Adults get mugged and killed every day too, unfortunately. Should we lock ourselves in our homes? (Where many dangerous accidents occur?) Of course we should keep an eye on our children, and kids running wild at shul is a problem for many reasons. A child who is not old enough to be careful when crossing the street (EVERY time) is not old enough to be crossing alone, or with a not-significantly older sibling. But that does not mean no child is old enough to walk to school without an adult, especially if they walk with a friend. Exactly how old… Read more »

amazing article!!!
Guest
amazing article!!!
Perfect timing
Guest
Perfect timing

I am sitting here feeling a bit left out because I refuse to send my little children to shule and so stay home with all of them all Shabbos and most yom tovs and Yom Kippur.The reason is because of SAFETY. I don’t trust them on their own and want my husband and older boys to daven uninterrupted. Thank you for this post.

to #4
Guest
to #4

For my senses, you are not being realistic. Although Hashem is the ultimate decision maker, I do not think that absolves us from our responsibility to provide protection and boundaries for our children. The fact is, there are things going on in our society that were not so prevalent in earlier years. One of those “things” is more frequent predatory behavior in public. The reality is that some innocent people do not take heed of this phenomenon. As a result, things go back to “normal” as in before poor Leiby, OBM. I do not think that is realistic. YOU might… Read more »

Only the tip of the ice berg...
Guest
Only the tip of the ice berg...

Move to Israel!My ex doesn’t believe in seat belts for people in cars . Any discipline for children is “abuse!” If children want something,I say,let them earn part of it.I’ve tried to start a child awareness safety program for Israeli schools like we had in America,and they tell me to pay for it myself.The Beit Knesset here is a ZOO!The kids can do whatever they want,because there is no one (except me)to speak out about their little cuties.Forget about talking about the gangsta children of shluchim ruining the chagim with pants around their knees, booze,cigarettes and their chutzpadik not tznius… Read more »

AS much a we like to think otherwise...
Guest
AS much a we like to think otherwise...

Our kids are not “ours”! They are on loan from the Aibeshter. If this is your attitude about child-raising, it is a privilege and not a right, your relationship with them is much more meaningful and you are less likely to do any of the behaviours mentioned above. I know because a change in attitude changed our family life for the better. (This works vise versa as well! My children know that Hashem has picked us to be their parents and it effects their behaviour for the positive! Baruch Hashem) May klal yisroel have a gementchte yor in all inyanim.

studies show age 11
Guest
studies show age 11

studies show that age 11 is the general developmental age at which the majority of kids can be trusted to have the appropriate motor skills to dodge a racing car in the street in time.
Therefore, before that age, no kid should be walking alone!
SImple as that..
we do trust in HaShem, but we have also been given a responsibility to guide and watch over our children.

bigger problem
Guest
bigger problem

what about the kids INSIDE shul, running around & disturbing everyone from davening, while their fathers do not get up to control them?

#11 Dodging skills?? Are you kidding me??#12-the fathers just don't care.
Guest
#11 Dodging skills?? Are you kidding me??#12-the fathers just don't care.

#11You cross at crosswalks slowly after looking and listening,so cars can see you. Never run.

Be carefull
Guest
Be carefull

I see every shabbos and yom tov this father com in with tons of kids ( the younges is as small as 1.5) and there all over the place no one watches over them, and every week I almost save a life ( one time taking a Lolly pop out of the 3 year olds mouth when the stick fell off….and the stories goes on…) and the worst part, the mother has a play group for kids……I don’t get it !!!

To # 5
Guest
To # 5

#8 was actually meant for you, not # 4, as I mistakenly indicated.

Mitzvah Tank
Guest
Mitzvah Tank

Yes this is a problem. Last Hannukah I got in a yelling match with another bachurim who said to let these young children on board that randomly came up to the tank. We were going out till 2am and there parents were not available to ask. I refused, and yet got criticised by several others for being new to the neighborhood and that is the way things go around here and that it is normal. If you think this is normal to let your young kids under 12 go on a random mitzvah tank of bochurim without your knowing, please… Read more »

age 8, 9, or 11
Guest
age 8, 9, or 11

I dont think you can pick a number. Every child is different. There are very responsible, savvy, street smart 8 yr. old kids and 12 yr olds that can easily be duped into following a stranger. My own children each start walking alone at a different age- depending on when he or she is ready. As for being physically weaker because they are younger- train them to fight (martial arts, that is). If you live in crown heights you should be doing that anyway. A 13 yr. old is also vulnerable to the “animals” and criminals here. So is a… Read more »

To #13
Guest
To #13

Nobody said there should be kids running around In the street, so that they should have to dodg a car!! But even if you cross at cross walks, chances are, no matter how carefull you are, there is always a possibility of a situation, a careless driver! A car pulling out of a parking lot! A out of view car etc. The posibbiltys are endless…. And that’s even if you cross at the cross walks CAREFULLY #11 is right (idk about the age but the fact) that until children are able to sense when there is danger, when to JUMP… Read more »

by the way
Guest
by the way

its not only strangers that we cant trust rather to our sorrow it could be anyone

My kids learned karate at 5 years of age.
Guest
My kids learned karate at 5 years of age.

My 13 year old boy saw two big guys hassling and picking on an old guy on a bench last week. They refused to stop throwing rocks and taunting him.My son took one of them down quickly,and the other fled.I was proud.His twin sister hits harder than he does,trust me I know.My son said “Abba,pretend you have a knife (I used a pencil) and come at me. He knocked it out in a flash! Wow! My 11 year old son also knows how to defend himself,but only uses it defensively.. To the contrary,they are confident and sweet kids.-db

thank you
Guest
thank you

very good article. spot on!

wow
Guest
wow

absolutly beautiful article……….. EVERYONE needs to take warning of this…. I still have nightmares of this summer and what happened….. I see kids walking around CH who should not be walking alone, it terrifies me to no end….. even walking to the corner to get milk alone is no good…. who knows who can stop a car and tear the kid off the street,,,, don’t let it be your child…. I knoe the “Rule ” is that H’shem will watch over BUT>>> there are enough weirdos out there that are fast…. WHY test the waters? watch your children…. and the… Read more »

A Valuable Lesson!
Guest
A Valuable Lesson!

This piece(s) of info about safety for [young especially] children is very valuable. (i’m a child myself.)

to #13
Guest
to #13

I am saying that a kid of 11 years old can react to a racing car that goes out of control or unpredictably drives as the kid is trying to cross properly. This is a skill a person must have to be able to go in the street on his/her own, without holding the hand of an adult that can do this.

#20
Guest
#20

cool story bro

Article has a name at the bottom!
Guest
Article has a name at the bottom!

A well written article with an author who is proud of what he is saying so he does not sign anonymous! Kol hakavod! If only all the other writer’s would follow your example!

Wonderful Article
Guest
Wonderful Article

Just this week my siblings and neghbors were playing outside, riding their bikes and scooters, when a black BMW drives up to them with 4 teenagers inside and they start cursing the kids and told one of them to come in their car. My siblings ran to get my parents and my neighbors ran to get their parents. When the teens saw all our parents come out and one of them holding a phone about to dial 911, they zoomed off. It was trametizing for the little ones.

i strongly believe.....
Guest
i strongly believe.....

i strongly feel that parents cant come to shul and let their kids run outside. DO NOT BRING THEM TO SHUL. let them have a friend over and run around in your backyard or house. and i also feel that mothers with kids do not belong in shul. because the mother is trying to daven while the kids are screeching. so the mother has no choice but to shoo them outside. (this is almost like neglecting children.) thank you for bringing it to everyones attention!!!!!!

Yes, we must be careful, but
Guest
Yes, we must be careful, but

how many people walking the streets of Brooklyn are prone to be Leiby’s attacker? We should be careful but let’s not scare or traumatize our kids.

Get a life!
Guest
Get a life!

Do u have to argue or share ur lifestory with us? Just make sure kids are safe, end of story(leiby was 9 btw)

To #30
Guest
To #30

Nobody asked you to read, let alone comment

to # 4
Guest
to # 4

very wise

kids at 770 and all shuls
Guest
kids at 770 and all shuls

There should be paid people to watch and daven with kids of all ages at 770 and other shuls. The kids shouldn’t be allowed to leave until picked up by their fathers. If the father wants to daven longer, he should arrange for someone responsible who he knows to take his children home.

new plan needed
Guest
new plan needed

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it; if it is broke, fix it. How about a good look into what is actually going on in shul. How about coming up with a plan to deal with unpleasantness or problems. I’m sure with the amount of intelligence among you, you can come up with suggestions and specific follow-through. I think #33 has some good thoughts about the situation. How about you start there. Who wants to take the first step to organize something? (I would, but I don’t live among you.)

thanks
Guest
thanks

from now on i will do that i am 12 from when i was a kid i almost got kiddnapped

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