By Mayer Fertig – The Jewish Star
After years of talk about a tuition crisis, many families that scrimped and sacrificed to send children to yeshiva in the past have hit a financial wall.
“Many children will end up in public school as a result of all this,” said Rabbi Shneur Wolowik, director of Chabad of the Five Towns. He says he is inundated with calls for help from parents who simply have run out of options.
“Parents have to choose between having a home foreclosed on or having a Jewish education. It’s a very tough decision,” he acknowledged.
An email he received this week from a woman in the Five Towns outlined her situation: “They have two children, she’s pregnant with a third, they’ve all but canceled the babysitter, have two old cars and a very simple home. She said it’s either tuition or their home and they can’t be homeless. She did the numbers with me and, unfortunately, she’s right.”
The children are now registered in public school.
The mother of a 17 year-old girl told The Jewish Star, “I registered my daughter in public school yesterday… I can’t begin to tell you what that moment was. It was horrific.”
The girl, who lives with her mother in the Five Towns, had gone to yeshiva her whole life. Her father, who is legally obligated to pay tuition according to the terms of a divorce decree, nonetheless elected to stop paying just before her senior year in high school and her mother lacked the means to pay it alone. Yeshiva officials insisted that the tuition must be paid anyway.
“I really understood their point of view,” the mother said , “but there has to be a way.”
In this case, there was.
“When I told my parents I’m not fighting this anymore, I’m just putting [their granddaughter] in public school, they hit the roof,” the mother related.
Her parents “called in all their trump cards,” and exerted enough pressure that the school reversed its decision. An attorney friend will represent the mother at trial to try to force her ex-husband to pay up.
“What if someone doesn’t have the kind of family I have, who can hustle and bustle and make miracles?” she wondered. “I love my children but they’re not worth more than somebody else’s.”
“Rabbi Wolowik described approaching a man on behalf of a family in tuition crisis, who already pays his own hefty tuition bill. The man took out a home equity loan in order to help.”
Most schools contacted by The Jewish Star said they did not know of any students who would attend public school on account of a family’s inability to pay tuition.
Hebrew Academy of Nassau County (HANC) expects “to have a school full of children for this coming year, despite these tough times,” said President Lillian Borofsky. Any family that requires assistance would receive it, she said.
“That’s always been the policy and I would imagine it’s always been the policy in most yeshivot. I mean, come on, that’s the business we’re in.”
But it seems clear that some parents whose backs are to the wall financially are being forced to make nearly impossible decisions.
“I have seen families decide which children are going to remain in yeshiva based on age group,” said Mark Honigsfeld, co-president of Hebrew Academy of Five Towns and Rockaway (HAFTR). “There has been an emphasis on grade school and middle. Parents say, ‘I need my kid to have a foundation.’ You can educate two lower school kids for the price of one high school kid. You get more bang for your buck.”
HAFTR is facing “desperate situations” that in previous years were solved by fund raising. “In the past there were always a couple of families who quietly, lishma [for its own sake], said, ‘O.K., I’ll take care of it,” he said. Now, “it’s like the perfect storm.” Families that always paid full tuition and contributed to the scholarship campaign themselves have lost jobs and are struggling.
“We must take care of those families first,” Honigsfeld said firmly. “Difficult decisions that have never had to be made by the past two generations by HAFTR, on the finance side, must be made. We are, in essence, playing G-d: who is going to stay and who is going to go.”
He couldn’t quantify how many children who otherwise might have attended HAFTR or other yeshivas would instead attend public school, but Honigsfeld said HAFTR is examining the possibility of opening an afternoon Judaic studies program.
“It used to be called Talmud Torah,” he said, referring to the after-school learning program that educated generations of Jews before the advent of yeshivas and day-schools. “We’re exploring it. I don’t know if there’s a need for it. We’ve heard from other yeshivas that they are experiencing similar situations and, although I don’t have direct knowledge from other schools of families that have left, we’ll know in September.” If there’s a true need then a HAFTR afternoon program could be pulled together to begin right after the holidays, he said.
In Merrick, an Orthodox shul, Congregation Ohav Shalom, has operated an afternoon Judaic studies program for many years to service families in the community that send their children to public school. This year more than a dozen new students from the Five Towns, and at least one from West Hempstead — most were yeshiva students — plan to attend.
“Every parent that speaks to me, I tell them, your kid belongs in Yeshiva,” said Dr. Mel Isaacs, the principal of Ohav Shalom’s after-school program, and the former director of education for HANC. “It’s very disheartening that they’re taking them out. On the other hand, you have to provide a service. The kids can’t go into a vacuum. It’s my hope that as soon as this financial crisis winds down they’re going to put their kids back in [yeshiva].”
In the meantime, Isaacs, a Long Beach resident whose after-school program stresses helping children “feel good about their Jewish-ness,” plans to supplement the regular curriculum of Siddur study and the weekly Torah portion. Students newly transferred from yeshivas will be taught Chumash on grade level; fifth and sixth graders will learn Mishna. The school will also participate in the Chidon Tanach competition as it used to do many years ago; once the school fielded a winner who went on to compete in Israel.
Several Orthodox families spoke to The Jewish Star about their experiences sending children to public school instead of yeshiva.
“It was a really difficult decision,” said the mother of a 4-year-old boy who required occupational, physical and speech therapies. “We were on the fence pretty much until the day before school started. We enrolled him in both places.”
Her older children are in yeshiva but she was afraid her 4-year-old would “slip through the cracks” in a yeshiva pre-school. She had planned to send him to public school for just one year; he’s registered in yeshiva for September.
A Long Beach family with nine children that moved from Los Angeles in 1994 placed two of the children in public school to obtain special ed services, explained their mother, Debbie Wapniak, in an interview. The older one, now 25, is a married mother of two with a Masters degree in special education; and her brother, 22, attends college and is studying for semicha at Yeshiva Shor Yoshuv in Lawrence.
“I got him tutors in Hebrew. It’s not like he didn’t learn. He was bar mitzvah-ed; we’re shomer Shabbos,” Wapniak said. “But we had to teach him at home until he was able to get a chavrusa [study partner]. There was no Talmud Torah for him to go to. That really ticked me off. There should be a Talmud Torah for kids who can’t go to yeshiva.”
Elaine and Marty Wiener of Woodmere hosted an open house last week for families to learn about the after-school program in Merrick. They were preparing to marry off their daughter Allyson on Tuesday, a day after Elaine spoke briefly with a reporter.
“This is not in lieu of yeshiva,” she stressed. “These are the kids who are forced to go into public school either because of financial reasons or learning reasons.”
“When you’re in a financial bind and your back is against the wall are you going to send your kids to yeshiva or are you going to put chicken on the Shabbos table?” she asked.
The Lawrence school district was “accommodating,” she stressed, rescheduling school events away from Friday nights and providing kosher food, but she also described being in a “no-man’s land.”
“In the Orthodox world we’re looked down upon because ‘How could you take your kids out of yeshiva?’ and in the public school world our kids are wearing tzniusdik [modest] clothing and don’t participate in after-school Friday night programs.”
This year her 10-year-old daughter, Julia, is going into the Lawrence Middle School; her twin 17-year old sons, Charlie and Jeremy, will be seniors at Lawrence High School. Both boys plan to go to Israel next year.
“My biggest fear,” Wiener said, “is that my [younger] daughter didn’t have the chance to have any kind of Jewish education.” She will attend the after-school program in Merrick.
Her older daughter, Allyson, attended HAFTR and HALB but graduated from Lawrence High School after the family suffered severe financial problems. She remained active in NCSY and studied in Israel, “and she came home so to the right,” Wiener said, sounding amused.
“People shouldn’t be afraid,” to send a child to public school, she said, “if they have done the right job in their home … and Allyson is an example of that.”
Rabbi Wolowik was less optimistic.
“There are very few children who will walk out of a public school setting being Shomer Torah and Mitzvos,” he said. “You can’t kid yourself. There is nothing in a public school for a Jewish child.”
“No child likes to go to two schools in one day,” he added. “Some children resent going to one school. At the end of a long day, to start doing Judaic studies — it’s not going to work for long.”
The mother whose high school-aged daughter was accepted back to yeshiva at a reduced tuition agreed: “It’s so hard to keep them on track as it is, in our frum environment — and we have problems too. To put them in [public school in] an environment that would lead them to completely leave frumkeit (Torah observance), for a dollar? They have Bikur Cholim and Hatzalah — there should be just as big a benefit, that big a charity, for tuition, when it’s just as important,” she insisted. In public school, “You’re just setting them up, and you can’t tell me that a frum Jewish soul is worth risking, for money.”
“I look at it as a matter of spiritual life and death, chas v’shalom,” Rabbi Wolowik said. “And it’s not only the parents’ responsibility to give their children a Jewish education. It’s the community’s responsibility to give children a Jewish education. Because the Halacha is even if I have no children to pay tuition for, and let the yeshiva close from my perspective, I have my personal obligation to make sure that every yeshiva stays open and gives an education to every Jewish child.”
He described approaching a man on behalf of a family in tuition crisis, who already pays his own hefty tuition bill. The man took out a home equity loan in order to help, Rabbi Wolowik said.
“This is a cry and a plea to those who have [resources],” Rabbi Wolowik said, “to come over to their rabbis. And if they don’t know a rabbi they can call Chabad [of the Five Towns at 516-295-2478] and I will direct them to a rabbi or a family that is in need of tuition help. Make checks payable to Chabad’s charity fund and 100 percent of the money will go directly to help pay tuitions. For that matter, if they wish, they can direct it to a Jewish institution of their choice.”
“We are all into kiruv, kiruv, kiruv,” Rabbi Wolowik added. “We also have to make sure we hold onto those we already have — those who are getting lost because we don’t have the funds for Jewish education. If we don’t want this child to marry out tomorrow, we have to get them a Jewish education today.”
Ut ut kumt Moshiach!! The wheels are starting to roll! Come on guys, let”s join together and get the tution machines rolling!!! brocha vhatzlocha
I’m comment 21, I have been thinking about it alot since I read your comment and I think a couple of sincere people can achieve more than one would think possible. We (some of the parents who are actually experiencing this very severe problem here in CH) have to sit down together and plan an actual course of action in keeping with what you said & in your well chosen words “Lubavitch has done miracles with 25-30 year olds building shuls, schools and multi-million dollar buildings all over the world. Allow them to take over Crown Heights” It is the… Read more »
Not all of us are blessed with the skill of articulation. So thank you #15 for taking the time to comment & verbalize what needs to be said, & highlighted .
When your head shliach charges you more than the “other” schools there is a problem. And yes he still is behind the school… Don’t kid yourself.
Great chinuch, you can live in OUR land that Hashem gave us, less crime, less robbery, rape, murder, and with more frum Jews here there will be more representation in government for frum Jews…
Three fold issue in Extremely challenging times, Parnosoh/Tuition: Firstly, there are many of anash who have lost thier jobs, taken salary cuts to hold onto existing positions, in addition we have many already underpaid teachers, not being paid on time…etc… The highest level of Tzedaka is assisting one in retaining his parnasah or obtaining a means for parnasah, and helping one find a job… However not necessarily does a job translate into being able to afford, rising rent costs, never mind the unattainable fantasy of home ownership at all, and barely a possibility to pay rising tuition costs justified or… Read more »
WELL SAID!!! Clearly the administrators are not doing such a fabulous job or the schools wouldn’t be in such bad shape. This begs the question – what in the world justifies the kind of money they are taking as salary? In the real world, when a company is failing it’s management is replaced. And if they are not replaced, you end up with some of the circuses America has been watching in the past year. And to anyone that would like to claim the administrators are not taking too much money, please explain how they are able to live the… Read more »
i my self canot contiue to have children with tuition for three at 33g after a break its 19g i know that i have a chisoron in my emunah , not like my parents that had many children. but many years after we have all left and married my parents in the late 60s are still geting billed for the tuition payments. i will do all i can to not let that happen to me.
i wish i could have the brocha of more kids but sorry 2 say i cant afford it.
I will be realistic. In days of old nobody was turned down for lack of tuition. In ULY the Rashag would travel all the time raising funds. He also employed a full staff to help him raise funds. Namely Rabbi Wineberg, Rabbi Teleshevsky, even Rabbi Tenenbaum would use his vacation days in the summer to raise funds. Rabbi Korenblit and Rabbi Katz were all raising funds for the Yeshiva. Who is fundraising for ULY today? Yes there is a so called Hanholo that is sitting on millions of dollars and are using it for all of their pet causes except… Read more »
Before you get all upset let me give you some facts. The “head Shliach” doesn’t run the school anymore his son in law quit and they dumped it on Rabbi Yiftach. They did subsidize it for many years but now they are broke as well. As far as you niece… some shluchim in CA live very well; 2 new cars, large house, pool, great vacations etc. Why should the school give them a break?
I understand fully, My house is already in foreclosing but I will never put my children in Public Schools. Our neshamos are here to do their job. Also, if you live in 5 towns, even if you have a small house you dont pay less than 8000 real estate taxes a year plus other costs. If I lose my house in the end I will rent somewhere and continue negotiating tuition. H’ will help. It is a matter of priorities. HAFTER tuition is 20,000 a year per child. Even with all the crisis this is not normal. Yeshivos are suffering,… Read more »
the jewish community has it wrong
imagine this question will be asked in front of all our Kedoshim in Russia who gave their life for chinuch
Well maybe a Chinuch in Five towns, home or Chinuch is a choice
but by us , we pay for Chjnuch first and then we go out and collect for our shelter
lets get our priorities strait
its not fair if public school is being governer funded then so should yeshivos. how r we supposed to be fruitful and multiply when we cant afford to support our kids.
Not Sustainable, there will have to be significant deflation.
To #6. The Quebec government only pays for secular education. The limudei kodesh portion has to be paid by the parents. In the yeshiva very few people go to secular & very few people pay full tuition so the yeshiva has a financial problem. Even in Beis Rivka were everyone goes to secular you still have a financial problem because many parents can not afford to pay the full cost of the limudei kodesh program, But we do have $7 a day day care, free medicare, monthly child allowance for each child, parental leave after the birth of a chils… Read more »
Yeshivas are also suffering financially;they have enormous expenses, so do not fault them.
THis is the first time in my lubavitch upbringing that Im hearing a sound, sane, and true voice. We go through our entire careers doing what we do without realizing the heart of the matter. poeple simply dont have the money.
in quebec canada the gov’t pays for the yeshiva’s so tuition is a non issue and they also pay you money every time you have a child. montreal has a large jewish community
Beis Chaya Mushka in L.A. is charging $9,000 per child for Shluchim!!!! tHIS IS CRAZY. I hear alot of Shluchim are keeping their kids home this year. I have a niece on Shlichus there and she’s crying that her head Shliach is choking them with tuition ( 4 girls=$36,000!)
Jews need to come home to Israel, it is where you belong. Tuition is almost free here and so is the rest of the cost of living.
we need people to help with tis rather then run donate buildings in eretz yisroel and elsewhere
Do u really think that’s why the price for tuition went up maybe expenses have gone up in the Past 15 years and why should the moised suffer and charge u nothing why should they have to hassle ur neighbor to pay ur tuition
Unfortunately, they don’t. While the Rebbe was living, Lubavitch yeshivas cost little or nothing. Now they cost more than other frum schools (and other frum schools have much better scholarship options).