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Thursday, 29 Nisan, 5786
  |  April 16, 2026

To 12th Grade Students From a Seminary Principal

From the COLlive inbox: A principal of a Chabad girls seminary, who asked to remain anonymous, writes an open letter to 12th grade students. Full Story

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BH
March 26, 2026 10:31 pm

It’s horrible that seminary has power to hurt these young children in such a devastating way.

question about forbidden speech
Reply to  BH
March 27, 2026 8:16 am

wouldnt it be forbidden for her to say “do not call us, email us” when she doesn’t even say who she is so therefore she is thus unintentionally prohibiting everyone from calling ANY seminary which should be forbidden?

Do like bachurim
Reply to  BH
March 27, 2026 9:36 am

Doesn’t the hanhala of the current yeshiva decide the shlichus for the upcoming year? Maybe it should be the high schools that take responsibility for seminary placements. Not the seminaries choosing. This way every girl should be placed in a place that’s befitting for her without all the agony of applications and rejections.

Pricing should be lowered
March 26, 2026 10:33 pm

Does your heart feel heavy when you charge an astronomical amount for the seminary year?

It’s really not that insane
Reply to  Pricing should be lowered
March 26, 2026 10:36 pm

People pay WAY more for university. Like $50k a year for the good ones

not really
Reply to  It’s really not that insane
March 26, 2026 11:12 pm

they get scholarship and local government grants.

Money
Reply to  not really
March 27, 2026 5:55 pm

That only pays off 1-2 k out of 30k

Not the local CUNYS
Reply to  It’s really not that insane
March 26, 2026 11:28 pm

Not the local CUNYS

Lol
Reply to  It’s really not that insane
March 26, 2026 11:33 pm

And they walk out with a degree or credits towards one. I feel like there is going to be an argument about getting college credits from some seminary programs. As someone who did do this: 1) They literally make it hard on purpose to transfer your credits once you leave seminary, because C”V you go to college. 2) I was also shamed for arranging my credits while in seminary, basically saying I didn’t have the correct mindset of the spiritual side of being in seminary. I literally was arranging them because I was informed by others that they make it… Read more »

Fyi
Reply to  Lol
March 27, 2026 4:43 am

Some seminaries partner with a (Jewish) college, as it helps the students get some funding, and then the credits are easy to get.

I am aware
Reply to  Fyi
March 27, 2026 1:33 pm

I wrote this as someone who went to a Jewish college program. They still didn’t take all the seminary credits I had.

Plus it’s legitimately not helpful at all for people pursuing STEM, as they have so many credits from all their other courses they’ll be taking. They don’t need the additional “fluff” credits from seminary.

I got my credits
Reply to  Lol
March 29, 2026 11:04 pm

I went to seminary and then used quite a few for college. They were very nice and accommodating and no one shamed me. Sorry you had that experience, BH that’s not same for everyone.

Unironically university is cheaper
Reply to  It’s really not that insane
March 27, 2026 12:26 am

Most universities has a cheaper rate per year and at the end you are going to have a degree that can open doors for the Parnosah … what is the seminary for? Why 12 years of school is not enough, today we have many colleges that are Jewish colleges and Jewish programs

Value
Reply to  Unironically university is cheaper
March 27, 2026 4:54 am

Seminary was never supposed to be the same as college or high school. Do you have sheychus to anyone at this stage? BH, there are so many exciting, complicated, sensitive, areas that girls in this stage are figuring out. It’s their time to focus on figuring out who they want to be, make all kinds of choices, build confidence, etc. It’s ok if someone doesn’t go! Not everone has the same needs, wants, and circumstances. However, there is value to it for many.

we do not follow
Reply to  It’s really not that insane
March 27, 2026 8:17 am

the ways of the goyim
and those universities are way different anyway including their costs to operate

What structure?
March 26, 2026 10:39 pm

What exactly is structured every 3rd week off and do what you want?

Hmm
March 26, 2026 10:48 pm

Its a nice sensitive letter.
Why wouldn’t you sign your name ?

To the seminaries
March 26, 2026 10:49 pm

How heavy is your heart when you charge close to $30,000 which does not include the apartment rebtal, nor does it include the “registration fee”. Of course, the parents still need to pay for tickets and daughter’s personal expenses. Not to mention, when the food is not up to par, the girl needs to go out and purchase food. Does anybody take into consideration the effect this has on the less rich families, who are left with making the choice between subjecting their daughter to being different than her friends, and to lose out, or to come up with money… Read more »

Very true
Reply to  To the seminaries
March 26, 2026 11:13 pm

Very true. It is disgusting. They will have alot to answer to in shamayim

Confused
Reply to  Very true
March 27, 2026 9:34 am

What’s with all the rude nasty comments here? All she’s trying to say is that u shouldn’t have to stress abt getting in places bc of Peer pressure and didn’t even talk abt the money Also the amount of money they charge is to keep the building standing and provide parnasa for teachers who act teach ur children! Whether or not ur child goes to class is ur own issue and deal with her But if they lower the price they won’t be able to take care of ur Child properly because they won’t have enough money to pay for… Read more »

What?!
Reply to  To the seminaries
March 26, 2026 11:15 pm

Seminary is really 30,000?

No it’s not
Reply to  What?!
March 26, 2026 11:30 pm

It’s $22,000

Cost
Reply to  No it’s not
March 26, 2026 11:41 pm

No, it’s between 24,500 to 26,500, plus airfare, many off Shabbosim, and one needs to purchase water always and food sometimes.

Some are cloth to $40K and add tickets, cloth food
Reply to  No it’s not
March 27, 2026 12:29 am

It’s very expensive way to spend before the Chasunah and degree… at least give BA rabbinical degree or else.. why don’t you care how those young women will support themselves after the seminary graduation …

You wish
Reply to  No it’s not
March 27, 2026 12:34 am

Which sem is $22,000??! Registration fee is $150 and for anyone that doesn’t live in crown heights they must travel in for the interview and test that is an expense if its own then you get accepted and tuition is minimum $24,000 and scholarships if you can get give you like 5-7k off then you must pay for flights and all the new stuff to buy for a full year away and usually a whole new wardrobe cuz who owns button down shirts with collars and then there’s dorm fee and buying food everyday cuz the food in sem is… Read more »

US$
Reply to  No it’s not
March 27, 2026 9:20 am

When you need to convert that amount to Can$ or Aus$, it comes out to be a lot more than $30 000!!!

Think about the Aussies
Reply to  US$
March 28, 2026 6:21 am

Who cares what it costs to in Australian if you live in us dollars and are charged in us dollars. Think about us Australians who are charge in USD. Everything is 1.5 times the price for us! And are airfares are a lot more expensive coming from so far

Sadly
Reply to  No it’s not
March 27, 2026 11:20 am

Sadly you are behind in current events. Check again.

A THOUGHT
Reply to  To the seminaries
March 26, 2026 11:31 pm

Many middle class families do not benefit from the myriad of government benefits mentioned . Housing is also very expensive in CH
.

lol the ps
March 26, 2026 10:49 pm

That’s how they work once your daughter gets accepted too

The whole system has to be rethought by heads in c
March 26, 2026 10:51 pm

Everyone in leading chinuch positions must sit down and rethink this system
How can we make it work better for everyone’s emotional physical spirituality and financial health

Agree!
Reply to  The whole system has to be rethought by heads in c
March 27, 2026 11:44 am

Time to come up with creative solutions. Yes, it is a great experience, but the seminaries need to take more responsibility for feeding the girls, etc.
Some non Chabad schools have a half year in Israel, half year back home in the US.

Someone needs help
March 26, 2026 11:18 pm

Whoever penned this article needs some serious mental help. There is no other way to put it.

Agree 100%
Reply to  Someone needs help
March 27, 2026 8:46 am

100%!

Evaluating the Right Learning Environment
March 26, 2026 11:26 pm

If a student has struggled to engage in high school, whether through frequent absences, limited participation, or difficulty meeting academic standards .It may suggest that this particular school is not the right fit at this time. However, these challenges may also reflect an environment that was not supportive. The student could have faced bullying from peers or had a Morah with whom it was difficult to connect. She may very well be a yiras Shamayim student who would thrive with a change in setting, allowing her to function at her best. I agree this system needs a complete overhall

Maybe this is why you have a seminary
Reply to  Evaluating the Right Learning Environment
March 27, 2026 9:40 am

Maybe the reason why you have a seminary in the first class is to support these girls if you’re only taking top-tier people what’s huge accomplishment these people would be good without your seminary.

Agreed
Reply to  Maybe this is why you have a seminary
March 27, 2026 10:43 am

Honestly this explains why I wasn’t accepted to this seminary (If it’s the one we are all thinking of). Girls with worse grades and reputations got in but my principal thought I was a good for nothing and took it on herself to tell me that often. Makes sense now if they actually do go through the list of girls with the principals, especially since once I wasn’t accepted she was very quick to give me a list of seminaries she thought were the right place for me. Even though I clearly wanted to spend the year with my friends.

On anonymity
March 26, 2026 11:42 pm

I will revel in the hypocrisy of this anonymous comment. But this letter is meaningless without a name to back this statement.

It’s easy to look through name after name and break heart after heart. But being scared of the pushback from that, so you published this letter anonymously (maybe to make yourself feel better for what you’re putting these girls through?) feels very cowardly. If you’re worried about getting hate from those who you hurt, you should reflect on the practices that you are participating in, instead of trying to protect yourself.

We all know who it is
Reply to  On anonymity
March 27, 2026 10:44 am

If this isn’t Chitrik telling everyone to stop trying to push their kids in I’ll eat my hat

Not enough solid seminaries
March 26, 2026 11:44 pm

The problem is there are not enough solid seminaries. Its 2 extremes academic or hashkafically struggling.

Actually
Reply to  Not enough solid seminaries
March 27, 2026 10:46 am

I know someone in Austria this year- it’s a really good balance. So is Beis Rivkah and Prague. But yeah the Israeli seminaries are…special.

You get why
March 27, 2026 12:06 am

This article was written. Our Girls are going through it rn

Emotional Maturity
Reply to  You get why
March 27, 2026 12:39 am

Is important in this situation.

what do you offer for $30K or even more?
March 27, 2026 12:23 am

Today I received a rejection letter—but our child’s name was left blank. That alone makes it clear that our application was not properly reviewed. This is not just an oversight; it reflects a complete lack of attention and respect for the process.

At a cost of $30,000, I would expect a minimum level of professionalism. Frankly, for that amount, I could send my child to earn both a BA and a Master’s degree. It raises a serious question about the value being offered—and why such a program should even be considered.

Lubavitch is like a country club…
Reply to  what do you offer for $30K or even more?
March 27, 2026 4:30 pm

…the richer you are, the better it is…

The accepting system is messed up
March 27, 2026 12:36 am

How are they accepting not the best girls and rejecting such amazing girls it doesn’t make sense someone explain how they accept people what do they consider if a girl is so perfect how does she not get in to any sem?!!

Why do you charge $22-35K
March 27, 2026 12:45 am

Hebrew University in Jerusalem tuition plus nice room in a dorm boarding is around 35,000 shekels per year, add food for 1 child it’s not very much expensive, so why seminary charges us nearly 100,000 shekels?
Let’s get a honest answers, we need transparency

On shabbos kiddush is made on wine
March 27, 2026 2:44 am

Even a chosid of 75 years old should not make kiddush on Mashke.

Seminary?????
March 27, 2026 5:10 am

The emperor has no clothes. It’s just a huge money making business. You have a choice to buy into this. There are plenty of shiurim available for everyone to continue learning. Support those. It’s a lot cheaper.

I SO AGREE!!!!
Reply to  Seminary?????
March 30, 2026 1:05 am

seminary is not for everyone! hellooooo! it’s such a peer pressure, and it’s your choice whether to give into it or not. there are many many chabad houses looking for young girls to help with their shlichus! that’s another amazing option for the first year out of high school; you’re taken care of, yet you’re also independent to a certain extent, its super fulfilling, you learn A LOT- and through firsthand experience- not just sitting in class taking notes on technical situations, and most of all you’re helping shluchim who desperately need it. so yeah, to all my fellow girls… Read more »

Seminary is a choice
March 27, 2026 5:21 am

I find it deeply disheartening that a letter written with sincere and positive intent has been met with such strong negativity. Seminary is, ultimately, a choice. If the structure or approach does not align with your expectations, then it may simply not be the right fit for your child, and that is perfectly valid. It’s important to recognize that seminaries operate under significant financial and logistical pressures while striving to provide a structured and meaningful educational experience. Five of my own daughters attended different seminaries in Israel, and each one found it to be a positive and enriching period of… Read more »

Make more seminaries
March 27, 2026 7:16 am

Also make online free seminaries
No girl should ever be rejected from all

Email not call?
March 27, 2026 7:16 am

? People can do what they want?

chabad.org i want you to create a free
March 27, 2026 8:18 am

online seminary.

i always hated participating
March 27, 2026 8:47 am

dont ever grade someone for participating
thats stupid
some people are just quiet

Ivy League
Reply to  i always hated participating
March 27, 2026 5:59 pm

Colleges often look for signs that the person is involved with worthwhile endeavors.

attendance?
March 27, 2026 8:47 am

lots of valid reasons why someone might have a bad attendance rate

secular topics
March 27, 2026 8:48 am

can someone please confirm no girls are learning secular topics in their schools? because they don’t need to learn that garbage.

Heartless & faceless
March 27, 2026 8:51 am

2 rejection letters! Wishing us “well” in finding a suitable chassidish option. Time for these principals to get off their high horse. Stop picking by last name! Look at the girl – whom you now embarrassed and hurt. You’re all so smart, knowledgeable and wise, review what the Torah says about someone who hurts and embarrasses a person. Passing up true diamonds for what??? Fancier last names? The pretence of churning out the most chassidish girls – here’s your wake up call; many of your top girls are partying g in clubs at night, getting drunk in their rooms …… Read more »

Money and yichus
March 27, 2026 9:01 am

These are also part of the decision-making process. I also believe girls are made to think that their seminary acceptance is a make-or-break life changing event. It’s not. Not all of my daughters went to choice #1,and did well wherever they went. They also married, even without the top seminary on their resumes.

I agree
Reply to  Money and yichus
March 29, 2026 11:46 pm

There are probably loads of girls who went to less prestigious seminaries who were very successful in life and unfortunately there were those who came from top seminaries and struggled later on. It’s not indicative of anything and shouldn’t be treated as such.

Seminary
March 27, 2026 9:24 am

As long as us students pay to the Israeli seminaries astronomical amount of money – they are extremely happy

put into perspective
March 27, 2026 9:28 am

lots of people are still single which is incomparably worse than not getting to go to 1 specific sem for 1 year of their life. you all need to solve the shidduch crisis and it’s way more important than most of the other topics.

Actually
Reply to  put into perspective
March 27, 2026 10:17 am

A bad seminary experience at a pivotal time and age in my life had a very negative impact on me and my personality and thats right before shidduch dating.

Sheminary is an important time
Reply to  Actually
March 27, 2026 2:27 pm

To grow. Not just Bgashmius but also Bruchnius, emotionally, socially, etc.

In some other circles
March 27, 2026 11:00 am

They have a system that ensures that each girl gets accepted to at least one seminary

"If a student struggled to engage in high school."
March 27, 2026 11:18 am

It’s ridiculous the letter says they overlook applicants who have frequent absences and are weak in academics! So many girls who are top students with wonderful attendance and Middos get rejected. And the weak students get in. So this is all lies! (Maybe they get in because they have money or connections, which absolutely disgusting! Your teaching our young girls that hard wok doesn’t matter only connection and money!) The Rebbe would never agree with this!

"If a student struggled to engage in high school."
March 27, 2026 11:33 am

That’s lies! So many strong students get rejected while they watch the weak one easily get it.

Www
March 27, 2026 1:48 pm

Reading thru these comments, it’s apparent that way too many people don’t understand how supply and demand works…. Ranting about how dare they be able to hurt so many girls and charge so much yada yada yada… It’s their seminary, they can choose who they want attending and no one’s forcing anyone to go. There are other more affordable options like BR sem. Screaming about how wrong it is that your daughter was rejected won’t magically make more spaces or beds available. The only thing that fixes the problem is more options and based on the entitlement of the comments,… Read more »

If you’re a top girl
March 27, 2026 2:25 pm

You’ll get into a top seminary

Top seminary
Reply to  If you’re a top girl
March 27, 2026 5:44 pm

Many top girl get rejected from top seminarys

Grandparent
March 27, 2026 6:17 pm

What I think could improve is 2 things:
1) Someone who has the time, desire and knowledge should compile a catalog of Chabad seminary programs complete with price, emphasis on learning, special perks, trips and activities as well as the type of girl the seminary wants to attract and how many spaces they have.
2)Before any acceptances or rejections go out to the girls, consult the principals of the high schools so that another seminary can be arranged to accept rejected students and nobody comes away without an acceptance somewhere.

They do
Reply to  Grandparent
March 29, 2026 12:45 am

There is a list of seminaries and all the principals do speak to each other.

Think carefully before even applying!!
March 29, 2026 12:11 am

Seminary is not for everyone. But peer pressure in 12th grade, coupled with the power that mechanchot wield over their students contributes to the anxiety and stress. Think carefully… maybe a year of growth on shluchus will serve some girls better than all the pressure (academic, social and financial) you and your families experience. That’s what my dil did and you can’t getter a better, more capable and talented wife and mother, than her!

Ridiculous
March 29, 2026 12:49 am

The comments here are absolutely ridiculous. I am a “no name” in Chabad from some random out of town community. My children got accepted to schools because they worked hard to be their best selves and applied to schools that were a good fit for them. Stop playing the victim card. You really think principals are out to get YOU? If you are filled with bitterness, take responsibility for your feelings and figure out how YOU can change your life. It’s no one else’s responsibility.

Ploni Almoni
March 29, 2026 4:00 am

I have two daughters who went to two different seminaries. One was value for money, with high-quality teachers, courses, and experiences; the other was on autopilot, taking whoever was available (some good and most mediocre), to teach whatever they wanted, with little in terms of meaningful experiences. The gashmiyus of the first was sufficient, though hardly lavish; the living conditions of the second were horrendous, with mouldly dorms and very little food. The first Sem cost much less than the second. The first sem was working for the Rebbe while making a reasonable living; the second was clearly focussed on… Read more »

Chana
March 29, 2026 4:06 am

Seminary in Miami is a great place! Go to Israel for a great summer vacation and then choose wisely.

A parent
March 29, 2026 6:54 am

There is an option of Bais Rivka in CH who will take your daughter if she wants to learn. It doesn’t have the same price tag but it has many great teachers and your daughter will definitely gain and grow. Chabad seminaries in EY are much cheaper than non Chabad. If you’re Canadian, South American or Australian there’s generous MASA if you’re American there FAFSA and other grants. We aren’t brand name and yes our girls went to the “top” seminary. No they’re not drinking or vaping or in nightclubs C”V!! The main difference was the environment and the very… Read more »

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